My parents returned from holiday the other day and the nice people that they are decided to take me out for a run in the car a spot of lunch. Which I had no intention of turning down, despite the fact that I would have to listen to the incessant holiday rundown. As some of our readers may already know, last summer my car got written off in a high speed accident and we are both lucky to still be here.
So they came round to pick me up and we had a jaunt in to our beautiful countryside. We stopped off at a quaint little country pub for lunch and I was well ready to eat by the time we arrived. My parents have got used to the continental lifestyle, eating far too late for me I was almost swooning by the time we got there.
The Inn had a lovely carvery on, so rather than wait for my order to be prepared I went for the instant option. I filled my plate with a selection of cooked meats and salad, hot food was certainly out with this hot weather. My parents decided to join me and filled their plates too. There was a lovely cottage style courtyard behind the pub with a row of picnic tables and umbrellas. You know the kind that have benches attached to the table so you have to cock your leg over to climb over the bench and sit down.
I took up position in the only shaded part of the table with my mother sitting next to me and my father opposite her. Boy, it was boiling out there and even though I was wearing factor 15 sun cream I didn’t want to run the risk of burning, so I was quite content to sit in the shade of the umbrella. My parents must have skins like pachyderms, they have a perma-tan and never seem to burn.
I pursued my cherry tomato around my plate and eventually speared it on my fork and I was just about to put it in to my open mouth when I was distracted. The guy on the opposite picnic table was sitting with his legs wide open wearing khaki shorts. Nobody sat opposite him therefore my view of him was uninterrupted. Now this would not have been a problem, only you could see up the leg of his shorts. Particularly the left leg! With my mouth still open and my parents contentedly talking amongst themselves, I noticed something making it’s way down his short’s leg.
OMG! It was his cock. Now, once again this wouldn’t normally be a problem. What more could you ask heatwave, idyllic setting, wonderful fayre…exposed cock. I looked up to check the guy out and this is when things started to go awry. He was about 70 years old and what’s more I think he saw me checking out his winkie. I placed the tomato in my mouth and started to chew and look nonchalant about the whole thing. I’m sure the smile I was trying to hold back escaped a couple of times.
It’s like people who cannot resist looking at a traffic accident, I felt compelled to check it out again. Was it his winkie or was it his bollock? The slight shadow his shorts were casting over his privates was not giving me chance to discern whether this was his cock or his ball bag.
It was very difficult but I managed to eat and talk to my parents whilst milling the whole thing over and not give myself away. A true professional cock watcher in the making. LOL. I finished up my lunch and as I placed my cutlery down on my plate for the final time, the old flasher got up and left.
As soon as he was out of earshot I told my mother. Do you know what she said and this is no lie? “Why didn’t you tell me when he was here?”. We both laughed and my dad who was completely oblivious to the whole thing sat looking quizzically at us. So the moral of this story…you guys out there make sure you wear underwear under your shorts, it’s safer.