Monthly Archives: April 2007

Groutuitous Naughtiness

If there’s one thing that Bank Holidays in the UK are renown for, apart from the mad dash to the coast, is DIY. All those little jobs that you don’t get time to do for the rest of the year tend to get done over the long weekend.

In our case one of the jobs was a problem with the shower, specifically that the grouting at one side of the tiling had cracked and was allowing water to seep through, causing a nice wet patch on the kitchen ceiling. So three hours and a pair of sore knees later I’m ready to get cleaned up and settle down for the evening.

Normally I’d have a shower as baths take a while to prepare and for me just take up too much time. However as the shower is out of commission until tomorrow, bath it was.

It’s a strange experience having a bath after showering for so many years. I really started to get into it and after getting cleaned up I lay back for a couple of minutes rest. The couple of minutes turned into about ten as I nodded off.

The dream I had was rather nebulous and floaty, due to the partial suspension in water I suppose. Into said dream came a far more familiar sensation, a hand on my cock. I couldn’t see the owner of the hand, it didn’t matter who it was , they were doing just fine. The eager skilful fingers stroked and caressed my cock and balls, their passage eased it would seem by a little soap.

The effect on my cock was pretty predictable. It swelled up, the hand now stroking the length of the shaft, pulling my foreskin back towards my tight balls. Some dream eh?

Relaxed and aroused I didn’t thrust or buck as I would normally while receiving such stimulation. I just let it happen.

The hand was gripping me more firmly now, the strokes slower too. This hand knew me very well…

I could feel an “Mmmmm” of pleasure escaping from my lips. I was close, the tension in my groin was building, tiny beads of iridescent blue-green orgasm poised in anticipation. Then I came the opalescent pearls of sensation accompanying the spurts of cum that fell across my half submerged torso.

I opened my eyes to see Suze, my cock still clutched in her hand smiling down at me. She leant forward into the bath to kiss me on the lips then stood up.  Her tongue scooped up the drops of cum from her hand.

She smiled, “I just couldn’t resist.”

Getting In Touch With Your Sexuality

Some years before I met Alex I was going out with a guy who I fell head over heels with.  My feelings were so deep that I thought that I loved him.  I did say “thought”, yes.  Because I think you can believe that you are in love with someone until you really find Mr Right and then you “know” that you love them.

He was the first boyfriend I had had who encouraged me to be me and feel relaxed in his company.  You know how some guys/girls can almost make you feel the need to be on best behaviour.  This guy didn’t, I could even fart comfortably in his presence.  Lol

In previous relationships I had found the need to be who they wanted me to be, even when it came to having sex with them.  Again, I use that term because I wasn’t in love with them, I just thought I was.  I think there has always been a need in me to find my soul mate, the one I would share the rest of my life with.  This blinded me to the truth, even masked the unfaithful activities of previous lovers.

With him I discovered one evening after a night out with the married couple a few door away that I was truly bisexual.  I had inklings of liking other girls throughout my teens but thought it was just one of those rights of passage that most girls go through.  It wasn’t…

I have written in depth about our first encounter when we were trying on my underwear for each other and how one thing led to another.  Before we knew it we were rolling around on our bed licking, fondling and fingering each other.

At one point her husband entered the room and lay on the bed next to me, trying to get in on the action.  He withdrew when it was apparent from our infatuation with each other, which nobody was going to interrupt that he wasn’t going to be part of our sexual tryst.

You need to read back in to the archives to find out what happened, lets just say that we had quite a thing going for a month or so.

I didn’t realise, neither did the other couple, that my boyfriend had recorded the events as they unfurled on his camera.  I clearly remember him sending them off to a discreet laboratory somewhere in the south of the country to have them developed.  I bet they made a copy for themselves too.  How many other naughty photos are out there in the wrong hands?  Those guys at the labs must have had a ball.

Some days later, I think perhaps a week or more, the photos were delivered by the postman and we eagerly tore open the envelope.  They were very explicit and naughty for the time and we got 2 copies, one for the neighbours too.  😉

When I eventually split up from him, he gave me the photos (I’m not sure if they were the only copy, of that I can never be sure!) to take with me.  I placed them in the cardboard box of my possessions and left.

Several months later I met Alex.  He was a very kind and caring not just wanting to get inside my pants guy and I liked him very much from the start.  So much so that I wanted to be straight with him from the start.

I wanted to tell him everything about me but one thing scared me…I just didn’t know how I was going to tell him I was bisexual.  I know a lot of guys dream of having a girlfriend who can enjoy both the female and male form but at that time I was a little naïve about those things.  We all have to start somewhere.  Lol

It took me a couple of weeks, until I thought I had got to know him quite well and could not imagine him being unkind to me if I revealed my secret.  I recall we had been out for a few drinks and a dance at a club and we were both a little inebriated.  The conversation was flowing and I thought the time was right to come clean.

I braced myself and almost held my breath after I revealed to him that I was bisexual and had encounters with another girl.  I sat there rigid as he digested the information and I could almost hear the cogs turning in his head as he considered what I had just said to him.  Perhaps he thought I said something else and he misheard me or that I was joking.

He knew from the expression on my face that I was being totally honest with him.

A smile appeared on his face and he said, “I thought you were going to reveal something really bad to me”.  “Thanks for being so honest with me, I feel flattered that you can entrust me with that.”  I smiled back at him and gave an audible sigh (I can clearly remember that moment to this day).

“So, where are the photos?”

4 Day Week

It’s only a four day week and already I’m ready for the weekend. Ah well, only the afternoon to go then off home to Suze. It’d be nice to think that we’d be able to spend tonight doing the wild thing, but I suspect it’s more likely that we’ll be asleep well before we intend to. The up-side is of course that there’s the rest of the weekend to make up for it, and it’s a long one.
Four whole days gives us a lot of scope for experimentation, Suze has already expressed a wish that I intend to fulfill. I’ll tell you about it after the event. Tomorrow however we’ll be out in the countryside. The weather is set fair and as we both spend our lives in offices, away from fresh air and nature, I’m determined to ensure we make the best of it, even if it’s busy out there.
Living as we do in a semi-rural area it’s easy to see everyone else as “bloody tourists” when we’re out. But that’s the way the inhabitants of the smaller local villages undoubtedly see us when we roll up on a trip out. It’s a matter of perspective. So I’ll try not to swear at them too much as I’m stuck in a traffic jam. That’s the problem with us both working, we’re now more restricted in when we can take days off, Bank Holidays are not my preferred R&R times. The money’s handy though so just ignore that grumble.
What is a little disappointing is that these days it’s very difficult to have sex outdoors. Don’t get me wrong, it always has been. It’s fundamentally illegal (gross indecency), hard to find a secluded place that someone else hasn’t already found and bloody uncomfortable (rocks in the back/knees, cramped in a car etc …).
Now it’s very difficult to find anywhere to park up, let alone get a blanket out and get some fresh air involved. During the day it’s obviously a no-no on a bank holiday, the chances of getting yourself into a secluded woodland glade, getting down to it and actually reaching a happy conclusion are virtually nil. Add to that the problems caused by couples/individuals just watching for coupling-couples and your chances of success are non-existent.
At night all the best spaces that were once “Lover’s Lanes” are now occupied by groups “Dogging” or police patrolling to ensure that the Dogging doesn’t take place.
Suze wrote this article about Dogging ages ago, just in case you haven’t seen it/don’t know what it is.
So we’ll just enjoy the fresh air, take a few pictures. No, not those sort of pictures! Well perhaps … And make sure the rest of the weekend is free for us to enjoy ourselves properly.

Going Down

Sometimes I really do wonder what goes on in some bloke’s heads. We were watching TV the other day when a presenter said that he wasn’t too keen on going down on his partner, or women in general for that matter.


I watched this and felt my jaw drop, a modern guy, host of a well known sex-related show doesn’t like ploughing the pink furrow? I thought I must have misheard, but no, he said he wasn’t very keen on the idea.

So I thought, let’s weigh this up from my point of view.


  • It’s intimate, I don’t just stick my head in anyone’s crotch. SO ladies if you find me with my head down there I must think something about you.
  • It’s fun, I find both parties enjoy it. I don’t claim to be the world’s best at it, but I’ve never had any complaints and I have had a few compliments.
  • It’s tastes, smells and feels divine.
  • The reaction you get from your partner is gratifying, and a real turn on for me.


  • None.

Pretty clean cut I think you’ll agree, well it is for me.

As for others, what possible reason could they have for not wanting to indulge in the administering of a good tongue lashing?

Perhaps they don’t like the idea of putting their mouth near someone’s “toilet bits”. In that case get her to have a wash. That was difficult wasn’t it?

Or perhaps they don’t feel confident in their technique. Look mate, if you’re reading this you know who you are and my email address is on the sidebar, I’ll send you tips. However practice makes perfect, so find a patient lady and …

There’s no way you can’t enjoy the aroma and the taste, it’s just so feminine and exciting.

Now I’m not saying that any of this is the reason he doesn’t like doing it, but there are ways to get over this irrational aversion to cunnilingus. I’m sure Suze would let him practice on her, again and again, until he got it right. And I’m betting he doesn’t mind her giving him a bit of attention downstairs. Hmmmmm?

“Alex, what were you saying about cunnilingus?”  🙂

Oh Bugger!

Sorry to anyone who had problems posting since around 11:00 GMT last night. I was editing the template and well, you know, not a good time to fiddle with your template, when you’re shagged out.

 So, a huge thanks to Froggy Woogie for pointing out the problem 🙂

Metal Heart

I wish I had a metal heart
I could cross the line
I wish that I was half as good
As you think I am

But now that we know for sure they’re telling lies when they say
No one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies
You know it’s hard to believe anything that you hear
They say the world is round

Wish I was as big as you
You’d have to tell the truth
I’d be nothing you could hurt
Nothing you could use

Lyrics “Metal Heart”, from the album “Bleed Like Me”, Garbage, 2005

This is an album track that I’ve vaguely liked for a while, musically. But I was listening to it today and it seemed to describe my world view at the moment. Current events in the news, politically and environmentally are preying on my mind as you know so that’s probably why.

Anyway that aside, whether this was meant as one of the awesome Garbage‘s bitter-sweet songs about love, loss and betrayal or about something else it’s worth a listen, as is the whole album.

The image was a serendipitous find. I typed “Metal Heart” and found it on Google Image Search. It’s from a charity auction held last year by the charity WAYS in Sydney Australia. It was donated by Carol Murphy. The charity supports “Young people and families in … Sydney”.

And please keep your suggestions coming for the podcast by commenting on the post below. 😀