Monthly Archives: May 2007

Slip Slidin’…

I am currently off work with some kind of gastro-intestinal virus which is making me feel like my guts were going round in a washing machine but I won’t burden you with the detail.  No, don’t pity me…well, yes do.  🙂  I feel like shit and it is inhibiting my copulation no end.

It all started on Tuesday morning, the alarm went off and we were woken by the clock radio playing something far too jolly for that time of day.  Bah humbug.  I turned on to my side and pushed in to Alex’s groin so that we were spooning.

And then it came to my notice that my guts were trying to leap out of me, making gurgling and glugging noises.  I wriggled against Alex until I felt a little more comfortable despite my musical tummy.

Alex began to stir and put his arm around me, cupping my breasts in his arm and moving up to the back of my head.  He placed a kiss on the nape of my neck and said “Good morning darling”.  I burbled good morning, feeling all sorry for myself.

Feeling warm and comforted by Alex hugging up close I began to slowly drift back to sleep again.  Alex had other ideas.  He started to push his groin against my ass and groan rather hornily.  He moved his arm to enable him to get a purchase on my left nipple, he started to pinch it firmly between his fingers and I didn’t complain I love nipple play, even when I’m feeling icky.

He continued to press himself up against me…no push against me.  I could now feel his cock pushing in to my buttocks.  Alex had a hardon and was obviously feeling a little more amorous than I was.

“Turn over”, he whispered in to my ear his hot breath warming my lobe.  Ordinarily you wouldn’t have to ask twice, hey you probably wouldn’t have to ask at all if your hard cock was poking in to my back!  But I was too ill to even contemplate having a hard cock thrust inside my very tender stomach.

“Why don’t you rub up against me?”, I offered, not totally selflessly, I love to feel him rubbing one off against me.  “I’m not feeling too good today”, I explained because I’m sure he was taken by surprise that I didn’t want to fuck.

He continued to rub up against my buttocks, a slow hip rock which made his cock ride up and down my ass crack.  His breathing has now accelerated as he motioned between my buttocks.  Despite my discomfort I was now starting to get turned on at the thought of that hard cock running between my buttocks and my pussy was now feeling quite moist and humid, my nipples hard and sensitive as they glanced across the sheets.

His cock was leaving a wet trail on my flesh as it passed over me I could feel his precum cooling in the airstream made by his movements.  I reached round behind me and ran my fingers over the tip of his erection.  He was wet and sticky and I scooped up some of his fluid and returned my fingers to my mouth to taste him.  Pre cum has the sweetest flavour an appetiser for what is to cum.  😉

Alex continued to slide up and down my crack, pushing against my asshole occasionally to tease.  “I’m dry, I need some lube”, he suggested.  I reached over to the bedside cabinet and could just grasp the lube that we had used the other night without having to disengage from his ministrations.

He rolled my hips over so that I was now face down against the bed.  I passed him the tube and felt the cool viscous lube as he squeezed it on my warm ass.  He pushed his cock between my cheeks, slicking them up for the fucking they were about to receive.  A couple of thrusts up and down and he engaged his cock between my ass cheeks, pushing them together either side of his erection.

He began to pump in to them with increasing speed and his breathing had now turned to groans of excitement as he pounded my ass.  My pussy was throbbing and I reached down under myself between my legs to start rubbing my swollen clit.  I ran my fingers between my lips and picked up some of my own juices.

He was now fucking me like a wild man and pushing against my cheeks with his hands.  I could hear the slurping noises created by the lube as he fucked away and it pushed me closer to the edge, I needed to bring myself off.

“Agghhhh”, he exclaimed and I felt his seed jettison across my back and hitting me square between my shoulders.  His thrusting started to subdue as the last of his ejaculation issued forth.  I can’t adequately describe how much of a turn it was to know that Alex has just cum all over my back.  I couldn’t see it but that made it all the more stimulating.

Now distracted from my mission I asked Alex if I could taste him.  I felt his finger glide against my flesh and then I could smell him as he raised his finger to my mouth.  Delicious main course…but dessert was yet to come.  😉

Play Time

After the little one had gone back home and we had regained our strength thoughts turned to the naughtiness we had promised ourselves would happen this weekend.  The house was once again quiet, just us and the cat.

Around 9pm we retired to bed, still weary but a little more energised following dinner and a couple of hours unwinding vegging in front of the television.

We decided to try out one of our latest sex toys.  Alex grabbed the package out of the lockable suitcase under the bed and removed our latest acquisition.  🙂  Our sex toy supplier had also rather generously included a selection of lubes for us to try too.

Each one was individually wrapped in it’s own bag in case of leakage.  I located the scissors in my top drawer (I have something for every occasion and need in that drawer.  😉 ) and cut the poly wrap from each one of the tubes of lube.

Alex unwrapped the toy and disappeared off to the bathroom to give it a thorough wash before we used it.  He is such a thoughtful guy.  🙂  Meantime I examined the lubes on offer for the nights fun.

It was then that I hit upon a bit of a problem…

…now don’t laugh, but I couldn’t read a few of them because the writing was small and electric lighting is not great to read by.  When Alex returned with his gleaming toy I asked him to take a look.  He couldn’t read the labels either but that was no surprise as his vision is worse than mine.  Lol  He put his glasses on but still couldn’t read them.

Alex being the practical guy that he is disappeared off in to the study and returned, camera in hand.

“What are you doing?”, I enquired.

“I’m going to take a picture of them, load it on to the pc and enlarge the image so that we can try and read it”.

Brilliant!  I thought.  I knew there was a reason that I was so infatuated with this guy, apart from the size of his dinkle.  Lol.

So he took the images, loaded them on to the pc and we still couldn’t read them properly even with 10 million pixel and a long lens 😉 .  The flash he had to use in the low light had obliterated the text.  We turned to each other and laughed.  How many other couples would be doing this during a night of passion?  Then again how many people are comfortable enough with each other to do it?

We returned to the bedroom none the wiser and I picked the first lube that came to hand…

New Skin

The old template was looking a bit tired and it only had one sidebar, so I poked around on the Word Press site and found the “Green Darkly” template. Being green it took a bit of work (Replacing most of the images and most of the colours, and adding the style sheets) to change it to our red and black scheme. I also added some of our proprietary PHP and Javascript.

On the subject of which, when you comment, a link to your site now appears on our sidebar. Nice little custom-built PHP widget, if I do say so myself. So if you’re a member of Belong, and you’ve registered an avatar at Belong, your image appears next to your comment.

It’s more than likely that there will be niggly problems with the site over the next few days, though I think they’ll only be minor ones. I’d be really grateful if you spot anything peculiar happening, especially if you use Fire Fox, Safari or any other non-Microsoft browser as I don’t tend to use Fire Fox and don’t have a Mac.

All Change

Yes it’s a new template 🙂 If you spot any problems please let me know. 

Erm, like the image on the post below briefly appearing then disappearing when viewing the site using IE. It’s OK in Firefox and only appears to affect that image. I’ll figure it out soon.

Water Water Everywhere

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
Rhyme Of The Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 1863 (Published)

The creative process is like a three legged stool, the legs being motivation, inspiration and ability. I like to think I have a little of the latter and varying degrees of the first two. But the seat of the stool, if this isn’t pushing the metaphor to breaking point, is time.

I used to have a lot of time on my hands. I know I did because I can drive a car in Gran Tourismo on the Play Station like a professional race driver and I can perform a Wastelander manoeuvre in Jak and Daxter faultlessly. Now the Playstation sits idle in it’s aluminium briefcase awaiting a time when I have no need to write any more. And of course work doesn’t demand so much time of me.

The problem is I do need to write and I do need to work (otherwise the bank come and take the house).

OK so this is a bit of a procrastination post I suppose, how come I have the time to write this and nothing else? I think because I’ve been so frustrated over the last couple of months about the lack of time I’m able to dedicate to creative writing that now, when I have a few moments I wanted to vent. Not at anyone or anything in particular, just those appallingly common circumstances where an idea is flitting around in your head, waiting to be disgorged onto the page and a lack of time, a distraction at work or a real world incident snatches it from you.

I need to express my exasperation to move on and make some progress, to shed the leaden cloak of frustration. Frustration for me is a vicious circle where writing is concerned, it smothers my creativity and in so doing amplifies itself. Crap huh?

It’s like the story I started to write in response to the suggestions made on our birthday post. It’s about one third complete. I broke off to deal with RL shit a couple of weeks ago and it’s languished in that condition on my hard disk ever since.

Well, it’s Spring Bank this weekend so, deep breath and “Snap yourself out of it Alex!”.

And if you were wondering, the image is one of mine, taken in 1988. It kind of sums up my mood, glum and hemmed in. If you’re really interested it’s on Kodak Tmax 1200, push processed to about 6000 ISO, taken on a Yashica FX-D with a 50mm lens at about f22. I found it in the loft. I lost a lot of the negatives that I took when I was into photography years ago and the prints went with them. My own fault, they were accidentally thrown away during a house clear-out. The ones I found got me thinking about doing more photography. Hmmm.

Making A Clean Sweep

The AlexSuze household has become a shine to the Sex Toy lately, with the reviews and tireless testing.  All for the benefit of our readers.  Lol

Every room seems to contain a butt plug, dildo or other object of pleasure and to us that is perfectly normal.  We are comfortable with our sexuality and open in our pursuit of carnal pleasures.

It seems perfectly normal to share the living room with a dildo or the bedroom with a clit stimulator sitting on the bedside cabinet.  Perhaps a little too normal, as is the way with comfort and familiarity it can lead to an embarrassing downfall.  Like the parents turning up unexpectedly or in our case little nephew stopping with us overnight.

Alex and I did a sweep of all the house and collected the various items of naughtiness together.  We needed to be able to lock them away because little nephew is becoming more aware and inquisitive as children do.  So we decided to use one of our old combination lock suitcases.

We whizzed around the house before collecting up items, we must have looked humorous dashing around clutching dildos, vibes and lubes but we managed to collect every last one and lock them away in the suitcase until the little one had gone home.

As soon as we finished up and secreted the case under our bed (it needs to be to hand doesn’t it?) we left to collect him in the car.  It’s great to have him stay over but tiring after a week at work but it helps out and we love to have him despite being absolutely buggered by the time he goes home.  🙂

I let him in to the house whilst Alex parked up the car and the first thing he does is go to check his room and then he does a tour of the house.  I suppose he is checking if there is anything new to see.

Just as he enters the office I spotted it…

…there on the bookshelf was the box from the strap-on I fucked Alex with the other day, if you missed the review you can catch up on it here.  I quickly flew past the little one almost turning him in to a spin and grabbed the box.  It wouldn’t have mattered if it hadn’t so graphically illustrated the contents of the box on the outside and I didn’t quite feel up to explaining to his mummy why I had a box with a willy in it.  🙂

I got away with it as little nephew was so stunned by my quick moves that he didn’t notice me throw the box up on top of the bookshelf.  I’ve got to admit that as I write this post I’m still wondering if we managed to move everything, or is there something lurking in a drawer somewhere.

Whatever it is it’ll probably come to light when Alex’s mum is there to see it. Aaaargh!

Tags: sex toy,sex toys,sex toy review,anal sex,strap-on sex,vibrator,sex lube

“Rammer-Lama No Dong!”

A couple of days ago Alex and I placed our order for the next two Toy Reviews with our friends over at our sex toy supplier.  It gets me all excited just like a little kid at Christmas, anticipating their arrival, followed swiftly by their use.  😉  Well, I don’t like to keep you waiting.

So I have been on tenter hooks waiting for them to be delivered.  Not to mention, making sure that I have some clothes on in case the postman should knock.  Or should I say, the bulldog faced Rammer appear at the door.  Lol

When they didn’t arrive this morning I was sure that Friday morning would be the day and wondered all the way to work if I could open the parcel and have a quick “Go” with them before leaving for work.  But that wouldn’t be fair to Alex, who was equally excited about using our latest Sex Toys.

As I pulled on to the driveway I noticed something wedged no, rammed in to the letterbox in the door.  I locked the car and eagerly sped down the drive.  I retrieved the card.  It was from the Post Office…they had tried to deliver the parcel and the explanation for not delivering it was “Too Big For Letterbox”.  🙁

I’m sure if the Rammer had his evil way with the package he would have bent it in two and pushed it as hard as he could through the door, perhaps using a foot to coax it on its way.  😀  Common sense must have prevailed because this guy doesn’t think twice about folding up our mail and just ramming it in there.

The only other piece of post that he hasn’t folded and wedged in the door is Birthday cards, he must draw the line at that and Sex Toys.  I’m also thankful that he didn’t offer to leave it with our elderly neighbours up the road.  If he had torn the packaging trying to get it through the door, who knows what they would be privy to.  It doesn’t bear thinking about.

So tomorrow Alex is going to get up bright and early (they are open from 5am) to go to the Post Office and collect the package.   Aren’t you dear?

Who knows, we may get time to test one of them before we leave for work…

Pick Up In A Pick-Up

Today just got hotter and hotter and when I got in to my car (without aircon) to drive home I wished I had a convertible and could just lower my top.  😉  I had to make do with opening all my car windows and the sunroof in the vain hope that the rush of air would cool the near boiling car down.

I just wished I had gone to work in a skirt today instead of trousers and a short sleeved shirt.  By the end of the day my g-string was stuck up my crack and my boobs were dieing to be released from the confines of my bra.

I set out on my normal route home and had quite an uneventful trip back, that was until I was about 3 miles from my home.  As I approached the queuing traffic at the roundabout I headed for the middle lane. 

About 20 yards from the roundabout the traffic came to a halt.  I became aware of a silver truck on my right just easing up beside my car.  In my peripheral vision I could just make out someone leaning out of the window.  I didn’t look, not wanting to attract his attention.

“I could do with a pair of glasses like those”, came his voice through my window.

I kept on staring straight ahead a smile only moments from my lips.

“Not talking then”, came his response to the silence.

At that point the traffic moved forward and I lifted my left foot and applied the gas, edging slowly forward leaving him behind.

I took a sneaky look in my side mirror and there were two bronzed bald headed guys in the truck.

Smiling to myself and although I don’t like to admit it, enjoying the attention I sat still in the middle lane as he came alongside again.

“Now then gorgeous, what are you doing tonight”, he cheekily asked.

I think I must have given myself away when a smile appeared on my face.

“Are we talking now?”

The traffic moved forward again and once more I squeezed the accelerator, grateful for the release.  But it didn’t last long, his truck pulled ring alongside again.

“Well, what do you say I’m doing nothing?”

At that moment came my break the car in front of me pulled out on to the roundabout and I put my foot down firmly on the accelerator and followed them out.

Leaving my suitor behind in a trail of dust.  🙂

I continued on towards home and felt a slight relief at not having to answer the guy.  Lol

It must have been the strangest location that I have ever been chatted up in, how about you?  I bet you have some stories to tell…


Nurse Mary by *Drakenborg on deviantART

I was channel hopping the other day and happened across a re-run of “On the Busses” follow the link if you’re too young to remember the show, or it never aired in your part of the world. Like a lot of comedy of its time it was very peculiarly English in its humour and has dated to the extent that it’s unwatchable except as a TV curio. It’s even gone past the point where I can get nostalgic about being sent to bed before it came on because it was too risqué.

What got me thinking was not the music hall performances and jokes, or the bawdy, single-dimensional humour and even shallower characters, but the uniforms. I can just remember when bus drivers wore uniforms, not just black trousers and a corporate blue shirt, but full uniforms. Polished buttons peaked caps, the works. Same for the police, they still have a dress uniform, but that is incompatible with their role as a modern police force. It’s knife vests and utility belts replacing the jackets and truncheons.

I actually rather miss the uniforms, you knew if someone had a uniform they should be listened too, had some authority. There’s a classic Radio Times cover from the 80s, the week they first showed the apocalyptic drama “Threads“, based on the effects of a nuclear attack on a British city. It was a still of a man carrying an army issue SLR against a chain link fence, his face was bandaged and he wore a uniform. He was keeping some of the survivors of the attack penned up in a stockade. He wasn’t a soldier, he was a traffic warden, even the most hated pavement-pounders in England were seen as authority figures were society to break down.

So what’s the point of this semi-maudlin walk down memory lane? Well, there’s always been a fascination in this country with uniforms, maybe it’s elsewhere in the world too. In the UK it seems to be a very strong fascination with what lies beneath. Is that starched shirt and tightly buttoned tunic holding in a wanton sex maniac? Is that hair, so tightly pinned into a bun on matron’s head concealing a matchless passion that once unleashed would consume any man in its path?

It’s a fascination/fetish that’s reinforced by films and the media, though over time the way in which it has been portrayed has changed according to the decade. Looking back just after WWII uniforms were ubiquitous, police, fire fighters, ambulance drivers, nurses, traffic wardens, bus drivers, bus conductors, bus inspectors, doormen the list goes on.

The horrors of the first world war began the ascendancy of the power of the working man, but did not shatter the structure of British society. The hell of the trenches, the mud, disease and death meant the survivors refused to be subservient to the traditional ruling classes. It did not however lead to revolution as in Russia or the desperation that drove the German people to embrace National Socialism. The order of society evolved rather than collapsed and authority figures remained. Granted the lampooning of authority thrived as it has done throughout English history, but it acted as a safety valve preventing calamitous changes.

The second world war finished the process that the 1914-18 war had started. Now it was open season on authority figures. I’m not going to drone on about the undermining of traditional values, because some traditional values were complete rubbish, no, this is where I return to my original thoughts about uniforms.

The “Carry On” films, The Goons, Python and satirical humour in the printed media and on TV all slowly undermined the authority of uniformed figures. Almost without exception they did it by one of two means. Depicting uniformed figures as objects of ridicule (because they were stupid, pompous or out-dated e.g. The Life And Death Of Colonel Blimp Powell/Pressberger 1943) or making them into sex objects.

We’re now at the stage were uniforms mean something different than they did 50 years ago. You can now buy a uniform to go to a party as a naughty nurse or a WPC. You can buy it in rubber if you like. Military style latex couture is both fashionable and widely available on the web.

Our attitude towards uniforms is a blend of the comic and a sense that by say, having sex with that WPC you are somehow breaking out from the confinement that society places upon us all. Maybe you have a thing for black leather trousers, boots, long coats and riding crops? Is it that you want to be dominated, oppressed and shown no mercy? Or is it just a bit of fun?

When a uniform forms part of a Scene in sexual play it can be a powerful totem, a visual shorthand for each participant’s role and a sensual augmentation during the scene. Whether it’s leather rubber, or PVC a uniform can become a necessary and integral part of the Scene.

Well it’s late and I’m knackered but if any of you have thoughts on this I’d be very interested to hear them.

Tags: uniforms,uniform fetish,Michael Powell,Emeric Pressburger,Colonel Blimp,The Life And Death of Colonel Blimp,On the Busses,Carry On films,Carry On Nurse,Carry On Doctor,Carry On Seargent,power exchange,BDSM,D/s

Clarissa – Part 2

Fuck he was huge! She felt at her limit trying to accommodate his girth, the scale of his cock was almost too big to be pleasurable. Almost.

She pulled herself upright and settled down on his groin, grinding against his pubis until totally impaled. His eyes told her he wouldn’t last long “You sexy bitch” she told herself “They don’t stand a chance”.

Clarissa squeezed him, firmly but gently with the muscles of her vagina and watched the effect it had on him. He was so ready to cum, she wanted to prolong the act, postpone the moment. Her hunger was showing though, the intensity flowing out of her into him.

He felt it, though did not comprehend it. His neck rested on a rotting twig, its fabric in the process of being consumed by an almost invisible fungus. Each part of the organism was microscopic but Vincent could feel himself drawn along its filigree network of tendrils amongst the leaf mould on the forest floor. He tasted the wood, oak, elm, beech, sycamore, each with its own character, texture and taste. He encountered a mouse two days dead, the corruption of its flesh was nauseating to his human senses but now it was another source of nourishment, almost fresh, it would be days before he could extract the nutrients from it easily…

Vincent’s body called him back, Clarissa was riding him now, leaning forward, enjoying the cock that filled her, stretched her. She rubbed her clitoris against his pubic hair, the wiry curls igniting cascades of stellar pleasure inside her. He felt a momentary pain in his shoulders, her hands grasping at them, then the pain was gone as her hands slipped inside and merged with his flesh.

Clarissa laughed, his orgasm coalesced in front of her, the joy on his face the rush of energy coursing through his flesh. She felt him rise up and slam his cock into her, felt his hot semen fill her. Her teeth were fully exposed now but he saw them with an incomprehension that rendered him blind to her animal, lustful hunger. Clarissa dived forward and bit deep into Vincent’s neck, his racing heart pumped blood from his breached carotid artery into Clarissa’s waiting mouth at such pressure that she found her self unable to drink it all, the dark red eau de vie spilled from her lips and covered her face while she feasted.

With his heart’s last beat she sat upright, still speared on his cock, blood now running down her neck and between her breasts. The world was sharp around her, vivid in its clarity. Moments like this, when she had just fed made the disadvantages of her new existence seem almost inconsequential…

Before the blood had chance to dry on her skin she absorbed it, letting it seep through her dermis until no trace remained. Acutely conscious of the sticky humidity between her legs she left Vincent to the forest, his corpse quickly concealed under an unseasonal fall of leaves from the trees around him.


Mark saw her intense dark light moving in under the canopy of the forest, she was easy to find after a fresh kill. Young, reckless dangerous to herself and all her kind. He followed her at a distance, waiting until she was in the open before closing the gap between them.

A few meters behind her he whispered her name in his mind. She turned, “I thought it was you following me. Mark, you’re terrible at stalking, it’s a wonder the humans don’t here you coming.”

“They want to see you. Tonight”

“I’m busy.”

“It isn’t a request.”

“They can come to me.” There was arrogance in her voice, but underneath an uncertainty.

“They’ll send the Stewards if you don’t go to them.” Mark said “Steward” with a reverence born of fear.

Clarissa was quelled, even she feared the Stewards. “Later then” She attempted to cover her disquiet with a carefree intonation. It didn’t work.

Getting The Right Tool For The Job

It was another warm, sunny and very pleasant weekend again over here in the UK.  And with another Bank Holiday coming up next weekend thoughts turned to SEX no unfortunately there other things in life…like DIY.  *groan*  It just has to be done and every time there is a holiday I seem to spend it doing something around the house.  Never seem to get enough time during the working week.

So off to the DIY merchants we went.  We are rubbing down the internal doors to give them a new lick of paint, white soon gets marked but looks so good.  I’m complaining about having to prep them and then paint them but really I shouldn’t because this is only the second time they have been re-painted since they were hung.

Alex and I set off in time for the store opening to avoid the other like minded DIY’ers and the inevitable queues.  Bank Holiday weekends over here spell “Do it yourself” and a busy time for the local casualty departments I believe, with people falling off ladders, injuring themselves with various power tools and other miscellaneous accidents.  So if you are planning on doing anything out of the ordinary next weekend make sure you are careful with your equipment.  🙂  You just knew I had to get that one in didn’t you.

I like visiting the DIY store, in fact I sometimes prefer it to shopping for myself.  The reason being that the stores usually attract a high proportion of males and that means only one thing…potential eye candy for you know who.  😉

We parked up the car in the VERY full car park.  I mean what the hell are all those people doing up first thing on a Saturday morning, shouldn’t they be in bed sleeping off the night before!  Bugger, I thought as we made our way in to the store.

Alex pulled me off towards something that would make my life a whole lot easier next weekend.

Power tools!

Yes, I was to get my very own…now don’t faint when I tell you…and don’t get jealous…

…a Black & Decker Mouse!

If you aren’t familiar with what this looks like here it is, it’s a hand held power sander.

Aren’t I a lucky girl when what I really wanted was one of those at the top of this post.  I suppose it’s not ever day that a girl gets given there very own mini sander instead of a Cone.

Am I the only girly who gets given such useful and imaginative gifts or are there others out there.  Do tell…

It Feels Like The First Time

You all know how much Alex and I love to experiment with anal play on him.  We have graduated from fingering his tight little hole to using butt plugs to stimulate his prostate.  With some very sexually satisfying moments for both of us.

I love to watch him take a butt plug up inside his ass inch by inch until it hits the hilt and locks in to position.  The look on his face at it hits the sweet spot and the hardon he gets when it’s in place deep inside his rectum.

It turns me on seeing him enjoy my anal ministrations on him.  I suppose it makes me feel like I’m in control, instead of being the recipient of his phallus.  Yes, that’s what it is.  A feeling of empowement over your guy.  I know I can give him a blowjob and let him come in my mouth or masturbate him until he comes all over his own stomach but this feels different, to actually enter him instead of giving him external stimulation.  Does that make sense?

Well last night we did something which I have been waiting for months to be able to try.  Thanks to the super people at Barbara Kelly we have been sent a package of toys to review and amongst them was…shall I tell you?…I think I’ll keep you in suspense just a little longer…

a strap-on.  I have always wanted to fuck a girl with one but never had the opportunity.  It intrigued me to know just what it feels like to possess a cock and be able to fuck someone with it.  Now I had my chance, I wanted Alex’s virginal ass.

I removed the Posable Partner strap on from it’s box.  It was a black one with an elastic harness.  The cock itself was very nice to the touch, flexible but stiff enough to penetrate the tightest of pussies or asses.  😉  The rubber compound feels soft to the touch, almost like skin.  The cock is mounted on a hard plastic mount with a soft backing which sits against your groin and to my surprise stays in place during use.

As I attached the straps to the cock I began to feel my heart beat increase and my excitement became apparent by my rapid breathing.  I couldn’t wait to try it on as soon as I had adjusted the straps to fit.

I pulled the harness up over my hips and the cock settled in to place on my pubis.  It felt strange having a cock sticking out from my groin but nice.  😉  I shook my hips and watched in bounce around just like a real one.  Alex laughed and said “You like that don’t you?”  “I love it!”, I replied, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.  Lol

Looking down and taking the cock in my hands I could just imagine how if feels to be a guy and wank off.  I ran my hand up and down the shaft and played with the tip.  I was getting in to this now.

“Do you want to try it?”…

…”Who on?”, I asked.

“Me, who do you think”, came Alex’s reply.


I didn’t want to assume that Alex was ready for this, as we are still in the early stages with anal play.  If anything I thought I would be trying it out and imaging a girl fucking me hard from behind.  Perhaps one day…  😉

That was an offer I couldn’t refuse.  Alex rose up on to his knees and pointed his ass at me.  I opened the bedside drawer and took out the tub of petroleum jelly.  I thought it would be nice and viscous and good preparation for anal entry.  I scooped a good ball of jelly on to my fingers and ran it around the tip of the strap on.

I then ran my fingers down the shaft spreading the jelly all over the cock, I have to admit I got a little carried away and began to wank the cock.  Alex broke me from it’s spell by raising himself on to his knees and pointing his ass at me.

I was now very, very excited and I could feel my juices oozing down my legs.  My heart was racing and I felt slightly light headed, intoxicated by the moment.  The moment I had waited so long for.

Alex’s ass looked so inviting and his balls so full and ready to explode.  I moved in behind him holding the cock in my right hand, just like a guy.  Strange but it felt natural as I pushed the tip against his puckered anus and watched it contract and then open as I pushed gently against it and slipped the tip inside.

This girl felt empowered, sexual, almost animal as she eased the cock inside that tight little ass.  I must have been smiling from ear to ear as I had the moment I had only dreamed about.  Everything had been leading up to this heated, sexually charged moment and I was going to enjoy every moment of it.

Alex gasped as I pushed deeper inside him, taking it slowly, not wanting to force myself on him.  I could see the PJ had collected in a white collar around the cock and realised that we needed more lube to enable me to fuck his ass.

I reached over to the drawer again and with my fingertips just managed to grab hold of the melon flavoured lube in there.  My cock was still buried in Alex’s ass as I retrieved the lube.  I pulled the top off and turned the bottle upside down and in good porn fashion let the lube dribble down his crack and on to my cock.

JESUS! This was making me so aroused.  I poured more lube on to the dick and placed the bottle down.  I resumed my inward thrust and watched as Alex swallowed me up.  “You control it, push against me and take it at your own pace”, I suggested being very tentative about hurting him.  “OK”, came Alex’s reply.

He began to push against my groin and eat more of that rubber dildo, releasing moans of ecstasy as his ass was filled.  With a final thrust from me he took the whole of my length and let out a cry of pleasure as he bowed his head.  It felt so good to know that I was doing this, me…me fucking his ass.

“Fuck me!”, he demanded.  Who was I to disagree?  I pulled away from his ass at the same time extracting the cock, inch by inch and then I carefully pushed it back in again.  I did this several times, watching Alex arch his back with the gripping sensation of anal penetration.  I grabbed hold of his hip with my left hand as I moved slowly in and out of him.  I didn’t think Alex could make such sounds but he was audibly getting off on this.  What am I saying, so was I, my pussy was aching, no begging to be fucked.

I have to admit I felt like ramming hard in and out of him but controlled myself, there would be plenty of time for that.  😉  Alex asked me to pull out of him as he wanted to fuck me and by then I was so aroused despite the fact that I was enjoying fucking his asshole I wanted to feel his cock inside me.

Slowly I withdrew from his colon and watched as his anus shut behind me like a trapdoor.  Alex wasted no time and turned to face me.  His erection was huge and there was a string of clear fluid hanging from the tip of it.  Cum had been dribbling out of him the whole time I was working on his ass.  I took his hardon in my hand and sucked off the residue.

I eased the strap on off over my hips and placed it on the bedside cabinet.

“Alex fuck me hard”…

Night Scented Stock 3 – Clarissa

Clarissa … even the trees knew her name and greeted her when she passed. Their sibilant voices inaudible to human ears as they paid homage to her. She bid them be silent and lay on the grassy bank above the deferent oaks, letting the sun warm her pale skin.

She was at her most mortal in the sunlight, at her most vulnerable. A few hours and the night would envelope the land and allow her power to blossom into the beautiful and terrible flower that it was. For now she was content with the porcelain beauty of her skin, flawless, bewitching. Her sapphire blue eyes wove a magic that men could not resist, her red hair as intense as her petulant nature, challenging them to woo her from the moment she met them. They had been a good choice, maybe in a decade or so she would chose another form.

Her hair spread out on the grass, her face skyward, she closed her eyes. Where her skin touched the emerald blades their essence seeped into her. She felt each slender leaf, cool, lush, seeking out the sun. Deeper down she was submerged, cool earth pressing against her roots, sustaining her …

“Sorry I’m late.” It was Vincent. Poor, innocent Vincent. Young, smooth-skinned, firm bodied and so very succulent Vincent … She felt her canines begin to grow and stopped that train of thought. Later, she promised herself.

Shielding her eyes with one hand she looked at him. As delicious as she remembered him, if a little more awkward in his movements. They walked hand-in-hand to the café and sat at a table overlooking the rose garden.

Clarissa stared at the deep red of the flowers while he spoke to her about this and that, about jobs and parties, about mortgages and holidays. She made encouraging noises, “Hmm” and “Oh yes” at appropriate points but his words were just noise to her, all that she needed to know about him she could see, hear, touch, smell and taste.

Her hand was laid, palm down, on the table, his resting on it. His finger occasionally drew a circle on her wrist, he was so sweet. Sweet indeed to feel the testosterone seep from him into her. It changed her mood, added aggression to her hunger, made the emptiness in her stomach even more palpable. The tip of her tongue played with the sharp point of her upper left canine turning her pleasant smile into a leering sneer. He didn’t notice.

She heard his blood, pumping, gushing, corpuscles racing, jostling, flushed with life. Her chest heaved, that amused her. Clarissa hadn’t needed to breath for months, but she still did, a little sentimental perhaps hanging onto a vestige of life. Of course if she stopped breathing people noticed, not consciously, but they noticed. Humans had lost touch with their instincts, they could often see there was something awry with Clarissa but not quite place their finger on it.

Clarissa on the other hand felt more alive than she had done her whole life. Being dead, or was it undead?, was like being wired into nature itself. It had been overwhelming at first and had almost sent her insane. She’d returned home after feeding at the party that first night and locked herself in her room. Her mother had wanted to call a doctor but Clarissa had screamed at her not to. Her mother relented and two days later, butterfly-like she had emerged from the chrysalis of her bedroom to feed …

“Blah, blah, blah, blah anyway so I said if you think I’m putting my finger in there …” Vincent stopped ” You OK?”

“Oh! Yes fine, er, fancy a walk?” Clarissa was swallowing back saliva, her lip twitched, revolting against being pulled down to cover her now prominent feeding teeth.

“Why not.”

They walked hand-in-hand through the rose garden. Clarissa willing him to catch the back of his hand on a thorn needing to smell his blood. The hunger was driving her wild already a whiff of haemoglobin would have sent her into a frenzy that would not have gone unnoticed by the families and couples at the café. She laughed at the thought of it, the looks on their faces as she tore at his throat … maybe not. An enticingly cruel and macabre train of thought but one likely to involve her in a heap of trouble she didn’t need, both with the humans and the Others.

She waited until they were shielded from prying eyes and ears by a hundred metres of dense forest before pinning Vincent to a tree with a passionate kiss.

“Hmmffghmfgfhhhg” said Vincent. Clarissa released his lips and lifted a finger to his, “Sssshhhh”. She smiled a benevolent smile and tilted her head to one side in an almost innocent way. She stared at him with doleful eyes and a mischievous smile.

“Oh wow.” Breathed Vincent when Clarissa unfastened his trousers and peeled back his underwear to reveal a long, thick penis. She pressed against him, enjoying the feeling of hot veined flesh against her exposed midriff. She could feel he was already wet, rubbing his precum on her stomach as she kissed him again.

“I want to ride you. Lay down.” The words were said slowly, quietly, seductively, with authority. It was an instruction, an order, a command.

He complied. The lust he felt would have compelled him, her tone emphasising both their needs. Clarissa felt a mixture of impish pleasure and the intoxication of a callous power trip when she stood astride his head and displayed her naked, shaven pussy to his upturned face.

He licked his lips in anticipation. Vincent took hold of her ankle then slid up the back of her calf and lower thigh as far as his fingers could reach. One of her own hands strayed to her breasts, slipping inside her wrap-around top. The other explored her pouting, pink pussy, so in need of gratification.

Sexual arousal, she found, kept the hunger pangs at bay for a while. Though when they returned it was with an even more ferocious intensity that obscured her intellect and guile, making her careless. She had almost been caught in the act of feeding on one occasion because of it …

Clarissa slipped to her knees, astride Vincent’s face. She now had both hands free to fondle her breasts and pinch her full, stiff nipples. Vincent’s hands grasped her buttocks, he had strong hands, that excited her, she loved to feel them wandering across the terrain of her skin, discovering, unlocking its secrets.

She moaned with decadent pleasure while he lapped and nibbled at her labia. His attention to her softest and most delectable flesh creating ripples of pleasure from her skin to the very core of her being. He traversed her length and ventured further, the tip of his tongue circling her anus, probing gently. She was genuinely surprised, eyes wide, he’d seemed too conventional to indulge her with anal play, “Oooh Vincent!”

She treated herself to a few minutes more before sliding down his body and coaxing his waiting member inside her.

To be continued …

Image: Tinebra

Touching Baise

I felt the warmth of his hand on the middle of my back and I bent forward, unresisting.  My ribcage was pressing against the cool mahogany and I parted my legs to steady myself on my black patent stilettos.  They dug in to the carpet as I distributed my weight between my legs and my hands which were placed on the top of the cushion rail.

The heat from the lamp above was warming the air around the top of the table contrasting with the cool air rising between my open legs and moist gusset.  My black mid thigh length skirt was stretched to the max and the tops of my stockings were now visible. 

He spat on his hand before slipping it between my pouting pussy lips, running his fingers between my fleshy valley.  Saliva wasn’t really necessary, I was already wet and ready to receive him.  He raised his fingers to my lips and ran them lightly over my bottom lip.  I opened my mouths allowing his fingers to slip inside.  My nostrils were filled with my essence and I ran my tongue around his wet fingers.

I pushed my tongue up against his fingers, sucking my own juices from them.  He removed them and I felt his hardness graze my buttocks as he pushed between my legs with his cock.  He eased my skirt up higher, it had now become nothing more than a black belt.  Fingers slid under my g-string, pulling it over to the side.

His cock pushed deeper between my legs, seeking out my swollen hole.  I could feel his hot breath against my neck, under my white shirt collar.  The hairs on my arms stood up and my nipples pushed up hard against the cups of my bra.  One more push and he was inside me and his groin was up against me, pushing me against the snooker table.

I raised myself on to my elbows as he took his first thrust.  My pussy lips closing behind him like a door.  Then bang…as he pushed straight in to me right up to the hilt.  I swear he just punched my cervix with his hard cock.  And it felt good, I felt full and fulfilled as every inch of him was eaten by my hungry pussy.

My g-spot was being massage by his erection, with each pass of his cock my orgasm grew.  My legs began to tremble and my pussy tingle as he bashed in and out of me like a man possessed.  He was now gripping my hips tightly with his hands and fucking me like a whore.  My pussy began to spasm and I started to come.  “Fuck me hard, fuck me…”, I called out.  He started to groan in to my right ear as he pummelled my ass.

I was so wet now.  Come was running down my inner thigh and his wet balls were beating against me rhythmically.  He was now in the pre orgasm rhythm that men adopt when they are close, nothing can put them off their stride when they are at this stage.  With one almighty thrust and deep throated groan he ejaculated inside me.  I was…

…”Suze, how do you feel about that?”, enquired the voice.

…Errr!  I was now back in the meeting again.  “Can you just run that by me again”, I asked thinking on my toes.

We were in the boardroom at work having our first monthly meeting since I arrived.  It was a long wood panelled room, very much in the traditional boadroom style of years ago.  At the far end from the mahogany table stood the snooker table complete with scoreboard and cues.  Unusual for a company to have it’s own snooker table and it fired my imagination during the meeting and enlivened it.

It does raise the question, “why is snooker table sex so popular at the moment?”.  We recently purchased a DVD from our sex store with some FFM action on a table.  It also features quite heavily in the adult galleries too.

So, just what is the attraction of sex on a snooker table?  I mean, it can’t be comfy fucking on a slate table covered in baise, can it?  Then you have to be careful not to damage the baise with either your shoes or cum.  I would say that it is a totally impractical piece of equipment what do you think?

Mantric Dinky Banger Review

The kind people at Barbara Kelly asked us to review the Mantric Dinky Banger cock ring recently. In all honesty I wasn’t looking forward to it. I’ve had three cock rings before, if you include the cock and ball set I have, and apart from the cock and ball ring set they’ve been less than impressive.

One was just an adjustable cock ring, which didn’t adjust too well and the other was made of plastic that was just a little too hard and far too small for my cock. Now OK I have a fair sized penis, but I’m not John Holmes so to me that was just bloody bad design.

Anyway back to the Mantric Dinky Banger. The first thing I tend to do when we unpack a toy for review is check the bullet or vibrating element of the product for frequency and amplitude of vibration, i.e. how fast and how hard 🙂 The bullet in the Dinky Banger is very powerful for its small size and quite high frequency. Good start. It takes three button cells, that are supplied with the product, already fitted but isolated with a plastic tab that you remove before use.

The ring itself is of a silicone style plastic, with the texture of slightly sticky jelly, much like Suzanne’s jelly vibrator. Because of this slight stickiness I lightly lubed the ring before inserting the bullet and pushing the ring over my cock. This aided the insertion of the bullet into its pocket below the ring and made sure it didn’t pinch the skin on my cock.

The plastic is so soft that I didn’t experience any of the awkwardness of the other cock rings that I’ve used when putting it on. Nor did it pinch or become uncomfortable during use. The hole in the ring expands from the size of a pencil to a diameter which allows me to pass my hand through it and wear it as a bracelet, LOL, which I think accommodates all sizes of appendage.

One side of the bullet pocket is textured with domed protrusions, the other with rectangular ones. The plastic is so soft that it made no difference to the sensation for Suze or myself which way round these were worn. The rest of the surface of the ring is covered in 3mm long “spikes”, but being made of such lovely soft plastic they aren’t very spiky. They do add to the look and texture of the Dinky Banger when in use.

And so to use. As I said I lubed up the DB first, this avoided any rubbing/pinching and had it resting on my balls in seconds. Suze was eager to have a play with it, yes the DB and my cock, so I lay back and let her get on with it.

She found that in common with most cock vibes when just resting on my balls I experience a tingling sensation (which with my synaesthesia feels like little golden stars in blue plasma, like throwing iron filings through the flame of a Bunsen burner). Because of the effectiveness of the bullet in this product this was the most intense stimulation I have experienced from a cock vibe to date.

Pulling my now turgid cock down so the vibe was resting on the bullet, sandwiching it between cock and balls the sensation was of a deep vibration throught my genitals. Very pleasurable and very naughty.

Suze watched me, laying back with a silly grin on my face, and toyed with my cock until I was hard. She leant forward from her kneeling position and took the tip of my erect member in her mouth. As you can imagine this was purely for the purposes of the review. Alas, no vibrations were transmitted into her mouth, now that would have been naughty.

The next step was obvious and eagerly taken by both of us. We had decided that doggy would be best, with the bullet hanging against my balls and against Suze’s clit when I was fully inside her. Her excitement at the thought of trying out a new toy meant I was able to slip straight into her and make her gasp, both from the depth of my penetration(I was very “pleased” by the sensations I was receiving from the Dinky Banger) and from the thrill she got when the bullet touched her clit.

It’s funny but wearing the DB made me change my technique, instead of my usual repertoire of thrusts and gyrations. I wanted to grind against Suze more than I would usually because I knew that this pressed the bullet against her clitoris and was giving her a great deal of pleasure.

Suze pushed back against me as I pushed forward, but always let me withdraw. I think it was the knowledge that the next collision of my groin and hers would be all the more pleasurable if the stimulation was allowed to abate for just a moment. Her orgasms (no I don’t know how many) bore witness to the success of this cooperation between us.

When I came, not long after we started but with us both buzzing in all sorts of ways I buried my crotch into hers and ground for all I was worth. Fan-bloody-tastic.

In summary; Because of the soft nature of the plastic the Dinky Banger is wonderfully comfortable but will not assist you in maintaining an erection. If you’re after that sort of boost look somewhere else. However I’m not sure that with the tingling stimulation of the bullet on your balls and you partner grinding her pelvis on your groin you’ll have too much trouble with erections or a very happy finish 😉 This may become one of my favourite bedroom buddies.

Tags: Dinky Banger,Barbara Kelly,sex toy review,clitoral stimulator,cock ring,synaesthesia,synesthesia

Fucking Embarrassing

See on your left Exhibit A, a picture of an air hostess looking rather hot. Yes I know it’s Britney “Trailer Trash” Spears, but the Toxic video is a work of genius in the world of shallow titillation. The song, by Cathy Dennis, is pretty damn great too. I’d give Britney’s Toxic a big thumbs up in so far as its pedigree as a piece of pop music/video.

So what am I embarrassed about?


Never heard of them? Well sadly I’m going to introduce you to them. See this Wikipedia article and this website for the gory details.

This year England is going to be embarrassed abroad by Scooch at The Eurovision Song Contest. This is the same contest that brought us Abba and therefore one of my greatest early wank fantasies Frida (Anni-Frida Lyngstad).  So I’m not knocking the contest, the acts it used to produce, or videos containing sexy ladies in uniform. It’s the fact that while I’m sure Scooch are very lovely people the song is utter crap.

It would be redeemed if it were a great pop song, like say YMCA, which is a great piece of fun. Or if it was seriously shallow rock like “The Final Countdown” by Europe, great for parties but not much else. “Flying the Flag” is none of these and makes me want to cringe. It would make me wince if they were representing another country, but they’re representing the UK. And that makes me want to emigrate to the antipodes.

So what is Scooch’s hook if it’s not the appeal of bubblegum pop? Maybe it’s these lyrics from the song:

“Would you like something to suck on for landing sir?”

“Some salted nuts sir?”

Then there’s the one about blowing up your life jacket …

…desperate isn’t it.

Ah well, back to staring at Frida on the Abba “Arrival” album sleeve …

Tags: Britney Spears,Toxic,Cathy Dennis,Scooch,Eurovision,Eurovision Song Contest,Abba,Anni-Frida Lyngstad,Frida Lyngstad,bubblegum pop,Europe,Final Countdown,The Final Countdown