Monthly Archives: May 2007

Storm Clouds

The clouds outside seem to tear at the hills across the valley. They look like a shredded bundle of dark grey linen hanging above the moors. Water vapour condensing in the tempestuous rising air forming streamers like contorted flaxen fibres, beautiful and yet terrible in that beauty. There’s a storm being born, it may break here or further east. That is something that a mere human can’t predict or influence. Some things are outside your control and it’s often the best way. To take responsibility for, to manipulate any part of nature is something that we as a species presume to do too lightly.

I just made myself something eat. Just me, myself and I. Suze is out with the girls again, twice in under two weeks. It makes me smile to imagine her back in the real world again after the unemployment imposed imprisonment. I lay the table for two, then put half of it away. I make two cups of tea, then pour hers down the sink. I start to shout for her to come and see an interesting article on the news.

But she’s not there.

It’s like my life is on hold for the moment because I’m only half here.

And I feel like this when she’s away for a few hours? Imagine if we were apart for a day, a week … forever? It doesn’t bear thinking about.

She’ll be back soon. The clouds are breaking and she’ll be returning to a glorious sunset now those clouds have rolled past.

I think I might be in love 🙂

Paris Hilton

[she]provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives“. From the BBC’s News Website 09/05/07.

Paris Hilton is a person who both astonishes and amuses me. She stands astride the trashy gossip rags of the world like a spindly colossus. Or more accurately like a wishbone from a calcium deprived turkey. More fat on a butcher’s pencil as my grandfather used to say.

She is the epitome of famous for being famous, has no discernable talent and should really stick to spending her money quietly. Sadly this does not seem to be an option. The woman lives detached from reality for most of her life, her recent statement that she didn’t realise she had a driving ban because “I sign whatever my people tell me to sign”, in relation to the court papers, underlines this.

Sorry Paris the law applies to you too, not just real people.

Then there’s her brand, yes brand. For those sane people amongst you who do not follow her it may come as a surprise that she’s tried to trademark her name, a logo and her catch phrase “That’s Hot”. Personally I thought France had half of her name sewn up, having their capital named after it. Though the lone star state may also have a claim which predates the pouting blonde numbskull. As for the logo, fair enough, if your going to brand yourself pick an appropriate logo. In Paris’ case a Barbi-style tiara, how sophisticated.

Finally the “catch phrase”, the depth and intelligence of that two-word piece of creative genius astounds me, Ok three words if you count “that’s” as 2. But will this mean that you’d have to warn people about to quaff a freshly made coffee by saying “Careful, that’s hot! Trademark Paris Hilton “. Would she demand royalties?

Turning yourself into a brand, isn’t that the ultimate in shallowness? Or is it a search for affirmation through commercial success.

What kicked off this diatribe? Well this story from the BBC news website today. Ms Hilton, drink driving is in my humble opinion assault with a deadly weapon. Being able to pout and create dull , bad quality sex videos does not mean you can plough through crowds of innocent pedestrians on your way to find a midnight snack. If you want food, order a home delivery, if you can work out how to dial the KFC without a butler.

And on the subject of KFC, they’re attempting to sue this pub, the Tan Hill Inn, because they have an item on the menu called a “Family Feast”. Successful as the pub may be I don’t think it’s a direct threat to the Kentucky chicken slaughterers multi-national operation and its squillion dollar profits. Do you?

Tags: Paris Hilton,trademarks,Tan Hill Inn, KFC,Kentucky Fried Chicken,Family Feast

Mail Order Brides

There’s a trend in this country, amongst a certain type of man, of a certain age, to seek out companionship in a certain way. A tiny number of women do it too but from what I have seen they form a tiny minority of the individuals involved in this activity.

I’m talking about Mail Order Brides. I’m not talking here about relationships that span cultures, nationalities or race, they are to be embraced. My best friend at Junior School was half Cambodian, his mother had been displaced while east and west fought ideological wars by proxy in the region in the 1960s.

I’m talking about middle aged to retirement aged men who have a bit of money in the bank and too much brash jewellery about their person. They tend to drive cars that are loud, both in terms of volume and styling. They have probably been married before and now as their hair lightens and thins, and the rest of their body heads south they seek to rejuvenate themselves, at least in their own eyes, and I suppose the eyes of their peers, by marrying a younger woman. The women tend to be from the Asia-Pacific region, though eastern Europe is now becoming a source of potential mates.

Again, this in itself is not a problem. If true feeling exists between two people involved in a relationship then age is pretty much irrelevant. There are certain practical issues whereby the life expectancy of one partner is way outside that of the other but then again who knows when our number is up? Fate could snatch us away at any time and it’s the time we spend together not the time we spend apart in a relationship that should matter.

I mean I’m guessing here at the motivation I suppose, because the whole idea of literally importing a human being from thousands of miles away from a country whose culture is different and language is alien is anathema to me. It smacks of human trafficking or even slave trading. No I’m not saying the women are treated like slaves or abused.

The argument in favour seems to be that the women (and they tend to be quite young women from the ones I’ve encountered) are willing participants in the trade. They send money back to their extended family and therefore gain from the deal. There it is you see, deal. It’s a commercial transaction not a relationship. While I can see that an impoverished family would benefit from the arrangement it’s based around a financial transaction. Do we regard this as an extended dowry? Is the girl a long-term-hire escort? Or is it a form of permanent prostitution.

I suppose after a time, when the females involved have learned English (while there is a range of language skills many have only the rudiments of English) and got to know the men they have committed to they may fall in love. That’s great, but being isolated by a language barrier and forced to rely on their new husband for communication and support means they are bound to stay with that man. Maybe they don’t feel like this but to me it looks like a prison of circumstance created by the arrangement they have chosen to become involved in.

I’d like to think, for the sake of the women involved that they are content, or as content as they have been conditioned to believe they can be. I just can’t see it though, am I too traditional in my attitude towards relationships? Apparently so. While writing this piece I found a US law firm which specialises in advising US citizens on obtaining a visa for their new bride, the senior partner is pictured on the website’s front page with a beautiful Thai woman in a western style wedding dress hanging off his arm.

A Power Lunch!

Well the weather has held out for the most part over here in the UK.  We are in the grip of summer and it’s only May.  There were just a couple of defaulting days towards the weekend but for the most part it’s t-shirts and short skirts all the way.

And that is exactly what I wore for work last week.  Thankfully we can dress smart but casual for work.  Which is a good thing as the offices don’t have air con.  🙁  Suze went to work in a short navy cotton skirt with roses on it and a short sleeved white blouse on Wednesday.  Who shouted out, “And what were you wearing underneath?”  Lol

For your information naughty, I had a black cotton thong and a white cotton plunge bra on.  I know they didn’t match but who cares!  Nipples looks so nice through a white cotton bra.  😉  Even though I was wearing the minimal amount of clothing to remain decent but cool, my bum was still sticking to my chair for most of the day.

One of the girls I work with wore a white calico suit and no panties.  How did I know…because you could see the seam up the back of her trousers but no VPL.  For the uninitiated, VPL stands for visible panty line.  Don’t you just love summer and all those semi-clad guys, and females for that matter.

I didn’t tell Alex but on Wednesday the warmest day of the week, I took a little something extra with me to work.  Not only have I been hot in the physical sense this week but also in the libido department too.  😉  I don’t know if I am at the “horny” part of my cycle but I haven’t been able to get enough sex all week.

So, on Wednesday I took along my Cherry Nibbler…just in case I should need some sexual relief.  Lol. I put it in the glove box for safe keeping and out of the sight of prying eyes.  Which was a good job because I had to open up my bag in front of one of the girls I work with in the morning to get to my purse to pay some sponsorship money I owed her.  A wry smile played upon my lips as I thought what she could be seeing, instead of a packet of tissues, a mobile phone and my purse.  😀

Lunch finally came round and I drove to the local supermarket to buy a sandwich as I normally do.  After passing through the till and making my way to the car I realised that the far corner of the car park was empty, shoppers preferring not to walk all the way across the car park to shop on such a hot day.  “Perfect”, I thought.

I placed my sandwiches and drink on the passenger seat of the car and started my engine.  When I reached the farthest corner, between two high, densely planted embankments I parked up and turned off the engine, leaving the radio on for company.

I thought about taking the Nibbler out of the glove box and rubbing one out there and then I felt so horny but I refrained and reached for my dinner.  All the way through lunch I observed the passing vehicles and shoppers in my rear view mirror, not one ventured over to my end of the car park.  🙂

Sandwiches finished, I was now ready for dessert and still 40 minutes of lunchtime to go.  I reached over to the glove box and pressed the button.  The Nibbler was calling out to me.  “Use me, you know you want to”.  I took it out and closed the glove box.

I eased my ass of the car seat and pulled my skirt up to level with my hips, it felt good to get some air around my hot little pussy.  With my left hand I pulled the gusset of my panties to one side and was pleasantly surprised at just how wet I already was.  Great thing the mind.  😉  I pushed the button and lowered my right hand between my legs.

No lube required, I placed the vibe on my clit and pushed my back in to the seat, tilting my pelvis aiding my ministrations.  I was overcome with the urge to shut my eyes and just let it happen but still felt slightly conscious of my surroundings and the possibility of being discovered bringing myself off in a supermarket carpark.  Now that would make good headlines and the trolley boy happy.  🙂

I must admit after a few minutes of keeping one eye open for voyeurs I couldn’t resist being seduced by this wonderful vibe and the promise of an earth shattering orgasm.  My guard dropped and I let myself be taken.

I clicked the button again and wow!  My pelvis was vibrating with the intensity of the vibe upon my swollen clit.  I moved it around from side to side and up and down.  Still no need for lube, I was soaking wet and could now feel my juices running down between my buttocks.  My temperature was starting to rise and my clit was swelling with the stimulation.

I pressed the button on the door, lowering the window a little more but not too much as I was now getting close and I didn’t think I would be able to come quietly.  I usually don’t.  My hips started to gyrate in time with my movements and I clenched my buttocks together as I felt the orgasm build within me.

My whole body began to shiver and quake and I moaned out load as I came.  This time I’m not sure what happened but the whole of my hand and thighs were covered in ejaculate.  I can only assume that I squirted as Shay puts it.  😉  At the time I really didn’t give a shit, I was too far gone to care.

But after I came down, I discovered that I had not only wet my hand but the seat and my panties, they were drenched.  I reached over to the passenger footwell and picked up the carrier bag I had bought the sandwiches in and placed it under my buttocks on the car seat.  I then pulled my wet panties over my swollen pussy and my skirt down to cover my indiscretion.

I placed the vibe back in the glove box and started the engine to return to work.  Still 8 minutes of lunchtime to go.  I pulled in to works car park, parked in my usual place and then headed for the front door but instead of returning to my office I went to the ladies loo.

Once in the only toilet cubicle, yes there is only one toilet and one hand basin…I removed my cum soaked panties.  “What the hell was I going to do?  I couldn’t just sit in them for the rest of the day.  The heat would make me start to smell of sex and give me away for the randy girl I am”.  No, I had to wash them.  OMG, have you ever taken a risk like this at work?  The toilet comprises of just the toilet, handbasin and a wall mirror, compact and bijou.  And I was stood in the entrance to the toilet washing my panties.

I hurriedly squeezed the toilet soap on to them and turned on the tap, listening for the door opening as I did so.  Frantically washing away my scent under the running tap.  I kept looking over my left shoulder for interlopers.  Phew!  I managed to get away with the wash, now comes the dry.

Luckily we have a hand drier in the toilet.  I pushed the button and instead of rubbing my hands under the hot air I was rubbing my panties.  Still keeping one eye over my shoulder should anyone enter.  My plan was to casually push them down my bra through my unbuttoned shirt.

I managed to dry most of the moisture out of them before my bravery ran out, then I quickly ran in to the toilet and pulled them back on again.  It probably occurred to you as it did me, why didn’t I just put them in my bag and go commando.  Well, the simple answer to that is, my job involves me moving between all four floors of the building and the stairs are open tread…enough said!  😉

 

Belong-ing

We’ll be adding a couple of new features to “Belong” over the next couple of weeks so if you’re not already a member, join now and make sure you don’t miss out.

What are the new features? All will be revealed shortly, Belong members will be informed by email as soon as they’re ready.

 TTFN, busy, busy busy 😛

Referrals From The Most Unusual Places

We’ve had some referrals on our stats from very weird places, the Vatican for one, though there have been others. Most are oddities and we have to put them down to the vagaries of HTTP. However sometimes you get one that intrigues you.

How about this for an oddball referrer, http://www.microsoft.com/vista

We thought it was a bit odd so we searched the Microsoft site and look what we found.

 

PS, The referals (all 25 of them) do actually appear on our stats. If anyone else has had any referrals from “Microsoft” we’d be interested to hear.

Down and Not Going Out

I knew I wanted to write something tonight, but I wasn’t sure what to write about. You’d have thought that wasn’t a big ask, but I’m a little out of sorts. Suze has gone out with the girls from work, one of them has a birthday, so I’m in on my own. It’s the first girly night out she’s had in ages and, it has just occurred to me, the first night we’ve been apart in a long time. Boring maybe, but you get used to someone being around especially when we’re as close as we are. She should be back in a couple of hours, but even knowing that the place seems rather empty without her around.

So to keep me occupied I thought … as we always write about adult subjects, and for the most part sex, it occurred to me that I should write about aversions to sex.

We’re pretty open in real life about sex, in the right company of course, but not as open as online 🙂 So writing about the opposite, an actual aversion to/fear of sex, is virgin territory and therefore should be rich in new ideas and trains of thought.

If you Google a few terms you come to the key word coitophobia. Apologies to everyone who hates compound Latin/Greek words, but I didn’t create this term. As I searched through the first few results on Google against the word I came to the conclusion that whoever did simply created another word with little meaning outside the realms of self-help products and catch-all online medical diagnosis sites.

Quite honestly I got disheartened and gave up. The thought of trawling through site after site with virtually the same bland and ultimately pointless descriptions of the condition in the hope of finding a valid and well researched paper got me down. I must be winding down to the weekend early as I’m not usually that easily put off. I found no insight or explanation of any aspects of the condition other than generic phrases that could have described any other phobia. Perhaps I’m expecting too much or I’m in the wrong frame of mind.

Anyway, I suppose the point of this, if there is one, is that the Internet is a wonderful thing, but it’s all too easy to create content by copying it from someone else just to get people to visit your ad-laden site of little or no intrinsic merit. I think I’m on a downer here LOL.

While I’m getting pissed off at sites for not being intelligent and creative I ought to say that I think what really got me was that the people likely to search for terms such as this are looking for help. They are not looking to buy self-help books. Or maybe they are? I suppose the thought of buying the answer to any problem that you have and regard as delicate over the Internet does have a certain comfortable feel to it. The anonymity, the relief at not having to discuss it with your partner, a friend or your family doctor.

It’s a pity then that the sites I read were either just after the Google rank/your clicks for their advertisements, or wanted to sell you a product. Am I naïve? Or does everyone have days when they look at the Internet and think “This could be so much more”?

There are many, many adult bloggers out there producing great content, which is then scraped by idiots onto their own collection of blogs just to get traffic for adverts and scams. And that ticks me off too, bloody lazy, mindless and unimaginative. I’m not talking about online magazine/news sites, but automated RSS consumers that republish without an author’s permission or knowledge. Site’s whose owners have enought technical knowledge to steal, but not enough intelligence to create anything original.

And I was in such a good mood when I got home from work 😀

About Time Too …

What with one thing and another it’s taken far too long to respond to your questions from our podcast. I’ve posted the first answer on  You Tube for you all. Our broadband is playing up so this took ages to upload. I’ll try to get the rest up tomorrow 🙂