Monthly Archives: November 2007

Open Wide

AlexSuze.comToday my post is about duck bondage…only joking.

No, I haven’t had a visit to the dentists this morning. Try again…

Got no idea?

I’ve been to the doctors for my cervical smear test. Over here in the UK we have them every 3 years. And we all hate having them don’t we girls?

So in preparation for the event I bathed and made sure everything was smelling of roses just before I left. As I drove to the doctors I had a sudden thought. What if I am still full of cum from last night? After all Alex and I fucked twice before falling asleep. Would I still be full of his ejaculate.

I know if is a strange thing to think about but I couldn’t stop wondering if she would collect a great dollop of cum on the end of her speculum. Lol I cancelled out the thought with the fact that I had soaked in the bath before leaving and that would have cleaned me out.

“But just how far did the water penetrate me?” I was starting to become paranoid about this and laughed to myself at how silly I was being.

The waiting room was full of coughing people full of germs and I did my best to avoid them, sitting in the far corner away from most of them. Honestly, you can go in to the doctors for one complaint and come out with something completely new.

“Would the nurse be able to tell I had a good seeing to last night?”

Then the intercom invited me to go to the nurse’s room and I, for some strange reason, began to get a little nervous about the procedure. I told myself I was being silly and I had been through this several times before. And I write a bloody sex blog for heavens sake. 🙂

I then began to panic that if I was tense and nervous she probably wouldn’t be able to get the speculum inside me. Guys you really don’t know what we girls go through when we have to have a smear test.

At this point I would like to say the nurse was lovely and put me completely at my ease…But no she didn’t, her bedside manner was somewhat lacking and I felt like I was on a production line.

The good part about all of this was that at least she had warmed the speculum sufficiently for it not to make me shiver as she pushed it inside my opening. After a bit of jiggery-pokery she got the sample she was after and then disappeared behind the curtain to let me dress.

She forgot just one thing, the tissue you are normally handed to clean off the KY Jelly they use for lubrication. So, I’m stood there looking around for something to wipe my fanny on. Thoughts went through my head…shall I use the curtain she has jus pulled round?…how about I just pull up my pants and hope for the best. In the end I spotted a box of Kleenex on the desk next to me.

I was almost tempted to wipe and leave it on her bloody desk. Lol

Tags: cervical smear, smear test, bedside manner, medical fetish, KY Jelly

Strange Thought 2 – Any Old Vibes, Any, Any, Any Old Vibes

AlexSuze.comAs you can imagine I’m building up…correction we are building up quite a collection of sex toys and adult products. The number locked suitcase under the bed is jam packed full of paraphernalia to the extent that you have to sit on it to close it now, just like a holiday case. Only more fun! 🙂

So tonight we decided as it’s coming up to Christmas and things may get a little busy around the AlexSuze household. With all those gift ideas to cover and our new toy partners we decided to clear out some of the old toys at the bottom of the case. The ones we purchased before the creation of AlexSuze Sex Toy Reviews.

And wow! It was like taking a step back in time. Some of those toys look so crude at the side of the new design and functionality of the latest techno toys. We removed batteries and gathered together a selection of well used, had-their-day toys to throw away.

Now, this created a dilemma. Should we simply bag them up and throw them in to the dustbin for collection by the council refuse collectors? Or is there a way to donate them to the needy? Lol

In the UK, I don’t know if it happens in other countries, some of the refuse is sorted by hand. I can just imagine someone happening across one of my old vibrators and deciding to take it home for his wife or girlfriend as a present. Or even a Christmas gift. Lol

Again, it would be a very green idea but not one I’ll spend much time contemplating on the grounds that I now feel a little queezy. I have on the odd occasion borrowed underwear from a girlfriend but never sex toys.

Important: Sex toy hygiene is extremely important. Toys should be cleaned immediately before and after use. Sharing toys can cause transmission of STIs and that’s the last sort of gift you want to give. So in all seriousness, be careful.

Tags: sex toys, adult toys, sex toy hygiene, adult toy hygiene, STI, sexually transmitted infections, disposal of sex toys

Right Hand Strain

AlexSuze.comI woke up this morning and my right hand is killing me. No, I haven’t been pleasuing myself. We were out in the garden yesterday, putting it to bed for the winter and I was doing pruning. A lot of pruning.

So I have a blister on my thumb and last night my hand ached. This morning it’s seized up and feels like someone’s got it in a vice and is slowly tightening it.

That would be bad enough, but in light of the job I have planned this could be a bit of a problem.

What job? You’ll have to wait and see, or if you would like to join Belong we’ll be announcing what Suze and I are up to later on today.

That’s if I can manage to type the bulletin into the email.


PS If you want something a bit naughtier click here and peruse the rest of the blog.


AlexSuze.comI was on the road yesterday, navigating one of our more congested stretches of motorway. After crawling for fifteen miles behind a Polish HGV and now knowing its address in Gdansk by heart I thought it would be a good idea to take a rest at the motorway services before I fell asleep from sheer boredom.

I can’t visit a motorway service station now without thinking of the Peter Kay show “The Services“. If you’re from the UK you’ll know who I mean if not then the names and those of his other hits “Phoenix nights” and “Max and Paddy’s Road To Nowhere” may be unfamiliar. Follow the links.

Parked up, bought a coffee and opened a trade magazine I had with me to read. Yes I’m that dull, LOL.

Then I got distracted.

She was sitting about six or seven metres away from me. Looking over my magazine I was facing her, but because of the layout of the café she was in profile to me. She was drinking a black coffee and eating a pain au choclat. She was probably in her late forties, shoulder-length brown hair and wearing a casual, fur-lined jacket and jeans.

She was alone.

I got distracted because of the way she ate her chocolate laced pastry, carefully, from one end, savouring every mouthful. Whenever chocolate spilled onto her fingertips she would begin to lick it off, slowly, with a long and agile tongue then draw the chocolate finger into her mouth. I could see her cheeks dimple as she sucked and withdrew the finger again.

She finished and left several minutes before I did. Which was handy as it gave my, erm, appreciation of her antics time to subside before I stood up.

Tags: voyeurism, Peter Kay, Phoenix Nights, The Services, Max and Paddy

Strange Thought 1 – Second Hand Toys For Sale

AlexSuze.comI may be alone in this but I quite often find my mind drifting off in to fantasy situations most of which are quite humorous. This often leads to me breaking out in laughter and Alex giving me a rather bemused look.

Today was another of those moments we were driving to the local supermarket to replenish the red wine supplies for the weekend amongst other things. As we rounded a left turn I noticed a familiar local site, the scouts had placed an advertising board at the side of the road. It was strapped around a lamppost and read…

Jumble required for Christmas Sale…

I’ve never been one to follow fashion and therefore where my clothes until they are ready to drop off me. If you buy classic lines they never seem to date. Therefore I don’t dispose of many of my old outfits via the numerous collection bags which are pushed through the letter box. I now have so many of the bloody things that I have started to take them in to work to empty the shredder. Lol You can’t use them effectively as bin liners because they are usually perforated.

Where was I! Oh yes, we were on the way to the supermarket when I saw the sign and immediately thought what I could possibly put in the little scouts sack. 😉 Then it came to me, an epiphany …

…why not fill his bag with used sex toys. After all I now have a huge collection and I’m sure there are some needy guys and girls who would benefit from my donation. This is beginning to sound steeped in innuendo isn’t it? That’s not like me at all is it now. 🙂

Can you just imagine the faces of the Brown Owl and Arkala when the scout turns his collection out on to the tressle table and lots of battery operated goods cover it. Lol It would be one of the best jumble sales we have had locally in a long while. It could even be the highest fund raiser yet.

And what a green idea. Do you think I should suggest this to them?

Late update…I think I may have to turn this in to a series of posts because I am always have strange sex related thoughts. Lol

Important: Sex toy hygiene is extremely important. Toys should be cleaned immediately before and after use. Sharing toys can cause transmission of STIs and that’s the last sort of gift you want to give. So in all seriousness, be careful.

Tags: sex toys, adult toys, sex toy hygiene, adult toy hygiene, STI, sexually transmitted infections, disposal of sex toys

Watching The Babysitter

AlexSuze.comWhen I was about 10 years old we lived next door to a family that we all got along with. They had a son of my own age and his younger brother. I think he was about 5 at the time. I used to spend hours of my time in the company of the older boy, who I’ll call Mike for the purpose of this story.

He was a tall thin, rather athletic blonde guy. Not typically my type, if I had one at that early stage of my life. I seem to remember he irritated the hell out of me with his keen interest in football. It seemed that I came second to the “beautiful game”. Even at that tender age it’s annoying when you want to kiss and cuddle and the guy just wants to watch football on television.

I was a little like a footballer’s wife. LOL. It got to the point where I even played football with the lads just so that I could see more of him. Ah, I hear you say. I remember being quite randy even at that age. Although we did no more than let each other have a look and the odd grope.

He had a keen interest in my pussy but I wanted him to play with my immature buds. Although small with inverted nipples my tiny breasts liked attention. We spent many a summer’s day investigating one another but although sexual in nature these events were very innocent. If that isn’t an oxymoron. Perhaps due to the lack of knowledge and understanding of my own sexuality.

I recall I used to have periods of feeling randy but not quite able to do much about it. Yes, I knew the ultimate pleasure was to have a hard cock inside me. I’d had the talk and there was no mention of birds and bees or trains and tunnels. Mine was complete with full anatomical terminology. So, no room for confusion.

Anyway back to the story. Our parents would go out together at the weekend and leave us some money to buy our tea from, you guessed it, the chip shop. Being kids we more often than not didn’t visit the chip shop at all. All of us possessed a sweet tooth. So we would go to the local store and spend all our money on sweets, cakes and anything that took our eye.

In actual fact this was a good math lesson for us, as we picked up the tasty treats we would work out how much we had left to put towards the next goodie. It’s strange we would do this nearly every week but the local shop keeper never spilled the beans about our unhealthy purchases. Maybe he had shares in the local dentist’s practice. LOL.

We would get back just before the minder arrived and hide our stash. The minder who I will refer to as Penny was always late showing up. She was a little bossy but we didn’t get to see much of her (you’ll find out way later. Don’t be so impatient. 🙂 ) so we didn’t mind. As kids by comparison to today’s youngsters we were pretty well behaved and quite mature in attitude.

Penny made herself a coffee, then came the predictable knock on the door. She opened the door to see her latest screw stood on the doorstep. This particular “guest” stood out, for once he wasn’t rough looking. Most of the guys she courted were quite frankly, minging. This one was tall with brown hair and as I recall nice smiling eyes. She invited him in for a coffee. I can hear you all saying “Yeh, like that’s all he’ll be getting”. Well, you’re right.

No sooner had he got the coffee mug in his hands than Penny was saying “You will be alright If we just go upstairs for a bit?” We were familiar with the routine by now. She would disappear upstairs for most of the evening. Occasional strange sounds making there way downstairs. We didn’t care, it gave us the privacy to eat our “tea” without the risk of discovery.

Unbeknown to us, Penny was renowned for being the local bike. If you are not familiar with this terminology, it means she let anyone ride her. It’s kind of strange how you find things out in later life. I also nearly dropped myself right in it once. I had never met any of Penny’s family but at a party talked at length to her younger sister. I didn’t know at the time, I was just about to say, “yes, I do know her, she’s a right bike”, when a friend pointed out rather hastily that this was her sister Mary. Phew, how close was that?

On this particular Friday, I don’t know why, I decided to creep upstairs and take a look at what they were up to. Probably because for once she had asked a good looking guy round. Whatever the reason, I just wanted to be a voyeur. No, not quite a voyeur, I was curious as to what they were doing although I suspected it may involve sex.

Carefully I climbed the stairs, I knew where all the creaky ones were and avoided them. Both Mike and his brother were occupied eating the rest of our goodies. As I approached the landing I noticed they hadn’t quite closed the door to. I put my eye to the crack in the door and began to scan the room. It was quite gloomy, with just a table lamp for illumination in the corner on a bedside table.

There was enough light to make out the bed, which fortunately was clearly visible through the crack, I just needed a more panoramic view. I gently pushed the door opening the crack just enough to have an unobstructed view. My breath became quite fast and deep with the excitement of what greeted my eyes on the other side of the door. He was kneeling naked except for his t-shirt on the bed and she was laying with her back towards the door completely naked. Her head was moving backwards and forwards in front of his groin. The penny (get it Penny. LOL) then dropped, she was sucking his cock.

Penny was not an unattractive girl, not stunning but about 5′ 6″ and curvaceous with a rather ample bosom. It must have been an arousing image for me, I stood there and felt warm and excited but naughty at the same time. Which probably heightened the whole experience for me. Penny was bobbing her head up and down on his cock, accompanied by his groans and her deep throated hmm’s.

This was my first voyeuristic experience, I knew it was wrong but I liked it. I stood in perfect silence except for my breathing, which I tried hard to control. It was very difficult because I was obviously getting extremely turned on by this sexual act. I had never seen a woman sucking a guy’s cock before. I had yet to discover pornographic mags.

The guy said something to Penny, I couldn’t tell exactly what because Mike and his brother were making too much noise. Then she manoeuvred herself on to all fours, with her ass pointing towards him. I watched as he pushed his big fat hairy cock (he had a thick bush of brown pubes around the base of his cock. I had never seen a hairy one before.) in to Penny’s pussy. She let out a loud moan followed by “Yes”.

He began to slap up against her ass with each stroke and I thought I was going to burst as my heart nearly beat out of my chest. To say I was really getting turned on was an understatement. Just as things were beginning to hot up I nearly got caught in the act too. Mike appeared at the bottom of the stairs and I just managed to catch his attention before he shouted after me.

I reluctantly made my way downstairs and he enquired, “what have you been doing?” Do I tell him or not? What would you have done?

Tags: voyeurism

Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin

Suze’s description of the Earthly Delights Gift Tin is pretty comprehensive and I couldn’t agree more about the relaxing and stimulating effect it had on us both.

Its presentation is faultless and choice of items just right for naughty nights in with your partner. I suppose you’d automatically think of this as a gift for a female partner, rather than a male one, but consider this. When he opens the tin on Christmas morning he may be surprised, but watch his face as the realisation dawns about who is going to be applying the products in the tin to his body … and then what he can get up to applying it to yours.

We also think this product is amazing value for money. All the products are high quality, so a little will go a long way. You can enjoy night after night of sensuality well into the new year, and because each item has been well chosen there’s enough variety so you will not get bored. Although, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get drilled. Sorry couldn’t resist.

So what did it feel like when Suze laid her hands on me?

First of all the feather dusting brush. I never thought I’d be one for feathers, a bit girly perhaps. I was wrong. It’s not as electric as I find the rubber whip can be when it’s dragged gently across my skin, but different, more subtle and very pleasant. I’m smiling here just thinking about it.

The soufflé smelled exquisite. You can imagine eating a bowl full of the stuff, though I wouldn’t advise it. The taste’s a little disappointing after the delicious smell, but that’s no matter as the sensation of licking it from a nipple or having it licked from yours is fantastic.

I think I’m going to run out of superlatives so bear with me.

The Love Oil is very surprising. Anything chocolate flavoured tends to be sickly sweet, both to smell and taste, however the oil smells and tastes spicy and chocolaty. It’s warming to the body and mind, avoiding the overpowering and artificial saccharine-like aroma and taste lower quality products have. Applying it to Suze’s back I found I needed only a small amount to give a soothing, sensual massage without any stickiness.

Suze’s use of the almond massage oil on my back filled the air with the smell of Amoretto and left me drifting in a relaxing yellow sea (not literally, my synaesthesia again, to the rest of the world I was relaxed and goosebumpy).

We found that the best way to appreciate just what these products do to the air around you is to walk out of the room where you’ve been using them for a few minutes and re-enter. It’s like walking into an enveloping blanket of rich, relaxing and sensuous aromas.

If you do decide to give this gift to your partner for Christmas it’s going to make a great change from the usual naughty underwear or adult toy. Then again why not buy all three.

Sensual, Sensory, Stimulation – Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin

From the moment I opened the beautifully decorated tin my senses were bombarded with exotic aromas filled with promise. The Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin, which really should be “Beautiful Tin” makes for an ideal present for the lady in your life and don’t think this will just be for her, I’m sure she will want to share the wonders contained within.

Alex and I rarely get time to languish in erotic foreplay, we are tired like most couples when we get home from work and want to just get jiggy with it most of the time. So when Bedtime Heaven sent this out for us to test drive I welcomed the change, it meant that we would be spending some quality time just enjoying the sensual massage and play it encourages. And yes it does encourage intimacy and playfulness. 😉

The tin contains:

Original Oil of Love
Stimulating Pleasure Balm
Sweet Almond Massage Oil
French Vanilla Creme Body Souffle
Sweet Honeysuckle Honey Dust
And last but not at all least a lovely little feather applicator

This gift set really encourages you to get down and dirty and best of all you can actually lick and kiss any of the products from your partner as they contain natural ingredients. 😉 Although I must stress that you should stay well clear of the Almond Massage Oil if you are in any way allergic to nuts.

I volunteered myself to try out the delightful preparations first. You know what I’m like, go for it and enjoy! I rolled over on to my stomach. We were of course both naked, having turned up the central heating to ensure the bedroom was nice and warm first.

To relax me and much to my surprise, I felt the gentle touch of feathers moving up my calves. They felt slightly tickly but at the same time comforting with their delicate touch. Alex ran them up my legs, over my buttocks travelling up my spine. He gently brushed my body all over with the feather applicator, giving me just a taste of what was to come.

Alex then opened one of the containers, I had no idea which one he had selected, I love surprises. I felt the droplets make contact with my skin, they weren’t cold as the tin had been in the bedroom warming too.

He then began to work the liquid in to my muscles around my shoulders and descending down my vertebra. The oil began to heat and my nostrils were filled with the blend of chocolate, vanilla and cinnamon. Now I’m not a chocoholic but I must admit that I was aroused by the smell. Maybe there is something in this chocolate versus sex thing. Lol

As he massaged the oil in to my flesh I began to feel so relaxed and could feel myself starting to get a little turned on too. The oil started to warm my muscles, it must have been the cinnamon. He worked this in to my back and then asked me to roll over. By now I had my eyes shut and the air in the room was laced with the essence dark chocolate and vanilla.

Another bottle was opened and I felt the tingle and cool sensation envelope my nipples. They immediately responded becoming hard and erect. He was encircling each of my areolas with the Stimulating Pleasure Balm which had a mint aroma and tingled on contact with my skin. I opened my eyes to catch Alex grinning as he watched my nipples engorge as he rolled them around in the minty gel.

He then lowered his mouth on to my nipple and began to lick the minty stimulant whilst staring at me lustfully. I was now so sexually aroused that I could have wrapped my legs around him and fucked but I wanted to savour this valuable time together and enjoy the delights of being reacquainted with each other on an emotional and tactile level.
I lay back on the bed, enjoying his tongue working it’s magic on my nipple and breast. Using a combination of flicks, licks and sucks he managed to bring me so close to orgasm. I had to cross my legs tightly to subdue the arousal. I checked Alex out as he repositioned himself to reach for another product from the tin on the bedside drawers. He was erect, certainly ready to fill me with his cock.

Again I closed my eyes in anticipation of what was to come. I felt the warmth of Alex’s hand between my legs and the application of something to my pussy with his fingers. I lay there feeling the warm caress of a tongue, gliding over my vulva. I squirmed with his lingual attentions. He was lapping away at me like a hungry cat. Groaning as he sucked and licked my pussy in to submission.

By now I was fit to burst. I started to buck my hips in perfect rhythm with his lapping. Then my orgasm gripped me and I shook as he licked me adding to the saliva already coating my swollen pussy. Little did I know that Alex had applied a liberal amount of French Vanilla Crème Body Souffle which he eagerly ate from my pussy.

“Right something for you next”, I suggested. “Can you pass me the Sweet Almond Massage Oil?”.

Alex handed me the bottle, no screw top, a rocker top bottle for ease of application. I squirted a liberal amount of oil over my breasts and demanded that he massage it in. The aroma was overwhelming. Just like marzipan (almond paste), I have loved marzipan since being a child. It was captivating.

I was now immersed in sensory melee of aromas, digital, oral and mental stimulation. Fucking was not an option but next on the agenda.

Using both hands simultaneously, Alex massaged and kneaded the oil in to my breasts as I relaxed. It’s a bit of a fetish of mine but I love to watch Alex roll and mould my breasts, especially when they are glistening coated in oil. 😉

Emotions got the better of me and I called out “Alex, put your cock between my boobs”. I pushed my tits together with both hands and waited. Alex straddled me and pushed his cock between my fleshy mounds. I was still oiled and the smell was amazing. He started to slowly run his cock between the valley of my breasts and I hung on now coated in oil my grip was slightly impaired. But where there is a will there is a way.

“Hmmm”, he moaned, working his cock in and out of my boobs. I pushed them together more firmly, gripping his cock, making the sensation more intense. Watching as his cock retracted and then poked out from between my breasts, time and time again. Head shining and purple with blood flow.

Alex now had his eyes closed and head pushed back nose pointing at the ceiling. He was now fucking hard and deliberate, speed was picking up. And I could tell his orgasm was building. His breaths more rapid and obvious.

Then from out of the blue he gasped, “Agggghhhh” and he came. With each pump he spewed out his seed. My chest was spattered with his semi opaque fluid. Then a globule of cum hit my chin and with a last thrust he groaned and fell on to his side by me.

I’m no expert but I think that he enjoyed that…

And so did I!

Bad Pussy – Part 2

Judith swung her legs out of the taxi, tight, red leather skirt restricting her movements. She stood on the damp curb, adjusting her attire as the car drove off into the rain soaked night. A red painted door beckoned at the top of a flight of stone steps. She knocked twice, and waited. The door was opened by Kimberley. “Hello Kim” said Judith, trembling slightly, both afraid and excited. She paused on the threshold, the next step was a step into the unknown.

“Come in, you’ll catch your death.” Kim almost dragged her through the door.

In the kitchen they chatted over a coffee. Judith admiring the shining hob and newly installed units. It made her own aging excuse for a kitchen look like what it was, a hovel.

“Are you sure you’re OK with this?” Asked Kim. “I mean it’s a lot to ask and I don’t want you to feel obliged to go along with this just because of how long we’ve been friends.”

“I’m always up for a new experience. ” She smiled uncertainly. “And I can’t think of anyone who I’d like to try it with more than you. And Simon.”

Kim reached across the kitchen table and held Judith’s hand. “Thank you”. Judith looked into Kim’s brown eyes and excitement began to overtake her trepidation over what was about to unfold.

They’d been friends all their lives, born in the same street. Same school, same adolescent parties, sometimes the same boyfriends. But not Simon. He’d come from the other end of town. One of the districts were people didn’t find it difficult to meet the rent every week. From the sort of family where Christmas meant pleasant get-togethers, full larders and quality wines, not a bowl of nuts, cheap beer and recriminations.

“Starting without me?” Simon entered the room, drying his hair. Kim withdrew her hand, almost guiltily, making Judith feel slightly uncomfortable for Kim and a little cheated that the intimate moment between them had been interrupted.

Simon kissed Kim on the top of the head, collected his coffee and returned upstairs to change. Kim opened a bottle of wine which they shared while waiting for Simon.

“I never had you down as being so adventurous.” Said Judith.

“It was Simon’s idea. And I’d do anything for him.” Replied Kim, though slightly unconvincingly.

Judith did her best not to look puzzled by the last statement. She’d never doubted that they were a loving couple, that’s why she’d agreed to her friend’s request. But there was an edge to Kim’s voice with an uncomfortable subtext.

Or maybe it was just the wine. Another glass was needed, or two.

By the time Simon returned they were both giggling, doubts forgotten, inhibitions removed. He poured himself a glass of wine, picked up a fresh bottle. “Are you coming upstairs?”, the question was directed at Judith.

Both women stood and followed him, Judith first, then Kim, upstairs to the softly lit bedroom.

“You’re eager!” observed Judith. Simon placed the bottle and glass on the bedside table. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“I thought you’d want to relax a little first.” Said Judith.

“I’m quite relaxed enough now.” He grinned at her, bulge in his jeans obvious.

Both women approached him. The three of them slipping their arms around each other in an animated, amorous trefoil. They attempted a three-way kiss which ended in confusion and tongues wriggling across cheeks. Instead they opted for alternating partners, first each woman in turn grappling with Simon, then the Judith and Kim in the final round or an oral tag match.

They pushed him back onto the bed and removed his clothes, leaving his bulging posing pouch until last. It was slid down his legs to release a dribbling hard cock.

Judith and Kim then “lezzed it up” for Simon while he slowly wanked himself on the bed, pre-cum dribbling onto his stomach. They undressed each other and became completely engrossed in the process. Intensely aroused by the feeling of another female’s hands removing their clothes. Simon ceased to matter to Kim who was lost in Judith’s blue-green eyes.

As Kim slid Judith’s leather skirt over her hips and knelt in front of her she felt the urge to bury her face in Judith’s crotch the red satin of her panties and the smell of her arousal called to her. But this was Simon’s night.

Eventually, after much touching and slow disrobing they stood in front of Simon, only stockings and suspenders not cast onto the floor.

The threesome squirmed and writhed on the bed, Judith and Kim sharing his erection. They both played their parts, sucking, licking, stroking Simon. They both enjoyed it, but their hands seemed to linger more on each other, especially as Simons attention turned away from his wife to Judith.

Kim began to feel like a bystander, a voyeur, and that was not what she had intended. Soon she was relegated to stroking Judith’s hair and kissing her as Simon fucked her deeply on their bed. He came with a satisfaction that Kim remembered from their wedding night.

Simon quickly dozed off, leaving Judith toying with Kim’s long brown hair. “Are you OK?” asked Judith, seeing the tears welling in Kim’s eyes. Kim swallowed back a sob and nodded her head less than truthfully. They both slid off the bed and put on a couple of Kim’s towelling robes from the walk-in closet.

In the kitchen they made their way down another bottle of wine without exchanging a word. They held hands across the kitchen table, Judith gently stroking the back of Kim’s hand with her thumb.

Eventually Kim spoke, “Not what you expected?”


“Well it wasn’t what I expected either. I thought it was about three of us.”

“Me too.” Said Kim, desperation in her voice.

“I really enjoyed when we …” started Judith.

“… So did I. I’ve never felt like that about Simon. About any man.”

Judith drew Kim’s hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. They leant across the table and kissed, a full and loving kiss, no tongues just an exchange of tenderness. Kim’s eyes were drawn to Judith’s breasts, partially revealed as she leant forward. Her hand reach to touch them, but the table meant her hand could not explore.

They both stood, robes opening to reveal two cleavages, two neatly trimmed pudendas. Now they could enjoy the sensation of each other, the touch, the smell, the gentle pressure of flesh on flesh. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, unhurried, fanning their passion for each other slowly, the flame more intense because of it.

Judith slid a hand down to Kim’s crotch and delved between her moist, pouting lips, stroking Kim as she often did herself. She pushed Kim against the units for support, Kim’s legs began to tremble. Gentle wailing moans escaped from Kim’s lips as she began to feel the first orgasm approach.

The golden glowing torrent of bliss melted her. It mingled with the knowledge that Judith shared her desires and expressed them with tenderness and passion. When it took hold the climax shook her every fibre. Judith slipped two fingers inside Kim, feeling her heat. She slid the fingers in and out, becoming drenched in Kim’s passion.

Judith bit her lip with concentration, watching Kim, gauging her responses to the firm fucking her fingers were administering. Judith’s crotch burned with the need for satisfaction, but this was Kim’s time. Her fingers sloshed in Kim’s pussy, hand almost dripping with glistening juices when Kim came again, arms wrapped around Judith for support.

They slept on the sofa that night, in each other’s arms.

Sunshine And Sex

AlexSuze.comToday was the first day I drove into work before the sun had risen. In the gloomy half light I realised how much I am missing the brighter days that will not be returning until into the new year. I’ll be driving home in the dark too.

The weather does affect my mood, though not as much as some. I love the summer, prefer the autumn and spring. Winter around Christmas is great, probably because of the festive connotations, but also I think because it’s a time where you can get snuggled under the covers and get intimate without fear of interruption.

The dimmer light and glow of a fire can do wonders for you love life, fantastic ambience. However we’re currently at that weird time of year. Autumns finished and its colours have faded. Christmas (and the Christmas break) is just over the horizon. It’s a no mans land where the days are grey and I seem to be waiting for something.

In spring and summer you’re filled with energy (sexual and otherwise) because of the long days and sunshine, around the turn of the year the weather in the UK means we’re more prone to clear days, even though they’re shorter and colder. I can look out over the hills and taste the clean cool air, savour it. It makes the juices flow in every sense of the word.

Ah well, in a couple of weeks it’ll be winding down for Christmas mode and then some festive fun.

So is it just me? Is everyone’s mood affected by this particular part of the year, neither here nor there, not one thing or the other?

Tags: sex and weather, sex and seasons

Have Cock Will Travel

AlexSuze.comI was having a browse around the Internet the other day and discovered this novelty. Is novelty the correct term? I’m not sure. Anyway, I digress.

Mr Limpy is available in 4 sizes and two colours. At first I laughed at the thought but then I began to think of the uses for this guy. As well as being a novelty purchase, one which would be fun for a Hen Night I think it may be useful as a propholactic.

If you require a little bit more packaging in the trouser department it would make an ideal insert for the front of your trousers. And being available in 4 sizes, there is bound to be one which fits in to your underwear nicely. 😉

It could also be used like a stress ball, instead of squeezing it you could slide your hand up and down it’s shaft. Oooh, you can tell I have given this far too much thought. Lol

I didn’t realise until I looked at some of the images on the site that this dick stretches much like Stretch Armstrong. Although I’m not sure why, could it be so that you can auto felate? Ok, I was just wondering! ;0

Tags: Mr Limpy, Fleshlight, Stretch ArmStrong


I was updating the sidebar last night, adding our recent You Tube clips to the list on the Right sidebar when I noticed that the video above had got one “Honour”, never having had a video with an “Honour” before I was intrigued. On investigation I found that the Amazing Heels video was “Most Linked (This Week) – People & Blogs – United Kingdom”

Somebody loves those shoes 🙂

Tags: kinky shoes, fetish shoes, stripper shoes, Adults Only Show

First Class Sex

AlexSuze.comThe train pulled away from the station and began to build up speed. Around the sparsely populated carriage our fellow passengers settled themselves for a long journey. A winter night, cold, moonless and dark painted the carriage windows a pitch black. An apparent void only pierced by the lights of the towns we passed and the occasional signal.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

We too settled for the trip, a long day behind us, another long day ahead.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

The rhythmic rocking of the carriage slowly lulled us to sleep.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum …

… Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum

I drifted towards waking, eyes closed, ears sensing that I was not in my own bed, mind slowly realising that the coarse texture of the fabric against my seat and the unfamiliar smells that pervaded my nostrils meant I was still on the train. I slowly opened my eyes, blinded by the dimmed lighting in the carriage, to find I was the only one awake.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

My thought processes increasing in speed with each waking breath an accelerating mass of neural energy, a Shinkansen of thoughts and ideas.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

She was beside me, slumped in her window seat. I reached across and slid my hand across her chest feeling her soft mounds. She stirred, making sounds I recognised from many nights sleeping by her side. A sigh, a half-spoken word. My name? Maybe.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

My hand travelled southward to the waistband of her jeans, flipping open the button, sliding down the zip. I delved inside. She stirred again, I waited.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

My explorations went further, deep into the neatly trimmed hair of her mons, seeking out her delicate, soft, moist slit with a single finger. It was all I could manage in the confines of her panties and tight jeans.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

Her clitoris was alive. The movements of my middle finger soliciting moans from her. A soft, semi-conscious, lament escaping from her lips like a gentle zephyr. My finger worked deftly, knowing her well. Her hips rose pushing her mons against me.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

Her eyes slowly opened. Her expression passed from the serenity of sleep, through curious arousal and appreciative self-satisfaction to slight alarm at the situation. She flashed an alarmed stare at me while simultaneously holding her hand across her crotch and pressing my hand deeper into her.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

The passion had its own momentum, overcoming the gradient of apprehension, speeding forward to the crest of the rise. She closed her eyes, savoured the decadence, the indulgence of the moment. Amongst the strangers sat around us she came with muffled grunts of appreciation. Her body convulsed, restrained by invisible bonds of her own making to disguise her orgasm. Finally relaxing, eyes still, shut into a contented doze.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

I glanced across at the woman asleep across the walkway, facing us. Her eyes opened, not as one disturbed from slumber but with the presence of someone totally aware. She slowly licked her lips with the tip of a glistening tongue, slid her right hand to her left breast and squoze her clearly visible nipple through the cotton of her T-shirt. Her gaze never left me until she shut her eyes again a few moments later, a broad smile on her lips.

Da-dum, da-dum. Da-dum, da-dum.

Tags: public sex, outdoor sex, sex on trains, train sex, exhibitionism

Dogging And Swinging

Here’s another blast from the past. Two years ago we were writing about dogging, well Suze was. Are you detecting a theme here LOL.

I recently reviewed the new SHM Magazine associated with the Swinging Heaven website Suze mentions in her article on the Website.

I Really am going to have to review the archives for some tasty morsels. When we moved from Blogger we didn’t move everything across to WordPress, because at the time the Blogger to WordPress was a bit flaky because of the new blogger. So since the wordpress conversion I’ve been moving posts across slowly.

I think what I might do is extract some of the fiction, articles and journal entries separately from Blogger and created themed areas. I’ll have a think about it.

Tags: dogging, swinging, SHM Magazine, Swinging Heaven,, Blogger, WordPress

Suze Is Just Filthy

AlexSuze.comThe thought crossed my mind what we’d been posting on the blog 12 months ago. What I found amazed me. It only seems like yesterday that this post was published, followed by the second part here.

It also reminded me whata filthy mind Suze has.


I’ll have to re-read some of our older stories. We write so much that I often forget what’s been written and reading them back is like reading someone else’s work. Hardly surprising it’s two and a half years since we started and that’s a lot of posts.

Dirty Talk

AlexSuze.comI have been back at work for almost a year now and it feels like much longer. My work colleagues now open up to me and hold some of the most interesting and intimate conversations with me. Which is good because we all like a bit of dirty talk.

The other day the curvy blonde who I have had my eye on for a while and wish that she was in to girl on girl action, knocked me sideways. She was looking through her purse for some reason and withdrew a discount card for a local adult toy shop. Apparently she knew the owner. I didn’t want to show too much of an interest and get her suspicious of me so I didn’t enquire how she knew the proprietor.

Then she turns up for work wearing fishnet holdups under her trousers. I’m getting the distinct feeling that people are not quite what they appeared to be at work. 😉 And that’s a good thing.

Later in the day I got chatting to one of the girls on the upper floor and she started telling me how she had been checking out the nurse’s outfits in one of the high street sex stores. It just goes to show you never can judge people.

And today I was covering the phones whilst curvy girl was at lunch and my other colleague said “I’ve brought something in to show you”. She then reached in to her bag and walked over to my desk. Then she produced a packed up two piece very much like the one in the image above.

She didn’t explain where it had come from but said she didn’t know how she would fit her boobs in to the top. I’ll tell you something, I’m beginning to look forward to going in to work these days more and more…

Tags: dirty talk, office gossip, kinky outfits, kinky clothes

Looking Up – Feeling Better

AlexSuze.comOK so I was Mr Grumpy pants earlier, and to a certain extent I still am. I’m going to be spitting feathers all weekend about the fact that we’re not at Olympia. However the weekend is looking up.

We’ve taken delivery of a huge heap of toys from our sex toy testing partners. So the usual giddy, kids on Christmas morning scene ensued. We have a little more restrain than a couple of five year olds, but old so we don’t damage the packaging before I do the images for the review posts. This batch of toys contains a couple of items that are particularly pleasing to the eye and some that would make excellent Christmas gifts for that special someone.

Expect my mood to improve as the weekend continues. 😛

Tags: sex toy review, adult toy review, Christmas gifts, Erotica 07

Erotica 07 – Things That Make You Go Hmmm

AlexSuze.comToday is the first day of Erotica 07 at London’s Olympia. And we aren’t going.

Apparently everyone else is.


Sadly, circumstances mean that we’re unable to attend this year and that’s a crying shame. But we other trips out in the pipeline so it’s not all bad. Still it feels like we’re missing a great party. Hmmmmm.

There is one piece of good news though. Despite not being there in person the ID Lubes stand will be carrying fliers containing extracts from our review of the Monogamy board game published on recently. So because Creative Conceptions (ID Lubes UK) were so impressed by the review we’re at Erotica 07 in spirit at least.

Roll on next year, new expos, and new naughty day trips.

Tags: Erotica 07, Olympia, ID Lubes, Monogamy board game, Monogamy board game review, Creative Conceptions

Does Sex Smell?

AlexSuze.comFollowing on from my Slow Fuck post the other day, I though you may want to know how I was reminded of my early morning screw. Well, it all occurred because I dropped my pen. Whilst leaning over to reach for the pen laying on the floor my nose became level with my crotch.

The aroma then filled my nostrils, a musky, semi sweet smell, tinged with essence of mushroom. Listen, I’m no Oz Clarke but that is how I perceived it. Lol A fine bouquet! Unmistakably the smell of sex.

I don’t know if I have a very sensitive nose or if I was giving away my early morning activities to my colleagues, although they hadn’t said anything. But then again, would you mention that someone smells of fucking? I’m not sure you would. 😉

The essence was certainly more palatable than the Vulva Original I had experienced months ago. That had the distinct smell of piss about it. Lol

For a moment I could feel myself becoming aroused by the thought of that slow grinding fuck I had before setting out for work. I shook myself out of my daydream and retrieved my pen.

It did however make me wonder if my colleagues could smell sex on me or was I just being over sensitive. I must admit I can’t ever recall smelling sex on my friends or colleagues before. BO yes and even the occasional sweaty crack but never sex.

It just occurred to me how accurate the description of smelling like mushrooms is for my perception of the aroma of sex. I never really gave it that much thought before. Bloody hell, I may find myself orgasming whilst eating a full English Breakfast in future. Make mine a large sausage. Ok, I’ll stop right there. 🙂

Or have we developed a keen sense of smell for our own partner? Very much like tuning in on pheromones. Interesting idea…has anyone out there detected the scent of sexual intercourse on a friend or colleague and if so did you tell them?

Tags: sexual smells, sexual aromas, Vulva Original

More Sex On The Move

AlexSuze.comI finally got the mobile site ( working. Don’t ask, it was sily error on my part and I should have spotted it in seconds. Anyway it’s up now so you can keep up to date with posts on the move.

I’ve been working on another little goody for that site too, keep popping over to find out more, or if you want to be notified when developments like the one I’m alluding to go live before anyone else, why not join Belong?

Well, it’s a grey day and I have lots to do so bye for now and pop back later for a proper dose of naughtiness.

The image? Oh, from Fairy Goth Mother, the were at the Adults Only Show,  but I didn’t get much time to talk to them. I’ll have to finish my piece about them for