Monthly Archives: December 2007

Happy New Year 2008

AlexSuze.com
To everyone, whether your New Year has arrived or it’s yet to come, we ‘d like to wish you a Happy New Year.

Rub Her Up Or Should I Say Rubber Up

AlexSuzeIt’s one hell of a long time since I had sex with a guy wearing a condom. Because Alex and I have been together for what seem like forever, we have never had to use them. Except for a couple of times when I was struck down with a vomiting virus or changed contraceptive pills.

I recall that the rubbers we used when I was a teenager were very thick and permitted very little by the way of sensation. To be honest I preferred bare back but you had to use them given that AIDS was gripping the country.

One thing I never mastered, despite being asked to apply them to various male appendages, was how to put them on with finesse whilst being very sexy. After all the last thing you want is to watch a girl struggling to roll a condom over your erect dick when all you want to do is push her in to the bed and fuck her brains out.

I tried and tried, even using my mouth to roll one on but it was a bloody failure. There is no way that you can put one of those things on and look sexy whilst doing it. The sheer expression of concentration as you roll it down his cock trying not to rip or tear it is enough to strike the fear of God in to most of us.

Some just wouldn’t uncoil at all and you had to resort to removing them from your expectant partner and try rolling them out and then straight back in again ready for application. By the time I got them on his cock was already on its way down, having forgotten quite why it was erect in the first place. Lol

Then there were the early attempts at flavours which all tasted synthesised and very sweet. Not at all tempting to the taste buds but it was the nearest most guys came to a blow job and you didn’t have to swallow. 😉

Come to think of it, I have never had an affinity with rubber. I once tried to use the cap and what fun that was. You have all heard the stories of the lubed up cap flying across the room as the girl tries to insert it…well that girl was me. More often than not, I would insert a furry cap inside my pussy because it would be covered in carpet fluff when I retrieved it from the other side of the bedroom. Lol

And then after all the trouble I took inserting the bloody thing I had a reaction to either the lube I was using or the rubber compound and had to stop using it.

What brought these memorable moments to light is that we have got some unusual condoms to test drive and it brought all these memories flooding back.

Have you any that you wish to share with us dear reader…

The image is from here.

Tags: condoms, contraception, rubbers, contraceptive diaphragm, flavoured condom

Content With Content Warning?

AlexSuzeI must say that the “Content Warning’s” that Google are adding to the front of Blogger blogs at the moment are a little unpredictable. I’ve seen them appear on some of the tamest adult blogs out there whilst other more strongly themed blogs are unflagged, so how are they making the decision to flag them?

Are we the readers prompting them? Or are they slowly making their way through the thousands of blogs out there and deciding which ones warrant flagging. If that is the case, which criteria are they using to make that decision? Or are all adult content blogs going to be flagged eventually?

Some may consider this Kudos whilst others may be left wondering why the need when most blogs already carry their own “Adult Content Warnings” at the top of their page. We can be responsible little bloggers when we try. Lol

Personally, we use WordPress and host our own site so this doesn’t present a problem to us but I do get annoyed at the promise of strong adult themed material, which this flagging suggests to be greeted by sites with posts which are no more adult themed than a book you could pull off any bookshop shelf.

Does your average bookshop have a top shelf for this kind of material, or does it let the reader make their own choices about which book to read?

What do you think?

Happy Finish

AlexSuze.comThe rain spattered across the side window of the cab, driven at the glass by a bitterly cold north-easterly wind. Her legs were cold and wet from the wait at the taxi rank, even the arms of her new acquaintance had failed to keep the cold at bay.

She peered through the window, the water running down the pane distorting the already twisted world outside into a scene that Dali would have appreciated. They were passing through the red light district, girls no older than herself, and some much younger, plied their trade in short skirts and dangerously high heels. She noticed with interest that one girl wore a jacket identical to one she had almost bought a week before.

She pitied them and simultaneously felt repulsed by them. Letting men do that to them for money. Eww! She sank back into his arms and let the taxi carry them to her flat.

The four of them fell out of the taxi onto the pavement outside her front door. After a short altercation about the fare, which was resolved when they all realised they were too drunk to read the taximeter properly, they paid the driver and made their way inside quietly. As quietly as it is possible for four drunken revellers to do anything. They all followed her through the communal hallway and up the first flight of stairs to Candice’s flat.

Inside Candice dug out cans of lager, deciding to hold back the vodka until later, and distributed them to her guests. Ian and Dawn had been together for a while, she had known Dawn since they both started school together. Ian had always been around but was a couple of years older than them both and hadn’t really figured in either of their lives until he started taking Dawn out about six months previously.

Candice’s boyfriend had been introduced to her by Ian. Was he her boyfriend? she thought. When does he become a boyfriend instead of just a series of dates? She decided a third date meant boyfriend, so not a boyfriend yet then. He was called Tom, though she kept calling him Tim. Tim was two, no three boyfriends back and although she’d laughed it off so far she told herself to be careful so as not to piss him off. She had seen what he could do when someone pissed him off. A bouncer had tried to throw him out of a pub on their first date, Tom pushed him down a flight of stairs. They had managed to dart down an alley before the police had arrived and escaped a night in the cells.

Candice turned up the music as loud as she dared and settled down on the sofa with Tom. The Christmas lights were still up and would be well into the new year, they illuminated the room just enough to see by. Tom pulled a pouch of tobacco from his jacket and from within it produced a pack of large cigarette papers and a slab of something brown and resinous.

From the other jacket pocket he produced his beloved Zippo lighter and warmed one end of the brown slab before crumbling it liberally into one of the papers and adding a lean sprinkling of tobacco. He rolled the joint, licked the paper with a glistening tongue and tapped a roach into the end.

Tom passed Candice the joint and lit it for her. She drew the first papery smoke from it as the twist in the end was consumed and expelled it, then she drew deeply on the joint, holding her breath and passing it to Dawn.

The joint did the rounds a couple more times, and was followed by two or was it three more. The bottle of Vodka from under the sink in the kitchen appeared, though Candice couldn’t remember having retrieved it.

Time slipped by like an eel, dark and slippery. Candice was shocked to hear a firework detonate outside and looked at her mobile phone. “It’s not twelve yet!”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Exclaimed Ian. The explosion had made him start, jolting a hot piece of resin from the end of the joint and allowing it to sear its way through his shirt and into the soft, sensitive skin of his stomach.

“Stupid fuckers are early.” Said Tom, his voice slow and deliberate, the sentence terminated by a wide grin that showed no signs of ending even after several seconds.

Minutes later it was twelve and with the television showing the revellers in Edinburgh, London and numerous other places across the UK cheering in the new year. They all broke into the traditionally garbled rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

It ended in a kiss between the girls and their respective partners, which developed into a face-eating competition. Dawn rolled onto the floor with Ian on top of her. Her hands pulling at her knickers until they were removed. Ian’s hands groped her breasts through her thin top.

Candice and Tom rolled on the sofa. His hard cock pressed into her leg through his jeans. She was wet, her pussy yearning to be filled by someone, something, anything. His strong hands pushed up her pink lycra top to expose her boobs and erect nipples. His mouth descended on them, sucking and nibbling like a starving man.

She rubbed herself on his leg, clitoris tingling from the sensation of wet silk on denim. She pushed him away and reached down to release the cock that she needed so badly. The sounds of Ian and Dawn cavorting on the carpet made her want it even more, now, hard and fast.

Tom managed to slide his trousers to his shins before Candice was pulling his cock towards her pussy. Her short skirt was rolled up to her waist, panties pulled to one side. Tom mumbled “Turn over”. She complied and felt his hard phallus slide clumsily between her butt cheeks and press against the dry opening of her ass.

“Ow!” She complained.

Tom tried again and this time entered her pussy, a few strokes and he was fully inside her, her buttocks pressing against the base of his cock.

Candice heard Dawn moaning. Candice had heard her cum before and wasn’t surprised to hear Ian grunt and shoot his load a moment later.

Tom took a little longer. Candice had cum, but Tom seemed to be taking forever and now she was becoming dry, her left labia seemed to be abrading against the skin of his cock. “Ah! Ah!” she shrieked in time with his thrusts. Tom took this as another orgasm and carried on. It was a merciful release from the increasing pain when he came a couple of minutes later.

He slumped onto her back, his weight pressing her into the nicotine impregnated velour of the sofa. He whispered something that might have been “That was fucking great” before crawling off her and struggling to pull up his trousers.

Candice lay motionless until the stinging sensation caused by his semen running out of her and contacting her sore labia forced her to go make her way to the bathroom.

They all drank and smoked into the small hours before drifting into unconsciousness.

Candice woke in Tom’s arms. Her waking dream was of a shopping trip with the girl she had seen the night before through the taxi window. They were shopping for clothes. The girl was advising her about “What the punters like”.

Tom farted and rolled onto his back where he began to snore. The unexplained vomit stain on his shirt stank almost as bad as his breath. She pushed his inert form away from her.

A tear welled in Candice’s eye.

The Elements Of a Spanking

AlexSuze.comIf you have been a regular reader you will know that despite spanking not being a major part of our lives there have been occasion when we have dabbled. Even then the moments have been widely separated and fleeting. The urge to be spanked or administer a slap to an exposed rump often occurring during sex, or at least the heat of passion and a single blow from a flat palm and fingers enough to sate the need.

So, we are not people for whom spanking is a required or ever-present part of our lovemaking.

Spanking for us is not foreplay. The longest duration I can remember of any spanking from start to finish must be well under a minute and probably no more than thirty seconds. It’s impromptu and spontaneous, unplanned and surprising when it occurs. So what place does spanking inhabit in our relationship.

For me, spanking Suze’s behind is about the sensation in my hand, the reaction from Suze, the feel of her buttock under my palm, the developing impression a slap leaves behind. It’s not about imparting discipline or indeed instilling a state of mind in Suze, other than forming part of my subtle dominance of her. Or expressing it, I suppose, as a token gesture of authoritative discipline.

I don’t overtly dominate Suze in our everyday lives and I like to think of myself as a considerate lover. It tends to be in the heat of passion that I express myself forcefully. When the blood is coursing through my veins, then I might hold her down, or grab at her with a grip that is unmoderated and occasionally bruising. It’s at times like that my orgasm is expressed vocally, often in animal-like ululations.

It’s during the build up to moments like that, just before the animal takes hold that I’m most likely to feel the urge to slap Suze’s beautiful backside. I suppose you could therefore say that it’s the first expression of the beast as it breaks free from its confines.

Some days that beast can be very close to the surface, other times it’s deeply concealed below the acceptable behaviour that society imposes on us all.

Now that’s not to say that the beast is cruel. I personally think that the only truly cruel animal is homo sapiens. To be cruel requires empathy and only higher animals display empathy. A wolf defends itself, kills for food and aims to breed to ensure its genetic line continues. During its life in attempting to fulfil those aims it fights, hunts and kills other creatures. That in itself is not cruel, it is a necessary consequence of life. The wolf for example has instinct to protect its young, but not the young of other species, or even other packs.

Humans on the other hand have and still do fight, kill and maim each other not for survival, but ideology, malice and greed. We, the most intelligent of animals and those with the most empathy are the only species that inflict pain for reasons other than survival. That is cruel, evil and shameful.

No the beast I am talking about is the one that appears when the higher brain, the intellect, the part of us that holds us back (well can hold me back anyway) and prevents us from expressing ourselves in the most honest and animal way. It is not partial, has no pejudice, knows no boundaries and can turn from howling, straining, bucking animal as I cum to tender, caressing, loving nest-mate a moment later.

Hmm. I’ll have to return to this. It started out about the sensations of spanking and ended up somewhere else. Nice to know I’m still learning about myself.

Tags: spanking, domination

Can Frigging Be Bad For You?

AlexSuze.comI have some strange thoughts I know, don’t remind me but can frigging be bad for your health. I was reading an article last night about vibration white finger or as it is medically known, Raynaud’s Disease.

The symptoms can be range from tingling which continues after the machinery is switched off (Oh, bugger that happens all the time) Lol to the body part turning white and possibly losing it.

So, I return back to my original question, can you get vibration white clit? Have I anything to worry about because I love my vibrating clit toys. I must admit that I haven’t seen any signs of an adverse reaction to my sex toys.

If anything should happen to my clit, I don’t know what I would do. It gives me hours of pleasure when I’m feeling randy.

I think the benefits far out weighs the risk, I for one feel a lot more calm and composed when I have come. Which is good for all and may help alleviate stress, perhaps we ought to be allowed to do it during our coffee breaks at work. Now, there’s a thought. 😉

Would I Share Her?

AlexSuze.comI didn’t quite realise just how much thought Alex’s post about getting it on with Busty would bring about. I’ve wanted to get in to her pants for weeks now and she has done nothing to change that desire.

Only…when Alex wrote the other day about me and her getting it on and how he would like to be involved…well, it started me thinking.

Would I want the relationship (hypothetical at the moment) with Busty and myself to extend outside of a pure girl-on-girl thing. Until now I hadn’t really included Alex in this naughty desire of mine to get it on with my fellow co-worker. It had been all about me and her. 😉

Now it was apparent that despite the fact that Alex, in common with most men, would love to watch me making out with another girl, he would also like to be involved. This scenario is not one that I’d considered and thought-through .

Do I want to share her with Alex? And do I want Alex to fuck her? I’m not sure. This all felt really natural and good until I started thinking about him being involved. Could I handle him fucking this other girl?

I suppose you don’t really know until the moment presents itself and in a way I am rather jumping the gun. But I suppose these things do need to be carefully considered prior to the event so as not to cause any embarrassment or jealousy.

The question I really need to address is “Would I be jealous of him fucking Busty?”, I suppose my gut reaction to this question is “Yes, of course I would…I love him” but part of me says “If you are sharing the girl, then what is the problem?”.

Quite a dilemma really when you think about it. Which I really shouldn’t have done. Lol It only makes my head hurt.

I mean, would I be content if both Alex and I shared the “third” or would the little green jealousy monster creep in. Personally, I would like to think that I am old enough and secure enough in our relationship and the commitment we have to each other, that I could handle it.

Who really knows, until they are faced with the opportunity. And lets face it, this situation doesn’t crop up every day, does it?

Has anyone else out there got desires to bring another in to the bedroom? If so how did you decide this was right for you both and if you have gone along with it, how have you coped with the jealousy aspect?

That’s me, always eager to explore new things and getting myself in to trouble … but the best kind of trouble. 😉

Moist Wet Skin In Hotel Rooms

AlexSuze.comThere’s something about bathrobes that turns me on. It’s the promise of what’s underneath of course, no surprise there.

Implicit in the wearing of a bathrobe can be many things.

The wearer is relaxing, either simply because they can’t be bothered to change into more conventional clothing or they have just stepped out of the bath or shower.

If it’s a bathrobe in a hotel room then of course they’re away from the normal and everyday. Even if it’s a business trip you’re outside the confines of your everyday life and as such normal rules are suspended. It’s like a Holiday Inn Never-Never Land in your room.

The thought of just dropping your robe and your partner dropping theirs and indulging in relaxed, languorous sex is ever-present. Making love in a strange bed, or bathroom or on the carpet just one of the possibilities.

And above all perhaps is the sensuous pleasure of soft, recently washed skin. Moist and fragrant with the scent of a woman.

All of which reminded me of this post I wrote a while a go:

I’m writing this in my hotel room. I’ve got satellite TV, a mini-bar, room service and a pool to swim in if I want to. But what do I want? What all guys alone in hotel rooms want? Sex.
I’ll correct that last question, what do all guys in hotel rooms want? They don’t have to be alone, they just get horny. Or is it just me?

I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, not just today but during previous stays away from home. I look at it like this, men have a predisposition to masturbatory fantasies. Take the man away from his partner and put him into a private room with double bed, en-suite, alcohol and access to a “porn” channel … do I have to draw a picture.

The possibilities for a man to indulge in self-gratification are legion. And that’s what I’m talking about. Not engaging in some elicit, drunken liaison with a stranger, just honest wanking.

You could think about your partner whilst fiddling. This is my personal favourite, though tonight I had a bit of a hybrid fantasy, read on … Partner fantasies are cosy, familiar and comforting after a hard day away from the person you know so well that screwing them is like screwing another aspect of yourself. Extra nice if you’re talking to that person on the phone whilst doing it. Unfortunately tonight that was not to be, it was too late to ring Suze.

You could pick from your catalogue of fantasies. The one which each man accumulates from early puberty. It’s like having an album of images and scenarios, some full blown role playing from initial contact with a female (or females) to orgasmic conclusion. Others are simply vignettes of your experiences, a glance from your lover, or a stranger, a still image from a film or magazine. Anyway all guys have them, and they are handy to carry around in your head for just this situation.

You can resort to pornography, photographic, literary or both. Thoughtful partner that she is Suze slipped a copy of Penthouse into my suitcase before I left. I discovered it when unpacking (luckily whilst alone!). I’ll peruse it later, not for a goodnight wank, just general titillation. I’ve had my fun (see below).

You can adapt a fantasy. For me, fantasies have to be vaguely credible. It’s unusual for a total stranger, sober and in possession of their inhibitions to jump out of their clothes and onto me. It does happen, very occasionally and it’s great, but life’s not a Jazz mag”.

When I checked in yesterday the desk clerk was very hot. Mid thirties, straight auburn/brown hair and curvy. She was wearing the standard hotel chain uniform skirt suite, and managing to make it look sexy. I chatted with her casually while I checked in, resisting the urge to flirt. How many businessmen, reps and assorted salesmen must she have to put up with clumsily flirting with her every day?

So I had the basis for a fantasy. In my head I called down to reception for someone to have a look at a dripping tap in the bathroom. “Curvy” was on duty and said she’ d be straight up. I open the door in my bathrobe. Yes I know funny place to have a door! Hang on a minute, rewind. Hotel bathrobes, aren’t they better than your own? They don’t have to be as soft or as comfortable but, they feel good. They always feel to me like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes. Epiphany moment -I think I just discovered I have a new fetish there.

Back to the door. I open the door and there is “Curvy” only it isn’t, it’s Suze in Curvy’s uniform. I invite her in and lead her to the bathroom. I explained that the bath tap dripping would keep me up all night. She bends over the tub to investigate, presenting her beautiful heart shaped ass to me, perfectly outlined in her tight knee-length skirt. I admire her shapely legs covered in black nylon. A familiar stirring beneath my bathrobe accompanies a quickening of my breathing and pulse.

The next bit is corny but so what, this is my fantasy. She slips on the tiled floor and nearly tumbles into the bath. I grab her waist and help her up. As she turns and thanks me she inadvertently pushed my robe open, catching a glimpse of my swelling cock. She gulps, dry throated and looks up into my eyes as I gaze down, first at her seductive stare, then lower to the hint of cleavage displayed by her top-two-buttons-undone white blouse.

I raise my hand to caress the back of her neck along the hairline. She sighs her assent, so I kiss her. Slowly at first, just lips, hers full and moist, mine harder, demanding. Then I push my tongue into her mouth, a little resistance at first then our tongues slither and wrestle. My free hand presses the small of her back to me forcing my now erect cock against her stomach. Her arms wrap around my back, fingertips pressing through my robe.

I slide her skirt up and lift her onto the marble surface between the double sinks. Our groins grind together as we continue to kiss passionately. Her blouse is undone and my hands mercilessly massaged her breasts.

Then, with her crotch wet with anticipation and my cock aching I turn her around, pull aside her panties and enter her. We both watch ourselves reflected in the mirrored wall as I drive into her giving her orgasm after orgasm, each more powerful than the last, until finally I cum. We collapse breathless onto the floor.

Silent Fucking

AlexSuze.comYesterday evening we had Alex’s parents over for dinner and we didn’t get to bed until late and guess what. We were both too tired to do anything naughty. Both of us fell in to bed and collapsed. I intended to just shut my eyes for a moment and the next thing I know it’s daylight.

Then today, you know we must be gluttons for punishment, we offered to look after little nephew from this morning until tomorrow evening. I’m currently having to sit here keying this in as the little one drops off to sleep, between shags as it were. 😉

We just attempted, to fuck in silence. Bear in mind that the little one is now growing up and before long will be totally aware of his surroundings, if you get what I mean. At the moment Alex’s bedside drawer has lube in most of them of one variety or another and a cock ring or two.

Whilst mine has a couple of clit vibes hidden between my underwear. It won’t be long before he is rooting in these drawers and then EVERYTHING has to be moved before he comes over. At the moment whilst he can’t read and as long as it doesn’t look like a cock, we seem to be ok.

However, it is a little more difficult to hide my elation when fucking. 😉 I have always been a vocal girl, it just doesn’t feel right to keep it in. So tonight just before writing this, I’m up on all fours getting the seeing to of a lifetime and the bloody bed starts squeaking.

I grabbed a hold of the bedhead in an attempt to stifle the noise and it worked to a degree. But when Alex rammed buried his cock cervix deep inside me it was almost killing me to suppress my elation. I tried burying my head in the pillow but felt like I was suffocating, yes I could moan in to its fibres but I also couldn’t breath.

Then I tried covering my mouth with my hand and had to let go the bedhead to do so…return of squeaking. Despite the noise we didn’t hear the little on stir but trying to stealth fuck is nigh on impossible.

How do you manage to restrain yourselves…anyone got any tips?

Am I Bad?

AlexSuze.comSuze and I are about half way through our break now. It looks like it’s going to be one of those breaks where we go back wondering what we actually achieved, but what’s new?

Anyway, at least we’re better than the poor souls who are working over Christmas and New Year. Aside from the obvious ones, emergency workers, nurses, armed forces and those of you out there who facilitate the western world’s need for shopping at every possible opportunity are a couple of people in Suze’s office. They’ve had to cover over Christmas.

On of them is “Busty”. Suze has talked about her before but until today I’d never met her. Suze can be a real cow, dropping hints about how cute she is and what an inviting cleavage she has. Anyway we popped in today to give her a bit of moral support.

I can confirm that she’s friendly.

She’s funny.

She’s got a pair of breasts that would bear closer examination, if she’d let me.

And I started to have some very bad thoughts about her. Her and me, her and Suze, her and Suze and me. You get the picture.

The fact is that although she is attractive she’s not what I’d call “my type”, but she is proof that a great personality is the key to sexual attraction. OK so it’s unlikely that any couple will get together without the physical attraction being present at the start, but personality is what makes a great relationships and keeps it going. Look at me and Suze. She has always had sex appeal by the bucket load, she’s vivacious, adventurous and always horny, but without a personality I’m attracted to even that could have worn thin a long time ago.

However, it wasn’t a long term relationship I was thinking about with Busty. The first thing that came to mind was copping a feel of her tits. Base and unsophisticated I know but if you’d been there you’d have thought the exact same thing. The next though as Suze and Busty waiting for me at home one night after work. You know, they come home early for a bit of girl-on-girl R and R and then invite me to join in the party … and so it went on.

All clichéd porn magazine stuff but she does have a naughty look in her eye and despite Suze’s previously stated view that Busty wasn’t keen on the idea of a bit of same-sex action I’m sure she could be persuaded.

I’m sure reality will kick in shortly and dispel these fantasies. Until it does I’ll have a big daft smile on my face.

Where’s My Whip?

AlexSuze.comAh, the clandestine world of being a sexually active couple … such fun but so many dangers. Mainly the danger of being found out by the relos at Christmas.

When you have many toys around and you use some of them quite regularly the changes of a relative happening across them are quite high. This is a theme that we’ve covered before and in the process of researching it (researching for this site is such a chore you know, porn site after porn site … LOL) Suze came across a company that might have the answer. To the Toy problem at least.

Soooo I wrote an article for The A-Rouse.com site. Why not pop over and have a look.

Right, off out now, more realtives to visit.

I wonder if they’ll leave out anything a little incriminating. That would certainly add a little interest to the visit.

Porn, What Porn?

AlexSuze.comAlex’s parents came over yesterday evening for dinner. I’m not a fantastic hostess, I always end up getting in a right flap over things but it’s nice to be able to return the invitation. They have us over to their house over Christmas so it’s only fair.

I must admit that I did find it difficult not being online during their visit. My mind kept on wandering to thoughts of posts that I wanted to write and blogs I wanted to visit but I couldn’t just get up and walk away for a few hours. Lol

It’s true, I now get withdrawl if I can’t be online, how bad is that! I think I may be in danger of becoming addicted to adult blogging. You don’t realise just how much it has taken over your life until you have to manage without. I really was becoming quite twitchy towards the end of the evening, I needed my fix.

The highlight of the evening came after we ate and retired to the lounge and the comfort of the sofa. His parents sat opposite us as we chatted and drank wine, all very relaxed and comfortable.

Alex turned on the television to catch up with the news and afterwards decided to hop through the shopping satellite channels. This amused Alex’s parents as they only have FreeView which doesn’t give you as many channels (of shit. Did I just say that? Lol) to choose from. We spent a while flicking through them and couldn’t stop laughing at the battery operated rotating mop we came across.

He continued to move through the channels and in to the adult zone at which point Alex’s mum asked if we subscribed to the movie channels. We don’t because it cost more. “Do you get those adult programmes?, not the Chat Line ones but the films and stuff?”, enquired his mum.

Alex picked up the satellite control and selected one of the adult film channels and said “No, look you have to subscribe to those, you have to enter your pin number”. “Oh, replied his mother”. I’m not sure if she was disappointed or taking it all in. Lol

It’s strange, no matter how old you get you never like to admit to your parents that you engage in sex or for that matter like to watch it. We have a huge collection of porn DVD’s hidden away but we would never admit to it. 😉

It occurred to me after they left that she wasn’t just being inquisitive, I think she really wanted to know. Maybe she is thinking of getting an upgrade…

How To Bring Out The Whore In Me

I ordered this online thinking it would be a nice cooling and relaxing massage oil, little did I realise its power. Think Pink Cooling Massage Oil is contained in a very pretty pink themed 8.5fl oz bottle topped with a pink metallic cap. The essence/flavour is labelled as Frosty Peppermint Schnapps.

The reason I mentioned flavour is because rather unusually this massage oil can be eaten but be careful as the base is castor oil and it may make you a little loose should you ingest too much. Or alternatively your fella could shag the shit out of you. Lol I can be so crude sometimes.

Alex kneeled to the side of me and asked me to roll on to my tummy. I complied after removing my blue night shirt. Now naked I lay prostate before him. He opened the bottle and slowly drizzled the cool fluid on to my back. At first I jumped and shuddered as the oil made first contact with my warm flesh.

Then I felt the first tingle. My back was cool but tingly at the same time and the air around was filled with a lovely subtle peppermint essence. Alex began to work the oil in to my muscles around my lower back and I began to grind my pubis in to the bed with each stroke.

I turned slightly, on to my right side and asked Alex to move a little further up the bed. My mouth sought something tasty. Alex’s groin was now level with my mouth and I leant forward opening my mouth ready to accept him. Alex smiled and expressed his joy as I took his cock in my mouth.

He continued to massage my muscles despite my attentions on his hard cock distracting him. Every now and then he would give in to his urges and replace his moulding of muscle with a thrust from his groin. He went a little too deep the first time and I gagged as he hit the back of my throat. My eyes still watering, I began to give him head.

Alex continued his soothing massage and I took a firm grip on his cock with my lips and tongue. Working his foreskin back and forth with each stroke. I could now feel his hands bracing the nape of my neck as I continued my assault upon his erection. My pussy was responding, becoming moist between my legs.

The minty aroma now filled the air and my back was tingling like shards of ice had fallen upon it. Alex has now all but abandoned the massage session, he was finding it difficult to reach me as I was now up on my right elbow sucking like a hungry whore on his manhood.

He began to thrust gently in to my mouth once again and I took a hold of his balls in my left hand giving them a firm careful tug. Alex gasped with the attention his erection was now receiving. I increased the speed of my ministrations and Alex tightened his buttocks, pointing his cock even deeper down my throat.

He hit my throat again but this time I managed to work through it with watering eyes. I was getting off on this myself and didn’t want to break the rhythm. I rant my tongue firmly down the back of his cock, rubbing his frenulum and that was what did it.

“Suze, I’m going to come!”, Alex whispered through heavy breaths. I continued with even more vigour, I wanted him to come inside my mouth. It’s not something we do all the time but I was so horny I just wanted to taste him. A couple of bucks later he was firing his seed into my mouth.

I pulled back slightly, from experience I know that it can make you cough if it hits your throat. Then he came in short bursts, coating my tongue with the musky opalescent fluid. The musky taste filled my mouth, I could smell him, taste him. I was so turned on that my own thighs were now glistening with my juices.

The last of his seed drained Alex collapsed next to me on the bed. Now there was the small matter of me to take care of…

Katie Price – In The Pink

AlexSuze.comThere was a time when a topless model in a newspaper would cause outrage. Today it’s commonplace and rather bland. “Lad’s Mags” have tried to keep interest going by increasing the “nipple count” and adding glossy colour to attract readers. Because let’s face it guys, who buys Nuts or Zoo primarily to read the sport section.

Whether you love or hate Page 3 of the Sun newspaper, or the weekly glossy lad’s mags you have to admit that boobs in the UK press are not big news.

Katie Price AKA Jordan is not vilified as a loose woman with questionable morals as she would have been in the 1950s, but has her own TV show with husband Peter Andre (OK, had I don’t know if there’s a series 2 in the pipeline), she is a celebrity brand guaranteed to sell newspapers/magazines.

There is one thing that really ticks me off about Katie Price (OK a few things but this is the one that really makes me cringe). It’s not the modelling or the celebrity glitz bullshit, that’s part of the product that is Jordan. No it’s the pink.

The wedding was pink. She thinks in pink, even her bloody book about Poinies is Pink. Then there’s the subject of the book, PONIES!

Katie puuuhhleeaasse! Please stop being so girly. It makes me want to puke. It’s like Barbie come to life with extra pinkness.

One last thing. Stop being so horrible to Peter he doesn’t deserve it.

OK, one more last thing. Probably the results of looking at too much porn but it’s taken me all my self control not to edit the image to read “Pony Girls” instead of “Perfect Ponies”

Tags: Katie Price, Jordan, Peter Andre, Katie and Peter Unleashed, ITV2, topless photo, topless model, The Sun, Zoo, Nuts, lads mags, lads magazines, glamour photos, glamour photography, glamour model

I Got Me Some

AlexSuze.comYou may recall if you managed to sneak away from your relatives on Christmas day evening that we had both over indulged. No, not that kind of indulgence. Lol That was the problem.

My parents had tempted us with so much food that day and you feel obliged to eat it. I mean at what other time of year do people eat dates and satsumas? Then finally after eating our way through a huge dinner and a very rich portion of Christmas pudding, we were asked…your dad has made a lovely Christmas cake…we groaned…”Would you like a peace with a cup of tea”.

How could we say no! Dad had laboured over this cake for hours. So we had a small portion and that was the final straw. We both sat back on the sofa holding our stomachs, vowing never to eat another thing.

Consequently, when we arrived home full of lust, we were too stuffed to do anything physical. After a couple of hours I couldn’t wait any longer to get some cock. I had a solution to the problem…no need to try and achieve miraculous positions! 😉

I took Alex by the hand upstairs to our bedroom. Threw off all my clothing and assumed the position on the mattress. Doggy style! There, I had found the perfect positon after Christmas dinner. No, having to scrunch up or take your partners weight, trouble free fucking. Lol

I’m not sure if having a full stomach helped but he was hitting my g-spot with each thrust and I came several times. Alex wasn’t long behind, with a huge grunt he shot his load inside me, then toppled on to the bed at the side of me.

They say where there is a will there is a way and I can’t go all day with being fucked…simple as that. 🙂

Sex Toy Review Videos and Categories

AlexSuze.com Sex Toy ReviewsI’ve finally added decent categories to the sex toy review site here. That should help you navigate more easily.

I’ve also added our video reviews to the bottom of the sidebar. You can now access our videos of the following form there too:

Lelo Lily

Tuyo Vibromasseur

Earthly Delights Review Teaser

Earthly Delights Outtake

Doc Johnson EZ Rider Rocker

Fun Factory Delight

Devinn Lanes Nipple Arousers

Mantric Miyakodori

Nexus Vibro

Rubber Flogger

There are more reviews coming soon on AlexSuze.com.

Tags: sex toy review, adult toy review, sex toy review blog, adult toy review blog, Lelo Lily, Tuyo Vibromasseur, Earthly Delights Review Teaser, Earthly Delights Outtake, Doc Johnson EZ Rider Rocker, Fun Factory Delight, Devinn Lanes Nipple Arousers, Mantric Miyakodori, Nexus Vibro, Rubber Flogger

Gratuitous and Nasty

AlexSuze.comLet’s be honest at Christmas you expect the Christmas TV schedules to be padded out with some crap. It’s understandable that after spending money on the big name Christmas special extravaganzas and blockbuster films the channels will find some old rubbish to fill the off-peak viewing hours.

Usually this consists of “classic” comedy shows, cheap films or hastily constructed compilations from successful series. Last night however we stumbled across a criminally low quality show entitled “Uncut! When Santas Go Wrong”.

Consider the title. First its festive because it mentions “Santa”, then there’s “Go Wrong” – do they fall over in a hilarious fashion or are they beer-swilling, child-hating Santa’s. Finally “Uncut!” (note the exclamation mark) so there could be swearing too.

Not quite.

What the programme did consist of was the lowest quality collection of supposedly amusing clips I have ever seen. The “Uncut!” appeared to refer to the sequences of two models in Santa outfits, bra and panties flashing at the camera between the third rate clips.

We managed to watch about three minutes of it before turning the TV off.

Just FYI we only came across the show because we’d been watching the previous programme and unwinding after a long Christmas day.

I really am beginning to despair at the low quality of TV that is being produced. Maybe the Internet is the only place we’ll get decent quality content soon.

I Want Stuffing Too!

AlexSUze.comWell I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas day, as I write this we have just returned home from a wonderful day of over indulgence at my parents house. I think I ate enough food to sink a ship and my mother was still insisting as we left that there was some Christmas cake to eat.

We set out this morning to visit the family around 10am after showering, applying makeup (me only. Lol) and changing in to our finery. It was such a rush after getting up later that we didn’t have time to truly welcome in Christmas day with a shag.

So we left the house today without. 🙁 As the day progressed I found myself suffering from withdrawal symptoms and copious quantities of food were just not making up for the steamy sex I desired. I even played footsie under the table with Alex whilst eating with the family.

Formalities over we both couldn’t wait to return home and fuck each others brains out. Now this is why I am sitting here typing this post…

…we got back, threw off our clothes and jumped between the sheets for warmth. And guess what. Because of the over indulgence around the dining table we were now too full to screw. I couldn’t believe it, we had waited all day making eyes at each other and now we couldn’t do the dirty.

I’m hoping by the time I have found a suitable image and posted this up that my food will have digested enough for me to fuck his brains out.

Right.

Happy Christmas everyone, I’m off to get my stuffing now. Wish me luck! 😉

A Naughty Christmas Song

AlexSuze.comOn the first day of christmas my true love sent to me
A pair of vibrating pants

On the second day of christmas my true love sent to me
Two anal probes
A pair of vibrating pants.

On the third day of christmas my true love sent to me
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the fourth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the fifth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the sixth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the seventh day of christmas my true love sent to me
Seven lubes for playing
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the eighth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Eight maids a milking 😉
Seven lubes for playing
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the nineth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Nine vibes a humming
Eight maids a milking 😉
Seven lubes for playing
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the tenth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Ten palms a pumping
Nine vibes a humming
Eight maids a milking 😉
Seven lubes for playing
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the eleventh day of christmas my true love sent to me
Eleven pole dancers
Ten palms a pumping
Nine vibes a humming
Eight maids a milking 😉
Seven lubes for playing
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants

On the twelth day of christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve lords a swinging
Eleven pole dancers
Ten palms a pumping
Nine vibes a humming
Eight maids a milking 😉
Seven lubes for playing
Six balls a gagging
Five cock rings
Four horny birds
Three french maids
Two anal probes and
A pair of vibrating pants