Monthly Archives: March 2008

The Scent Of A Woman

I first saw the advert about a month ago and since then have had to purchase the fragrance. The girl on the advertisement has me transfixed. Brunette, stunning and very, very sexy.

Of course I liked the fragrance too, which is why I bought it but that girl on the box captivates me.

It’s not often that I see someone and can’t get them out of my head but this girl is one such beauty. The last one for me was the girl from the Scottish Widows advertisements some years ago. Eventually I did find out her name, it was Amanda Lamb I discovered some years later.

But this girl eludes me. I have tried to find out who she is on the Internet without much success. It also annoys me immensely that this girls name isn’t more prominent. She’s the bloody face of a perfume which is going to earn Donna Karen a considerable fortune and I feel she has been pushed to one side.

Let’s find this girls name and give her some credit. If anyone knows who she is post her name in the comments on this post.

The fact that I certainly would has nothing to do with it of course. 😉

Tags: DKNY, Donna Karan, Amanda Lamb

I Like A Submissive Man

I think this ad was banned on UK TV, which is a pity because I like to see a woman in control. Hehehe

Getting the Viagra Blues

ViagraViagra recently celebrated its tenth birthday. I assume the people at Pfizer celebrated by driving their Ferraris very fast while throwing high denomination bank notes out of the open windows like they were confetti. Pfizer make $1.5 billion each year from the drug and the reason is obvious. No man likes to admit that they have trouble attaining or sustaining an erection.

From time to time all men do, be that through illness, age or being so drunk that you wouldn’t know what to do with an erection if you had one. Now while Viagra is the answer for some men, a fact that should be celebrated, it’s not always necessary.

Whether it’s a psychological, placebo effect, or there really is some truth behind it there are numerous herbs and plant extracts that have been attributed with enhancing male performance.

In a totally unscientific survey I pulled the “enhancing lubes” from my bedside drawer that we’ve been sent for testing. This is what they contain in one combination or another:

Puncture Vine
Cnidium Seed
Ginko Biloba
Trifolium Protensa (Red Clover)
Horny Goat Weed
Vitamin E

Now as none of these preparations claims medical benefits the exact composition and concentration of each of these ingredients is not specified and while none of them have ever caused me any harm they have not been tested to the same extent as pharmaceuticals.

But there is something about herbal preparations that make them far more attractive to me than artificially synthesised ones. It’s not uncommon to feel comforted by the thought that the “it’s natural” therefore “it can’t do you any harm” or it contains “ancient wisdom” of some kind.

Well whatever the reason I’ve found all of the “enhancement” products I’ve tried have been useful to a greater of lesser extent, either by directly stimulating my penis, or apparently increasing the longevity of my erection.

So I don’t really care if their effects are in my head. For me at least they worked at the time.

If you want to read our lube reviews you can start here and here.

Tags: Viagra, sexual lubricants, sex lubes

Fucking Or Popping?

I read an article today claiming that a study group of 100 Australian women with mild to moderate depression revealed that they had on average a third more sex than women without depression.

It was claimed that the women were more sexually liberated and liable to have had a more diverse sexual history with single women being more susceptible to partaking in casual sex.

The reason for the marked increase in sexual diversity and activity was said to be that these women tended to seek sexual intimacy to make them feel secure.

Speaking from experience sex can be a very uplifting experience but the effects aren’t long lived. However the researchers conducting the study could not confirm if sex actually cure depression. True long-lasting happiness has to come from a stable relationship with your partner, good sex can only help such a relationship develop and endure.

I’m all for having more sex rather than popping pills, it has to be the better way to help yourself and have fun whilst doing it.

Pro-Sex versus Prozac, I know which gets my support.

The Clit G-Spot Link

Alicia RhodesLast night Alex and I felt a little bit like watching some fetish porn. He selected Harmony’s House of Shame from the DVD case under the bed and put it in the player. It’s a multi scened party themed DVD complete with some really hot latex outfits, I particularly like the maids outfit. 😉

I stripped off and slipped in to my cute nightshirt (it’s turned a bit cold here, we have snow!) with a big teddy bear on the front and Alex down to his t-shirt. We slipped between the cold sheets and hugged for a moment to get warm.

Picture the scene, Alicia Rhodes straddles a pommel horse lifts her skirt and a guy in a pair of leather chaps enters her pussy and starts to fuck her. The camera angles are excellent, watching him fuck her from under the horse is very arousing.

I start to get horny and so does Alex, he had already started to gently wank under the covers. It’s a bit of a fetish of mine to watch, so pulled back the covers to enable me to see. Nothing quite like watching a guy satisfy himself, he knows exactly what he likes and observing can be so educational. 😉

By this time I was wanting a little attention myself, I was wet no doubt about it. Torn between watching Alicia being drilled good and proper and watching Alex masturbating. I reached over to my drawer and removed my clit vibe, placing it on my right middle finger.

Did I tell you I also like a bit of mutual masturbation! 😉

I turned it on, spat on my fingers and ran them along the valley between my swollen labia. Then I applied the clit vibe. It zinged my clit and I quivered as it made contact with the sensitive nub.

Alex was now starting to firm up as blood coursed through his veins into his cock. He placed his left hand on my thigh and watched as I began to massage my clit from side to side with the finger vibe.

Alicia was now being spit roast laying on her stomach with Mr Chaps fucking her pussy and another fucking her mouth. My favourite scenario, one I hope to fulfil soon. 😉 Watching her brought me closer to orgasm, I could feel my nerve endings jangling as I played with my clit.

My feet and hands began to tingle as the orgasm rose up through me. I placed right ankle over the left and squoze my buttocks together. This intensifies the pre-orgasmic state and makes my orgasm envelope me. I was close, just keeping myself on the edge to enjoy the tingles spreading throughout my pelvic girdle. It felt too good to give in so quickly.

Then BANG! My orgasm took me over, no stoping it now, no holding it back…it was coming and rippling through every muscle in my lower body as it travelled upwards…focusing on my vagina and clit.

My back arched in to the bed and I released an almighty moan as the last ripple of excitement travelled through my body. Even though my eyes were closed I could sense Alex’s pleasure just watching me come next to him.

I usually have a clit orgasm and leave it at that but Alex was hard and nudged me. “Do you want some cock?”, he asked. He didn’t need to ask twice.

The scene with Alicia was still playing and I turned towards the bottom of the bed on all fours so that I could watch whilst being fucked. Alex sidled in behind me and pushed the tip of his hard cock against my pussy lips. The left one got pulled in so I pulled my pussy open, releasing it.

He was now firmly inside me, ball deep. Alicia was really enjoying herself, now on her back with her lovely big breasts bouncing away as he fucked her, harder and harder.

Alex started to fuck me and I immediately became aware of him massaging my g-spot. It was so sensitive, it must have been stimulated by my clitoral orgasm because it had never felt so intense, heightened pleasure as he moved in and out of me.

Within moments I was moaning, telling Alex that I was coming. It really was that good. I can only conclude that having a clitoral orgasm immediately before your guy penetrates you flips the switch and you are highly tuned sexually, more so than normal.

Of course I will have to test this theory out again and again and…

He continued his onslaught on my pussy, relentlessly driving in and out of me. The visual stimuli on screen obviously adding another dimension.

“I want to taste you when you come!”, I called out, it just occurred to me. I was in the mood to taste him.

Alex grunted back to me, he was too far gone to speak.

A couple more deep thrusts and I was coming again and just as I came back down to earth Alex pulled out of me tapping me on the right buttock a couple of times. He withdrew from my pussy and moved back.

I turned to face him, head level with his cock. He continued to stimulate himself, pulling slowly back on his foreskin.

I crawled closer to him and placed my tongue on the underside of his cock, rubbing against his frenulum as he pulled at his erection. Alex started to fuck his hand, pushing his hips forwards and I sat with my tongue out.

Expectantly I waited for his ejaculate to spurt forth. One fuck, two fucks, three and with an a roar Alex exploded. The first emission hit the back of my throat with such force that he made me cough a little.

I kept my mouth open and stuck out my tongue waiting. He wanked and another spurt hit my top lip. I’m careful now to remain close when he comes, once you have had spunk in your eye you avoid it happening again at all costs. Lol

A couple more spurts and my tongue had accumulated a sizeable blob of his seed. He was spent nothing else to come he stopped masturbating.

I raised up on to my knees embraced him and kissed him deeply, sharing his seed as our tongues jostled.

Playing A Dirty Game

Alex and I don’t usually play sexy board games but last night we made an exception and a discovery.

We had been asked to review a new adult board game (post for this coming up soon) which we will give you the in depth dirty details on later. 😉 And we jumped at the chance, quite often due to lack of time and energy these days we don’t spend enough time playing games together.

I suppose that is true of most working couples. By the time you have driven home from work, created and eaten dinner all you want to do is sit down and relax. Game play is the last thing on your mind and to be honest sometimes so is foreplay. We just get down to the dirty part. 😉

So last night we made a discovery that taking time to play is a good bonding experience and heightens sexual awareness. We have both learned that it is essential that we all make time for a little bit of playful interaction.

We both were so turned on by the game play that we didn’t even complete the game before we were fucking like over-sexed animals. Alex took me by the hand and pulled me away from the bed which was covered with the board and various other naughty things.

I was led to the landing and lent over the banister and Alex entered me from behind and fucked me so hard that I felt at one point as if I may tumble over the edge of the rail and downstairs. He quite literally lifted me off my feet for a second! 😉

If this is what playing naughty board games can do I’m certainly going to get hooked on it!

Sex, Death and Empathy

Simon KingLast night we watched a programme about the wildlife photographer and television presenter Simon King. His life has been dedicated to photographing the natural world. His passion is unquestionable, his sympathy for the wildlife deep and compelling, and he (by his own admission) is one of the luckiest men alive to have such a career. Not that luck has much to do with it in his case. He’s worked long and hard, knows his subjects and knows his craft.

Two segments of the programme struck me in particular because they made me consider how important empathy is in our interaction with the world.

The first was the footage of orcas beaching themselves to catch sealions. That in itself is remarkable footage; What makes it disturbing is the sight of the orcas tossing the still living sealions out of the water, releasing them and playing with them before devouring them. I like most people regard cetaceans in general as highly intelligent and gentle animals. Yes killer whales are carnivores, but most predators kill for food, they don’t literally, play with their food. It’s not a pleasant site and I can only attribute their use of the dying prey and toys in game of macabre water polo as due to a total lack of empathy.

At the other extreme some humans (a species that is capable of the most horrendous cruelty, despite its intelligence) was shown displaying an empathy for a prey animal than I have ever seen before. An African tribesman was shown pursuing a Kudu on foot for 30 kilometres in the midday heat until the antelope collapsed and the hunter despatched the animal with a spear. Not very empathic you might think, but the man then spent time carrying out rituals on and around the animal to show his respect for his fallen foe before finally butchering the carcass. Rather more respect than I feel I show when I buy a shrink-wrapped slab of anonymous cow flesh from the supermarket.

Empathy is key to forming relationships and while not all relationships are as extreme as that between predator and prey there is one that verges on this. The interaction between two human beings when they fuck. There’s a word, fuck, should it be “make love”? I don’t necessarily think love has to come into it but there certainly has to be an interaction on a level more profound than the mechanical act of penetration, ejaculation and orgasm.

Maybe it’s intellectual, or perhaps a lust born from deep physical attraction. Whatever the motivation there has to be an exchange of something more than bodily fluids.

Is this the difference between porn and erotica? Porn is the mechanical, the means to an end by the most direct route, erotica on the other hand leads you by the hand and via a route devised by its creator leads you towards the ultimate conclusion. A conclusion that you may not have foreseen and by a pathway that you have until that point never travelled before.

To write erotica takes an understanding of the reader that is deeper than the need to cum. I write stories, some of which can be regarded as porn others which I like to think of as adult fiction or erotica. I know I enjoy writing the erotica more, even though it consumes more time and requires my head to be in the right place.

So you may now be wondering about the elephants in the title. Just a rather amusing piece of trivia. When Simon King was a boy he wanted to be an elephant. Apparently it took a great deal of persuasion to convince him that no matter how much he wanted to be a paciderm it wasn’t to be.

Tags: Simon King, empathy, sex and death

Office Whore

Gordon raised the glass to his lips and let the vodka slide slowly down his throat, the dry, burning sensation one of the few things that made him feel alive these days. He considered the glowing cherry of the cigarette in his other hand, carcinogen laden blue smoke curling sinuously from it. And that was the other.

It was early, only eleven in the evening, it would be two or three before he lapsed into unconsciousness for an hour or so of restless sleep before dragging himself out of an oily slumber and into his Aston Martin for the drive to work. He regarded the TV with vague interest, the programme was in Spanish. He didn’t speak Spanish, but he was the first on the estate to have a satellite dish, so he was going to make sure he watched this foreign shit and got his money’s worth. Well, it made some sort of sense to him by the time he was half a litre into the night’s bottle of vodka.

It had been a productive day at work. Business was good, and while companies around him in the industry were failing he continued to prosper despite the economic slow-down. Come to think of it he’d had a good couple of years, seeing many of his old mate’s firms go to the wall. So if it was that good why did he drink a litre of vodka every night and fill the onyx ashtray to overflowing while watching incomprehensible satellite TV programmes?


She had walked into his office with a provocatively low-cut top displaying, what his lad’s mags would describe as, her ample chest. She wanted the job that much he though to himself, chuckling.

She placed herself carefully in the chair opposite his desk, ensuring he could almost see up her short skirt. Almost, she was a fucking tease. He liked that, it meant she knew what she was up to, not one of these stupid air-head’s fresh out of secretarial college with their diplomas and no experience of the real world.

As it turned out she had no experience either, but that seemed to matter less and less as the interview progressed. Especially when she kept leaning forward, tits fighting like two puppies in a sack, threatening to spill out of a bra whose only purpose seemed to be that it would soon disgorge it’s cargo onto the wood and leather of his desk.

She had a way of licking her lips too. It promised a lot. All that mattered now was if she would keep her lip’s promises. Those promises were making his cock stir in his trousers and dribble down his inner thigh.

When they had finished she left the office wiggling her big ass at him and waited in reception as he’d asked while he cancelled the rest of the interview appointments.

He took her out to the Aston at about three in the afternoon, raising a few eyebrows in the office. He drove her to a country pub and experimented with a little small-talk. It wasn’t his forte, not that it seemed to matter to her. Polly it seemed was more than happy to drink the rum and coke he bought her and let his hand explore her legs under the table until he discovered that his suspicion about stockings, not tights, had been true.


Gordon sighed and shuffled in his armchair, his cock was uncomfortable again. His glass was empty, he refilled it, omitting the spring water this time.

He looked down.

Her head was in his lap, working away like a pro. Her tongue was lapping at his frenulum, eyes looking up at him. Very nice, he thought.

Her mouth encircled the end of his cock, drawing him deep into her mouth and began to bob up and won for all she was worth. He felt his glans press against her soft palette and then with a pop pass it. She couldn’t breath, he could tell, she began to gag. Enthusiastic didn’t quite cover it, she raised her head again and sucked hard on his erect member.

She had removed her top, but other wise was full clothed, He had fancied a quicky over the bonnet of the Aston on the way home, but she’d started acting coy. “Prick teaser” he’d thought but soon discovered otherwise when she started fumbling with his flies while he drove.

She’d given him a hand job before they were half way back to his house, caught his cum in a handful of tissues and thrown it out of the window into the hedgerow just before they entered the estate …

Now he felt the spunk rising, “ready or not love, here I cum!” he thought when the muscular contractions began. She tried to swallow, but couldn’t keep up as he spurted into her mouth, the excess dribbling down her chin. When she was sure he had squirted his last she looked up to display her glistening lips, letting him watch her scoop the errant globules into her mouth.

He grinned an inane grin and soon after drifted off to sleep.

When his snoring became deep and constant she slipped into the kitchen and dialled home.

“Mum? Yes, it’s Polly, well you know you said I should find myself a rich husband …”

Easter, The Season To Be Horny

Wicthes Of BreastwickSpring is the season of renewal and mankind has recognised this for millennia before the Christian festival of Easter. The Saxons called it Ä’ostre after their goddess of spring and fertility, the Greeks have a legend telling of the return of Persephone from the underworld, symbolising the return of the Sun’s warmth after the cold of winter.

Many societies have celebrated the return of life to the world around them at the time of the vernal equinox. And with spring comes procreation (or the results of earlier procreation) for many species. Obviously if you have a gestation period of 9 months it’s a good idea to ensure that actual procreation takes place in the previous year (in the northern hemisphere) to ensure births coincide with the abundance at the end of summer. But celebrations of fertility have often been associated with this time of year.

If you’re a witch then you’ve probably already celebrated the Imbolc festival on 02 Feb. Which brings me to the naughty bit of this post. I found this while mooching around. “The Witches of Breastwick“, a 2005 film, which I’m guessing doesn’t have a great deal to do with ancient fertility rites, but has a very good write-up for a softcore title.

Tags: Witches of Breastwick, Julie K. Smith, Monique Parent, Glori-Anne Gilbert

Fancy A Rude Boy?

Rude BoyThere comes a time in every sex toy tester’s career when he is able to say with authority “In comparison with other prostate massagers and anal toys I have tried …”. The fact is I have tried quite a number of anal toys from small vibes, through metal and jelly butt plugs to highly specialised prostate massagers such as the Nexus range. They all have their good points and not-so good aspects like all male masturbators and masturbation aids.

So when I came to try the Rude Boy by Rocks-Off, supplied to me, I wasn’t expecting to be able to say much that I hadn’t already said before. The fact it it’s been around for a while and I can’t say that I was impressed by it’s appearance. The insertable part of the toy is smooth, unlike say the Nexus range whose form is carefully sculpted to match the male anatomy. Nor is the bullet a cutting edge design – on or off that’s the only choice you have.

But the Rude Boy delivers, it really delivers. You see the fact that the toy is made of soft medical grade silicone, and has a smooth shaft makes it easy to insert. With a more shaped toy like the Nexus Gyro you get a more intense sensation from the opening of your rectum right up to your P-Spot. That’s great if you’re a) not an anal virgin and b) have the time to let the Gyro rest in your ass for a while and relax. The Rude Boy however is a much easier toy to use and provides stimulation of a less intense nature.

Unless you’ve experienced both I would say you would have difficulty understanding the difference between a Gyro and a Rude Boy. I suppose a metaphor is in order. The Gyro is a double espresso with a Pro-Plus on the side, the Rude Boy is a nice strong Nescafé with a little sugar to take the edge of the bitterness.

Suze assisted as normal, always eager to grab a handful of cock even if she’s only able to play with it. I applied lots of water based lube to the rude boy and my backside, working it slowly inside with the tip of the toy.

The toy is extremely easy to insert, no complex shape to navigate, no ridges or “neck” to ease past your anal sphincter. Apart from making insertion of the Rude Boy less challenging it also makes it easier to position the toy to give you the level of stimulation you desire. With a highly shaped toy you find the insertable portion locks into one position. Because one size doesn’t fit all, we all have subtly different internal anatomythis can lead to a stimulation that’s either too intense or just doesn’t hit the spot. The Rude Boy’s smooth shaft does provide a gentler sensation, and means you feel more in control than with some other toys.

There is some satisfaction however in getting the perineal stimulating bobbles next to the vibrating bullet to press firmly against your perineaum and feel the tip of the Rude Boy resting firmly on the anterior wall of your colon and squeezing your prostate. For me the Rude Boy is the perfect size when fully inserted.

By the time I had got to this stage I was almost had, cock full of blood, with Suze gently sucking the tip. Because prostate stimulation tends to generate a lot of pre-cum she was probing my urethra teasing out every drop of clear fluid.

Rude BoyWhen I was finally hard I knelt up and pushed her away. Despite the claims that the toys is “hands-free” I found that because of the amount of lube I had used it would slip out if I didn’t position myself squatting, with the Rude Boy resting on the towel I’ had placed on the bed. With that small practicality resolved I proceeded to indulge my exhibitionist side and wank for the entertainment of Suze. She lay back and gently rubbed her clit with a moist finger and watched me pump my cock in my fist.

The clear fluid oozing from the end of my penis was lubrication enough to ensure my foreskin slid up and down turning my swollen glans into a glistening bisected hemisphere.

I was breathless because of the stimulation created by the Rude Boy and wanted to cum almost as quickly as I could. I say almost because as I approached orgasm I found myself wanting to hold back and increase the final intensity as much as I could. I teetered on the edge for a few strokes but eventually the sight of Suze, smiling with her hand between her thighs and the now incredibly intense involuntary spamsing of my anus gave me no option but to allow myself to erupt, squirting semen up several inches into the air and landing on my hand and thighs.

I can definitely recommend the Rube Boy as a great toy for any man wanting to experiment with prostate stimulation, even absolute beginners. You may not be able to use the toy to its full potential the first time you try. But with patience and plenty of lube you’ll be able use this toy over and over again. I think this sort of toy is often categorised as a gay sex toy, but this  is about stimulation not orientation and gay, bi or  straight any man can enjoy the Rude Boy.

Tags: sex toy, male sex toy, sex toy review, male sex toy review, Rube Boy, prostate massager, prostate stimulator, P-spot massager, P-spot stimulator, anal toy, gay sex toy

Entertaining Lesbians, Bisexual Explorations And Playground Insults

Clown FishA few weeks ago I posted a video on YouTube expressing, rather sarcastically, my opinion that Dawn Porter’s documentary “Dawn Goes Lesbian” trivialised the issues around discovering sexuality, specifically that of young women who felt they might have lesbian or bisexual tendencies.

I’m not going to cover that ground again here, but what I am going to talk about is the comments the video provoked.

On the whole they were unremittingly negative and mainly abusive. There were a couple of commentors who disagreed and put their points across in a civil fashion. There were two or three others who agreed with my opinion that show was bad television and a vehicle for Dawn Porter to further her career. In one of the replies to a comment I had to point out that I had no problem with Dawn herself, I can see her becoming very rich and famous, very fast. She’s pretty, has intelligence and obviously has the attention of commissioning editors both here and in the US, so she isn’t going to listen to me.

But for the most part the commentors not only felt the need to tell me that I was wrong, but that I was stupid, “old”, homophobic, bigoted, sex-starved, had issues with my own sexuality, that I should get over myself … it goes on. The act of expressing an opinion seems to have brought out the pack mentality in some of Dawn’s fans. It’s not enough to disagree with me as a couple of the commentors did, but they felt the need to attack me personally too. I got the feeling from some of the comments that they had either not watched my video or had not listened to its contents. Maybe they had just read the previous comments and thought they’d take a pop at me?

I’ve never experienced anything like that on this blog. Yes we occasionally get comments that are overtly hostile, or disagree with what we have to say, but on the whole commentors seem able to hold differing opinions without resorting to playground name-calling.

The answer may I feel come from a couple of the comments which seem to indicate that their authors feel it is OK to make a TV programme that is in their words “entertaining”, even if the subject matter is not properly explored, may be presented in a way which is easily misinterpreted and is fundamentally important to those it affects.

Sexuality is a matter for everyone to decide upon with as open a mind as possible and with real information available to them. Some people might explore the possibility they are homosexual and realise they are straight after all. I never want to be in a society where a person’s sexuality is restricted because they feel pressured one way or the other. Repressing your true sexuality only results in bad decisions and unhappiness. Exploiting the often painful process of discovering your sexuality for entertainment is just wrong.

The “Get out of jail free card” or “It’s OK, it’s entertainment” doesn’t wash with me at all. Bad television is bad television no matter how famous, or popular the presenter, or how “entertaining” some of the audience find it. This all disturbs me and doesn’t bode well for the future of TV programming in this country.

As far as I’m concerned there’s nothing else to say on the matter, but it’s been an education. LOL

On the subject of playground insults, this article caught my eye too. On the same theme, about changing attitude towards homosexuality and the terms we as a society apply to it. When people feel that they can use words that some sections of the population find offensive under the guise that they “didn’t mean it like that”, where’s that going to lead. That sort of covert bigotry is even more difficult to tackle than the obvious kind that minorities in society used to (and still do in some cases) have to put up with.

Not being homosexual I can’t say if I would feel upset or not by any of the words mentioned in the article. What I can say is that the lazy use of language leads to misunderstanding and that leads to unnecessary conflict in any scenario.

A Bit Of Blow And A Wank

It’s a rare thing but Alex and I were invited to a party last night. It was a cold evening but we wanted to get out and do something different to the norm.

The party was in celebration of a work colleague securing a position in Germany with some advertising company or other. Nice, I wish I could find something like that I have been looking for something to provide a little more cash for a while.

So, as it was a cold evening I decided to wear my black jeans and a red lambswool sweater. I know it doesn’t sound very sexy but it accentuates my curves very nicely. 😉 And I got quite a few looks last night. Did a bit of looking myself, there were some very nice guys and girls there.

During the evening when Alex’s friend Craig got a little bit tipsy he came over for a chat. He is a very interesting guy, done lots of things and went to Uni as a teenager.

Which is wear I was leading to. He used to share a house with 3 other guys when he went to Uni in Manchester. One of the guys actually owned the house, you know one of those don’t want to except the fact that he is getting on a bit now and should really grow out of the student thing.

He told us one night he went out with his fellow students and came back to the house, walked in to the living room to make his way to the offshoot kitchen and found his landlord in a compromising position.

In the dimly light room he was crashed out, sat up with his jeans around his ankles. The ashtray next to him held the remains of a couple of joints. Hold on you haven’t heard the best yet…he was holding his limp cock in his hand and at its base was the tea towel from the kitchen.

Errrrr! This guy had been wanking using the tea towel they used to dry the pots with in the kitchen. As Craig put it “How long has been doing that with the tea towels?.” Lol

Chocolatey Blow Job For Easter

I bought the girls a small box of chocolates each on Friday to say thanks for listening to me and being so supportive this week through the problems that a couple of people have been causing us. They were delighted and Horny almost screamed with joy, she gets so excited you know. Lol

Busty then disappeared under her desk and retrieved something from her handbag. “This is for you and Alex to enjoy over the Easter break”, she said with a smile and a lovely view of her cleavage. Stop it Suze!!!

The gift was in a small decorative bag with little chicks on. Aaaggh! “Can I take a look?”, I enquired not knowing if she wanted me to wait until Easter.

“Yes, take a look if you like”, she giggled and Horny joined in…it was a conspiracy.

I opened the top of the bag and inside was a small pot of chocolate body paint with a brush to apply it.

“Oh you two are so naughty”, I said giving Busty a nice boob crushing hug. I then walked over to Horny and gave her a thank you hug too.

“Thanks both of you I can’t begin to imagine what I may do with this”, I laughed.

“I bet you can”, came the response from Horny. She knows me too well.

Well, I couldn’t wait for Easter so we disappeared upstairs to the bedroom last night to indulge in some naughtiness. The television was unwatchable because of the high winds battering the satellite dish so we really didn’t have much choice. 😉

Chocolate and clothing doesn’t mix so we both stripped naked casting our clothes to the floor. I got a little over excited at the prospect of chocolate play and couldn’t stop myself from giggling. You will already know that I get that way if you have watched our AS TV clips.

You back then?

I wanted to try the body paint on Alex first and he didn’t object in fact I think he knew I would be chocolating him up first as he lay back on the mattress. He was already hard and his cock was pulsing eager to be coated. It jumps slightly when it is excited, almost beckoning me to do something with it. 😉

Despite Alex’s obvious excitement his cock was still resting slightly against his stomach. Only one course of action remained. I opened the jar and with a small pop the lid came free. The brush was very soft and tickly, I gently brushed my left nipple with it then dipped the brush in to the thick viscous chocolate.

It had the consistency of peanut butter, perhaps just a little less thick. When I applied the sauce to his hard cock I knew why, it started to warm and the aroma of fresh chocolate filled the air. It was heavenly even though I’m not particularly a chocolate fan it smelt good.

Alex wriggled as I brushed the chocolate on to the underside of his prick in one long stroke, up from his balls to the frenulum. One long brown stripe on his hardon, inviting me to taste him.

I placed the body paint and brush on the bedside drawers and lay down beside Alex. His eyes were closed and his mouth smiling. I ran the tip of my tongue gently and deliberately up his shaft and watched as he twitched and gasped. His nipples had begun to harden and his breath was deep and gaining rapidity with each lick I took.

The body paint had a nice taste and despite it being chocolate it wasn’t overly sweet which I was glad about. I continued to lick and the last of the paint coated my tongue. Alex had taken to slowly grinding his ass in to the bed as I toyed with him.

I reached out for the paint again and this time scraped a dollop on to the brush. Taking hold of the base of his cock with my left hand I swirled the chocolate coated brush around his erection, coating all aspects of his appendage this time.

Using the brush I worked the paint from the base of his cock, just above my grasping hand up to the helmet. At that point the brush ran dry so I scooped a small blob from the jar and applied it to the tip of his cock. Then using the brush I ran it around his cockhead and down to meet up with the line just under his frenulum.

His cock was now completely encased in chocolate and I was so engrossed in the job in hand that I hadn’t noticed Alex pushing his hands between my legs as he searched out my clit with his fingers.

He was now rolling my clit around and I spread legs more enabling him to work my clit with his fingers. It was hard and I was already wet with the excitement of his chocolate cock and where it was going next.

I lay beside Alex in a 69 position which allowed him free access to my pussy. My hips bucked as he rubbed my clit from side to side. Still holding his cock I began to lick him with my firm tongue pressed against his flesh. Rubbing the chocolate coating from his helmet, swirling it around his erect bulging cock.

Then I took him in my mouth and bore down on him, sucking all that chocolately goodness off him. My head bobbed up and down his shaft and he started to slowly buck against me, meeting my downward action with his thrusts.

The chocolate was making me salivate and at one point I found myself dribbling on to the sheets. Good job they are brown. 😉 I opened my mouth more to enable him to fuck me without catching my teeth and scraping the flesh from his cock. My lips were now firmly and hermetically sealing his cock in my mouth.

He was groaning as he wildly headfucked me. He was thrusting harder and I gagged as he ventured a little too far down my throat. I had to open my throat more to enable him to enter the top of my throat with his thrusts. Then I found myself gagging again. I pulled my head back slightly, opened my throat and pushed my tongue against the base of my mouth.

This worked, he was now pumping in to my mouth like a pornstar. He placed his hands either side of my head and embraced it as he fucked away. My clit was pulsing from the earlier attention he had given it. I reached between my legs and started to frig myself.

He pumped, I rubbed…he pumped I rolled and then without warning he let loose the most animalistic howl followed by “hmmmmm, hmmmm” and the sweetness was cut though by another familiar taste…

…his come. He had let loose his load in my mouth and I swallowed it down just like an oyster, not wasting a drop of him seminal fluid.

I continued to rub my clit and spurned on by Alex’s orgasm mine engulfed me like a sweet embrace. My whole body twitched as I came on my middle finger and down my thighs.

Suze may have changed her mind about chocolate. 😉

Tags: blow job, bj, choclate body paint

Sexy Hippy Chick

I’d forgotten all about this image. It’s so long since we did any new HNTs. Anyway, the first time around this was entitled Chloris. It’s got a lovely spring-like feel to it, don’t you think.

Did I Tell You About The Guy With The Big Cock?

What a week! Along with the problems we had over the weekend then spilled in to the week it has been very busy at work. No time to think and certainly not very much time for our usual smutty talk.

That was until today, we were all more than ready for the 4 day Easter break and let off a little steam this afternoon.

I told you all a while back that Busty is on her own again. Well, she has now started to put her feelers out. She apparently registered on Friends Reunited to see if any of her old school mates were interested in meeting up.

That’s when he contacted her…

She said that she had received a few emails from girls she used to knock about with in senior school and as a result of her communications she had been approached by an old flame.

He used to go out with her when she was only twenty and he was ten years older than her. I was made familiar with him when she said “Did I tell you about the guy with the big cock I used to go out with?”.

“No, I replied. I’m sure I would have remembered.

“He contacted me the other day. He’s married now which is a shame”, she added.

“So, tell me more about him”, insisted Horny whose ears had picked up at the thought of a large cock. Lol

“We were together for a few years but he became a bit too controlling so I broke up with him”, replied Busty.

“No, what she really wanted to know was just how big he was”, I added with a giggle. They know me now and have remarked on several occasions that I am the one with the dirty mind who had corrupted them. So, that’s alright then. 😉

Busty opened up her email and said “I have just received an email from him with some pictures”.

Without being asked twice I jumped up out of my seat. I suppose I was expecting him to have sent her a picture of his cock. That would have given IT something to look at, they are obsessed with mail filtering. Lol

Horny made her way over to Busty’s desk too and we held our breath as she opened the first of the attachments. I don’t know why I was so excited. 😉 The first image appeared on the screen, it was of some kind of motorbike.

“I like the bike”, I said hoping to swiftly move on to the last image.

“He had a motorbike when I was going with him”, she added.

*yes, yes…now hurry up I want to see the last picture* I thought.

She clicked it and there he was…

…he had taken a picture of his torso from shoulder height. Lots of tattoos but no cock in sight. 🙁

“He had my name tattooed on to his upper arm in Chinese when we were together”, she added with a smile.

Yes and I bet his wife has been told that’s her name on their now. Lol