Monthly Archives: April 2008

Topless Calendars

There’s a culture in the UK, despite the much vaunted “British Reserve” of hanging calendars with pictures of semi-naked girls on the walls of workplaces. It’s becoming less so these days as managers become more aware of, and sensitive to, the feelings of female employees. Of course it has a lot to do with the increasingly high number of females in the working population.

However glamour calendars, topless calendars or whatever you want to call them still exist. There are the classy ones, like the celebrated Pirelli calendars. Then there are those which are less about the art and more about catching the eye of the guy who orders the spares for the machinery. After all that’s what the calendars are for, to make sure that a name sticks in your head the next time the compressor breaks down, or you need some oil for the forklift.

In being used as the most un-subtle form of advertising imaginable calendar images have become part of the British working man’s psyche. To ensure that they are a) displayed in as many areas of a business as possible and b) attract as much attention as possible some firms have tried publishing several versions each year.

It was quite common when I was managing such a workshop to have the representative from suppliers drop off two calendars, one for the front office and one for the workshop. The front office one being girls in bikinis – wearing both top and bottom – the workshop version being topless.

In one notorious case a supplier had two rather more explicit versions, one topless, the other full legs-akimbo muff shots for the men-only areas.

Saucy calendars are a curiously male thing, you rarely se a female dominated office with a calendar covered in pictures of men. And I’ve never seen a calendar aimed at the admirers of the male form with images that show genitalia.

Probably says a lot about the differences between the sexes.

Tags: topless calendars, glamour calendars, Pirelli Calendar

Suze In Silk

My Silk Pyjamas

My silk pyjamas, are they an indulgence?
I suppose so, but I love the feel of them
Silk has a texture like no other fabric
A look like no other

I slide into bed and feel them against my skin
I want to touch them
My hands explore the ripples in the material,
tracing the curves of the flesh underneath
I am roused, rising, the mere act of touching fuelling my inner fires
Is this an illicit pleasure?
This tactile safari over muscle and skin.

My hand reaches down one leg as far as I can reach
Now back up and down the other, avoiding the obvious destination
For now
I’m hard, hard as steel, silk and steel a delicious juxtaposition
I can resist no longer, my hand dives in

I feel the arousal, so obvious, yet clandestine in its silken shroud
Unseen, every touch is amplified
My rapaciously horny mind seeking sensation
My other hand reaches up to squeeze a nipple

You gasp

I love it when you wear my silk pyjamas

The Fuck List

Busty and I started a bit of a chat about Lib Dem MP Nick Clegg’s recent faux pas in revealing to GQ Magazine that he has had slept with no more than 30 women and he rated himself as not being particularly brilliant but not being too bad.

This interview has brought him some fame and he is now referred to as Nick Cleggover. 🙂 And I don’t believe it has done him any harm. There is nothing wrong with being human and admitting that you had an active sex life in the past, despite others trying to discredit him for being above all honest…an enviable quality in a politician don’t you think.

I like it when an MP shows his vulnerability, yes he was probably a little green to be that honest with the press but it’s refreshing to see a guy who is not old and jaded.

Busty agreed with me and then I turned the table on her. I held up my hands to demonstrate how many guys I have slept with in the past. Don’t ask, that is the only clue I am giving you all. So you know it is no more than 10. Lol

Whereas Busty actually sat back on her chair and considered the question for a moment. I geed her up and said “How many have you had then?”

There was a pause and then she held up her hands and her felt simultaneously. I laughed out loud and called her a tramp and we all burst in to laughter.

I wonder if I am in with a chance. 😉

Tags: Nick Clegg

Extreme Porn On The BBC

BacklashToday the new Criminal Justice Bill passes through the House Of Lords for its third reading on its way to becoming law. We’ve covered it before so I wont go over the details here. If you want to know how it may affect UK citizens if it becomes law you should start here.

The bill has been described as enshrining a form of thought crime in the British legal system and even if you don’t fully support the amendments that Backlash are lobbying for you surely have to admit that the proposed wording of the new law is dangerously ambiguous.

What really struck me is that it’s the biggest article I can remember seeing on the issue on the BBCs site, yet it only appears less than 36 hours before the final reading of the bill. Is this bias by the BBC, wanting to make sure nobody finds out about the law until after it’s on the statute books?

No, more like the BBC not having it’s finger on the pulse when it comes to gauging the depth of feeling on this issue within some sections of the adult community. The BDSM scene has been buzzing with this ever since the law was proposed, Backlash and others have made sure of that. What’s worrying is not specifically that this law in itself affects the BDSM community, but that if such a badly worded piece of legislation becomes law it has implications for the freedom of everyone.

Laws should not be ambiguous, or vague. Even the best of laws are open to interpretation, they have to be as a prescriptive and overly specific phraseology could by its nature mean that criminals slip through the fingers of the justice system on technicalities. This law goes far, far into the opposite direction and displays an inability, or perhaps unwillingness, on the part of those who wrote it to understand the issues involved.

Tags: Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill, Backlash, thought crime, BBC

Sex, Swimming And Perving

I`m really enjoying the whole swimming experience. We have only been a few times since we took it up again but it’s great exercise, a complete body workout.

The pool that we attend is one of the old ones, none of the modern fancy-dancy extras that you get with new builds. It’s just plain swimming and that’s it, however that does reflect in the admission price.

Not much to look at though, no hunks or hot girls and I’m finding that I seem to attract a lot of divers around me at certain points in the pool. 😉 Some have taken to tossing their locker keys in to the water and diving for them. Yes guys, I know exactly what you are up to if you are reading this. Lol

It could be that we are going at the wrong times but probably that the ones worth ogling at go to the new facilities and clubs. There is something quaint about the old swimming baths, for example the changing and showering facilties.

The ones in this swimming pool are almost prehistoric. You will laugh but I went to the loo last time I went which involved carefully pulling a wet clingy swimsuit down to my thighs. That was the easy part. I forgot just how hard it is to pull it back up again when it has rolled in to the tightest of rolls.

I’m not kidding, I must have been in that toilet about 10 minutes trying to re-roll my swimsuit back in to position. But the best had yet to come…the showers were communal. A long shower tray with four showers aligned along it.

All the girls were showering with their swimsuits still on, not ideal if you want to clean off the chlorine properly. The first time we went I conformed and showered in my swimsuit only washing the exposed parts of my body.

The second time we went, I though “fuck it” and I pulled down my swimwear and placed it on to the ledge outside the shower. It was quite humorous watching the other girls in their trying to overt their gaze as I continued to give myself a full body wash with a buffer and some foam.

I continued to wash myself and enjoy the experience from the point of view of almost being an exhibitionist and watching their faces, trying not too look at me. 😉 I’m a tease I know. We British are so reserved, I then had fun leaving the showers and walking over to my locker naked just holding my shampoo and shower paraphernalia.

Can you believe I used to be a shy girl? 😉

Fucking Into Oblivion

Last night was great fun. We tested one of our newly arrived toys together, then spent a little time on each other and finally made love again, just the two of us.

Sex earlier in the evening had been great, the toy we used being particularly effective and quite a revelation for a simple device. Sometimes there’s nothing quite so nice as a loving screw. Loving doesn’t mean it wasn’t passionate, just not wild monkey sex. We started in the missionary position. That doesn’t sound very adventurous for us does it. But when you consider we’ve not really had sex in that position for years until about a month ago it’s unusual for us.

Missionary is like coming home. We’ve been through all the positions we’re physically able to get into, exploring as every possibility we can think of and ignoring the conventional. When you do that the conventional itself becomes exotic to you.

Anyway, from missionary Suze rolled onto her side. I knelt across her leg and slid deep inside her, making her gasp with my deepest strokes and moan with the rest. I could have carried on for hours, because despite being a very tiring day for all sorts of reason I was very turned on. When that happens the fatigue just falls away, at least until the ultimate climax.

Finally, Suze rolled onto her stomach and raised her ass towards me. We fucked doggy, Suze cumming twice and my orgasm arriving slowly and intensely, rolling over my body like a light blue wave. Time seemed to slow down as the pleasure increased.

Then I passed out. Yep, just for a second I think I blacked out. I think it was the intense satisfaction and release that did it, and I was aware of doing it in a weird way but I lost control of my motor functions and slumped across Suze’s back for a moment.

Maybe it was the fatigue, combined with the orgasms. Whatever it was I’ve not experienced it before and it brought with it a feeling of calm and fulfilment.

I don’t think Suze quite realised what happened. She obviously felt me slump across her back, then come back to life. Just when you think there’s nothing new to experience something happens and you realise you’ll always be learning …

Discover Your Lover

Discover Your LoverWe were sent a new game a couple of weeks ago. It’s by Teas & Please and it’s called “Discover Your Lover“. We’ve played it and I’ve posted a review over at A-Rouse.com.

I’m expecting three more deliveries this week from various sources so we’re not short of things to review at the moment … but we always look forward to the packages we receive.

We hope you enjoy reading about them.

You can read the review of Discover Your Lover here.

Tags: Discover Your Lover review, sex game, adult game, adult board game, sex game review adult game review, Tease and Please

Old Fuck Buddies

Do you remember that I was talking to you the other day regarding following up old friends and it not turning out quite the way you expected. Busty has only gone and got in touch with one of her old boyfriends, Eric.

She contacted him via Friends Reunited and got chatting to him over the past week that I have been off and she has been sent texts, emails with pics of his toned upper body and now he is calling her.

Now this all sounds good, she has no boyfriend at present just a couple of guys sniffing round but nothing serious. BUT! There is a serious drawback to this…the guy is now married. And not just married but with kids too.

Of course his wife doesn’t know anything about him contacting Busty but I believe she knows the girl he married. It hasn’t deterred her any, she is intending to meet up with in a few weeks when he comes up on business. And she has been flirting like crazy with him during office hours and telling Horny and me exactly what he has been saying to her.

At this point I’m sure you are all wondering, just like me, why she needs to follow up this old flame. I can understand her curiosity not having seen him for the last 15 years since they split in a less than amicable fashion, however she does seem to be getting as excited as a girl on a first date and as you know he is spoken for.

Not just that, the guy was apparently a bully when she went out with him. The reason they eventually split is because she summoned up the strength to tell him that it wasn’t working.

So why, oh why, does she want to see him again? From what she has said about his calls and conversations with her he still has the same controlling attitude. And she admitted that she is slipping back in to feeling the same ways she did back then, controlled, weak and apologetic.

At this point I have to ask, why do women put themselves knowingly in situations like this. In her heart of hearts she must know that any relationship they may have is doomed from the start. He hasn’t changed and she has moved on, or at least I thought she had.

I confess I’m feeling very protective towards her at the moment and no it’s not just because I would like to get in her pants. Lol

All though I wouldn’t say no.

I’ll keep you posted on events I’m sure there are going to be some.

Tags: fuck buddies, adultery, cuckoldry, cuckolding

New Look Smut

We noticed a few bugs in the LicList software over the weekend, so I fixed them and while I was at it I changed the format and colour of the list itself.

If you don’t know about LicList it’s a list of adult blogs that lives here on our site. It’s been around for a while and is reasonably well liked by Google and other major search engines. If you have a blog and haven’t already done so then why not join?

I haven’t updated the members area yet though, so apologies for that, but I will do when I get the chance.

 Anyway, the new look Liclist is here.

Tags: sex blog, sex blogs, sex blog listing, sex blog directory

Breast Stroke

Ever since Horny and Busty visited the gym I have been considering starting up at our’s again and go swimming again at the local pool. We haven’t been swimming for about 10 years or perhaps more.

Alex and I woke early yesterday morning and spooned together and the next thing I know he is pulling me on to his cock. I couldn’t resist and before long we were both getting in to the swing of things and I came several times before he shot his load in to me.

We got cleaned up and went shopping for swimwear. Our previous swimming attire was out of fashion as we haven’t been on holiday to anywhere we could wear it either. I decided to look for something sensible but low cut, after all I’m not going to hide two of my best assets am I. Lol

I grabbed several styles and colours of swimsuit from the rails and made my way off to the changing rooms. It’s a shame that you can’t take your partner in with you to get their opinion but I can imagine the kinds of kinky goings on that would take place if that were allowed. 😉

As I took of my jeans to try on the swimsuit I couldn’t help but notice that the crotch was slightly damp. I felt between my legs and the crotch of my panties was sodden. How is that guys are only supposed to come about 5ml of come, the equivalent of a teaspoon but it wets your pants through? That will always be a mystery to me.

Swimwear now comes with a thick strip of tape in the gusset so I wasn’t unduely worried. Did they have a problem with girls with come oozing from them trying on swimwear in the past? Who knows but it is a good thing they apply the tape to the gussets.

I decided on the black swimsuit with low cut neckline and back with halter neck. It looked plain, classy and made me look hot showing the line of my cleavage nicely without looking tacky.

Impatient as ever I decided to go swimming in it in the afternoon and managed to find a pool with general swimming for us to attend. It felt really strange undressing in a public changing room but there weren’t many people in there. Most of them were elderly unfortunately, no eye candy. 🙁

I made my way to the pool after securing my clothes and possessions in a locker. It’s strange how you get out of practice at things like undressing on wet changing room floors, it brought back memories and routines I once had.

When I got through to the pool Alex was already swimming away, guys are always in there first. I walked along the edge of the pool feeling a little self-conscious and slipped down in to the warm water.

I swam down towards the shallow end and then turned and went back towards the deep end. On my way back I had to stop to let some teenage boys dive for their locker keys. I worked my way round them and continued on my way. At the end I briefly met up with Alex before setting out on another lap. It was hard work I didn’t realise just how unfit we had become.

Again on my return I bumped in to the boys. They were swimming around under the water and it came to my attention that they were doing rather a lot of diving around the area I was in. 😉 It became obvious that they were checking me out under the water and reminded me that I used to do the same when I was younger.

I would dive under the water and check out guys packets and girls cleavage, remember I have double the fun being bi. 😉 You have to be very careful but it is easy to get some wonderful voyeuristic moments in the chlorinated underworld. 😉

Dare I say it but I gave them plenty of opportunity to ogle my cleavage. Is that bad? Suze is so bad…

For more of Suze being bad, see this video.

I Wanna Fuck Pornstar Style

Julian RiosI have just finished watching a great porn DVD, it’s a little more unusual than the norm. It is called Erotic Stories by Archel if you want to look it up. There are several storylines with a thread running through the whole DVD to bring it all together. The girl who introduces the stories is quite cute too.

We have watched it story by story over the past couple of weeks and finally watched the last scene this evening. And it was worth waiting for. The guy in it is called Julian Rios and the picture at the top of the post is him. He has to be the best looking pornstar I have found yet.

Trying to find pictures of his on Google is almost impossible, I guess you have to join his website to get them. 🙁 And you have to be careful not to confuse him with the Spanish writer of the same name who looks nothing like him.

Julian certainly hit the spot, by the time the DVD had finished the girl off I was ready to get down and dirty too. Alex must have appreciated the girl in the story because he was as hard as rock as the titles rolled up screen.

I must admit that since seeing this guy I have found myself captivated and wanting to know more about him. It’s a long time since a male pornstar did that to me, I’ve had similar feeling about the girls including Simony but this is the first guy in a while who has got me hot and bothered.

Problem is I believe he is married to Lanny Barbie…but that’s not a problem is it? I could be persuaded to do a threesome, she’s quite a looker. 😉

 Oh, don’t forget my latest video, you can see it here.

Tags: Julian Rios, Archel, Erotic Stories, Simony, Simony Diamond, Lanny Barbie

Suze Is Officially Classed As Smut

Smutalot.comAs you will be aware, as of yesterday I reregistered at 25Peeps with a new image when they reset. And asked for you guys to go over and show me some love. AND YOU DID! I got up in to first place quite rapidly yesterday after all your support. Kisses to you all.

When I left the house this morning my image was still at number one over there. However when I got back I had received an email from the site informing me and some of the others on there that we had to be relocated because of complaints of the “increased nakedness” causing discomfort. Oh well, you can’t please everyone can you…especially if you aren’t high up. Lol

No, but seriously they have now set up another site for the more risqué images to be submitted to called smutalot.com. I for one am very happy at being classed as smut. 😉 And if it’s smut you want, you have come to the right place because I have it in great handfuls. 🙂

So, go over and show me and the other naughty people some support by clicking here.

And remember to come back when you have done with the letching.

Ivory Basque And Stockings

Ivory BasqueThe second Christmas we were together I bought Suze a new outfit. It was an ivory coloured basque with suspenders, panties and some matching stockings.

At the time I remember writing on the gift tag “To Alex, from Alex”, as a joke. After all, I would be the one looking at it, right?

Suze loves nice underwear, she says it makes her feel feminine and special, glamorous even. She likes getting ready for a night out (I just about remember the last time we had one of those, I hate being broke), dressing up, making herself up.

I think it’s mainly because she doesn’t feel the need to spend hours each morning in the bathroom beautifying herself. Nor does she have to wear designer clothes to go to the supermarket, and normally she wears no makeup.

So when she does get dressed up/made up I suppose she feels like a different person.

Which is why, at the time, the joke I made was a joke. Since then I have come to realise it said more about my immaturity than I could ever imagine. Now I can’t help but be reminded of the line from Melanie Griffith in “Working Girl”, “Couldn’t he just once buy me something I can wear outside the bedroom”.

Because despite the fact that she enjoyed wearing it and the seeing her in it effect it had on me. And despite the fact that she felt sexy and glamorous in it … I had bought it for me. OK so a lack of imagination at that young age, and the knowledge that she would want to be wearing it while I fucked her can be presented in some way as mitigation, but when I think about it now it bothers me.

Here’s the thing. If you give someone a gift and you were thinking about yourself when you gave it, isn’t that selfish?

I suppose it’s a bit like the series of comedy sketches by Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse depicting two aging DJs “Smashey and Nicey”. One of them “Does a lot of work for charity”, but, “Doesn’t like to talk about it”. Of course he finds time to mention it in every show, I seem to remember him depicted as a deity of sorts tending to sick children in one sketch. Or was that Michael Jackson at the Brits? I forget.

Anyway, the point is giving your time or your money to charity is to be applauded. But then telling everyone about it makes people wonder about your motivation for giving in the first place.

Take for example Jimmy Saville, he used to be very high profile in his promotion of children’s charities/hospitals. In itself this was great and his style. He has quite a unique style :). But then again there’s another celeb, I think it was Norman Wisdom (apologies if it isn’t him), who would quietly slip into his local hospital, put on a porters uniform and simply work as a porter. Each to their own.

So there we are, back to motivation again. I’m not saying that either style of giving is more or less valid or useful to the causes in question, just different.

OK so the choice of present was not the most heinous of sins, but it does make me feel uncomfortable, even now.

Do You Like Big Boobs?

It’s increasingly difficult to separate online life and real life at the moment. I know we’ve talked about it before but lately I’m at the point where I couldn’t give a stuff if I merge the two.

Suze on the other hand is less than enthusiastic about that idea. She’s right of course, we both have responsibilities and families and friends. Any of those pose a problem when it comes to “coming out” about AlexSuze.com. It’s quite weird actually, it’s the banal things that cause the acutest embarrassment, the little slips. If you’re an adult blogger you’ll know what I mean. Someone will ask if you’ve heard a certain term or ever seen a certain type of website and you’ll answer “yes of course”.

The big stuff you can often laugh-off. It’s a common practice in my office for example to pick up on any double entendre and tack on “dot com” because let’s face it, if it has a sexual connotation there probably is a dot-com to cover it. I find it’s at that point in the conversation I look at my most guilty because I’ve probably viewed that very site at some point in my online life.

I find that circumstance even more embarrassing than today, standing in the sex shop with Suze asking me questions about who manufactures such-and-such a sex toy, and me knowing the answer as we search for interesting items for our up-coming reviews. Honestly, I think they’ve noticed we aren’t buying toys at the sex toys emporiums in our area any more and just using them for hand’s-on research with a view to our next review. I suppose I’m comfortable with it because of the number of conversations I have with Suze, suppliers and others within the adult industry about toys, DVDs and wot not.

I think the most amusing time was when the conversation in the office turned to porn stars. The lads in the office (it’s an all-male office) all expressed a preference for a natural breast. One of them expressed the opinion that he hated seeing porn stars with increasingly larger breasts, something that only a decade ago was unusual. I commented that I felt porn stars were under pressure to stand out and the big-boob route was an easy and obvious way to do this.

Then came the question.

“OK, Alex when did you last speak to a porn star?”

Having spoken to two porn stars the previous week I had two options …

Dirty Slut?

Does it really work, getting together with someone you used to have a wonderful relationship with and the years have passed since then?

I think we have all had times in our lives when we had the opportunity to meet up with an ex and rekindle what we once had. I know I have and I’ve also had the chance via Friends Reunited to meet up with old school friends.

A word of warning “Don’t” expect it to be the same as it was. The years can change people significantly. I once met up with a girl from my school days, she was one of my best friends back then. A quirky girl with a good sense of humour although a little gullible at times which gave her charm.

She got married moved and I lost touch. This girl was kind, caring, principled and would be there for you if you needed her. All I can say is she changed, circumstances or time or whatever it was turned her in to something unrecognisable.

Lets call her Laura for the sake of this post. Laura married a guy we both knew from back when and he was a bit of a soft touch as I remembered. Not quite the type the girls at school would queue up to go out with, even so he was always fun and friendly.

When I travelled down to meet her I realised this guy hadn’t changed at all, he was doting on her and obviously loved her despite her nasty traits.

She was nothing like the Laura I had spent so many hours getting to know, growing to love as a friend. I’m not sure why but I never fancied her, anyway I digress. She had turned in to a bit of a bully and sloven, I recall her husband who worked to keep them both asking if he had any clean underwear to go out in and she replied NO. That will always stick in my mind, how can you not find time during your week at home to put the washing machine on.

My boyfriend and I were staying over for the night with them both. After dinner it was decided that we go out locally Laura, her husband, my boyfriend and myself, agreeing to meet up in the local pub later.

This seemed like a good idea my boyfriend knew her husband from school and it gave Laura and me time to catch up on things. Little did I realise what she had planned.

Instead of going to one of the local pubs, she had me drive her to a new housing estate and park up outside a semi detached house. When I enquired why we were there she said that her friend lived there and did I want to go in for a drink.

Not what I had in mind but I followed her up the driveway. She knocked and a guy came to the door. On reflection the best I can describe him as is an over weight Dermud Gavin from memory. Don’t hold me to that, it’s some time ago.

We went in the house and another guy appeared from the kitchen. He was quite dishy, tall dark and handsome with a lovely soft Scottish accent which got me horny straight away. I know! 😉

No females in sight and it soon became apparent that Laura was more than just friends with this guy. They embraced and kissed in front of me without so much as batting an eyelid. I was shocked but played it cool. “Suze, this is Pete and the other guy is Jason”, offered Laura. “Hi”, I said hesitantly.

“I may as well tell you before you ask. Pete and I have been seeing each other for about a month now.” She explained. Not that I hadn’t already guessed that she had a bit on the side there.

“Right”, I replied not knowing what else would be appropriate.

I think Gary sensed that I was a little disturbed by the scenario and offered to show me his organ. Don’t laugh. I followed him. It was in his bedroom, a single room at the back of the house.

He was a very accomplished player, having the talent to be able to play something by ear. Quite incredible really.

He started to play hits of the moment and I sat on the end of the bed and listened intently. Pete brought up a few beers and left us to go back downstairs, to Laura. After listening to Jason play his way through a whole chart rundown and consuming a few beers I began to relax and mellow a little.

Jason was quite an interesting guy and a looker too but I was in what I thought was love with my boyfriend so he wasn’t going to get past first base with me. It turned out that he was down visiting for a couple of weeks but lived up in Scotland and was studying computer science. Despite his choice of vocation he wasn’t at all boring. Lol

He stopped playing and came to sit next to me on the bed. We started to talk some more and then I became suddenly aware of strange noises rising from the living room below. They stopped and I continued to talk. Then again they started…it was moaning and grunting.

I couldn’t believe my ears. They were only fucking downstairs in the living room. I walked out on to the landing and looked down in to the open plan room. She had her skirt up to her waist and he had slipped his trousers down and was fucking her on the sofa missionary.

It wasn’t a particularly attractive site and I went back in to the bedroom to talk to Jason who was fiddling with his organ. Don’t!

We let them finish in a monotone vocal orgasm and then went downstairs. I can’t remember how I managed to get us out of there but I did and we went to meet up with the guys. There was a deadly silence in the car on the way. I just couldn’t find the words to talk to her.

I spent the rest of the evening regretting having agreed to visit her and when I got home I vowed never to speak to her again.

Some months later I heard that she was pregnant via the grapevine. I wonder who’s baby it was and if she is still with her husband. You will never get me to a school reunion after that experience and strangely enough I don’t wonder what happened to any of my old friends any more. 🙂

 Don’t forget to vote for me here.

Take A Peep At Suze

I have been registered with 25peeps for over a year now and in first place for a good deal of the year, so thanks to those who clicked the little link in the sidebar. The one saying “Click Me Pick Me“, if you never tried it.

Well, the listing has reset and is using a different format so I decided to resubmit myself and a new picture for you all to letch at. Click the link here and see if you can tell which one is mine.

I’ll wait while you go and take a look and come back here to tell me which you think is of me. 😉

Lets see if you can show me some love put me in first place…

I’ll be so grateful that I may just…

Amazing Sex

Long time readers will know that I experience a form of synaesthesia . In my case this manifests itself in me “seeing colours” whenever I experience intense sensation. This can make for some amazing orgasms.

Last night we made love twice. The first before we watched a film, the second afterward. The first time was very enjoyable, as it usually is. The second was something special.

I was very aroused and without going into the detail, Suze was enjoying my vigorous thrusting attentions very vocally. As I felt the orgasm building within me, coinciding very nicely with her final climax of the evening, I knew something was different.

It was a whole body thing. I suppose what people into Tantra describe as a whole body orgasm. I’ve had similar before, but my orgasms are always different. Both in intensity and the depth of synaesthesia I experience. My body was, well the best way I can describe it is charged, with sensation. I felt that my skin had turned white and was crackling with green sparks as I came.

My cock was hyper-sensitive. More so that you’d normally expect after ejaculation. Even as I came inside Suze I became aware of this. Until each thrust was thrillingly agonising. Did that make sense, I often have trouble expressing these synaesthetic experiences in words.

Eventually I came to rest inside Suze, holding her, shuddering, even the slightest movement of my penis against her soft, wet passage sent waves of searing white pain through me. I was gasping and holding her tight. Afterwards she said she thought I was sobbing and was a little concerned.

Eventually I withdrew from her, it was like someone was applying an electric shock to the back of my neck. I can still feel it now, the memory alone is making me shudder.

The cool air on my wet penis was enough to make me shake.

Phone Sex!

Note: In the UK 1471 returns the number of the last caller to your landline

Riiiing … Riiiiing

“Hello?”

A hiss, a scraping sound.

“Hello, who is this?” Impatient.

A zip being undone. Clunk.

“Is this a crank call?” Petulant.

A distant, male, voice “You want it don’t you? Take them off.”

“What the f ..”

Distant muffled “Oh yeah slowly.”

“Mmmh?”

A gasp, female this time. “Ooh stop teasing, put it in.”

“Aaah!” then a deep grunt, male, muffled.

“Look this is fucking sick, I’m hanging up.” But I don’t.

“Mmm, slower I want to feel you slide in and out.”

“Do you get off on this?” Intrigued.

“Yes.”

“Really?” Amazed.

“Yes, yes, yes.”

“Oh, I see. Hello, I can hear you .” Shouting, amused.

Male now guttural, ejaculatory uttereneces “Argh, uuurggh!”.

“I’m going now …” I hang up.

A voice, received pronunciation, says “Telephone number 0, 7, … called, today, at, 18, 16, hours”

NB: For those of you who were wondering, no, this is just a bit of fun. The idea came from a conversation I had with a friend the other day. And no, I’m not telling you what else we talked about 😉

Holiday Fuck And A Lazy Day

It was great to wake up this morning and not have to jump out of bed to the sound of the alarm. In fact there was no alarm this morning, it was fantastic.

I stirred before Alex as the sunlight illuminated the curtains. The birds were singing and the cat was sitting next to the bed vocalising his good mornings to me. No he wanted some water. Lol Our cat has to drink from the bath tap, don’t ask me why but he just does. So when he wants food or water he sits by the bed and tells me so.

At this point Alex began to awaken and put his arm over me as I lay on my back. Then he gently but firmly squeezed my left breast a couple of times. Was he feeling horny?

The cat had wandered off and I closed my eyes and began to drift off in to sleep once again. Then the hand started to roll my nipple and my breast started to tingle. It felt good and soon I was in the mood for some holiday fun.

I reached my hand over towards Alex’s groin and it met with something warm and firm as I brushed across what must have been his erection. Then without warning Alex raised himself up and eased his way between my legs.

Yes, I had read the signs correctly. He was feeling horny too. What a wonderful feeling it is to be able to indulge in early morning sex without rushing to avoid being late for work. I felt a smug smile play on my lips as I thought about my colleagues having to go to turn in to the office.

Alex was eager and pushed his hard cock between my lips. He managed to trap the left one and pull it in. I reached between my legs and freed it up. One of my favourite things is to reach down and feel Alex’s cock as it works in and out of me, to feel his erection warm, wet and hard as he fuck me. Then giving his balls a gentle squeeze, which drives Alex crazy. 😉

I wrapped my calves around Alex’s back and held on to his shoulders, meeting his thrusts with my hips. Penetration was deep, aided by me being partially raised from the mattress. But I needed more movement. I reached back behind me and took a firm grip of the headboard with both hands. Alex continued to fuck me hard and picked up momentum as I called out to him to fuck me harder.

Grabbing the headboard tightly, I was able to fuck him back. I thrust in to him, taking every millimetre of his cock deep inside my hot pussy. My tits were now bouncing up and down against my chest and hypnotising Alex. He leant over me and took my hard nipple in to his mouth and gave it a gentle bite.

“Ouch!”, I called out gripping him harder with my legs. His breath was now rapid and his face was set deep in concentration. “I’m coming”, I exclaimed as I arched my back in to my first orgasm.

Alex fucked faster and I could feel the increased moisture wet against my pussy as he pounded in to me, my come lubricating his every move. His cock was so hard and deep inside me that he grazed my cervix and I let loose my grip to enable him to continue without damaging something. Lol

Then another orgasm worked its way up from my feet and in to my lower back, I felt warm and electrified as I came for a second time. His cock was now slick with my come and pounding in to me with remorseless need.

Alex arched his back as I looked up at him, took on a pained look about his face and his eyes rolled back in to his head…

…then he released a loud howl and ground in to me slow and deliberately as he shot his load inside me. On the last deep thrust he shivered, then pumped a couple of shallow thrusts as he drained himself of his last drops of come.

Nothing can compare to watching a guy ejaculate…

…well, perhaps a woman orgasming on my hand but I haven’t done that for a while.

Adultery At The Pub

We went out for lunch yesterday at our local hostelry. Pint of Black Bull and a local burger, so fresh it was still mooing. Suze had the cod and chips. We sat outside as the weather yesterday was great. The pub’s across from the local church, so the aspect is pleasant making for a restful meal.

A group of hikers sat behind us while we were waiting for our food. Seven men all in their 30s and early 40s. Salary men by the sound of it.

They were all office workers, you could tell, making fun of the venerable and ever-pleasant barman in the pub. Because of course they are from the city, and these yokels … you get the idea, my hackles were up. I work in an office but I don’t see my self as better than anyone else who has a different lifestyle. The barman for example works 14 hour days and longer at Christmas, he’s always welcoming, no matter how tired he is and today he looked ready to drop. The Pub’s an old stone building with bad ventilation. The kitchens seem to heat the whole place through so it felt like a furnace, and still we get a cheery smile and banter when we walk in.

Anyway, the boorish blokes moved off the barman and onto village life in general. Various cringe-worthy Cornish-Cum Norfolk accents followed attempting to poke fun at the village inhabitants. I was amused mainly due to the fact we live in Yorkshire, not deepest “Mummerset”.

Anyway, on to the real point of my post. The men, I’ll use the term for want of a better one, started showing off about how they spent their respective company’s expenses when on business trips. Then they moved on to what they got up to/got away with regarding the wife and extra-marital activities.

It started “innocently” enough, with chat’s about, playing on the Play Station 2 at each other’s houses until 3am in the morning, with one (absent) member of the gang’s wife ringing up to check he was there and he was not boffing someone else. “Oh she’s jealous”, commented one of the group. “She’s reason to be”, said another. Apparently this was a regular occurrence for the absent associate. He hand a wandering eye/hands.

The conversation then degenerated into jibes about each other’s sexuality, what they’d get up to while away on business trips given half a chance and eventually the price of first class train tickets.

My question is this. Why do I.

  • Not feel the need to spend masses of time away from my partner, rather than enjoying the moments I spend with her?
  • Take advantage of my partner’s trust and seek out other female company?
  • Spend the time in the company of men talking down to and about anyone who isn’t a city dwelling, white male Anglo-Saxon desk jockey?

I grew out of that sort of small minded, mutually back-slapping behaviour when I was a teenager.

It perplexes me that in the UK we seem to have a section of society that regards avoiding work, responsibility and commitment as a way of life. Indeed a laudable goal. Will these people ever grow up, or is this country destined to be populated by sixty year old schoolboys preoccupied with “getting away with” things until they draw a pension.

Sorry if that wasn’t very coherent in places, they really pissed me off.

And the picture? A blackbird I saw in the church grounds across from the pub a couple of years ago. Cute huh?