Monthly Archives: April 2008

Sex Online

Brit BlogIf you have been reading our adult blog AlexSuze.com since it’s inception just over 3 years ago you will know that we have been trying to register with Britblog. They are a British bloggers listing and for some reason they wouldn’t accept us on to their directory.

We wondered if they thought we weren’t British or perhaps we were too British, we even have the Union Flag proudly displayed on our banner. But for some reason we had attempted to join twice and were turned down without even an email to say we had been rejected or why.

So we mounted a campaign to bring our quest to light and posted about it several times on AlexSuze. Still no response despite my email to them. We gave up.

That was until February this year and we tried one more time to get registered with them and we waited…

…then finally out of the blue they emailed us to say we had been accepted on 13/04/08. Needless to say we were elated that after all this time we had been accepted as a British blog.

The jubilation wasn’t to last for long.

I checked out their site on 23/04/08 to see that they had closed it down. It seems that they have been deluged with spam over the four years they have been going and the final straw was when they were hacked just recently. Yesterday they had a page explaining the problems, now they have reduced the site to one page explaining the issues they’ve faced.

We don’t believe it, we waited for almost 3 years to be accepted. Then we are added for just 10 days before they have to shut up shop.

However, now we are running things over at Adult Blog Hub we hope to see some of the adult bloggers who were registered with Britblog come and join us. The more the merrier, it’s just like a bloggers orgy over there.

Click this link to join Adult Blog Hub and join in the fun.

RIP Britblog we will always remember you.

Tags: Britblog, BritBlog, adult blog directory, blog directoriy, sex blog directory

Moonlit Sex

Luce D’Argento

Full moons do have a strange effect on me. I like the moon, it’s always held a fascination for me. Long time readers may have noticed. Which probably explains the dream I had…

I was in the garden naked, save for a pair of Lycra shorts. The air was warm and fragranced with summer grass. It was just after sunset, a red-orange glow still played across the clouds on the horizon to my right. The hills in the west were black silhouette’s against this fiery backdrop.

The wooden fence at the foot of the garden was gone, replaced by a wall of undergrowth about one and a half meters high. Beyond was a forest of oak, beech and lime. It was one of those dream moments where you know that you’re dreaming, but you don’t care. There is no forest at the bottom of our garden, just the tall oaks, a country lane, then arable fields.

I walked towards the vegetation and pushed my way through it. Feeling the bramble thorns pull at my skin, feeling the roots and fallen leaves beneath my feet. For a moment I felt a resistance, like I was pressing against an invisible film stretched in front of me. I pushed harder and broke through it, or rather it passed through me. As it did so it seemed to strip something away from me, it cleansed me, of what I was not sure, but it felt like a cold breeze had blown through me. Or perhaps I had taken a plunge into Lake Vostock, the dark, icy, pristine water washing the real world from my soul.

It was deepest night, the glow in the west suddenly extinguished. I was alone in the forest surrounded by the tall trees, clear white moonlight piercing the canopy here and there. I did not look back, the house would not be there, I knew that.

About one hundred meters ahead was a clearing, picked out by the moonlight on the leafy carpet. Obscured by the intervening trees it was presented to me in a series of vignettes. There was something curled up in the centre of the clearing, bathing in the luce d’argento.

Its mane was pale, its shape indistinct and as variable in form as the colour of oil on water. Looking at it too intently seemed to cause it to change as if the weight of the gaze from my eyes were imbued with mutative energy.

I was on the edge of the clearing now, blinded by the seemingly increasing brightness of the light in the clearing. Two steps in I stopped. The figure rose to its feet, white mane cascading down its back. It was a woman, some fifteen centimetres shorter than myself in a translucent white and grey dress. About my age, or so it appeared, and yet with long, straight, white hair.

Her head was slightly bowed. I moved forward, step by step, needing to see her at close quarters, my curiosity overwhelming my growing trepidation.

As I reached arms distance from her, she looked up. Her skin was pale as if bleached by the moonlight, yet it was not insipid, rather it glowed with energy. I stopped and stared into her eyes, orange-yellow corneas stared back at me. Fear froze me to the spot.

For a moment my veins ran with icy water.

Then she spoke, “Come with me, it’s almost time.” Her voice was clear and rich, not the lilting elfish trill that her appearance might have suggested. My blood thawed and flowed again. She took my hand and led me towards a path that seemed to open before us between the trees. My arteries were filled with a gushing torrent.

The rushing in my ears increased as we quickened from a walk to a slow run, then to a full pelt, hell for leather dash between the trees.

I looked across at her. Her hair was dancing behind her head, bosom bouncing as she ran. Her feet made only the lightest of contact with the ground. As were mine I realised.

I turn forward again, only to feel a stinging blue pain as a twig on a low branch grazed my cheek. I jerked my head to the side, caught my foot on a tree root and tumbled forward, rolling twice before I was off again on all fours. Running faster than ever, ears pricked and alert. Nose sniffing the wind that rushed past my muzzle.

My pads skittered across the soft moss and leaf floor of the deepest forest until we reached the lake. It was still, like a millpond. La Luna’s full face perfectly reflected from its surface.

She trotted towards me nuzzling my neck with her head, thick coat rubbing against mine. She nipped me, I snarled. We rolled on the grass at the lakeshore, mouthing but not biting, me asserting my dominance until she was cowed, prostate below me, naked now, white hair arrayed around her head, those strange eyes looking back into mine.

I was proud and erect, pinning her down with my hands and legs. Erect phallus pressed against her stomach, a hot rod of literal and figurative masculinity pulsing on her abdomen. She bared her teeth, almost a smile but transforming mid-motion into a snarl, canines slightly too long for a human mouth.

She kicked and rolled under me, I fell to one side. She crawled across the grass on all fours her pale-skinned round ass framing the moist pussy hair that was visible between her legs. I grabbed an ankle and dragged her back. She laughed as I pinned her down from behind.

She raised her buttocks, offering easier access to her needy loins. I pulled her to all fours and slide by cock between her legs. Not inside her yet but rubbing on her clitoris through the wiry meadow of her mons. Her buttocks were pressed against my waist, her legs clamped together while I slid in and out.

Then out, out, back and higher before the plunge into her. Long and slow, too long. It feels like I’m falling into her, mile after mile. No penetration has ever felt like this, inward, inward, further and deeper. Until eventually I reach the hilt and she groans.
My hands move from her waist to her shoulder. I push her deeper onto my cock, as if that were possible, and grind into her.

I lean forward and around her to rub her clitoris, gathering some of the nectar from there. Then I leant forward, and let her taste herself on my fingers. Her warm tongue savoured the delicacy, her teeth not letting my fingers go, even when they had been licked clean.

I was near now, and so was she. No multiple orgasm, marathon fuck. No positional catalogue of athletic prowess.

Doggy style, in the purest form
Snarling biting, gnashing teeth
Faster, harder fucking deep
She cums gripping joyous spasms
I cum thrusting animal, wild
Teeth draw blood from my finger
My nails bite her skin

And we howl
Our climax speeding across the water breaking the face of the moon into a thousand shards.

Waiting For Boobs

As a youngster I always played with the boys. Not like that you dirty minded lot, well sometimes but I’ll cover that later. I think it stems from the fact that there were more boys including the one next door locally than girls to hang around with. So yours truly partook in many lady like games including, hedge jumping (usually resulting in a destroyed privet hedge), Scalextric, Action man war games (using the figure not computer) and although I hate to admit it, football. I never went in goal but I played.

All these activities I took part in just so that I could be involved not because I enjoyed them. It also had the advantage of allowing me to tackle boys I had my eyes on. Nothing like rolling around in a bit of mud, is there Jen? If we scored I got a kiss and a hug as well, who could ask for more at 10 years of age. LOL

I got on well with the boys and the girls I knew for that matter, always been a bit of a joker and that helps break down the barriers. I enjoyed the company of girls but the down side was the constant falling in and out of friendships, with boys that didn’t seem to happen as much. Girls could be so bitchy and it never settled well with me even to this day I much prefer the office to have more male than female employees. That’s from what I can remember, I haven’t worked for so long. 🙂

In those long hot days of my childhood it wasn’t so much about flirting, not in the proper sexual sense. More the holding hands and liking someone lots type of thing. No, on second thoughts I suppose it was flirting but a different level, the non-sexual level. The pre-pubescent type of showing your pants to the boys stuff. Did I tell you just how much I liked doing handstands. I spent more time in my earlier years upside down than anyone I know. Hehehe.

Yes, fliriting proper didn’t really begin until the day I got my first bra and it was like someone had thrown a switch inside my head. I felt sexy and womanly and everyone was going to know about it. I had two little mounds which really didn’t require support at all, more covering up for decency’s sake. So my nipples couldn’t be seen through my blouse. I would have been about 11 years old. I got the bra’s from a local market. They were nothing more than thin material cups on an all elastic strapping.

But to me these bra’s signified the transition from girl to woman. I don’t even think they came in a size, one size fits all (or most). My posture changed over night too. I must have looked like a duck, walking around with my chest stuck right out so people would notice I was wearing a bra. I must admit today I still get the same feeling of womanliness when I wear suspenders, just knowing I am wearing them makes me feel horny!

I paraded around with these lycra bras on for about three months and then moved on to my first fitted, I’ll say it again fitted bra. I was taken by my mother to be properly measured up and fitted by a professional fitter. Know that is a job I would love to do (makes mental note to look in to job requirements. I enjoy fondling breasts will that do?…) . So there I was in my, I think it was a Playtex bra with pretty pink roses. I can hear you all saying, “well what size was it?”. Ok, it was a…32AA but to me it was a proper size and that’s what counted. My breast size could actually be quantified on a measuring chart.

Well, I strutted around like I was the bee’s knees for days. I even had my top buttons open so that people could see it, whether they wanted to or not. That’s if they haven’t already noticed that I am walking like a duck thrusting my little boobs at them. There was far more padding in those bras than breast but that didn’t matter because I felt like Dolly Parton. LOL.

I used to look at magazines and tabloids and wish for the day when I would be able to wear a larger cup. My breasts changed to an A cup when I was in the second year of senior school but my friends were all ample chested, how I envied them as I watched them change for physical education classes. They would strut around with their plump firm breasts exposed deliberately in front of us less fortunate girls. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the opportunity to see some ample exposed breasts as much as the next girl but I wanted MORE!

When I hit eighteen things seemed to change quite rapidly, my breast swelled and perhaps due to boyfriend activity my nipples were no longer inverted. Hurah! They stuck out like they should. I was now officially a B cup and bloody proud of it. I know nowadays C cup is the norm but back then B was fantastic. Flirt, just watch me go baby! I wore some of the skimpiest lowest cut tops I could get away with walking out of the house past my father.

It worked, I started to get the attention from the opposite sex that I had craved for many years. I would now turn heads when I stood at the bus stop. I felt great, womanly, liberated! Somehow A cup breasts on a 5′ 7″ girl do not feel right and now I began to feel more comfortable with my appearance. Plus, I could now give a better tit wank.

Strange to think now that you don’t even have to wait to grow your own. A tit job just like this can be done quite easily but I don’t think I’ll bother. For those of you who don’t recognise the vision in pink on the left, it’s Lea Walker from the 2006 UK Big Brother House.

Rubbering Up And Taking The Plunge

Back in the 1950’s David Attenborough reported on the “Land Divers” of Vanuatu, who tied vines around their ankles and jumped from wooden constructed platforms. The first modern bungee jump was from the 250 ft Clifton Supension Bridge back in 1979.

The jump was carried out by the “Dangerous Sports Club”, which consisted of four members led by David Kirke. Shortly afterwards they were arrested but went on to jump in the USA from the Golden Gate and the Royal Gorge Bridges.

The first commercial outfit set up by A J Hackett a New Zealander gave the general public the chance to experience the “Leap Of Faith”. His first jump was from Aucklands Greenhithe Bridge in 1986.

Cords used by many commercial jumps are usually factory-produced braided shock cord. This is plain English is made of many latex strands enclosed within a tough outer cover. This cover is applied when the latex is pre-stressed and gives a harder and sharper bounce.

A J Hackett himself and most southern-hemisphere operators use unbraided cords, so that the latex strands are exposed to view. Apparently they give a softer and longer bounce and can be made at home.

Speaking of which, check out this guy, he’s Carl Dionisio he used a 30m condom rope to do his jump.

No rips or tears, perfect protection. 🙂

West Coast Porn

From what I remember porn always used to have a story, or at least attempted a little narrative before the fucking commenced. It was seen as part of the build-up to the main event, whetting your appetite before the main course of sex. The content was different too. Anal sex was less common, pubic hair still existed and natural breasts were pretty much universal.

Now it’s different and we seem to have been through a stage where some studios produce what I have dubbed in my own head “West Coast Porn”. That doesn’t mean the porn is produced in California, simply that the most prolific producers of this genre (if it can be called that) are based in or take their influence from studios and directors based there.

The removal of the story from a porn film and its replacement by a series of scenes, often of a very similar length to one another, means porn that is generic and boring. There seems to be a menu of sexual acts to choose from, which almost always involves a blowjob, anal sex and a final cum shot on the female participants face. Sometimes the participants in the scene are not just aware of the camera but converse with it documentary style before fucking. It is a production line of empty sex.

Porn is porn, but these films are to erotic movies what a medical text book is to an erotic fiction. It shouldn’t be enough to depict the act as this devalues it and removes its ability to arouse.

Luckily the production of this sort of film does not account for the entire content of the shelves in video stores. One British studio recently (Dom Productions) pointed out that specialist and fetish films are their most profitable lines and that the in-out, in-out variety is not even worth producing, for them at least. I certainly have noticed more unusual titles from different studios (like Dom Productions and Harmony) on the shelves at the adult store recently.

Here’s to imaginative erotica and porn movies with passion.

Tags: porn, pornography, West Coast Porn, blowjob, fellatio, anal sex, cum shot, money shot, fetish porn, fetish pornography

This Girl’s Gone CFNM Wild

Once upon a time I had no idea what CFNM acronym stood for. The best part about it, is that I have unknowingly taken part in this activity. Not just once but several times in public, as well as at home. 😉

For those who are currently shouting at the screen, “what the fuck is she talking about?”. CFNM, stands for Crazy Female and Naughty Male. Haha, no I’m just kidding. It stands for Clothed Female Naked Male.

CFNM encompasses many different flavours of this activity, including exhibitionism and domination and erotic humiliation. I will be picking up one thread with this one but if you want to read up on the subject, there is some good reading and links to be had here, CFNM

Do you get the scenario now? I’m not sure what percentage of the female poplulation have been to see male strippers but I guess it would be quite high. I started to go with female friends in my early twenties. Boy, did we have some fun nights out. It truly was “Look out boys!”

The first one that I went to was in the backroom of a nightclub and about 99.9% female audience. I chose a seat near to the back behind a pillar. Silly me thought I would be safe there. After all the stripper is going to “play” with the girls at the front. Uh, uh! Not the case. It seems they target the more reserved members of the audience. Girls just like me! (Well, I had to be young and naïve once. LOL)

We got ourselves seated with drinks and waited for the party to commence. The first stripper made his entrance to girls screaming, whistling, clapping. The noise died down and he began his routine. I can’t remember the music he performed to but I do recall he was dressed as a Fireman. That light my fire straight away, I love uniforms and naked men. So, Naked Men + Uniforms = A Happy Suzanne. 🙂

He gyrated and generally played up to the ladies on the front row, who were dieing to get their hands on him. He threw off his coat, tore off his shirt and lowered his braces. All to the mad cheers and whistles from the front row.

Then he jumped down in to the audience and started gyrating his groin in front of the girls sat at the tables just to the front of where we were sitting. He eventually gestured to one of the quieter ladies that she could pull his trousers off. She grabbed hold and ripped them clean off his body. Don’t you just love Velcro?

The girl’s face was a picture, she went bright red and tried to cover her face with her hands. She was giggling wildly and her friends were egging her on. She was clearly a Striptease virgin, just like me.

Mr Hose continued to circulate the room, giving a girl a rub here and allowing a hand there. He was now walking around sporting a…now don’t laugh…knitted dinkle and not a small one at that. I assumed, as you do, that it was stuffed because he was a very blessed man in deed. 🙂

My heart skipped a beat when I noticed him home in our table and sure as hell he stated to make his way over. I began to wish that the earth would open up and swallow me whole. (I know, that’s just how innocent I was). Paula, glanced at me with a look of terror as the guy reached our table. I smiled nervously as all heads turned to look at our table. My face started to become very warm and was probably glowing like a beacon.

Paula just sat rigid in her seat, hoping not to catch any attention as he siddled up behind me. He was now rubbing up on my back and at one point I think I got it in my ear. He moved to the side of me and started to gyrate his hips, his stuffed cock warmer swaying from side to side. He then began to motion towards his groin with his hand.

I took up the queue, even though embarrassed and probably still visibly glowing. After all with everyone watching and urging me to remove it, what else could I do. He was now stood with his hands on his hips, pelvis tilted in my direction and smiling.

I reached out my right hand and firmly grabbed hold of the tip and began to pull. Ahhh! He cried out. “That’s my cock!” he exclaimed. Strange he wasn’t smiling now. It transpired that what I thought was a creative bit of knitting, was him. Now, I was glowing.

So, any ladies out there fancy a night on the town with me?…

Tags: cfnm,Clothed Female Naked Male,Male Stripper

Getting Down To Earth With Sex

Solar Senation VibeToday is Earth Day and you just can’t miss it if you have been on Google. Lol We all need to consider the planet and what effect we are having upon it. Everyone needs to strive to preserve the beauty this world holds for our children and our children’s children.

I decided to crawl the Internet to try and find some sex aids which fall in to the “Green” category and I was pleasantly surprised just what is out there.

One area that could be overlooked is the glass toy, what could be greener than a reusable and recyclable glass dildo or butt plug. There are also some stunning designs and colours, making some of the works of art. In addition they are easy to heat or cool for added sensation and can be cleaned with ease.

Why not wood! Sustainable wood can be used to produce toys of high quality. I found this naughty little paddle whilst hunting around it’s made from sustainable timber by a fair trade project in India. And there are no splinters.

I also found a solar powered bullet vibe, the one at the top of the page. The Libida Solar Sensation takes around 8 hours to fully charge and then provides up to 2 hours of sexual enjoyment. 😉 And if you don’t get much sun, just like over here in the UK, then it will also charge with artificial light and so long as you charge it when the lights would have been on anyway it’s just as green.

What do you do with all the old tyres which currently are very difficult to recycle? You make them in to a lovely paddle. I kid you not…check out this site these paddles are a must have for any spanko and I bet they leave an attractive red pattern.

And you can’t have a bit of naughty fun without the use of a good lube, that’s what I always say. Lol This one is not only green but it isn’t tested on animals either.

Now go and spread your love all over this planet. 😉

Tags: Earth day, green sex toys, environmentally friendly sex toys, solar sensation vibe, soalr sensation vibrator, solar sensations vibe, solar sensations vibrator

Vintage Sex Story

AmeliaIt’s not the way you look,
It’s not the way that you smile.
Although there’s something to them.
It’s not the way you have your hair,
It’s not that certain style;
It could be that with you.

If I had a photograph of you,
It’s something to remind me.
I wouldn’t spend my life just wishing.

A Flock Of Seagulls, Wishing (If I Had A Photograph Of You), Listen, 1983

Chris slid the photograph album out of the carrier bag and laid it on the desk in front of him. It was bound in a deep red, textured leather save for the spine and corners that were finished in black. It smelled faintly musty, but was otherwise almost perfect.

It appeared unused, each cream-coloured page immaculate and only the occasional brown spot betraying its antiquity. He enjoyed the thought that the object in his hands had, through some accident of circumstance, remained inviolate for over a century entombed in the bottom of a chest or at the back of a cupboard.

He closed the album and lifted it to place it on the bookshelf next to his desk. He was surprised when a piece of heavy yellowed paper fell from between the leaves and landed on the carpet. It was a photograph, he had seen a flash of the image though it now lay emulsion side down. He placed the album on the desk and retrieved the print.

The back, written in copperplate, read; “Amelia, Nottingham Forest 1892”. He flipped the print over to view it. It was a picture of a young woman, dressed it would seem in the manner of the late 19th century. She was standing amongst oak trees, presumably in Nottingham Forest. The paper was slightly yellowed, though not badly, it must have been concealed between the pages of the album since it was taken. The print was sepia, not black and white and vignetted by the inadequate optics of the enlarger.

“Amelia” was looking coyly down the lens of the camera, her thick tresses worn down. Unusual for the period.

And something was not quite right. It was subtle and it took a moment to register. Amelia was not quite wearing her dress. She was in the process of slipping it from her shoulders. “A little gentleman’s relish.”, thought Chris, smiling to himself.

She had a beguiling look about her. Her eyes were deep and soulful, her skin a perfect ivory. The heavy velvet dress seemed poised, ready to fall to the floor at any moment. Its green velvet folds hung like a teetering avalanche of fabric.

Green? Chris blinked, he was tired. The sepia photograph looked back at him. Or at least Amelia did. He felt unable to put the photograph away, back in its leather bound sarcophagus.

Her eyes held his gaze, her chestnut red hair shining in the autumn sun. The shadows around them both were lengthening.

“Christopher” she said, voice deep and velvety, “I cannot hold this dress up much longer. Is that the last plate?”

He stood on a carpet of last year’s leaf mould and freshly fallen oak leaves. A mahogany tripod and camera were attached to the other end of the shutter bulb in his left hand. “Er, yes I think so.” Replied Christopher, confused. “You’ve nodded off you idiot” he told himself “Well, enjoy the dream”.

Amelia’s blue eyes burned with the light of Burmese sapphires as Chris walked toward her. A smile played across her lips when she noticed his gaze drop to her full chest. “Christopher, please!”. She blushed, but more out of duty than embarrassment. Good manners demanded she be modest.

“Oh, sorry. You just have wonderful breasts.” Replied Chris.

“Now really that is too much” she flustered. But her eye’s betrayed her true feelings. Her breathing quickened and she became acutely aware of her own heartbeat. “Now please fasten this dress.” She demanded, attempting to feign indignation while feeling the tingling between her legs. Nobody had ever been so forward with her, nobody had dared. Despite herself she wanted him to be that bold again.

Chris stood behind her and was about to fasten her dress when he saw the curve of her shoulders. He felt himself leaning forward and placing a single kiss at the junction of her shoulder and neck.

“Ah! Christopher!” objected Amelia, with little conviction. Her legs felt like they were about to give way.

Chris’s hands grasped her shoulders and turned Amelia around. He took her head in his hands and kissed her on the lips, full and passionately. His tongue pushed gently and inexorably into her mouth, finding an inexperienced partner within. Inexperienced but willing and eager to learn.

Amelia’s hands dropped to her sides, allowing the dress to fall in a heap on the floor. Her hands slid around his waist and pulled him close, only his linen shirt and her undergarments separating their burning flesh.

Their mouths parted. Chris looked into Amelia’s eyes, then up and down her shapely, rounded frame. His corduroy breaches contained his pulsing desire, for now.

She turned her back to him and bent over, straightening the dress into a sort of makeshift blanket. The sight of her firm round arse, covered in cotton bloomers excited him even more. He unbuttoned his flies and freed his erect cock.

Amelia, still bent over, looked over her shoulder to see Christopher, manhood rampant, poised to pounce on her. Her mouth opened to an O’ as he pushed her forward onto all fours.

He immediately knelt behind her and tore down her bloomers, the soft cotton shredding under the onslaught from his frenzied fingers. The smell of her sex was overpowering, her desire was as strong as his, hidden under the thin veil of society’s expectations of a gentlewoman. The delicious aroma of her pussy could not be disguised.

Her hands grasped at the dress and litter on the forest floor, both for purchase and the sensation this provided. Her fingers dug into the soft earth, almost clawing at it. She was utterly wanton, desiring to be taken by this strange man who she had met … when? It seemed only a few moments ago, yet she seemed to remember him asking her to pose for him …

… no matter she could feel the tip of his cock pushing its way through her light brown pubic hair. Now he was parting her labia. She licked her lips with the very tip of her tongue.

Chris pressed forward, into her waiting pussy, feeling every hot, wet contour filling her completely, then stretching her a little. She writhed underneath him, holding back the urge within her that wanted to scream out her lust. Instead containing it, whimpering, letting her social conditioning stifle the voice of her passion.

Chris could sense it. It excited him even more and at the same time infuriated him, spurring him to thrust into her hard and deep, making her arms collapse under the pounding. Her face was now amongst the leaves, chestnut hair spread around her head.

It was only when they both came, together, long and with an animal growl from Chris that she once again raised her face from the leafy carpet and screamed at the top of her voice.

The waves of pleasure ebbed, their breathing returned to normal. They held each other.

As Chris looked at Amelia her eyes began to loose their colour, but not their haunting quality. Her skin took on the colour of velum. He held up his hand and he too saw and felt the colour drain from himself.

Perhaps it’s not a dream? He thought. But if not what is it?

~~~

The album sat on the shelf in the antique shop for ten years before its next owner stumbled across it.

“Yes madam, it’s from a house clearance in the village I did several years ago. You may remember it, Young man Christopher Evans, just disappeared one day …”

Cheeky Cheeky!

Gabriela IrimiaNovelty pop acts pop up the world over, but in mainland Europe they seem to have a talent for the absurd. I’m talking about the Cheeky Girls here. They were hardly ever what you’d call serious music, not that being fun is in itself a bad thing, but they do seem to define what it is to be novelty pop stars.

I was amazed to hear that one half of the duo, Gabriela Irimia, was dating one of our more flamboyant Liberal democrat MPs, Lembit Öpik, and now it would appear they are engaged to be married. Lembit apparently proposed next to the Trevi Fountain in Rome and the love-struck, diminutive, Transylvanian songbird accepted.

Quite what this will mean for Lembit’s career is uncertain, will he continue to be an MP? It would certainly make party conferences more interesting. Or will he move into entertainment, perhaps do backing vocals for the Cheeky Girl’s next album?

Sorry, I couldn’t resist, it sounds like a strange pairing to me, but they have been together for a couple of years (I think) now so let’s hope they prove me wrong and live happily, and cheekily, ever after.

You can find the Cheeky Girls on MySpace here and send Gabriela your congratulations

Lembit doesn’t appear to have a MySpace acount …

Tags: Cheeky Girls, Gabriela Irimia, Lembit Öpik

Pussy Power

Our cat is very protective of his territory. Unfortunately there is only one of him and we have houses either side of us that have two cats each. The cats on one side gang up on him, but despite this he always takes them on when he feels they’ve over-stepped the mark. Each of the antagonistic cats is twice his size and he often comes back home with scratches, fur under his claws and (as he did last week) his collar missing because we think he lost it in a fight.

It occurred to me how similar our little moggy is to a protective woman. If she thinks another female is trying to muscle in on her patch she’ll do anything to ensure that she stops the interloper getting her man. I saw it at a party once, a relative’s wedding in a room above a pub. The drink had been flowing and one woman, attributed with a “colourful” reputation had been chatting, or as his partner would have it flirting, with an attached man.

It took four people to separate them after the confrontation and ensuing cat fight.

The power of love! Or hormones and instinct, you decide.

C’mon ladies, what would you do if a woman made a move on your man?

Or a move on your sex toy for that matter. hehehe

Suze Needs Sex

I have been writing this blog with Alex for the past 3 years plus now and although it is a huge commitment for us to produce 3 posts per day, we love it. To be honest I can’t imagine not doing it now it’s become such a part of my life.

You see I enjoy sex and all things sexual so much that I need to share that with you all. Make you a part of our lives together, documenting every aspect of our sexual discovery together.

Never did I imagine that I would be reviewing sex toys for you all and giving you the low down, deep and dirty. 😉 In fact I’m currently waiting to take delivery of something which is coming all the way from America.

Needless to say, I’m excited about it and as soon as it arrives I will be letting you know what it is. 😉

In the meantime, take a look at my latest review of the Squirmy and yes it did make me squirm.

This is exactly what I like about being part of AlexSuze, sharing and enjoying together. Don’t we make a perfect team.

Tags: sex toy reviews, adult toy reviews

Small Pink And Hits The Spot

It’s quite and unassuming vibrator, the Japanese Squirmy from Doc Johnson and again the design and functionality did intrigue me.

Now for the technical rundown on this rabbit vibrator:

The Squirmy has 9cm of insertable length with a girth at its widest point of 12cm.
It takes 3 x AAA batteries
There are 3 speed settings for the clitoral rabbit but believe me you won’t need to turn it up to full 😉
And there are 3 G-Spot massaging speeds
In addition, the G-Spot function can be set to reverse action too
It’s Phthalate free and waterproof, I can see bathtime just getting better and better 😉

I love this vibe!

This toy is ideal for a first timer, it’s not designed to be challenging size-wise and it certainly hits the spot. Further more it fits neatly in to most bags or purses as you may know them, not many vibes will do that.

After all the beauty of this vibe is not it’s size but just how well it does what it is designed to do. Let me explain…

…I decided to take the Squirmy to bed on my own to warm myself up for a good fucking. 😉 I’m a multiple orgasmer, I always say why stop at one when you can have two, three, four…

It was still light outside so I drew the bedroom curtains and closed the small window, so that the neighbours didn’t get a chance to join in the fun. Lol I pulled back the duvet and slipped out of my jeans and shirt. I kicked my socks off and pulled my panties down and cast them to one side with my other clothes. No need for the bra so that went too.

Completely naked I slid between the duvet and mattress. It was cold but I was anticipating it wouldn’t be for long. 😉 I turned on the television to help mask any outbursts I may have during my onanism.

Alex was downstairs washing up the dishes from lunch and I could periodically hear him opening cupboards and putting dishes away. This soon faded from my reality as I took hold of the vibrator.

I reached between my legs to carry out a moisture test. Conclusion, I was wet. The television had nothing interesting on so I switched to DVD. On screen came Lex Steele, my does he have a huge cock! I digress.

Lex is busy fucking Monica Sweetheart on top a glass table and I’m running the vibe up and down my slit, picking up the available moisture which had gathered there. I then push it up between my lips and press the massage button once. The vibe slipped nicely in to place without any lube, which is why it would be a good one for a first time toy user. The key to this toy is in its clever massaging properties and not it’s ability to fill your pussy.

At first the massaging tip made no impact on me as I sat with it placed between my legs. I lay back against the mattress and pulled my PC muscles tight and gave the button one more click. That’s when the action got to work on my G-Spot. I could feel the sensation I normally get from Alex’s cock or fingers as they run over my vaginal wall. I knew it was hitting the spot because I began to want to pee, which is a sure sign that my G-Spot is being stimulated.

It was warm, or I was, and I pushed the duvet back on to the top of my thighs. I pressed the rabbit button just once and FUCK ME! That rabbit is one of the most powerful I have had the pleasure to test on my clit.

One more press on the rabbit button and I was pulsing away, my clit was enlivened immediately. A word of caution, this vibe isn’t quiet but that is a trade I’m willing to make for the stimulation provided by this pink sensation.

Lex was ball deep in Monica as I opened my eyes briefly to get some visual stimuli to help me on my way. I was so close now. My pussy was resonating with the powerful beating of the rabbit on my clit and my G-Spot was being massaged in to submission.

I started to gently rotate the vibe from side to side, only slightly. This had the effect of rubbing over my clitoral hood and making my pussy ache. I placed my right foot over my left ankle and grasped my buttocks together as sparks climbed up my spinal column and I twitched as my climax took me over.

My whole body almost lifted off the bed as I had the most powerful orgasm. And I think I let the world know too as I moaned out loud. I felt the orgasm dissipate and I powered down the vibe, eyes still shut to enjoy the moment.

A kiss pressed upon my lips as I felt Alex leaning over me, I breathed in his aroma deeply and opened my eyes. I could make out the firmness of his cock pressing against the denim groin of his jeans.

He moved round the bed and I heard the familiar sound of his zipper being lowered as I placed the wet vibe on my bedside drawers…

Rabbit vibrators don’t have to be big to hit the spot 😉

Sex On The Office Desk

SuzeI wrote a few days ago about how I met Alex via work and we managed to keep our relationship quiet so nobody knew we were an item…I had a boyfriend and things could have become messy.

You can read the whole story here to catch up. I’ll wait here for you. 😉

Despite not getting down the actual dirty deed on my boss’ desk due to practical reasons, I always too practical for my own good, we did get down and dirty on the carpet by his desk.

And I suppose a desk can be quite hard on your back, your vertebrae must run on the leather and wood. So, I opted to get a carpet burn instead. Lol

I’m wondering if the editorial department of the News of the World read this blog because they have managed to get a story from The Apprentice’s Jennifer Maguire’s ex boyfriend in which he describes them having sex on the boss’ desk or should I say if you actually read the story it was the Boardroom table.

See the full story here.

Our Boardroom was always locked so there was no way we could have frolicked on that but what a superb place to fuck, it would have been like doing it on a Queen sized bed. 😉

I have checked out the Boardroom at my current place of work and it contains a very large snooker table.

Now there’s a story! 😉

Just to keep you going here’s my video of the Squirmy G-Spot vibrator.

Sex And Drugs And Websites

Some UK newspapers have recently made a stand against the adult services industry and now refuse to take adverts for escorts and massage parlours in their personal ads. While this sort of policy does show the press making a stand against people the people trafficking that can be associated with some of these operations it does very little to stamp out the real problem of organised crime making money out of the misery of the vulnerable.

Banning the advertising from the print media not going to be effective at removing the scourge of criminal gangs from our streets. Anyone can see that advertising in a newspaper is like a criminal sending a note to the police to say “Hello, we’re on this number, call us and we’ll tell you where we’re operating so you can come round and arrest us.” There is a far cheaper and more anonymous medium on which to advertise the services of your unfortunate employees/slaves. The Internet.

As if to prove that police in London raided at 26 addresses in Paddington and Surrey this morning. Part of operation Gib the raids involved 110 officers and aimed to rescue 60 foreign nationals who had been smuggled into the country to work as prostitutes for organised crime gangs. The criminals have been detained in connection with trafficking, controlling prostitution and money laundering.

The women are now in protective custody and being given access to medical and social care, and support from specialist police and non-police personnel.

The Web is not a good or bad thing, it is a tool and like any tool it can be abused and used for evil. People trafficking is pure evil and I for one hope that operation Gib (and other operations like it currently in progress around the country) every success.

Getting Wet For Him

It’s a while since Alex and I engaged in some watersport fun. This weekend is a long one for us so I think a little pant wetting naughtiness may ensue.

Only a little preparation is required, we both need to stock up on fluids. Urine is almost ordourless when plenty of fluid is taken onboard. It makes the whole experience more enjoyable and if you are feeling adventurous you could try tasting it.

I just prefer to watch as he stands before me in his boxer shorts and pees himself in front of me. White shorts are the best for this as they become transparent once the urine starts to flow from the tip of his cock.

There is something so arousing about a guy trusting you and feeling relaxed enough in your company to just let himself go and urinate in front of you. I love to watch as the water twists and turns down his inner thigh finding the quickest route to the floor.

Alex likes me to wear a pair of light coloured panties and sit expectantly waiting for the first drops to leave my urethra. His eyes widen as the crotch becomes wet, wetter and then sodden.

I’m turned on just watching his face as the warm stream flows down my leg and onto the plastic sheet, gathering in a pool between my legs.

Enough talk…I need to go just thinking about this is making me HORNY!. 😉

Tags: urophilia, watersports

Getting To Grips With Hooters

Hooters Girl - I have just heard that the American chain of diners is attempting to set up a second outlet in the city of Sheffield. They currently have one other diner in Nottingham and have tried to settle in several other counties in the UK without success.

In an attempt to thwart the opening of a Hooters in Sheffield an online petition has been raised and various members of the public and local traders are raising awareness in a bid to stop the diner opening.

The claims being made are that the whole thing is degrading to women and that as part of the contract you have to sign that you don’t mind derogatory comments being made about you by diners. This enraged the campaigners.

It makes me wonder just how they will be able to go about their recruitment campaign should the go ahead be given. Will advertising stipulate that you have to be well endowed in the chest area to be employed? Because over here you cannot specify exactly what candidates you require, it is classed as discrimination.

Given that lapdancing clubs are springing up all over most cities these days is this such a big deal? Although you do have to pay a fee to enter those establishments and the totty isn’t openly on public display. Are children encouraged to frequent these establishments? Perhaps our American readers can enlighten me.

If you haven’t already heard of Hooters you can check it out here.

I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing but I would love the opportunity to sit and eat and ogle busty girls. After all that’s what I do all day anyway. 😉

Tags: Hooter

Big Brother Sex Tape

Chanelle HayesContinuing with the A-Rouse theme of questionable sex tapes you might want to play the video in this article. Don’t worry, it’s not long and despite the content warning it’s not explicit. It’s also not Victoria Beckham. It appears to be Chanelle Hayes, who purely by coincidence has a new series on VH1 shortly.

No sign of a Jade Goodie tape yet though. If we find one we’ll let you know.

Tags: Sex Tape, Victoria Beckham, Chanelle Hayes, Big Brother