Monthly Archives: May 2008

Suze Gets Down And Dirty With The Pros

I bet you can’t guess where we have been this weekend. Go on I’ll give you Brits a clue…

…did you guess right, we have been down to London, and not to see the Queen. We attended this year’s hot Passion event held at Earls Court, London and it was Grrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaat!

We met so many fantastic people and some of my idols, who I’ll tell you about later. Alex got to interview, photograph and touch up some love girls. Ok…well, not so much of the touch up but he did get up-close with some naughty girls. 😉

It’s the longest that we have been away from blogging in a while and although it’s nice to have a break when so much of your free time is devoted to dishing out naughtiness. I have to admit that I missed not being online and sharing the details there and then. And the cat is only just speaking to both of us.

One thing is for sure there are going to be some great posts coming up on here and and some new toys to feature on our sister site Sex Toy Buzz.

Watch this space as we share with you.

Tags: Passion, Passion Show, Passion Show 2008, Earls Court

Pantie Pickup

Horny set the ball rolling the other day with her pantie slip up, we all set to recalling embarrassing underwear related incidents.

I told them about the time I worked in a male dominated office and my padding fell out of my bra without me noticing. As I talked to my colleague stood by the side of my desk it came in to my peripheral vision.

A white nylon kidney shaped insert was laying on the floor next to me. I don’t know how I managed to do it but whilst talking and keeping him occupied I managed to scrape the padding under my desk and out of view. 🙂 Probably one of my most embarrassing moments even though I wasn’t busted on that occasion.

Busty then joined in and told us about the time she left her washing out over night in the garden. The following day she forgot again to bring it in and as night fell she ran out to retrieve it, collecting it up and placing it in her washing basket.

The following morning she kissed her boyfriend before he left the house, had breakfast and the opened the back door to find something interesting sitting on the doorstep. Her panties. It seemed that she had dropped something in her rush to clear the washing line.

When she got back in the evening from work she was greeted outside the back door by her boyfriend returning home from work too. She put the key in the lock and looked over to her right to see her next-door neighbour in the adjacent house smiling at her.

She walked in to the house and asked her boyfriend if he had put her panties on the doorstep as he left that morning and he knew nothing about it. Only one explanation remained, the guy in the house nextdoor had put them there.

“Were they utility panties or nice ones?”, I had to ask didn’t I. Lol She replied that they were fortunately a fancy new pair she had just purchased. I replied that she was lucky to get them back then. 😉

Fuck! Where Do I Put All These Sex Toys

I thought I would consult my dear readers and ask this question of them. Where do you store your toys so that little fingers can’t find them? I’m sure there are many parents out there reading this blog regularly, so who better to ask.

Just how do you manage to keep your toys safe from the children, who as we know can be very inquisitive and resourceful. You may wish to be open minded and bring your children up in an open relationship where you feel they can approach you with any real life questions but the line must be drawn at bedroom revelations.

There are some things that you just don’t want to share with your offspring I’m sure.

The reasons I ask this question of you all is that there was an article on the news last week about a vicar who became incensed by his local shop stocking Playboy pencil cases in bright girlie colours next to obviously childish ones featuring Pooh Bear and other children’s characters.

He apparently threw the products to the floor in rage and got himself on to the national news as a result.

His opinion on this is that these products are not acceptable to be marketed to children and therefore making the Playboy empire and all it stands for “acceptable” to young impressionable children.

What do you think? Should these products, given what they represent be sold to minors?

Shagged Out

SuzeBy the time you read this we’ll be on our way back from the Passion Show at Earls Court in London. Avid readers will of course now say “What! You were at Passion!”

Well yes. Sorry for not letting you all in on the little secret, but we decided when we started AlexSuze that we would keep our identities secret to ensure that we could write without restriction. It would have been lovely to post about it, but unfortunately that would have invited disaster. I’m sure some of you will have attended Passion, or may be doing so today and therefore might have spotted us.

This little omission from our daily posts was necessary. So what you’ve been reading for the past 24 hours or so was posted ahead of time.

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll have come back with lots stories, news and new things to review.

See you all later. It may be much later as I’m sure we’ll both be pretty much shagged out by now.

Sex Changes …

Sex changes … pretty much everything.

Sex is one of those things that finds a place in its life outside most individual’s control. When you’re an adolescent it at the forefront of your mind most of the time, displacing logic, common sense and good judgement as you seek out sexual encounters at every possible opportunity.

Your first time can, by definition, only happen once. There’s a before You and an after You. The first time you have sex changes you and makes you into a different person. Whether that’s a better or worse person is up to you. Sex isn’t unique in this respect, but speaking as a man I know that it was rather high on my agenda when I was navigating that stormy sea called puberty. The phrase “singular preoccupation” probably sums it up. LOL

There are other firsts in your sex life that mark the evolution of this party of your personality. Getting a long term partner, experimenting with positions, role play, maybe BDSM, they all happen at different rates for all individuals and couples. It’s difficult to imagine a relationship where D/s and BDSM forms part of the first date, unless you meet on that is. Normally these things take time and a rapport that only comes from a more committed couple.

It’s a pity that some people only take a few steps into the world of sex. Maybe they’re happy. I’m not saying ignorance is bliss and discounting their limited sexual exploration as meaningless. A loving relationship and straight sex that satisfies both partners is just as valid as swinging from the chandeliers every night. In fact it’s probably more valid than constantly demanding more and more exotic and diverse experiences from your physical relationship. This can put strain on even the most committed of partners as your expectations exceed their ability or willingness to deliver the next level of sexual pleasure. It can also smack of desperation, a couple trying to put back the spark that was there at the beginning of the relationship by pushing boundaries.

Suze and I have developed slowly, over time. Though in the last three or so years (since we started blogging) have been developing rather more quickly than before. What we had at the start of our relationship was what everyone had, excitement, the adrenalin rush that occurs when you set out in any relationship. There is a point however when that excitement wanes and must be replaced, not by novelty and cheap thrills, but by a stable and fulfilling long-term relationship.

Sounds boring doesn’t it. Well, it isn’t. Long-term means being able to look forward and know the years are going to be filled with fun, enjoyed with someone you love. Stable means you both know the boundaries you have both agreed. Fulfilling does not mean making do, it’s about finding new ways to express your love, both physical and emotional love, in fresh ways.

Our real life together is currently enriched by our online life. They complement each other and while they are sometimes difficult to reconcile, the challenges that this brings and the fun of being able to indulge our sexual sides without guilt is very liberating.

BBC Sex Scandal

Bearing in mind that the only viewing of television I get apart from the odd bit of evening entertainment including the must view Apprentice series running currently on BBC1 is the morning and evening news, I do find it entertaining. I know that sounds a little boring but when I get home from work I’m either involved in writing daily posts for the site or reviews and having sex of course!

This leaves little time to watch television and really that is no big loss because I don’t want to watch most of the crap on there anyway. It does however leave me at a bit of a disadvantage at work…the conversation occasionally moves round to “Did you watch…” and I have to say “No” and then I find myself hunting for exactly what I was doing and making up why I didn’t see that “gripping” crappy series on television. Lol

My mind is on other things…SEX, for one thing.

I did start to thing of a pornographic film plot for some of the presenters of the early morning news though. Lol

I was imagining Bill Turnbull fucking Susanah Reed whilst I play with her clit and watch them both. Then I get interrupted by Sian Williams who wants me to finger her, very demanding she is. Lol Bill is really going for it and I’m now approached by Fiona Bruce…grrrr! She is one horny bitch.

Then out of shot came Carol Kirkwood with her weather slot and her ample chest, I persuaded her to hurry her weather forecast, remove her bra and rest her ample boobs on my face.

And you don’t want to know what Fiona did to me.

I know this is just me dreaming but hey, what a dream…

Tight Jeans

When is it acceptable to stare at a woman’s arse?

I was at a client yesterday and one of their male staff was apparently staring at the backside of one of the female staff. Not glancing, staring. Not attempting to make out it was anything other than a full-on letch by someone who was old enough to be the girl’s father. Just watching intently.

Appreciating a woman’s body is one thing but to stand watching in a rather creepy way (as he apparently did) …

Funny isn’t it, for whatever reason, maybe the type of person he is (not the most popular in the office for a number of reasons) I find his conduct repugnant. Yet I look at porn all day.

It’s all down to consent again I suppose, she didn’t consent to be ogled, she wasn’t dressed provocatively and therefore “gagging for it”. It’s the “Eeeeewww! What’s going through his mind?” that is the problem here I suppose.

Double standards? Hypocrisy on my part? I hope not. If someone willing puts themselves in a position to be ogled and I ogle them then it’s different from this situation.

Panties, What Panties!

We have all been rushed off our feet this week at work and barely had time to speak to each other let alone exchange naughtiness. 😉 Horny attended a refresher first aid course this morning and came back telling us that there had been a couple of nice guys doing the training.

She said she did the CPR and left a lipstick circle around the dummies mouth. I giggled and she said “I can’t go out without a bit of lippy. I had to give her a good wipe after I finished with her”. Well, that tickled Busty and me and we nearly wet ourselves with laughter. Horny has a habit of coming out with amusing things without realising what she said.

Horny then remarked how the dummy had reminded her of the Real Doll she had seen on the program the other night and said she was finding it hard to keep a straight face. Then she said “And do you know they had one of those dolls on that had boobs and a dick”, she remarked becoming quieter towards the end of the sentence.

Busty admitted that she had seen them too. Suze then jumps in with her size 15’s and says “Oh, you mean a ladyboy”. They both laughed and nodded their heads, I then finished off by saying “I think they are known as shemales”. “She knows all about it”, retorted Horny. I thought it was a good time to be silent, too much information and knowledge may lead to suspicion.

There I go again wondering if they may guess that I write adult posts. Lol

The rest of the morning passed quite uneventfully, typical Thursday morning, that was until Horny stood up and walked round her desk to go to the toilet.

I had one of those double take moments not quite believing what I saw. There was something pale blue making it’s escape from her left trouser leg. It was hanging just below the hemline and on to the top of her foot.

“What’s that”, I called out pointing to her foot. She looked down and then said “Oh shit! It’s my pants”. Busty, Horny and I all fell about with laughter as she retrieved a skimpy pair of panties from the bottom of her trousers.

“I took these trousers off the other day and threw them over the chair in my bedroom and forgot all about my pants being inside them”, Horny revealed.

“Bloody hell! It’s a good job this didn’t happen while you were on that course this morning”, I added and once again we all cracked up again.

I Love Your, Tongue Action

I love your love action
Lust’s just a distraction
No talking, just looking
Watching your love action

Love Action, The Human League

Well sorry Phil, but I have to disagree. Talking is a huge part of the attraction between you and your partner. I love to hear women speak, particularly if they have an attractive voice.

What makes a voice attractive to me?

Well, it can be an accent. For example Irish, French, Italian, Spanish, Australian (some, not all), American (again some, not all), Newcastle (some), Scottish, Dutch, Scandinavian accents … Hang on, I like a lot of accents. Or is it that I like accents a lot? Probably the latter.

Some accents give me goose bumps, others make me smile and put very, very naughty images straight into my head. I’ve tried to work out why that is and I really can’t pin it down. I know some of it has to be association, either with experiences I’ve had, or attractive females with whom I associate a particular accent. There is no simple explanation though. The attraction and the reaction I have to accents is not quantifiable and seems pretty instinctive.

The response is, I suppose, Pavlovian in that it is learned, but subconscious. Suze knows me very well and has even been known to point out a woman with a particular accent just to see what my reaction will be.

It’s not just the accent either. If you take the grammar and syntax used by different nationalities, when speaking in their native language, or in English, a beautiful uniqueness is revealed. Sometimes the order of words is changed, in other cases even people from different areas of the UK use words and phrases that are unique to their locale.

I also have another weakness, for lisps. Corny I know, but it’s true … Suze really takes the Michael out of me on that score.

There has to be a name for accent fetish, though the nearest I can find is Xenophilia, attraction to foreigners. Anyone know what it is?

And to finish, another 80s track

Stranger emotions in mynd
Changing the contours I find
I’ve seen them once before
Someone cries to me

Oh, the look and the sound of
The Voice
They try, they try
Oh, the shape and the power of
The Voice
In strong low tones

The Voice, Ultravox

Tags: accents, xenophilia, Love Action, Himan League, Phil Oakey, Ultravox, The Voice, Midge Ure

Porn And Coffee

I found myself wondering, over a cup of mid-morning coffee, which porn stars I’d like to meet.

I decided that the one thing they have to have is personality. It’s too common to see girls, often very attractive, simply oohing and aahhing for twenty minutes, taking the pop-shot and waiting for the director to shout cut before showering and asking for their cheque. What really makes me want to meet some porn stars is that they either a) seem to genuinely enjoy the work and/or b) have a fun personality.

It’s the same criteria that I apply to other social interaction. So, proof once again that porn-people are people like everyone else. LOL

Blowing Your Own

No, we’re not talking about auto-fellatio, OK I suppose metaphorically speaking we are. If you missed it we’re really proud to be having one of our videos featured at The Passion Show at Earls Court. The Magma Phoenix Video has been really popular on YouTube and via ASTV. If all goes to plan you’ll be able to see the demo on the Passion website and screens at the event.

Actually all of our videos are doing well, so well that we’re approaching 250,000 views, not quite there yet so we encourage you all to watch them all hehehe.

In addition to that there will be a special announcement on tomorrow about our new site

I think we’re often too “English” when it comes to publicising our sites. Well, that’s what Suze thinks anyway, so there you go, a huge plug for A-Rouse and Sex Toys Buzz. 😛

Black For Lovin’?

Fun Factory CurveHere’s something that just occurred to me. Does the colour of a sex toy dictate how effective it will be?

I don’t think that’s as silly a question as it first sounds. Think about it. When you’re indulging in foreplay with your partner colour plays a huge role, well it does for me at least. I’m not just talking here about my synaesthesia, I’m talking about the colours that everyone sees.

Take this as a scenario. You’ve taken your partner out for an intimate meal, you wine and dine them, the rich ruby red of the Cabernet Sauvignon contrasting with the ivory of her skin. The dancing yellow-white candlelight is reflected in her blue-green eyes. The single diamond resting on her chest on it’s gossamer thin chain refracts the light into a million colours.

When you get home she removed her red satin dress, the fabric flowing from her body like a red river of light to reveal a black basque and stockings. Her cheeks flush pink as you take her into your arms, her chestnut hair is released from its ponytail and you guide her to the waiting, clean, white bedsheets …

As I said colour is very important to me.

So although the sensory experience of using a sex toy might at first be thought of as tactile there are other senses involved. Not least of these is sight.

The shape of a toy is important and an elegant toys is far more appealing than one that looks like something out of an Argos catalogue’s kitchen appliance section. However the shape of a toy can be determined by touch too so two senses are involved. Colour can only be seen.

Toys can be fun and/or functional, realistic or abstract in form, and colour plays a huge role in defining how you think of a toy. For example a cock-shaped dildo is pretty mundane and maybe a bit daunting to some women, even a bit too literal in its shape, but make it a bright colour and to many people it becomes a more friendly, approachable item.

There are some generic toys available in high street stores in the UK that are manufactured in semi-abstract phallic forms and pinkish PVC. These fall between the two camps of fun and functional and I think fail to deliver to either potential customer, they are boring and way too conventional when there are so many innovative and arousing shapes out there.

While brightly coloured toys are not everyone’s cup of tea, manufacturers like Fun Factory make some bright and friendly looking toys which I suppose are targeted at the first time user. Toys are about indulgence too, and when it comes to style, neutral and secondary colours seem to me to be the best at conveying this.

White, for some might be clinical, but to others look clean and bright, greys and blacks always look a little more classy, signalling that you’re about to indulge your sense in a selfish and decadent way. Purple (like the Fun Factory Curve) looks opulent.

The toy pictured is the Tuyo Vibromasseur, reviewed here by Suze.

Tags: Synaesthesia, colour and sexuality, colour and sexual attraction, Tuyo Vibromasseur, Fun Factory Curve, sex toy design, sex toys

Twitter Your Masturbatory Pleasure

I posted about May being Masturbation Month way back in mid April, you can read up on it here. I’ve been doing my bit to help the cause, I don’t think I have missed a day. 😉

I’m all for making masturbation open and shared by couples, it can be very arousing watching your partner jerk off and you can learn some good personalised tips too. ;0 After all if you want to give your guy a good blow/hand job his input is imperative, don’t you think?

Well, now Twitter have taken up the challenge and have teamed up with Masturbate-a-Thon and are inviting members to post up their masturbatory encounters or “Twittergasms” on the site under their profile. No need to worry that your non participating readers will find out, only other participants following the Twittergasm profiles will be aware just how naughty you are.

I’ve always been a strong advocate of sharing as you know so go ahead and let us all be part of one big blow out. If you haven’t already got an account with Twitter so you can join in, just click here.

I was thinking of going one step further and letting you see mine on live webcam, what do you think? 😉

Tags: Masturbation May, Masturbation Month, Masturbate-A-Thon, Twitter, twittergasm, twittergasms

Lets Talk Sex Doll!

I was quite amazed by the topics of conversation coming up at work as I mentioned in yesterday’s post. Most of them are started by me or Busty but today we were both a little taken aback by Horny.

She said in her quest to find Coronation Street…”Yawn!”…Ok, it’s not quite my cup of tea…she found a program about sex dolls. She took me by surprise with this one, I though she was going to tell me some dastardly plot line in Corrie but no.

Busty and I stopped what we were doing to listen. “I can’t see why they want to…you know do it with one of those”, she went on to explain.

At this point Busty added that some people are lonely and need to have sex.

She then started to tell us that she had seen a program with a guy who had a doll then found a girlfriend and he was trying to get her used to his old flame, much to her disgust apparently. Lol

“Because she was as heavy as a real girl he had to move her about on an office chair”, Busty continued much to Horny’s delight, she couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

I added that it would be amusing to see the postman struggle with a crate containing a life sized Real Doll. Now what would you tell the neighbours when that arrived and had to be stored in their garage until you arrived home from work. *giggle*

Busty then added that in the same program another guy had worn out the pussy in his doll, he had bought her some years ago and her joints were loose and so was her fanny. “He sent off for a replacement fanny”, she added giggling. “You can do that you know…buy spare parts for those dolls”.

I acted surprised and had to hold back from letting on that Alex and I had reviewed the Gina Lynne doll recently. There are just some things you cannot share with your work colleagues, don’t you think? 😉

Strangely enough I can’t wait to find out what the topic of discussion will be tomorrow.

Tags: Real Doll, sex doll, sex doll review, Gina Lynne, Gina Lynne doll

Morning Wood The Easy Way

JildoThere’s another chance to catch the review Suze did of the Jildo over here at

Jildos are beautiful objects of pleasure, made from sustainable resources by the very lovely Jilda.

Keep stopping by for the latest reviews, even better subscribe to the RSS feed over there and find out about the latest of reviews as soon as they appear.

Tags: sex toy reviews, sex toys, adult toys, adult toy reviews

Titty Power

I always knew that boobs had a power all of their own but I just discovered this new bra designed by Triumph International Japan. The reason it looks so strange is because it is an environmentally friendly, green bra in more ways than one.

The bra features a couple of pouches to carry water with you so you don’t have take not so green plastic with you. There is a solar panel that is worn on the front to store solar power. Yes, this is the “Solar Power Bra”.

Triumph spokeswoman Yoshiko Masuda admitted that we wouldn’t quite be seeing the bra in our local high street store soon as “people usually can not go outside without wearing clothes over it.”

This could herald the start of things to come, wearing your own solar powered charging unit sounds like a good idea to me, especially if it can be incorporated in your day to day wear. A little more discreetly than this though. Lol

The Solar Bra can apparently hold enough charge to power a mobile phone or iPod…just think of the possibilities ladies and gentlemen…it could be used to charge your toy batteries too!

Instant gratification on the move. I like it. 😉