Monthly Archives: June 2008

Suze And Her New Vibe

I was intrigued by its claim that it was silent. We all long for the perfect silent bed partner for those times when we don’t want the visitors knowing we are playing. 😉

I was a little surprised and I must say a little disappointed when I opened the packaging that unlike most vibrators this one wasn’t made of silicone, soft and yielding. Instead it was made from a hard plastic.

But the best was yet to come!

The vibe is shaped to stimulate your g-spot with its curved tip. Ok, here comes the techie information:

It has an insertable length of 17cm
A girth of 14cm
Takes 3 x AA batteries, you can see where this is going can’t you…
Silent Vibrations is compact and has a speed control wheel mounted in the base. Unusual but so useful as you will find out. 😉

I decided to try the vibe out whilst writing this review, sat here in front of this monitor. I bet you are wishing I had a webcam on me right now, don’t you. First I opened up the base of the vibe and inserted the 3 batteries required and screwed it back together.

Alex is sitting next to me doing something for the site and trying not to be distracted by me as I load my new vibe ready for action. I’m sitting on my office chair in just my short nightie, it’s warm tonight no need for anything else.

I give the speed dial a quick roll, the vibe starts up and it is amazingly quiet. It just emits a low hum. Am I wet? My fingers slide down between my legs, parting my pussy. Yes. In anticipation my body has reacted in unison with my mind, it wants that vibe inside as much as I do.

Just in case I wet my middle fingers off my left hand and run them up my pouting slit. I know Alex is watching, I just caught him looking out of the corner of his eye. Shall I give him a show? I’m feeling dirty, horny…I’m up for it.

I know he is looking, watching me, waiting for me to push that vibe deep in to my cunt. He may pretend otherwise but I know, how he likes to see me play. Keeping me at arms length as his cock stirs beneath his boxer shorts. Don’t try to hide it, your cock is betraying you.

Leaning back in my chair I tilt my pelvis until my opening is penetrable, feet firmly fixed to the floor. I take the vibe in my hand and move it up and down between my moist lips, coating it’s head. Then with a gentle push I feel it parting me…boy do I feel it parting me. This is where the hard plastic comes in to a life of its own.

It feels hard and persistent as it pushes inside me. I turn the base ensuring that the curved end is inserted against the wall of my vagina, easing in to position on my g-spot. It’s nearly in all the way now and I can feel my pussy being stretched by the vibe, an arousing and satisfying feeling.

The hardness of the plastic feels good inside me a complete contrast to the softer vibes I have used. He is still typing away on that keyboard but I know he is watching, his chest now rises and falls with more urgency than before. Shallow and rapid, the breathing of an excited man.

His boxers now have a prominent bulge at the front and I smile, knowing he is getting off just watching me. A sideways flick of the finger and the vibe comes on. The vibration resonates inside me, deep and throaty, almost bass in its frequency. It stirs me and I feel the blood rushing in to my clit and pussy lips, they pulse with the enhanced blood flow. I turn the dial a little more and that vibe is sending me crazy. I’m not sure if it is the mechanism or the fact that the vibe is hard and conducting vibration so effectively. And to be honest I don’t give a fuck because it is bringing me close.

I take a look at my nipples, they are large, hard and erect, pushing against the cotton fabric of my nightie. Proud and aroused. I cheekily pinch the left one as I rise to a sitting position. I’m now unable to function on the keyboard……………………….

…Fuck! My toes started to tingle and my fingers joined in as the swell of orgasm built and exploded between my thighs. Now he notices… His hand takes my left strap off my shoulder blade and he takes my erect brownish pink nub in to his mouth. I whimper as he bites. “You bastard”, I exclaim with a smile.

His tongue flicks over my nipple and it glistens under the spotlights over our heads. I sat forward on the chair until the base of the vibe is resting on my seat. Alex leans forward with me, not wanting to let go his purchase on my breast. He seems to be trying to inhale my flesh, suckling away on me.

It occurs to me that if I wiggle my hips from side to side…”That feels bloody good”. I can control the up and down speed function by moving one way then the other. How funky is that. At that point Alex turned his chair to face me full on and his cock was standing to attention beging me to let him fuck me.

I turned off the vibe and placed it on my desk, then took Alex’s head from between my breasts and kissed him firmly on his wet lips. Sliding to the floor I took to all fours, pointing my ass at him as I pulled up my nightie to reveal my ass to him.

He didn’t need me to say anything at all. He just slipped behind me and I felt something hard but yielding enter me. 😉

Rock Chick Confusion

Rock ChickWeird how coincidences seem to happen upon you isn’t it. We were out and about yesterday while the combined army of technical gremlins conspired to knock out our site for half the day when we noticed something at the local retail park.

In a car parked in the carpark was a box. Well I say in the car, more accurately it was half in the car and half outside the car as it was a huge battery powered car, apparently for a young girl. The tailgate of the car was tied down with rope and bungees. The name of the toy stood out so much that we decided to detour and visit the toy store to bring you a picture of the vehicle, just to prove that the cosmos did actually conspire to create a freaky coincidence.

Rock ChickNote the name of the vehicle from the pictures in this post, now ask yourself how unlikely it is that we should see something like that a couple of hours before Suze was planning to post her review of the Rock Chick Vibrator on Sex Toys Buzz.

Let’s just hope that consignments of the two toys don’t get mixed up.

Tags: Rocks Chick review, Rocks Off, vibrator review, adult toy review, vibrator review

The Kinks In America

Kym WildeSorry for the title you can blame Kim Wilde for that one. Lol The reason I mention her is because just the other day Alex wrote a post about her and I spotted something on the shelf featuring her at the Sex Shop when we visited today.

But this lady spells her name differently, she is Kym Wilde and she is a pornstar who likes a bit of a spanking. She was on the cover of one of the DVD’s in the bdsm section and it caught my eye. That’s her above.

Another name which caught my eye was Ron Jeremy but spelt slightly different, I can’t quite recall how it was spelled. This guy isn’t the loveable hedgehog that we all know so well, he was a young imposter. I wish I had taken more notice of the DVD now. I’ll let you know next time we visit. 😉

I think the reason I got put off taking more notice was that a girl was looking at the bdsm equipment at the same time as I was viewing the DVD titles. Then next thing we hear is a crack as she lands a whip across his back.

We didn’t know whether to look or ignore what just happened, as not to embarrass them. But now I come to think about it she obviously wasn’t a shy girl. Perhaps I should have expressed and interest in the selection of paddles!

There is always something new to see at the Adult Shop *giggle*

Hentai Girls Surprise

Hentai GirlWe had a little surprise today when we went to the local sex shop.

As the site was inaccessible and we needed cheering up we went to see if there were any new sex toys about. Sadly not, but we did spot something in the DVD section.

They have an excellent range as it’s a large store, but up until now one thing has been missing.


I suppose it must be because of the advent of online video sites providing everything including Hentai anime. Retail outlets (as opposed to online retailers) are always going to have trouble keeping up. In one way their rolling rental business model works against them. While it’s obvious that many customers simply go in regularly and swap one film for the next title they fancy – which provides as constant revenue stream – this means that they end up with a lot of relatively old titles on the shelves and unless they sell-off the old stock to make way for the new the DVDs available start to look a bit stale.

Anyway, not any more because the Japanese invasion is here with about half a dozen titles on display today.

Getting It Up Again

SpamIt’s great to know that when you go AWOL from the blogosphere someone misses you. It makes me feel all warm inside to know that you care. I have just received some lovely emails from people asking if we had stopped blogging and taken the site down.

I say a big thanks to you all. It really makes me feel good to know that I make a difference enough for someone to miss me being around. 🙂

That said, there are some people who you wish would just FUCK OFF! We had been back online only a matter of minutes when they started to spam the site again. These bots just never give up do they, even when you have been offline for half a day they still track you down and fill your mail box and comments with shit.

Oh well I suppose with all the popularity comes the bad stuff too. Lol

Going Down On Me

I think the last 12.5 hours of downtime on the site has proved to me just how much AlexSuze has become part of my life. I’ve been fretting and totally pissed off since we discovered that we had disappeared from the blogosphere.

Have you missed us?

Life just isn’t the same without the interaction I have with you all out there. I mean who else would I confide all my dirty exploits to? Best friends are good but you can’t tell them everything now can you.

It felt like I had lost an arm. Does that sound sad?

We had to fill our time with something, I bet you can’t guess what we did…

…You did didn’t you. We went to bed for a few hours.

Stay tuned because we are going to make it up to everyone, for starters there will be a video of me with my latest toy later on so stay tuned. It’s going to be a fun day. 😉

Wet Breast

Wet Breast
After the technical woes of today I needed cheering up a little bit.This picture helped 😉

Fucked By The Machine

Well, it turns out that a massive data carrier in Berkshire may have experienced a power outage today and knocked out about 200,000 IP addresses in the UK. Of course our server’s happened to be one of them.

It’s rather surprising though as the company website claims they have lots of nice meaty UPSs and backup diesel generators. So you do have to ask exactly how they had a power outage. Maybe they have the same problem that Peter Jones has in the BT ads at the moment.

I would laugh but I feel like bloody crying at the moment. We hate being off-line.

We’re Back!

Sorry about the outage. Our hosting company had “Network Issues” which has cause the site to become inaccessible. We’ve had problems since at least midnight (GMT) this morning.

This is the worst problem we’ve ever had and quite frankly we’re totally pissed off at the amount of time it has taken to fix.

Suze Loves David Tennant

David Tennant
We sat down to watch the first part of the Dr Who season finale this evening. We knew the BBC would throw everything at it and they really did. Very enjoyable, if not the best story and it’s pretty linear and I can’t see much in the way of plot twists, though some have been eluded to in the dialogue so far.Anyway, we can’t wait until next week when the season concludes.But perhaps Suze is more eager to find out what happens more than me.

The reason?

Christopher EcclestoneThe Doctor appears to be regenerating and although I have assured her that I believe David Tennant is contracted for another series Suze is really worried. I didn’t think she was that attached to David Tennant. I knew she liked Christopher Ecclestone, but that’s no surprise, once you’ve had a Yorkshireman you don’t go back LOL.

But David Tennant? She concedes he’s a bit boyish in looks for her, but I get the feeling she’s going to be really pissed off if he regenerates into someone else. She’ll be writing letters of complaint to Russell T Davis.

Feel free to take the piss out of her crush on David Tennant if you wish hehehe.

Tags: David Tennant, Dr Who, Russell T Davis, Christopher Ecclestone

A Blowjob He’ll Remember

They say if you want to know how to do something just ask. And that is exactly what I am doing. I’m asking a guy, my guy how he likes to be sucked.

What I’m hoping to achieve is a users guide to giving the perfect blowjob, because I’m sure there will be girls out there who require a little instruction and advice. I gained a lot of my advice from reading articles and of course the works of Linda Lovelace. 😉

We all have to start somewhere and what we will be revealing are techniques that arouse and stimulate your guy. I could attempt to write this on my own but I feel that input from Alex is imperative as he has been my guinea pig for years.

And lets face it, there aren’t that many articles written on the subject by both the giver and the taker. 😉 To get a balanced perspective on what works and what doesn’t is a good reference point to start from and I only wish I had been given something like this when I first started sucking cock.

I thought this information may be best imparted as a quick interview with my favourite cock of the moment. Lol

Alex is now sitting next to me, just to give you the visuals he is wearing a pair of black lycra boxers (Yum!) and I have a lace shortie on with underwired cups…oh, I nearly forgot it’s red. 😉

Suze: Where do you prefer to begin?

Alex: I like to be licked slow and deliberately, along my length to begin with. Gently taking it between you teeth but not biting hard, just holding it there.

Suze: Do you like me to touch your balls at that point?

Alex: No. When I start to respond I like you to take the end of my cock in to your mouth and tease it with your mouth. The sensation of your tongue probing is what really starts to excite me as you investigate every nook and cranny of my glans and foreskin.

Suze: Does temperature affect the sensations on your glans?

Alex: If you’re talking about just using your mouth then blowing my wet cock is great because the cooling this causes seems to make me even more sensitive. Ice can be good but we’re talking about using just your mouth, right?

Suze: So no extra strong mints either then?

Alex: Minty blow jobs are really tingly on the tip of your cock but a skilful tongue is what really counts.

Suze: So what is so good about using ice then?

Alex: Ice makes you more aware of the blood coursing through your cock. It’s a strange combination of hot and cold, difficult to describe. For me it is usually blue-white but to a non- synaesthete that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. It sets up a sort of tension between hot and cold that just enhances everything that your partner is doing to your cock.

Suze: What about sucking?

Alex: Sucking is not about how hard you can do it but about the feeling of being drawn in to your partner’s mouth. Being devoured I suppose you could say and when you are really hard pushing your cock down their throat.

Suze: So it’s all about deep throat then?

Alex: No that is just one aspect of it. I really enjoy having you suck the base of my cock.

Suze: You mean taking you down my throat?

Alex: No, sucking at the base of my cock while gently gripping my cock with one hand. Then of course you could move on to my balls.

Suze: Do you like it when I suck each one in turn and roll it around in my mouth, how does that feel?

Alex: Of course I like it ( he giggled then). You sucking and your tongue rolling them around in your mouth is arousing and comforting at the same time until you get carried away and suck too hard.

Suze: *Just a moment whilst I slap Alex around the head* Right…

Alex: When I’m really hard licking the length of my shaft underneath all the way to the frenulum then rubbing the frenulum with your tongue makes me squirm.

Suze: Girls I hope you are taking notes. Lol

Alex: And then you start running your teeth across my frenulum. That is unbelievably intense.

Suze: All this dirty talk is making me a little wet between the legs. I need a moment to regain my composure….

At this point do you feel like fucking my mouth, does the desire to take me overwhelm?

Alex: It depends what reaction I am getting from you. If I know you want me to come in your mouth then who am I to refuse when you have given me such a fantastic blowjob. But the orgasm from a blowjob is very different from one I experience when I am fucking you.

Suze: At which point do you feel like stepping up the action?

Alex: It varies, with each blowjob. Sometimes I just feel like exploding in your mouth, then on other occasions all I want to do is bury my hard cock in to your hot pussy.

Suze: How can I make your orgasm more intense?

Alex: By holding me on the brink for as long as possible as this intensifies the orgasm when I do come. One of the best ways to do this is rubbing your tongue firmly across my frenulum while gently sucking the tip of my cock.

Suze: So what do you prefer, spit or swallow?

Alex: You forgot snowballing …

And that’s another post.

Tags: blow job, fellatio, bj, frenulum, synaesthesia, synesthesia, snowballing

Getting Wood Makes Me Feel Good ;)

I had been expecting a parcel from the States for a couple of weeks now and it finally arrived today. While I was at work. As I entered the house and saw the familiar red and white card which the Royal Mail leave I was a little disappointed that I missed the delivery.

As I picked the card up it indicated that it had been left at a neighbour’s house. I felt an instant relief that my wait was over and began to get excited at the prospect of opening it up to reveal its contents.

Our neighbours are wonderful people and I’m sure must be wondering what we keep having delivered to our house. And I’m not telling. 😉 I collected the parcel and took it back to the house, deciding to wait until Alex got home before opening it.

It contained wooden toys, exquisite wooden toys and as I opened the parcel and revealed the contents it was like Christmas had arrived early. I thought the company were sending out one or two items for me us to review.

But as I reached inside the box I removed one box, then another, then another and by the time I emptied the box, there were 4 boxes to open. Each one containing something exotic and interesting to play with.

Have I got your interest? Do you want to know what I got?

Well, you will have to stay tuned and I will reveal all in time. But for now you can see the classy individual boxes they all arrived in above all standing on end like the monoliths in 2001 A Space Odyssey.

Suze says there are good times ahead! 😉

Lesbian Pussy? Big Heart

I know everyone will hate me for saying this about the group Heart but I was introduced to them in the 1980s, not the 1970s. So I know them primarily from the big hair days of 1985-90.

Purists can curse and say that the 1977 album Little Queen was their zenith, they may be right. However I look at the two cherished pieces of vinyl I have of theirs and see Ann and Nancy in lace and hair lacquer, that’s what I remember. I even have their videos somewhere – actually on VHS, remember VHS … But it’s YouTube that has helped acquaint me with their earlier work, a 21st century invention helping me to look three decades back and view them in the Little Queen days.

YouTube is an amazing vehicle for that sort of thing. If someone, somewhere has uploaded the video and you, on a whim want to watch, there it is. It makes the previously impossible, possible. It also of course opens up every video every produced to potential copyright theft. You Tube are cleaning up their act though, have you noticed how many videos have disappeared recently?

Anyway, back to the video above. I was watching the Heart videos on YouTube and realised that this one is a little confusing. Watch it and see how many interpretations of the lyrics you can muster. It all hinges around who Annie is actually singing the song to, don’t you think …

As you can tell I’m having a week of reminiscence and I keep tripping over my record collection. Music, sex and hormones, they are a powerful mix … they certainly were for the young Alex.

Teenage Dreams

Mystery Celeb
Yesterday’s Kate Bush got me thinking about other objects of my adolescent affection. There’s a gold star and a tick for anyone who knows who this is.

Pirate Sex

I find that there’s something inherently erotic about certain eras and the lifestyle that went with them. Maybe it’s the clothes, the music, the architecture, the food or just the mood of society at the time but the though of being transported to another place in space and time always seems to offer up the promise of exciting erotic encounters.

I have to concede that these seemingly romantic scenarios are heavily edited and idealised. Most of human history has been characterised by the majority of the population being more concerned with survival than art, erotica and social pursuits. It’s only the lifestyles of the rich and priviledged that are remembered and recorded with any clarity. Even the upper classes in English society have often been pox-ridden, lice-infested and suffered from high mortality.

Not the most attractive of lives.

But we see what we want to see and believe that because a certain style of dress or certain era has some attractive aspects the others darker facts about it are inconsequential or simply conveniently forget them.

The fantasy of simple escapism is no different from erotic fantasy of course. What would be the point of having a fantasy where you imagined yourself enduring things that were unpleasant, unless that enhanced your appreciation of the fantasy experience.

The reason I mention this is not so much that I have a pirate sex fantasy, but because of last night’s viewing on TV. We caught part of the US version of Wife Swap where, true to form the producers had pitched an obsessive-compulsive house organiser (it was her profession that seemed to have turned into obsession) against a woman and her family who seemed to be determined to be disorganised, dirty and flea ridden, yes they did have fleas. The latter household was being run on the principles that the family believed to be those of pirates.

This consisted of little or no work, cleaning, tidying or social responsibility, but simply dressing up in cheap fancy dress style pirate clothing and carrying cutlasses. Oh, and going ahh-aaargh! A lot.

Bloody losers. The obsessive compulsive was bad enough but the pirates were running away from this little thing we call reality. The reality is that pirates were criminals, rapists, murderers and thieves. And that was just the good ones. They had fleas, lice and scurvy. They were more than likely to end up at the end of a hangman’s noose rather than lounge around their back yard in their retirement drinking Coors as the modern-day pirate family would have you believe.

How do some people manage to get through their daily lives …

Tags: pirate sex, fantasies, OCD

Sex Is Sex Whatever The Language

It occurred to me as I looked over our stats that pictures can convey a message across the virtual universe. The message if made clear and not requiring to translation requires no written explanation at all. Although some cultures do interpret images slightly different to the western world in general.

Then I realised just how many readers we have from foreign climes, this is evident from the number of Google translators used to read our page. It makes me happy to know that I am not just being read by my fellow English speaking naughties but by others too. These include Spain, Egypt, Germany and Lybia to name just a few.

So if you like naughtiness in itself is a universal language which brings us together. 😉 Oohh, I love a bit of porn, porn, yes porn…Sorry I turned in to the woman from Little Britain who runs fat fighters, Marjorie Dawes. Lol