Monthly Archives: December 2008

Opening Up Wide For You

AlexSuzeIt occurred to me just now, yes I’m writing this as the thoughts come to me. This blog is heavily themed around sex and sexuality, most if not all the posts have one subject and that is SEX.

But whilst titillating, inspiring and hopefully educating you lovely people out there, I have a side which isn’t being expressed and that is the vulnerable, caring and loving Suze. The Suze which has a sense of humour and likes to mess around and have a laugh.

There are without doubt sides of me which probably never get the chance to shine through on this site. That said, I would like to ask you all something as it has been playing on my mind for some time now.

Would you like me to set up a new blog where you could approach me on anything, not just sex. The subject matter would be more light hearted and probably safe to read at work. It would give me the opportunity to open up to you in a way I have never been given the chance to do before.

Tell me what you think, do you want me to carry on just being the Naughty Suze or would you like to see more of me. Food for thought…

More Sex On The Beach

Sex On The BeachThe British businessman Vince Acors 34 has now returned to England following the “sex on the beach” scandal over in Dubai where he and Michelle Palmer 36 were accused of having sex on the beach. Acts of public affection are frowned upon in Dubai and they were both sentenced to three months in jail.

They both protested their innocence and fought against the conviction claiming that they didn’t engage in sex.

Acors admits that they did have contact but did not have intercourse and he claims that reports ranged from exaggeration of the facts to outright lies.

Whether you choose to believe Acors and Palmers protestations of being unfairly convicted and imprisoned or not you do have to question Mr Acors statement to the press he says he was “in the wrong place at the wrong time”.

What exactly does that mean? Because to me that says that he was engaged in an illegal activity (in Dubai) and got caught.

Either way I’m sure that his telecoms company which specialises in text messaging will not suffer for the added publicity.

Paris Hilton Sex Tape, Again, and Again …

You would be surprised, or perhaps you wouldn’t be surprised at the amount of comment spam we get. What is quite amusing is that some comment spammers actually still try to get spam through to us with words like Viagra, Cialis, penis enlargement and Paris Hilton Sex Tape in the comment text. As if that isn’t going to get your comment quaranteed or assigned straight to the virtual trash can!

So for all those people who want to see a really amusing Paris Hilton Sex tape, click on the above.

How To Give Him A Blow Job He’ll Remember

They say if you want to know how to do something just ask. And that is exactly what I am doing. I’m asking a guy, my guy how he likes to be sucked.

What I’m hoping to achieve is a users guide to giving the perfect blowjob, because I’m sure there will be girls out there who require a little instruction and advice. I gained a lot of my advice from reading articles and of course the works of Linda Lovelace. 😉

We all have to start somewhere and what we will be revealing are techniques that arouse and stimulate your guy. I could attempt to write this on my own but I feel that input from Alex is imperative as he has been my guinea pig for years.

And lets face it, there aren’t that many articles written on the subject by both the giver and the taker. 😉 To get a balanced perspective on what works and what doesn’t is a good reference point to start from and I only wish I had been given something like this when I first started sucking cock.

I thought this information may be best imparted as a quick interview with my favourite cock of the moment. Lol

Alex is now sitting next to me, just to give you the visuals he is wearing a pair of black lycra boxers (Yum!) and I have a lace shortie on with underwired cups…oh, I nearly forgot it’s red. 😉

Suze: Where do you prefer to begin?

Alex: I like to be licked slow and deliberately, along my length to begin with. Gently taking it between you teeth but not biting hard, just holding it there.

Suze: Do you like me to touch your balls at that point?

Alex: No. When I start to respond I like you to take the end of my cock in to your mouth and tease it with your mouth. The sensation of your tongue probing is what really starts to excite me as you investigate every nook and cranny of my glans and foreskin.

Suze: Does temperature affect the sensations on your glans?

Alex: If you’re talking about just using your mouth then blowing my wet cock is great because the cooling this causes seems to make me even more sensitive. Ice can be good but we’re talking about using just your mouth, right?

Suze: So no extra strong mints either then?

Alex: Minty blow jobs are really tingly on the tip of your cock but a skilful tongue is what really counts.

Suze: So what is so good about using ice then?

Alex: Ice makes you more aware of the blood coursing through your cock. It’s a strange combination of hot and cold, difficult to describe. For me it is usually blue-white but to a non- synaesthete that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. It sets up a sort of tension between hot and cold that just enhances everything that your partner is doing to your cock.

Suze: What about sucking?

Alex: Sucking is not about how hard you can do it but about the feeling of being drawn in to your partner’s mouth. Being devoured I suppose you could say and when you are really hard pushing your cock down their throat.

Suze: So it’s all about deep throat then?

Alex: No that is just one aspect of it. I really enjoy having you suck the base of my cock.

Suze: You mean taking you down my throat?

Alex: No, sucking at the base of my cock while gently gripping my cock with one hand. Then of course you could move on to my balls.

Suze: Do you like it when I suck each one in turn and roll it around in my mouth, how does that feel?

Alex: Of course I like it ( he giggled then). You sucking and your tongue rolling them around in your mouth is arousing and comforting at the same time until you get carried away and suck too hard.

Suze: *Just a moment whilst I slap Alex around the head* Right…

Alex: When I’m really hard licking the length of my shaft underneath all the way to the frenulum then rubbing the frenulum with your tongue makes me squirm.

Suze: Girls I hope you are taking notes. Lol

Alex: And then you start running your teeth across my frenulum. That is unbelievably intense.

Suze: All this dirty talk is making me a little wet between the legs. I need a moment to regain my composure….

At this point do you feel like fucking my mouth, does the desire to take me overwhelm?

Alex: It depends what reaction I am getting from you. If I know you want me to come in your mouth then who am I to refuse when you have given me such a fantastic blowjob. But the orgasm from a blowjob is very different from one I experience when I am fucking you.

Suze: At which point do you feel like stepping up the action?

Alex: It varies, with each blowjob. Sometimes I just feel like exploding in your mouth, then on other occasions all I want to do is bury my hard cock in to your hot pussy.

Suze: How can I make your orgasm more intense?

Alex: By holding me on the brink for as long as possible as this intensifies the orgasm when I do come. One of the best ways to do this is rubbing your tongue firmly across my frenulum while gently sucking the tip of my cock.

Suze: So what do you prefer, spit or swallow?

Alex: You forgot snowballing …

And that’s another post.

Tags: blow job, fellatio, bj, frenulum, synaesthesia, synesthesia, snowballing

Woo Hoo, Everyones Gone Lets Get It On

Kim BassingerI love this time of year but it has really taken its toll on both of us this year. On the run up to Christmas we both came down with a bad strain of the flu virus which wiped us out for over a week. Then came Christmas Day and my turn to cook for all the family.

And one of the visitors on Christmas Day left behind a legacy for both of us…another fucking cold which we both came down with a couple of days later. Next thing I know we are entertaining Alex’s parents because they couldn’t make it Christmas Day.

Then. Deep breath and a sigh. We promised that little nephew could come over during the break and stay for a couple of days. Is there any wonder that we are so knackered! And all this still fostering a sore throat, sneezing and a cold.

Well little nephew just left. The house is quiet. We are both absolutely buggered…

…but I want to fuck like rabbits! 😉

“Alex get your ass in to bed now”

See you all later when we have caught up on a few things.

Porn DVD Alert!

AlexSuzeSuze and I were just discussing last night’s visit by my parents when I remembered the DVD player incident. OK, well potential incident.

A few months ago we bought a new DVD player and moved our old one into the living room. I never connected it up because we don’t watch DVDs down there – if you know what I mean. Well, come on. Even if it’s not a porn DVD why sit up and watch a film when you can lay back and watch in the utmost comfort in bed.

Anyway, because I hadn’t turned the thing on I was in a bit of a position when nephew, who has been stopping with us for a couple of days, got restless and I suggested he watch a DVD. I realised the player might have something R18 in it. I quickly pulled the Scart lead and pressed eject. To my relief there was nothing in the drive.

Sex Play

Sex ToysOver at Sex Toys Buzz they are running a monthly draw for free sex toys, simply sign up for the newsletter and automatically qualify for entry in to the monthly draw. If you are a blogger you can also gain extra draw numbers and a place on the STB Toplist by linking back to the site.

What could be simpler!

This months sex toy giveaway is a his and hers specially for Christmas. There is a Waterproof Rabbit and the latest in sex toy concepts a We-Vibe. And as if that wasn’t enough, you don’t even have to pay for the shipping.

So what are you waiting for go over and register now before the draw at the end of this month.

Just make sure you have plenty of batteries in stock and enjoy…

Small And Green But Ever So Sexy

AlexSuzeIt would be interesting to know if anyone else shares my enthusiasm for vegetables. I love them all, not one do I dislike. In fact I would go as far as to say that a good portion of vegetables make me feel very randy.

I know the after effects have exactly the opposite effect! 🙂

My favourite vegetable which happens to be seasonal at the moment is the Brussel sprout, I just can’t get enough of them. Eating a plate full of the little green gems wouldn’t be a problem to me at all.

Simply rolling them around in my mouth feeling the smooth texture and spherical shape is bliss. Then the bite. I don’t like them over cooked el dente is perfect, just enough resistance offered when you bite in to them.

I’m sure I have a few of you out there cringing at the thought of eating them. And there could be a scientific reason behind this. Apparently we all differ widely in how many tastebuds we have on our tongues, the higher the density, the more sensitive to taste we are. Rendering sprouts bitter and offensive to the palate.

So the next time someone tells you that you are being picky for not liking sprouts you can say that you have a higher density of tastebuds and find them repulsive as a result.

For me they will always be a winner. In fact when Alex and I hadn’t been living together for long I saved some from Sunday lunch and put them in the fridge. Yes, I like them served cold too. Lol

The next day he prepared the sandwiches as he normally did for us both. When I opened up my lunchbox and checked out the filling they had halved sprouts in them. My work colleagues were rolling around laughing.

I have to say that is the most unusual filling I have ever encountered. How about you, do you like your veg?

Bridgette The Midget

AlexSuzeHere’s a tip for all of you who are a little bit under the weather and maybe suffering from a winter bug. Being in such a state can impair your judgement a little, as I found out tonight.

My parents came round for a meal this evening, we didn’t get to see them over Christmas as we were seeing other members of the family so it was nice to finally share some festive cheer with them. Unfortunately we’re both a little tired and suffering from yet another cold. The two are connected, I think we’re working too hard … anyway.

We were talking and my mum mentioned that celebrity big brother starts early in January. Suze and I are not big fans as for the past few years the whole big brother franchise seems to have slipped into a car crash of a programme containing nothing but wannabes and Z list celebs. However, my mum is hooked. She listed a couple of celebs who are apparently confirmed and then said “There’s a small person too.”

“Pardon?” I said.

“Well, erm, a midget.” She replied. Obviously political correctness had prevented her from saying the M word straight out.

“Not called Bridgett are they?” I asked. I could feel Suze tense. Then I realised that isn’t the sort of thing you bring into conversation with your mum.

Mum carried on, obviously thinking I had made a weak joke, rhyming midget with Bridget and it transpired that it’s apparently Verne Troyer, or Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies.

So consider yourself warned.

How Accessible Should Porn Be?

AlexSuzeMichigan sees the enforcement of a new law on the 1st of January, relating to the concealment of adult content in stores or the containment of such material in restricted areas. The law is being contested by those citing the First Amendment.

This law requires that all sexually explicit material has the lower two thirds concealed or are displayed in a separate area to avoid under age customers from viewing them.

Jennifer Granholm the state’s Governor signed for the law which will cover regulation of bookstores, video retailers, magazine kiosks and other media retailers. It will cover magazines, book covers, video boxes, sex manuals, romance novels (what!) and mainstream men’s and women’s magazines.

If this law is not upheld the retailer could face misdemeanor charges, a stretch in jail and a fine of $5,000.

I do have to ask this question in light of the fact that our magazines are now wrapped in plastic covers so you cannot read them or show nipples on the front, why do videos come under this law? I assume adult videos are only sold in adult shops over in Michigan, therefore minors should not be in there, surely.

And as for the romance novels, I usually find that they have very timid covers on them anyway. What do you all think, has the state gone mad? I’m sure we must have some readers out there from Michigan.

Rock’n’Roll Groupies And Rampant Sex

AlexSuzeA recent article on the BBC stated that Rock’n’Roll music, heavy rock to be precise, sells better during times of economic hardship. While that is the sort of thing that you have to prove empirically before making such statements it doesn’t come as much of a shock to me.

Heavy rock is visceral and simple. There is no complex message, no politics, no intellect required to understand most of it. You just let yourself go and feel the music take you over. And of course the last thing you want to do during a recession is think about the real world too much. Get lost in a musical wonderland and the world suddenly doesn’t seem so bad.

I think that’s why groupies exist. You don’t want to idolise someone with a complex message. That would require thought and thought leads to logical evaluation and that leads anyone with a modicum of intelligence to question why they would idolise anyone, let alone a long-haired sweaty bloke who drinks too much.

There are some great public figures worthy of our praise and adoration but few of them are also pop stars and fewer still solicit sexual urges in teenage girls that would have the girls throwing underwear at them.

When you’re pissed off and the world’s turned to shit you want simple answers. Even if the clever bit of you brain knows they are not really the answer just papering over the cracks.

The same applies to a study published a few months go, in the Sun saying that because the price of going out is increasing, compared to people’s earnings and feelings of job-security, many couple were staying in and having more sex.

That’s great so long as they don’t end up having more kids as that is kind of self defeating.

So turn the stereo up and get down and dirty, just take care and fuck while the world burns.

Early Morning Screw With A Twist

Alex and I went to bed absolutely I was going to say fucked, yes I suppose we were. Entertaining family over the holiday period had taken more out of us than we realised. I suppose it just creeps up on you when you are having fun.

By the time we slipped between the covers last night we were done for. We watched a couple of episodes of Life On Mars me whilst sipping a glass or two of red and Alex a tumbler of whisky to chase off the cold we seem to have picked up just after the horrible bout of flu or whatever I had just before the holidays.

I can’t believe that we have been lucky enough to now contract a cold, just as we were starting to feel better. Oh well! At least we don’t have to go to work with it and can stay all snug and warm in bed.

Alex then put some porn on a bit of Viv Thomas that we got from the adult shop. We both settled down and my hand drifted across to play with Alex’s cock in a carefree manner. Within minutes had risen to the occasion and we fucked missionary for a change. It’s a while since I had my feet resting on his shoulders. 😉

After a quick wash in the bathroom we settled back down again and it wasn’t long before sleep got the better of us both. Sated and calm we fell in to deep slumber.

The next thing I knew, I could feel a hand parting my legs as I lay on my left side. Half asleep I manoeuvred to open my legs, aware that someone wanted to access my sex. There was a light tug at my nightshirt and then I felt the warm breath on the nape of my neck, followed swiftly by a kiss. I released an appreciative moan still slightly asleep but awake enough to be receptive.

Warmth engulfed me as a body lay over me, then I felt a push against my pussy lips, parting me and entering my hot vagina. A couple of strokes revealed my lack of moisture possibly due to my cold. Alex withdrew and then eased in to me again. I became aware of a cooling sensation on my pussy, this woke me up.

It felt good and I brought myself to my knees, ass pointing skyward, head in pillow. Alex moved in behind me and pushed against my pussy lips once more. He broke the seal and again I became aware of the cooling effect on my labia.

“What’s that cold feeling I’m getting?”, I enquired in a husky voice. “It’s the tingling lube”, he replied. It felt just like cold air upon your tongue on a winters morning or when you suck an extra strong mint and then draw breath across your tongue. Then the tingle kicks in.

I was becoming more aroused by the stroke. The action of fucking was releasing the active ingredients contained in the lube, creating a totally new sensation. Usually the more you fuck the warmer you become with the friction of flesh upon flesh. This was totally alien but very, very arousing.

As his hard cock massaged my g-spot and my pussy tingled my first orgasm came and had me bucking against his cock. We were now fucking so fast and furious that I had to turn my head to the side to avoid making contact with the wooden headboard. 😉

Alex gave a coupe of stabbing deliberate strokes in to me and then quivered as he came in long languorous ejaculations. His obvious orgasmic thrusting brought me to the brink again and my knees trembled as I came just as his last thrust waned.

There is nothing to compare with a totally unexpected, totally relaxed fuck in the early hours and it’s even better when accompanied by a drop of cooling lube. 😉

Sweet 17 – You Know What I Mean ;)

AlexSuzeI’ve been sitting wandering around the Internet wondering what to write when it came to me via some of the music videos I had as background music.

I think we’re all being pulled in two directions by our sexual desires. Well, a lot of men are anyway.

I can remember as a teenager being attracted to girls older than myself. This wasn’t an Oedipus complex but a purely sexual interest in girls who were more developed physically and I suppose mentally. I’ve always been attracted to a shapely woman, with legs rather than cocktail sticks and hips – as opposed to no hips.

Young and innocent is fine on two levels. Young girls are pretty, generally full of life and unscathed by the physical and mental traumas that we all suffer as we pass through life. Unfortunately a 16 year old girl does not have the depth of character or experience in bed that makes an interesting partner. And you only get that depth of character by having those difficult experiences that give you the scores.

Sex at that age is just that, sex. Exploration consists of racking up numbers, not searching out the boundaries of experience and sensation. You only truly appreciate the joy of sex when you have a little experience, some understanding of the possibilities that interaction with other, both inside and outside the bedroom, offers you.

So while I can understand the constant push towards models who are or look 17 years old I can’t really get worked up about them.

Giving Her The Creamy White Stuff She Wants Is All In The Wrist

AlexSuzeI was making up some Bechamel Sauce for a lasagne this evening when it occurred to me that my wrist wasn’t getting tired. An odd enough thought for most people that something isn’t happening, but think about it. Usually a repetitive action like that will fatigue even the strongest muscles after a while, it’s just the way we are built.

Now admittedly I do have a slim frame so my musculature does tend towards endurance rather than explosive power. That must be part of the answer. However there must be another reason, muscle groups don’t just attain great endurance they have to be worked at.

Then it hit me. Wanking is great practice for using a whisk. I don’t wank at all now. I have someone to do that for me. OK so Suze likes to watch me wank, but if someone’s going to bring me off it’s going to be her and she takes over just as the sap is rising.

It must have been as a boy. You know when you first discover the joys of onanism and begin to exercise your whisking hand constantly. Amazing to think that whether the great chefs of the world regularly practice self abuse they are uniquely equipped to perform the dirty deed due to their constant whisking.

Imagine it now, you can really impress the other half too, and she won’t suspect a thing.

“Omelette dear?” – “Why yes, but you really don’t have to do all the cooking …” – “No, anything for you my sweet.”

“Do you need the blender, the Moulinex is in the cupboard?”

“No, no. Whisking by hand gives cooking the personal touch.”

I’ll have to have a think about this, there must be other activities that benefit your body’s sexual performance in ways that are not immediately apparent.

Hang on, I’m great at giving Suze G-Spot orgasms with two fingers … all that time changing clutches on Mini 1000s paid off – you have to have fingers with tendons of steel and muscles as strong as an orangutan to tighten the cover bolts. He he.

Fucking Machines – Automated Arousal

SybianI have written before about fucking machines they never fail to make me laugh and there are always new designs out there on the market. Which makes me ask “who would want to buy one of these?”.

The first one I remember coming in to contact with was the Sybian which is basically a cushioned ramp with a mechanised dildo mounted in the middle (check out image to the left). It was being displayed at a show over here in the UK and the model had to wear clothing which made it look even more ridiculous.

Then came the extreme fucking machines which were nothing more than a piston with a dildo mounted on the end. You would have to be careful not to go off centre with one of those. Lol

And if you are budget conscious you can now purchase an inflatable couch with one mounted it. I bet you have to be careful about slipping and rolling about on that, you could end up with the cock where you didn’t expect it. Ouch!

Teapot Fucking MachineNow you can have a machine which resembles a teapot or perhaps one of those dome shaped vaccum cleaners. I’m not sure which it most looks like. Either way I just can’t help but laugh my ass off at it.

Have you seen anything weird and wonderful out there? If so email me the link and I can feature it here to share with everyone. 🙂

New Porn Star Ree Petra

We got a DVD out yesterday with Ree Petra. No, I’d never heard of her before, but when I first glanced the cover of the DVD I thought, ooh! She looks like Samantha Janus.
 Samantha Janus
Well now I’m not so sure because I’ve got Britt Eklund in my mind.
 Britt Eklund
That was fine until I found this picture of Britt-Eklund, where she looks like Duffy.
 ritt Eklund
See what I mean? Now I’m confused

You’ve Been Fucked

Porn GorillaWe have a TV programme in the UK called You’ve Been framed. It is composed of amusing moments caught on camera by members of the public. Some of them are quite obviously staged and for many years we stopped watching it because the presenters were crap and used to try and sell every clip as a hilarious totally unrehearsed moment.

A few years ago Harry Hill a uniquely British comedian took over and succeeded in getting us to watch again. He hosts the show with a gently mocking and witty take on the clips. Many of the clips are genuine, though you do have to wonder at the naivety of those involved that would allow them to get into such situations. Where a clip is obviously staged or it’s plain that anyone looking on would see the “accident” coming from a mile away and therefore avoid it, Harry Hill is ready with an amusing quip.

Perhaps the same should be applied to porn outtakes?

I’ve seen it a couple of times on YouTube where porn stars are trying to deliver dialogue to camera for promotions of their films, But that doesn’t really count as porn specific mishaps as they could be doing trailers for the Dark Knight or Toy Story, just badly.

What I’d like to see is the problems that occur during the shoots and some of the acting that doesn’t make it to the final edit. I mean, porn is notorious for its dubious scripts and acting. Imagine what gets left on the cutting room floor because it’s too crap for porn.

Then there are all the occasions where the actors must fall off the furniture, miss the hole they’re aiming for and well, the mind boggles.

I don’t suppose anyone has seen anything like this on line or elsewhere have they?

Red Lights On Main Street

Neon light has only existed as a commercially available product for around 100 years and yet it forms part of our collective psyche. Its primary function is to advertise and in this age of rampant commercialism the only reason that it does not still appear on every shop front in the world is its high cost and inflexible nature relative to new forms of advertising hording.

Neons take a lot of time and skill to produce, each one is unique, but they have one thing in common, they evoke strong memories in all of us. Take the centre of Tokyo, Piccadilly Circus in London or bustling parts of any other city for that matter. At one time or another they have contained huge advertisements composed of neon signs. In films you see them from the street, or more subtly you might see the light of them illuminating the interior of a seedy hotel room through grubby windows.

If you haven’t actually done it haven’t you must have thought about having sex in a room illuminated by the light of the advertising board outside. The red-orange glow washing over your bodies as you bump and grind, heat rising, the glistening sweat on your skin emphasised by the warm glow.


Just me then. LOL

Don’t Watch This Unless You Want To Fuck!

I don’t claim to be an ardent fan of Moby but he has to be one of the most influential musicians around. He captivates and innovates with his unusual sounds and rhythms. My first introduction to his music was when a work colleague loaned me one of his CD’s to listen to.

Within minutes of listening to him I was hooked. So much so that when he toured and came to our city Alex and I went to see him. This guy has so much energy and spirit. We saw him on a work night and I clearly recall him overrunning his appearance by almost an hour but we were so in to the whole thing that we didn’t care.

To this day some of his music sends shivers down my spine.

In fact one track in particular which is linked at the top of this page. I wish I could find a sharper version of the video because it is quite interesting featuring sizzling neck biting and rope bondage.

It may be from 1995 but it still holds its own today. Just watch and listen and you will know what I mean.

See you later.