Monthly Archives: June 2009

No Bra – No Panties!

CrouchIt was so hot today that I considered going to work with no panties. And then I thought…they aren’t that big anyway as I wear a thong. Would it make a difference, apart from the knowledge that I was walking around at work without any on?

We also have several flights of stairs at work and no lift. So, someone may just be able to catch and eye full of my pussy as I climb the stairs.

You know I’m quite liking the idea!

Whilst searching around on the Internet for underwear related items I found out that a company which recycles fabric is backing a collection service in the Brighton & Hove area of the country.

They are launching the Bra Bank, where all contributions will be transported to Africa, Pakistan and Eastern Europe to be repaired and sold on. Money made from this is going to a local breast cancer charity.

What a fantastic idea. I think it should be rolled out all over the UK and the proceeds perhaps given to the MacMillan nurses who do so much for the cause.

They would not need to ask me twice to take my bra off. 😉

Hot Molly Sims

Molly Sims I was looking for something to cool me down when I found this image of Molly Sims.

Until finding it I didn’t know who she was.

Needless to say it didn’t cool me down.

After Fucks

Mata HariI read this story today about a man who has allegedly confessed to a murder in a bout of post-coital chumminess. Whether it’s true or not it did get me thinking. When in that state of bliss following a sexual encounter our defences and inhibitions are down.

It makes us quite vulnerable to letting things slip. Obviously why Mata Hari was so effective …

It can make for some quite interesting conversations with your lover that you would otherwise not have because they would seem so intimate and revealing outside that context.

So boys and girls, any of you like to spill the beans on something you’ve let slip after sex?

Playing Doctors and …

Nicola BryantSuze posted the other day about the lack of yummy assitants in Doctor Who in the past, well, I could name a few, but one who does spring to mind is right here.

Nicola Bryant played Perpugilliam Brown, or Perri and was notable for a couple of things (see image below). OK there was more to her than that. She fought not only the Doctor’s enemies but the constantly diminishing budgets at the end of Colin Baker’s tenure as The Doctor.

Her (literally) bouncy nature seemed to make up for so much that was lacking in the later story lines, like say money and commitment form the BBC. Until, after her demise the whole series descended into farce with the advent of Bonnie Langford and Sylvester McCoy.

There are times when you need a bouncy young assistant running towards camera to distract viewers from the cardboard sets and Nicola filled that role perfectly.

Nicola Bryant

Hot Sex

GlowingJust as we thought it couldn’t get much hotter it has. Temperatures here in the UK have hit their highest since 2006 and as the week goes on they are set to rise even further.

I love warm weather but this is too much, there is no escape from the heat in the evenings. How I long for air con. As I sit here with my flesh glistening and the fan is blowing warm air at me my desire to fuck is percolating inside me.

But I know that it is too hot to ask Alex to do the naughty. He would surely boil over if I did. So, what can I do to relive myself in the meantime? Toys are probably the answer but I have been giving my clit quite a lot of action these past few days.

And I’ve noticed that I loose the sensitivity in my clit if I wank too much. 😉 I proved that you can over wank your clit by abstaining for a few days and the sensitivity in my little pink nub once I returned to my normal behaviour made my toes curl.

I’m not sure how long I can hold out.

Are there any air conditioner installers reading this blog? Suze needs your help.

Finding Friends For Fucks

Gay Pride iPhoneThe Apple grinder app was something that I would never had come across if I hadn’t been told about Stephen Fry’s appearance on Top Gear last night. He mentioned it during his preamble interview to the “Star In A Reasonably Priced Car” feature and raised a few eyebrows.

I wouldn’t have known about it for several reasons. Firstly I don’t have an iPhone. Because of that I don’t download apps. Then there’s the issue that being heterosexual I’m not likely to search for an app that’s designed to help homosexuals cruise via their iPhone and GPS.

There is however another reason that I would not have found the application. Despite actually looking for the app, knowing its name and knowing its purpose and mobile platform I was unable to find it on the web or on Apple’s site.

Are we having an Amazon moment here? Maybe searches are being screened to remove references to this app? I don’t think it’s just me entering stupid search phrases, they were pretty specific and I tried lots of different combinations.

Odd eh?

Aren’t gay-themed searches allowed anywhere now.

Fetish Heels

Fetish HeelsUntil the other day I had never heard of Christian Louboutin the famous (but not to me) shoe designer. Yes, I have heard of Chu and wouldn’t dream of paying the prices he commands for footwear despite the wonderful designs, I’m far too practical to pay that and it also doesn’t help that I don’t have the cash to spare either. Lol

This guy puts the heels on people including Nicole Kidman and Cameron Diaz, there is a whole list of ladies wearing his shoes including some of the royal family.

He is apparently renowned for having the underside of the shoe immaculately red lacquered. Kinky, don’t you think? And those 4 ½ inch heels at the top of this post say it all. He claims that the height of the heel encourages women to adopt the right gait and walk at the right speed to be appreciated.

I’m not sure I could walk in them at all. Lol As a teenager and in to my late 20’s I used to cram my feet in to stilettos and by the end of the night be almost crippled. I think I have had my days of that, now I prefer comfort and practicality.

Although I may be persuaded to wear them in the bedroom. 😉

Lick My Clit

Minge TopiaryI wish you could but I would probably need to give it a good weeding before hand. Lol I have battled against the bush since my teenage years. I’m one of those girls who comes out in a rash regardless of if I shave, use depilatory cream or waxing. My pussy just doesn’t seem to like being bare. Lol

I’ve tied every method in the book and not only do they bring about spots but also don’t last for more than a couple of days before the hair starts to return.

So now I simply use a pro shaver set a close and let Alex shave it off. No stubble or spots, just neatly trimmed bush.

It means that Alex no longer has to pull hairs from between his teeth but can feel the light bristle against his face when he gets down and dirtyl 😉

But if you are more in to the manicured look there is the Minge Topiary Book, available on Amazon. Girls, this could be the alternative to the stubble. Itchiness and spots.

I must admit I like my bush to be a bit unpredicatable. Lol

Fucking Is Good For You

Shag Yourself SlimAlex and I as you are probably more than aware have a very good sex life and if we don’t get down screwing each other silly twice a day, then someone is ill. Lol

I have to admit that over the past couple of weeks the weather has really impeded our activities in the bedroom. It has been too hot to shag during the hot days and the nights take ages to cool down, if at all.

Even with the aid of fans blowing quite literally up you ass, it is still too hot. We have both felt like we ran a marathon when we have finished. I’m sure it has to be a good workout and I strongly recommend it as part of your health regime. 🙂

My thoughts were further confirmed when I found this little gem on Amazon. I can think of so many people I would love to buy this book for. Stop eating lettuce leaves and read this instead, it’s far more fun. 😉

What To Do When Your Girl Wants To Help You Masturbate

Little Book Of WankingEver happened to you? Well it just did to me.

Suze sent me a link to a book called “The Little Book Of Wanking”. I think it’s her mission in life at the moment to find naughty little books for us to read.

It looks like a fun tome from reading the first few pages. Maybe good for a stag night prezzie – while your still sober enough to read anyway.

Anyway, it got me thinking. How many people out there were surprised when their GF first offered to give them a wank?

I think your reaction depends on the circumstances. If the offered wank is in place of a shag then maybe you were disappointed, but I remember my girlfriend at the time whipping it out for me and really going for it. It was quite a revelation that a girl would want to jerk me off with such enthusiasm. She was obviously fascinated by the jets of cum that shot from the end of my cock and sprayed across my belly as I lay on my parent’s sofa.

That brings back memories.

Suze likes to do it too from time to time. Like me she enjoys the naughtiness of it. Masturbation is the forbidden sexual fruit, if you discount anal. But at least anal involves penetration, whereas wanking is totally unlike vaginal or anal sex and the result is a visual spectacle that you can both enjoy.

Well, back to the grind. I have lots of editing to do.

Oh, and the book’s author? Dick Palmer

Dirty Pictures On A Sunday Morning

For me this is perfectly normal, for others – not so. Who else spends their Sunday morning helping Alex photograph sex toys?

Not many people I’ll wager. It’s become a normal part of my home life, as has writing about sex, sexuality and our sex lives.

However we are actually doing something normal in a short while. We’re off out for a pub lunch and a walk. Otherwise we’d be cooped up inside all day and all work and no play makes Alex a dull boy.

Another Sex Related Injury

MasturbationToday has brought all kinds of weather here in our little corner of Britain. This morning it was foggy and rather miserable and then by mid morning it started to get a little bit humid. And tonight the sun returned just before sun set and it is as hot as hell.

We have fans pointing at us as we sit here baking in front of our PC’s.

Earlier this evening it was just too hot to be in the small office that we have at home so we moved into our bedroom. Although it was hot it wasn’t quite so bad, especially when we turned the pedestal fan on and let it oscillate over us.

However, there is a draw back to fucking in the air stream of a fan. Dryness. After a while with your ass turned towards it, letting that air blow on you and your partners back things start to dry out.

In particular my clit. So precautions have to be taken and a blob of lube run around my clit before we start helps. There you go another Suze tip. Lol If you don’t do this, just like me the other night, you will suffer clit drag and it is most uncomfortable. It feels like someone is running fine sandpaper over your clit.

Ouch!

I was prepared for that this time. But not for the vigorous doggy style fucking that Alex gave me. No sweat spared he powered in to me like a 20 year old sexual stallion and it was knee trembling good.

But as he gave it his last thrust he flung himself at me with such force that my left wrist gave up the ghost and I am now finding that I cannot put a lot of weight on it. I know it’s not fractured because I would be in pain rather than discomfort.

Next time we fuck like that I need some warning before he jettisons into me and I can drop to my elbows. It’s safer. 😉

Did you get that Alex?

Cunt Play

Cunt Colouring BookI’m in the process of reading the wonderful Arthur Smiths autobiography at the moment. I know it’s not the usual smut that I burry my head in at lunchtime. Lol

Whilst reading he enlightened me on Friday to the existence of a naughty colouring book. I’ve certainly never heard of before but mentioned in context he was purchasing it in the 80’s.

So, when I got home I turned on my PC and did a little Googling to see if it was still around and low and behold I found a copy on Amazon, here is the link.

I would like to have seen inside but you can’t. Lol

The obvious thought now is, should I buy a copy? 😉

In Pursuit Of Porn

Carmel MooreAlex and I have several projects in the pipeline over the coming weeks and we will fill you in on exactly what is happening once the details have been finalised.

Needless to say, there are going to be changes around here, all for the better of course. 🙂

One thing you can know for certain about Alex & Suze is that we don’t stand still for long and are always looking out for new things to bring this site and its readers. That is what singles us out from other sites, our diversity and constant evolution.

As part of one of our new projects we needed to get our hands on some printed porn. Not something we often indulge in. If we want to watch something naughty we have an extensive collection of porn DVD‘s or there are plenty of online sites.

But this required us finding a copy of a certain Lad’s Mag. Now you might think that is an easy task. Think again. The number of newsagents on the high street who stock porn mags is restricted and then not all of them carry the full range of mags available.

So our weekend task is to visit as many newsagents as we can in search of this periodical. If you see us scanning the top shelf in your local shop say “Hi”.

And if we don’t find a copy I will be back to consult you on where to find a copy. Wish me luck. 😉

Dirty Sex Toy Testers

Girl at deskThere’s been an 11% increase in vocational exams taken in the UK according to the latest statistics. Which is good because an educated workforce will help the economy recover.

I’d like to ask if there are any sex toy testers amongst the students in college.

It’s a perfectly valid occupation. All products need to be tested and none more so than sex toys.

I’m sure there are product testers for everything, including some very obscure and specialist items. Sadly I’d lay money that sex toy testers are omitted from the list of professionals currently certifiable by the exam boards. Maybe we should change that.

Girls With Sex Toys

Shaved PussyTime was when using a sex toy was seen as a bit dirty and rather difficult because of the very small range of sex toys available. On top of that if a woman used a sex toy men would often see it as threatening and if a man used a toy it was often a blow-up doll or rather poor quality and not very erotic.

Of course all that has changed as the reviews on Sex Toys Buzz illustrates.

IMHO it’s still girls who are more likely to use sex toys than guys. And I think they are more likely to discuss which sex toys to buy in a constructive manner than lads. Unless you’re in a small group men can be very superficial and childish about sex toys. Maybe it’s because they feel threatened by the thought of a woman using a toy. Pity because if men and women understood sex toys for their own gender and the opposite sex then they could have more fun and so could their partners.

Sex toys add a whole new aspect to play in the bedroom over and above the fun that can be had with two naked bodies.

Do you talk about sex toys with your partner, or your friends?

Videos They Wouldn’t Show On Red Tube

Alex and I have made around 40 videos to accompany our sex toy reviews. These are just little teasers featuring me and my cleavage, giving you a chance to get a little more intimate with me.

We originally loaded these on to YouTube and were doing very well thank you with almost 1,000,000 views. Which was probably the reason they decided to remove our account, we were becoming too successful.

I can’t think of any other reason because the content was on par with other bloggers and let’s face it you can now view porn on there.

So we moved them to Vimeo and the same thing happened again, we were removed. This time being told that we contravened their T & C’s as regards advertising, which I suppose we were. Although there are still others doing the same thing on there.

Finally we decided to load them on to Red Tube…and guess what! Lol

Not being ones to give up, we are now looking in to hosting them ourselves. After all we were supplying more traffic to these sites than was coming the other way. And this time we will be able to load what we want.

And you will be able to listen to my sexy voice once again. 😉

Watch this space, we will let you know when we have the site up and running.

Porn On Your Coffee Table

Jeff Koons glass sculptureI don’t know quite how I came across Jeff Koons, I don’t move in the art world at all and am totally out of touch with the latest fashion and artistic talent. But he seems to have taken the USA by storm and even used one of his famous inflatables in the Macys Thanksgiving parade in 2007, a huge shiny bunny.

He is currently exhibiting his work at the Museum Of Contemporary Art in Chicago, which is where I caught up with him. Until now I hadn’t heard of him and certainly don’t recall seeing any of his work.

His work moves me…moves me to laughter. I find there is a sense fun in this mans work, he comes across as being quite playful. Check out some of his exhibition pieces over on the MCA site.

I was intrigued and found some really amusing pieces which were interspersed with the naughty. In fact it does tell you to express caution if attending with children as some of the pieces are sexually explicit.

And they are the piece at the top of this post is well…naughty. Now would you dare put this on your coffee table? 😉

Classy Fucks

Eva HerzigovaI’m certainly in the wrong trade, I’ve decided I will never make my fortune being an employee of a company and working the usual 9 to 5.

This woman got it right, I didn’t realise so much money could be made out of good old prostitution.

I just read that a madam based in Hollywood has declared in court that she was supplying hookers at the rate of £30,000 a night. Wow!

The woman Michelle Braun aged 31 who is a mother of two had been supplying hookers to the celebrity world and notable public figures. She had more than 70 women on the books, which included actresses, models and Playboy centrefolds.

It has been declared that she has made more than £5 million from her vice ring.

She has evaded a jail sentence for money laundering and prostitution charges and it has been recommended that she is fined £20,000 and confined at home for 6 months.

I think she got off rather lightly, don’t you?

Wonder if she wants to sell the business on. Lol