Monthly Archives: February 2010

Fucking Sportsmen

I love Winter sports and this year my intention was to watch as much of the Olympics as possible.  Unfortunately it hasn’t ended up like that the coverage has been throughout the early morning here due to the time difference, rendering the scheduled programs out of bounds.

It has been of little comfort that when I sit down to catch up in the evenings it seems that I always end up watching the all action sport of curling.  Now don’t get me wrong I have the greatest of respect for all sportsmen and women but to be quite frank, it bores the pants off me very much like cricket.

Due to my lack of exposure to the events I have missed some real corking names.  I just read in the Anorak that there are 3 competitors with names to make you chuckle and in no particular order here they are.

Oh Min-Ji          Korean Speed Skater

Kaspar Kokk     Estonian Cross Country Skiing

Andreas Wank   German Ski Jumper

I should have watched more coverage to see if there was anyone else.  🙂

Shiny Wet Rubber Fetish

There are a lot of things that people find attractive, a lot of different preferences and fetishes. If whatever turns you on is more than just a liking for something, a preference that is more of a sexual fetish, then practicality and common sense go out of the window.

If you do have a fetish you will want to indulge that however hard or uncomfortable it is for you or your partner. OK, within limits, but you get my drift. Although being uncomfortable or even in pain may be part of your fetish.

What I suppose I’m actually rambling on about is fetishes that involve clothing that is difficult to put on or uncomfortable to wear for any length of time, or require you to have sex in impractical places or environments that are dangerous or uncomfortable.

I love the look of latex and PVC clothing, but it does have practical limitations as far as wearability is concerned. But again I suppose that may be part of the attraction for some – dripping with sweat and loving it!

Maybe that’s what defines a true fetish in one respect, the need to experience something no matter what the consequences or protracted preparations required to make the experience happen.

Of course not all fetishes require such preparation or clothing/equipment so could not be defined in this way but it made me think about time spent leading up to encounters with this sort of fetish. If you think about it you realise that it’s not so different from the ritual of getting ready to go out on the pull, or to a date with someone you’ve just met. Preparations can start days before, selecting or even buying the right clothes and makeup. Selecting a venue for the date, how forward to be and so on.

So I suppose in that respect a fetish that takes a long time to prepare for adds the extra dimension of anticipation just like the elements of a vanilla encounter can.

I’ll have to find some time to have a ponder on this a bit more.

Sex In The Supermarket

Sometimes sex is spontaneous and just happens. Sometimes it isn’t that simple.

On one occasion Suze and I were popping into the supermarket to pick up some bits and pieces on Saturday morning and she asked me to pull up the car well away from the store. I did so, wondering exactly why and discovered the reason when I unbuckled my seatbelt. She unzipped me and whipped out my cock. She dived onto it and began to give me a blowjob. She only stopped when I pointed out that anyone walking down the pavement which overlooked the carpark could see us and we’d get arrested.

It wasn’t very practical, but a really naughty experience. I almost let her carry on and finish the job but decided a criminal record for gross indecency was something we could do without.

It’s not always that easy to get in the mood, especially when you’re under pressure from factors outside your control. That is why I am writing this as a follow-up to Monday night’s “Sex Under Pressure” post.

Human beings are complicated animals and when they’re feeling down it affects every aspect of their lives. It would be nice to flick a switch and block out all the bad stuff outside so that we could enjoy ourselves when we’re at home with our loved ones. Because we can’t do that, we have to devise ways of distracting ourselves from the negative influences and allowing ourselves the space to relax before intimacy and sex can happen. I’ll try and go through a few of the things that you can do to ensure that you enjoy your time at home with your partner.

Some of the things you can do are obvious but worth restating because they are so easy to miss.

First of all phones. Turn them off, all of them we have a landline and three mobile phones now. Any one of them going off while we’re getting in the mood is going to destroy the moment.

The Internet and email is surprisingly distracting for us too. Our study is next to our bedroom, so the ping of an email arriving is like the bell to Pavlov’s dog. Your mind often wants to “pop next door to see what’s come in …” Even if you don’t react to this event you might still be thrown by it. Turn off your PCs.

Lower your expectations; Not every encounter you have has to result in sex. Especially if you’ve got long-standing problems or had a particularly bad day it may be that expecting sex and trying to make it happen is the best way to destroy the evening. It’s a medically recognised fact that the expectation of sex can actually stop it happening – it’s been referred to as apprehensive expectation.

In extreme cases you should try to reduce your expectations of each other to nothing. If you can succeed in lowering your expectations enough then you’re not going to be disappointed if one or both of you is too tired to indulge in foreplay or too tense to actually make love in the way that you’d like. Whatever happens, happens and if you can both live with that the tension that might have built up around the perceived erosion of your sex life will slowly disappear with each encounter.

Some people take great solace and comfort in routine and order, but routines in sex is something that I can’t personally understand. It’s too easy to get into a routine, be that in the frequency of your love making or what you do when you and your partner are having sex. Small changes can make a big difference and big, unwelcome changes can cause big problems if your partner is not ready for it. He might be ready one day to be led around the room with a lead and muzzle but for now just buy him a collar if you know what I mean LOL.

Above all be patient and listen to one another. You don’t need to, and very often shouldn’t analyse every tiny nuance of each other’s behaviour and personality. What you should do is allow your partner to express themselves, their worries, fears and expectations. Don’t feel that you need to proffer a solution to any of the issues that come up, that will just put pressure on you. Simply listen to and understand your other half, the rest should follow.

Breast Art

We’re all for appreciating natural beauty over here at AlexSuze. So any campaign, by anyone to promote the love of natural curves is something we’d really like to support.

Strangely I have mixed feelings about this particularly unusual sculpture by Chinese artist Shu Yong. It’s supposed to encourage his fellow Chinese to love the natural form of their bodies rather than opting for plastic surgery as an apparently increasing number of his country men and women are doing.

Does a huge pair of fake boobs really do that? I suppose so by pointing out that really over-size implants or other forms of extreme surgery detract from your attractiveness rather than enhance it.

Getting Filthy In Cars

Word of warning dear readers, I will be asking for a little reader participation regarding this post. 😉

Alex and I both have cars, his new one is a dark colour and at the moment is covered in dried salt from the roads, though the rain tonight will help to get rid of that. Lucky for me the colour doesn’t show the dirt up as much as others do.

Which brings me to the point of my post. Over the past week I have been noticing, although not really registering remarks written on other dirty vehicles. You know the sort, comments like “clean me”.

This week I saw a works van for Carillion with “living the dream” written on it. I’m not sure if that is a slur on this construction company and the economic climate. If anyone has any ideas let me know.

I’ve seen a few suggesting that someone cleans the vehicle but the one I saw tonight had me laughing in the queue for the roundabout. It was written on the back of a mobile photographers estate car.

It read “Jenny loves dogging”. As I pulled alongside the car I was eager to see who was driving it. It was a blonde girl…I wonder if she was called Jenny. Lol

If you have seen any good ones written on vehicles post them in the comments and I will make a post out of them to share with you all.

Pussy Flash And Cock Colours

Pussy FlashIf you’ve been reading us for a while you may know that I experience a form of synaesthesia. In my case I see colours associated with sensations. The more intense the sensation the more vivid the colours that I “see”.

If you’re not sure what I am talking about this Wiki article explains what synaesthesia is about. What it can’t explain is the wonderful experience that an orgasm is when you have my variant of the condition. As you can imagine the sensations that most other people feel when they come are added to by being wrapped in a whirling torrent of colours and shapes. It’s probably one of the reasons that I like sex so much, although being a bloke sex is pretty high on the agenda anyway so I’ll leave you to decide how much it has to do with the synaesthesia.

I only discovered that I was different from other people in this respect a few years ago after we started sex blogging. A fellow blogger pointed it out when I described my intense orgasmic experiences. It explained a lot. For years I had been describing sensations to people with their associated colours and getting some very strange looks. Being used to getting very strange looks it never prompted me to ask why they didn’t quite seem to understand what I was describing so when the realisation hit that most people just feel tactile sensations and can’t see them things started to become clearer.

Synaesthesia is something that intrigues Suze as she often asks me what colour my orgasm was when we make love. I haven’t mentioned it much in my writings recently because it is part of me, I’m at home with it and blessed to experience it. One thing the One Show did remind me to do today is to perhaps create some more pictures as I did when I first discovered that I am cognitively different from the majority of people. I have a few knocking around at home somewhere and one of them even hangs on a wall in Guam of all places.

Anyone interested in seeing some?

Saved By Whopping Hooters

I may look at breast implants in a whole new light after reading how they could have saved a woman in the US from certain death.

Lydia Carranza was shot by a semi-automatic assault riffle at point blank range when a gunman opened fire in a dentist office in Beverly Hills. The shot was aimed directly at her heart and fortunately for her the breast implants in her chest took the force of the blow.

The gunman had previously shot his wife before turning fire upon Lydia who had increased her breast size years earlier from a B cup to a D cup. In this particular instance a wise decision.

Eaten Out To The Extreme

I think I found one of the most surprising and unexpected fetishes today. It’s “vorarephilia”, the fetish for eating or being eaten by others. It’s not necessarily about cannibalism, as it appears to centre around the act of eating or being eaten in one piece.

So this is all about fantasy. While you could, if you were so inclined (i.e. a raving nut job) indulge in cannibalism, actually being swallowed alive or swallowing someone alive is a practical impossibility.

There are various pieces of artwork around the place with vore themes but if the philia itself isn’t unusual enough there are even sites with animal vore images and videos like this one (not for those of you of a squeamish disposition) A word of caution here. While the site “” seems clean, some of the sites it links to are flagged as dangerous by our anti-virus software. The risks of browsing very specialists sites I suppose.

The fiction I’ve found around this fetish can be pretty heavy going and is only going to be of anything other than academic interest to a tiny minority of you. However if you’re interested in very unusual fetishes it’s worth investigating. While some stories deal with the devouring of people via the obvious route of the mouth, others like this one describe a woman eating her lover via her vagina.

And yes for all of you who hate compound Latin/Greek names out there this is another one 😛 from voorare and ???í?(philia).

Visual Kink

Following on from my little rant about the fashion world the other day and the fact that I have never been a follower of fashion, I have happened across something which helps to redress the balance.

The stunningly kinky and very powerful image above is from a collection of photographs that ordinarily you wouldn’t associate with a high profile fashion desingner.

This image is taken from a collection of images called Dangerous Couture, featuring apparel by Elisa Sednaoui and Baptiste Giabiconi and the photographer…

…Mr Karl Lagerfeld.  I was astonished because to be quit honest I’m not his biggest fan I find he pretentious and a bit of a cock but I may have to admit that his skills behind the lens redeem him somewhat.

You can check out the rest of this slightly Domme tinged collection here.

Watch Out For The Cock

I’ve never been one to follow fashion and I have no intention of doing so especially in the light of the fact that there are too many young impressionable young girls making themselves ill to be “fashion thin”.

What was it Kate Moss said the other month…”nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. I so hope she regrets saying that now.

I’ll just get off my soapbox to say that the fashion industry can be summed up by watching this video, of Isabel Mastache’s collection. Watch out for the guy in the suit. Lol

Upskirt Panty Perv

I found these today and I’m not sure if I like them or not.  These cushions are supposed to resemble chambermaids kneeling.  Uhm…even more pervy don’t you think.  Lol

They would certainly create a conversation if you had them casually scattered over your sofa.  I’m not sure how my parents would react if they came round, although they do have a sense of humour.

If you can read Japanese you could order yourself some chambermaids all of your own here 😉

Fucked On The Filing Cabinets, A Boardroom Balling

Following on from my post about hats yesterday I did a bit of thinking and realised what the most un-sexy hat is.

It’s the bowler hat.

There was a time when every stock broker and jobber at the London Stock Exchange wore one. It was part of the uniform. In fact if you go back far enough many British managers wore the same hard black headgear that was, pretty much anti-sex.

With one exception that is. A bowler hat on a woman is very, very sexy.

The juxtaposition of the hat, the hat’s associations with the male establishment and a sexy woman both subverts that establishment and highlights her femininity. It’s like men’s shirts on women, seriously sexy.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with cross dressing, though if you’re in to that kind of stuff that’s an added bonus, it’s about contrast. What more of a contrast can you get than a female body in male clothes? Blurring the clothing gender boundaries in everyday life is interesting and is part of developing fashion. At one time the thought that women might wear trousers was scandalous, then through an evolutions of clothing, fashion and driven by necessity trousers became everyday for women.

Global conflicts played a major part in this as women were utilised as part of the workforce to help the war effort and adopted male clothing in factories, on farms and invaded previously male preserves. When women moved out of the typing pool their suits became more like those of their male superiors but retained the femininity. Thank goodness. I’m all for equality in the workplace and elsewhere but without the differences between us we would lose the contrast I mentioned earlier.

Thing is, and call me a hypocrite here, I’m not into men wearing women’s clothes. I can understand transvestites for example feeling the urge to express their female sides by wearing women’s clothing, yet the idea leave me cold. On the other hand I know there are women who find the idea of a man just wearing women’s clothing, or even at its most extreme, sissified, a huge turn-on.

Just foes to prove that the range of sexuality out there is so vast it defies comprehension.

When I Need It Hard

I know that spam isn’t targeted as such, they will send it out to anyone and if you respond they like it even more.  I’ve now started getting emails requesting read receipts, obviously so they can ascertain which email addresses are live.

It also tickles me when they address the emails to Mr Suze, obviously they have decided that the majority of adult sites are run by men.  And that is the crux of my post.  I’m sick to the back teeth of receiving emails for Viagra/Cialis.

If we could stop these emails coming through it would free up cyberspace so we can all enjoy it.  We are living in a world where we are constantly bombarded by unsolicited crap.  Despite opting in to the mail preference system at the Royal Mail we still receive countless pieces of junk mail ever week through the door.

Are you listening you guys out there?  I don’t need any of your vasodilators.  That’s Viagra to you and me.  🙂

Dildo Fun And Spit Roast Too!

I want to go and live in Newfoundland. Well, I have for a long time because despite never having been to Canada in my life I have a feeling I’d love it there. Every picture of it I see, every documentary makes me long for the wide open spaces and to see the wildlife. I would probably be complaining about the cold all the time unless it was the height of summer but a girl can dream …

So imagine my delight when I found this particular restaurant in a secluded bay community – the Dildo Dory Grill. It’s in the community of Dildo, Trinity Bay, Newfoundland.

I have only one question, alongside the grill, do they do spit roasts?

Tit-fer For Tatt

Having a fetish for hats is something that I can understand. Hats have up until recently been falling out of fashion. In recent years they have become a little more common on both men and women again but they are still the exception, rather than the rule they once were.

It is their very unusualness that adds to their effect for me. While hats in everyday life are still relatively uncommon in comparison to the middle of the last century wearing one by definition implies a special event or something outside the run of the mill. The theatricality of hats also has something to do with it I suppose.

Seeing someone in a hat is like seeing a colleague who you’ve never seen outside a work environment in their eveningwear for the first time.  It changes your perception of them and you could regard it as a kind of role play scenario where your perceptions roles and relationships change based purely on the garments you wear and the makeup they wear.

Sexy Mile High Babes

I was rather amused by the story in today’s Sun.  They have reported on a story about several British Airways girls flashing various parts on their bodies in saucy images.  Allegedly the images fell in to the hands of a porn site on the Internet.

The images were taken for the BA staff to send to friends and never intended to end up on the Internet.  Some images clearly show staff wearing the BA uniform flashing onboard an aircraft.

Despite this BA are claiming that there is no evidence that the girls actually work for them.   That is apart from the full BA uniform they are wearing and the small matter of images being taken in various parts of an aircraft.  Lol

You can check out the images here 😉

Cumming Hard At The Gym

You will have to forgive me regaling my tales of my trips to the gym over the next few days.  I’m sure my enthusiasm will wane.  Only joking.  Lol  Over the next few weeks I’m intending to ease myself back in to a regular regime of exercise, culminating in me being able to do it daily eventually with no aching muscles.

It may take some time.

One of my favourite activities there is rowing, it gives your whole body a good workout.  It does however have its downside.  The machines are in front of the mirrored weight lifting area which is male dominated and smells of sweat, pheremones and lipids.

Muscle Beach does have a funny side too.  I was rowing away today with my back to the muscle mutts and I was put off my stroke slightly when I first encountered it.

One of the guys stood out from all the rest because every now and then the music which plays at low volume throughout the gym was permeated by “aaagggghhhh”, which was immediately followed by the crash of heavy weights hitting the flooring.

I found myself laughing a couple of times because it sounded just like the guy had come and then immediately flopped.  He did this repeatedly which kept me going through my arduous Channel crossing.  Lol

I’ll have to find a way of surreptitiously recording him so I can share the moment.  🙂

I Lurve Cock

It goes without saying I suppose, you all know what I’m like by now.  Can’t keep my hands off it and need to devour it several times daily.  Lol

I thought this picture pretty much summed up the situation.  Perhaps I should get one done.  😉

Fucked Over In Italy

I’m sure that a lot of people in the IT world have been chortling to themselves over the rather hollow “victory” that competitors to IE have scored over Microsoft. After years of wrangling next week will see users of Microsoft operating systems asked to choose the browser they wish to use.

A bit late boys – most people at least have a choice of browsers installed already and some, like me use two different ones for different tasks.

Dominant positions attract the eyes of regulators and the lawmakers so although the verdict passed in Milan yesterday was a shock it had to come sooner or later. The Italian courts hold Google responsible for the content uploaded to their sites and one would presume everything from the Black Death to the Haitian earthquake.

Industry pundits complain about restriction of freedom and the adult industry is wondering what will happen next. You can read more about it here.