Monthly Archives: March 2010

Sex Swami Sari Shocker

Titty TwisterI’ve posted up a news item on A-Rouse.com about an Indian holy man who has withdrawn from public life because a video, purporting to be of him, has appeared on the Internet. In it he is seen in a compromising position with a Tamil actress.

Three things need to be said here.

Firstly it might not even be  the Swami in question, he denies it’s him.

Then there’s the content of the tape. It’s odd, looks a bit staged and not at all natural so if you want to watch it and shout FAKE! Please do so.

Finally, who put the HD video camera in the room to film this “cavorting”?

As with all scandalous tapes you have to ask is it real? Who took it and released it? An most importantly of all, why?

For more info see this article.

Loving That Beaver

PussyHere is a lesson for all of us to be careful which names we select for our sites or publications.  If you select a name which can be construed as being sexual it could be filtered out by Google searches or communication via email could be spammed and the recipient never receives it.

Recently after 90 years of publication, Canada’s oldest magazine The Beaver is to undergo a name change because it’s readership was being affected by spam filters particularly in schools.

For those of us who are unfamiliar with the publication, The Beaver, Canada’s history journal was named after the country’s national emblem.  Back in the day I bet they couldn’t forsee the problem its name would create in the modern world.

You can read the full story here, it makes for some interesting reading.

The Missing Kink

Suck HoodOK so not the most imaginative of titles but there you go. Sometimes the obvious ones are the best.

We went to gym this morning before we went shopping on Sunday but the hot personal trainer wasn’t in so I had to simply get on with the business of getting sweaty. Hence the title, the missing kink.

Let’s face it though having a pervy thought about a slightly glowing woman in the gym is pretty obvious stuff, nice, nut obvious. What’s more interesting at least from an academic point of view is some of the more unusual fantasies that people have. You come across them quite regularly on the Internet and they never cease to amaze.

Very often the things that get people going are the sort of scenarios, or activities that don’t do it for you but you can at least understand how someone might find them arousing. Sploshing for example, or messy food fetish, where devotees are aroused by playing with (usually rather sloppy/squidy) food. It may be a bit of a stretch from a bit of cream on the nipple to a full-on food fight but you can at least extrapolate to where sploshers are coming from.

Then there are the fetishes that leave you thinking “WTF?” One such fetish for me at least is crushing or squashing where one partner deliberately uses their weight to squash the other. I suppose you could say it derives from an extreme need for physical contact but I still just don’t get it.

What’s the most unfathomable kink you guys have come across on the web?

Dirty Talking Bastard

Sean BeanI admit it, I used to smoke. A bloody silly thing to do, damaging to your health, foul smelling and expensive. See you can tell ex-smokers they’re worse than people who have never smoked at all. It’s probably the feeling that the dreaded cigarettes robbed you of years of activity as you wheezed after strenuous activity. Then there’s the mornings, coughing and spluttering into the bathroom until you cleared the kack from your chest. And perhaps most importantly the money you literally burned. Most packs of 20 are over five quid now, how did I ever afford it?

But there’s one thing I do miss from smoking, and it’s not the nicotine hit of that first drag. It’s the effect it had on my voice. My voice used to be much deeper and more gravely, on the telephone it had an unusual effect on the female of the species.

It was only the ciggies, I didn’t have to go to the extent that Mercedes McCambridge did to voice the part of the possessed Regan in the Exorcist – i.e. drinking raw eggs, smoking goodness knows how many packs a day, drinking to excess and not getting any sleep. Though that does sound like a few debauched weekends I enjoyed when I was younger.

I used to work in a call centre, taking calls from all over the UK. Now to people outside Yorkshire a Yorkshire accent is a Yorkshire accent. Often people from the south of the UK can’t tell whereabouts in Yorkshire you’re from, they even mistake Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire and Manchester for Yorkshire. So when I picked up the phone and started to talk they immediately decided they were talking to Sean Bean and as Sean had appeared in Lady Chatterley’s lover. You fill in the blanks LOL.

And Suze agrees. If you ask she’ll tell you that having spoken to me on the phone on a number of occasions before meeting face to face she already had a mental image of me that was quite appealing.

It must have been a shock when she saw me for the first time 🙁

However I’m happy to leave the Sean Bean voice behind. The ciggies are too high price to pay even for that. So why, I hear you ask, do I mention it? Well, the voice is back for a few days if only because I have an appalling cold and chest infection.

Even being ill has its benefits. 🙂

I mean, who of us doesn’t like receiving a call from a stranger with a sexy voice?

Here Comes Some Hot Porn …

Bobbi StarrUnlike Jackie Smith MP and her husband we openly admit to watching porn, well to you lot any way. 😉 I’m not sure work are ready to hear me say that yet. They can’t seem to get beyond BDSM not being all about dressing up in German uniform ala Max Moseley.

I wonder just how many couples not only watch it together but talk about the scenes and how they can be improved. I’m thinking not many. It’s a shame really that some people simply cannot open up to one another. I suppose I am lucky…we are lucky.

Our latest purchase from Harmony films has left me a little exasperated though. There have been several scenes which looked like turning in to something different and then they have simply not followed them through.

For example, I can appreciate both the female and male stars, being bisexual. And I often long for a good girl on girl scene. Last night I though it was going to happen. The scene starts off with a girl laying blindfolded on a table, wearing purple bra, panties and stockings.

A girl walks in to shot and cuffs the girl. She then starts to caress her lips, kissing her gently. Good so far. Then out of nowhere appear two guys, one shoves his cock straight in to her mouth and the other starts licking her pussy. The other girl has gone.

In another the gorgeous Bobbi Starr, her up there in the top left corner is deep throating a rather large black dildo. And making a good job of it. I’m thinking, any minute she will be bringing herself off with that.

But no.

A guy walk in on the scene and shoves his cock in to her mouth. Is it me or are the directors of porn missing some really good scenes in favour of the formulaic?

What do you think?

Tight And Horny

PussyI can’t say for certain but I think the trees have started to dump pollen into the atmosphere in the UK. I know this as I’m allergic to it; My throat is sore and my nose has swollen up so I can’t breath through it. Crap Huh?

Despite this my libido still kicks on and although a bunged up head is a little inhibiting it’s still easy to slip into the mood. One thing to be said for sex when you’re under the weather is that it can be slightly mind altering. I don’t know if it’s the inflammation of membranes in your head or a slight oxygen starvation but when we made love tonight the sensations I got at orgasm were a bit freaky.

Of course my perception of an orgasm is always a bit odd because of my synaesthesia. But when I’m a bit off-colour things get even more intense and can feel really trippy.

One thing that did happen when I came – it cleared my left nostril, it suddenly doesn’t feel as congested. Another shag should see me fixed … Suze, where are you!

Olympic Style Fuck

I hadn’t heard of this until today let alone thought about it but apparently the number of “sex workers” around Olympic venues increases prior to the games taking place.

It’s a fact that someone sees a potential revenue stream in most things these days but who would have thought that whilst the Olympic games are being held games of another sort would prosper.

Hence concern over the up and coming 2012 Olympics to be held in London.  I mean we are half way there with the rather encouraging logo which cost a fortune to design.  It couldn’t look more like a stylised blow job if it tried.

Perhaps Tessa Jowell had some input in the choice or Jacqui Smith.  Lol

Perhaps they should issue some Olympic rings for cocks during the even to help control the ever increasing number of sexually transmitted diseases.  You can catch the full story here  🙂

Tit Wank For Two

BoobsPushing your hard cock between a pair of full breasts is an experience that few men heterosexual would turn down. It’s stimulating, naughty and ultimately satisfying. It’s also one of those sexual practices that women can feel like they have to take part in to please their man whether they enjoy it or not.

I know many women enjoy giving their man a tit wank for a number of reasons. It’s also a handy way of getting sexually intimate if vaginal sex is impractical or impossible for some reason. It’s not however something that most people would get to try the first time they make love or get in some way sexual with a new partner.

In that respect it contrasts with say a hand job. Women masturbating a male partner rather than “go all the way” is not uncommon early in a relationship. I can’t imagine many women letting a new lover cum on their tits too early in their sexual journey. Or maybe I’m wrong? Maybe you guys have other ideas?

What I believe is that tit wanks should be for two. That is you should both enjoy them. The sensation, the visual effect of a cock sliding between two breast and the ultimate sticky finale should be a huge turn-on for both of you. It’s one thing doing something for you partner because they like it but I am a firm believer that you should both derive pleasure from a sexual act either directly from the act itself or indirectly because your partner likes it. You should never feel obliged to let your partner cum between your tits just because they want to.

If you want some tips on tit wanks speak to Suze, she’s an expert at them 😉

Fuck Me Shoes

Pole Dancer ShoeWhen You Are Stripped Right Down

It’s true that clothes do not define you but they can give pretty strong clues to your personality and views on life.

Take me, I’m not a fashion follower, never have been even when I was a teenager. For me clothes had to be stylish, comfortable and if evening wear timelessly sexy. One of my favourite ranges in the 90’s (when I could afford it) was Planet.

They made some beautifully tailored classic suits, dresses and skirts. Nothing flashy but the cut and the style said everything. Understated chic with taste. To this day I’m still that girl who like class rather than trash and I’m pleased to hear that the clothes of the 80’s are making a come back.

I think most people have seen enough of the half-mast trousers with boxer top reveal, often accompanied by the obligatory baseball cap. Lets see men wearing suits to go out and looking smart again. A man in a suit works for me, in fact you may already know this because I have spoken about it before…Alex has a fuck suit. 😉

One which he can soil and is easily cleaned.

Most of the time you will find me wearing trainers and cargo pants with a t-shirt. Practical and comfortable day wear when not at work. Whilst Busty and Horny from work insist on walking around in stilettos and tight fitting clothes and would not be seen out without the lippy. Lol

I believe my clothes represent me, down to earth, practical and with a sense of fun. Not pretentious or insecure. I’m comfortable with who I am and I believe it shows.

Again there was a trigger for this post. I saw the shoes up there and immediately thought of who would wear them and it isn’t difficult to see just who they were aimed at is it? There is no mistaking a girls interests there. 😉

I don’t think I would have the bottle to wear them, would you?

Sex With A Stranger

Chelle felt the weather change around six in the evening. The mid-March sunset accompanied by a sudden but brief gust of cold wind that made the window frames rattle and the roof timbers creak. She opened the front door and looked out into the darkening twilight.

“Jess, Jess!” she called after her wilful tabby tom. Her voice seemed small and insignificant in the dark, deepening shadows that were gathering around the house. It wafted across the surrounding fields and was lost amongst the sound of the trees in the copse on the ridge being buffeted by another gust of wind. She had to lean against the door to close it, another barrage of wind hitting the front of the house head on. She turned back into the warmth of the hallway, long black hair now dishevelled and partially covering her face.

Her hairbrush was on the sideboard. Running it through her hair whilst standing in front of the mirror in the lounge she caught her reflection and smiled. Her brother kept telling her that she looked like the girl in “The Ring” when she brushed her hair, and framed in the oval mirror she had to admit the similarity. She didn’t have the blue-white deathly skin tones, but the resemblance to Samara was there.

She made herself a coffee, fortified with a healthy splash of cognac and allowed the radio to lull her into unconciousness. Her eyelids drooped and closed, her breathing slowed and alone in her deep, comfortable armchair sleep enveloped her.

~~~

She woke to the sound of a hammering from the door, the clock on the mantle indicated it was past ten. The wind was stronger than before, the heavy roof tiles rattled, rain lashed the windows. Half asleep Chelle stumbled to the door.

She opened the door and was shaken into full consciousness by the blast of icy rain that rushed into the hallway. A dark figure loomed in the doorway, hair plastered to his head with rain, his black overcoat dripping from a long walk through the foul weather outside. His pale grey eyes bored into her.

“I thought you’d got lost. Get inside.” She helped him remove his coat and hung it on one of the pegs by the door to drip leaving it onto the stone tiles.

He slumped into the chair opposite hers while she poured him a glass of whisky.

“She proffered the glass he took it with a nod. “I’ll get some towels, you’re soaked.” Chelle returned with two bath sheets and began to undress her sodden visitor. The removal of each garment exposed more of his flesh to be patted and rubbed dry. He leant forward, allowing her to remove his sweater and shirt, then stood to lower his trousers and boxers.

When she was sure he was dry and the malt was warming him from within she sat at his feet, chin resting on his naked thighs. Her eyes were drawn to his turgid cock. “So I suppose after walking all that way you’re too tired to … ”

She ran the nail of her left index finger along the soft skin of his inner thigh towards his groin. His cock stirred and lengthened. Chelle watched, fascinated.

“No matter how many times I see that it still intrigues me.” He smiled.

Her hand slipped around the now firm member and gently stroked its length. He groaned, shifting positioning the chair, hips thrusting upward to meet her downward strokes. You should be really careful with your extremities, if they get cold they might get frost bite and fall off. She slowly licked her lips. “Let’s put that somewhere nice and warm”.

Chelle stood up to remove her jeans and panties. She turned and presented her round ass for his approval. He reached out and stroked the full peach of her buttocks. His hand slipped between her legs and found the moistness there, warm, fragrant, alluring.

She sensed him stand behind her, his hand leaving her wet snatch and grasping her by the shoulder, now she was being pushed to her knees. She fell onto all fours, waiting for him to initiate the love making. His hands grabbed her waist, cock needing no help to find her opening and impale her.

She gasped. It had been a couple of days since they had been together and although absence certainly made him more enthusiastic when there were back together she couldn’t remember him ever being quite so big, or masterful. Her hair hung around her face like a veil, swinging as she was buffeted by his animal thrusting.

Chelle resolved that if the panting grunting wall of masculinity behind her was the result of a few days apart she would have to insist that they only saw each other once each week as her first orgasm exploded inside her. It was quickly followed by a second and a third as her lover seemed intent on climbing inside her.

His breath was hot on her back. Her head was spinning, the pleasure so intense that she didn’t register the pain from the crushing grip his hands were applying to her waist.

She felt and heard him cumming, a growling pulsing wave of orgasm that seemed to reach out from him and engulf her. He continued to thrust even after he was spent, snarling low in his throat. When he finally released her waist she collapse to the floor, in a whimpering bliss-filled delirium.

She was vaguely aware of his footsteps making their way upstairs and the sound of the shower curtain being pulled shut and water gushing from the shower head. Chelle let herself drift, almost falling to sleep.

Suddenly she was aware of a shape above her. She opened her bleary eyes and let out a shriek.

He was standing above her half-naked form, dark hair plastered to his head, overcoat wet from the driving rain. His pale grey eyes were glittering.

“Gordon?”

“You’ll never believe what happened. Some bastard jumped me, knocked me out and then, best of all, get this, didn’t even take my wallet.”

“What? What are you talking about? What were you doing outside again?” Chelle was confused.

“Again? Look I just let myself in with the key you gave me.”

Chelle’s blood froze. The sound of the shower ceased and footsteps crossed the landing.

“Who is that?” Asked Gordon.

With a horrifying realisation Chelle replied “I don’t know …”.

The stairs creaked as Chelle’s visitor made their way down stairs, eventually appearing, framed in the door. Eyes glowing red, light glinting off razor sharp canines.

Food & Sex The Perfect Mix

Sophie DahlSince I first watched Nigella Lawson on television cooking and exciting not just our tastebuds but our sexual desires I’ve been a big fan.  She is my ideal woman, beautiful, intelligent, charismatic and oh lets not forget she can cook too.  Lol

Watching her tease us all with her demure glances at the camera and provocative licking of fingers had delighted many.  I forgot to mention she has a very nice voice too, smooth and deep with a richness equalled by the finest quality chocolate.

In my opinion there is no other cook with the exception of James Martin who can live up to her in terms of desireablility.

You may ask why I’m rambling on about her.  Well the other night I tuned in for the first of Sophie Dahl’s cookery programmes.  Sophie has been likened to Nigella in the press on the lead up to the launch of her series called The Delicious Miss Dahl which goes out on BBC2 on Tuesday at 8.30-9.00pm.

So I thought I would watch the first series to see if she lived up to her “delicious” title and I must say I was disappointed.  Yes, she is pretty and bubbly but she neither held my attention or attraction.  There is something missing, that is there in abundance with Nigella.

So, Nigella don’t worry you haven’t been upstaged by Miss Dahl, she’s in a totally different league.

Dogging In Lancashire

Dogging In LancashireMost of us have engaged in outdoor sex at one time or another.  I’ve had several naughty encounters in cars and outside them too.  😉  It adds to the excitement knowing that what you are running the risk of discovery.  That said it’s not my desire to be discovered, that would be way too embarrassing, it’s just the adrenalin rush of taking that risk.  If that makes sense.

I came very close to being discovered years ago when I was going out with an angler and we decided to get a little amorous on the river bank.  Thinking back, probably because he couldn’t bear to leave his rod.  Lol

We just started to kit off as we heard voice coming up the river bank on the opposite side.  Modesty was preserved, I got my clothes fastened up double quick.

This story came to mind as I read this newspaper story about Lancashire council taking action against dogging by clearing 6000 trees.  The public are enraged about it.  You can read the full story here.

Unnatural Sex Acts

Unnatural?I was today treated to a conversation about sexuality that would not have been out of place in the Middle Ages. A group of women were discussing the death of Stephen Gately.

I say a group of women but there were three, the oldest and most moronic of the group seemed responsible for dragging the other two into supporting her views. I’ll return to how that happened later.

What first made me pay attention to the conversation was the scandalised tones the eldest woman, we’ll call her the homophobe shall we, was using to describe what she had heard/read about Gately’s death. According to her take on things “They [gay men] are like that aren’t they. They were having a threesome. They were in bed while he was dying in the other room. And he had been drinking and taking drugs you know, and they said he didn’t drink or take drugs. Well they were wrong …”. To sum up the other comments the homophobe made, she believes that gay men are having sex with multiple partners, drinking, taking drugs and partying and their behaviour is “unnatural”. She rounded off with “You’ll never convince me otherwise.”

I’m inclined to agree. She has led a sheltered and some might say utterly boring life. Married young and bearing a number of children to the same man, now in a routine that she breaks up by watching soap operas, going out to the same pub every weekend and gossiping about everyone to fill the yawning void where her life should be.

I was inclined to ask a question when I had heard the torrent of bigoted nonsense that poured from her shrivelled little mind and only knowledge of what a vindictive person she is overrode my seething anger and stopped me from doing so. It wasn’t that I believe all gay men are perfect, monogamous or totally clean living. They are human like the rest of us and have faults, like the rest of us. Nor was it the allegations she made (presumably repeated from a newspaper story or TV show) because I don’t know the circumstances of Gately’s death and am therefore not able to comment.

No, what really got to me was that one of the other women who were clucking in agreement at her outrageous proclamations has a gay cousin!

I don’t blame her for agreeing with the homophobe, though I think a more neutral response to the shit she came out with would have been more appropriate, and the reason I don’t blame her is simple. If she had contradicted the homophobe she would have blotted her copy book and been the subject of bitchy comments when her back was turned.

This is how prejudice begins, festers and survives. Bigots are by their nature vociferous, apt to over-simplification and react angrily to challenges to their views. It is in the nature of prejudice to select the morsels of information and misinformation that support a view and ignore the rest. Woe betide anyone who presents a reasoned argument to the contrary.

And one final point after my little rant about homophobes, her in particular. If she was so opposed to homosexuality and the “activities” of gay men, why was she watching the TV show or reading the newspaper article?

Does she enjoy being morally outraged? I think so.

I See Bukkake

It seems these days that you cannot purchase a porn DVD without it featuring two key elements, the first being fellatio and the second bukkake.

I don’t know who decided that we women get off on having a guy shoot his cum all over our faces but they certainly had an imagination. Lol If you are extremely unlucky (and guess who this happened to.) you can end up with it in your eye. And that bloody stings like acid when it hits your eyeball I can tell you.

Even better, if you happen to get it in your hair. Don’t bother with the hairbrush because that stuff will not shift, the only way to eradicate it is to wash your locks. There goes the voice of experience once again. 🙂

It can also be embarrassing if you forget to wipe it all up afterwards and your boyfriends parents come over. That tell tale white mark on the cushion cover had nothing to do with me. *blush*

So in short…you need to be wearing a hat which completely covers your faces, wearing goggles to protect your eyes and sitting on a plastic easy wipe sheet. Kind of takes the intimacy away doesn’t it.

Now to the reason for me being spurred in to writing this post. Check out the YouTube clip at the top of the page and tell me that this isn’t bukkake inspired. 😉

My Bisexual Girlfriend

French MaidOne of the problems of being in a relationship with a heterosexual girl is that you have to be very careful what you say about other women. Trust me I know to my cost.

The problem with being in a relationship with a bisexual woman as I am is that you still have to be careful what you say about another woman. That’s not quite as bad as it sounds. Suze and I have similar tastes in women, similar but not identical. That is a double edged sword.

Consider this, if I say I find another woman attractive and Suze doesn’t she wonders why. Even after all these years she still wonders why, being bisexual doesn’t make you a man, you’re still a woman, just with an expanded sexual vocabulary. There’s no mystery about this difference in our preferences, we both come from different sides of the gender divide and while Suze appreciates and desires women she will always be a woman. That femininity is the basis of her sexuality and means we will never be totally in sync, that would be horrendous.

The other side of this is that she is pretty adept at spotting who I will fancy. We used to play a game with porn sites where Suze would bring up a screen full of thumbs and then guess which one I found most attractive … she was about 97% accurate LOL. That makes it very difficult for me to be unfaithful because Suze knows exactly who to keep her eye on.

But then again she’s only jealous if she can’t share with me, LOL

Dirty Oral

Dirty OralA Couple of weeks ago I attended the dentist for my regular check up with clean and polish.  These visits don’t usually bother me because they are routine rather than for treatment.  Or at least the were.

I had such a good poking in there that my gums actually bled a little and were a little sore.  I put this down to having a thorough scale and polish and thought they would settle down in  few hours.

But they didn’t in fact they got worse and my gum actually started to swell and become acutely sore.  I still left it believing that this would all calm down without intervention.  How wrong was I?  Ten days later I had to return to the dentists chair for advice and was informed that an abscess had formed.

The dentist popped the abscess with a  needle and squoze all the muck out of it.  I’m making you all feel a little sick now aren’t I?  Lol  And the pressure subsided and the pain eased.  I’m now monitoring the situation after a further visit today and him admitting that he’s not sure what is going on but we need to get rid of the infection.

I told him that I don’t like taking antibiotics unless I have to, in fact I try not to take tablets at all.  He advised that I keep squeezing my gum just like a spot to empty the contents regularly and see if it goes in a few days.

As I was leaving he said “you may have to rubber up”.  I pondered his statement with puzzlement for a while and then remarked that I didn’t understand what he was talking about.  He then added that I would need to use condoms if I’m taking oral contraception and he has to prescribe antibiotics.

I laughed and without thinking remarked “Oh, I though you were talking about fetish wear”.  He laughed and diffused the embarrassment which could have ensued.  He got a little look in to my mind for a moment.  I think he may remember my visit.  Lol

Bikini Party At The Drive-In

Bikini Drive InThe 1950s in the UK was a pretty austere time, the Second World War had left the country poor and struggling to maintain its position in the world. In the US however the 1950s seems to be regarded as something of a golden age where wealth and happiness came easily to all. OK so that might be an over simplification brought about by the movies, but the US did enjoy post-war prosperity that made the UK look a pretty grey place.

Of the many things that shone out from the US during that decade was the drive-in movie. Young high school kids meeting up at a diner that looked like it just landed from outer space then driving in their huge V8 cars to a huge lot to watch a B Movie in the open air during the eternal summer of 1050s America. Then of course there was the “making out”.

For rain-drenched and impoverished Brits the picture painted of the US by the movies, drive-ins included, was like a vision of another world where young dude had a shiny bike or car and every girl was a prom queen.

So here’s a question to all our American readers. How many of you actually managed to have sex at a drive-in? I know they’ve been in decline for years but there must be some readers who have done it?

BTW the image relates to a film called Bikini Drive-in staring Ashley Rhey, made in 1995.

Hot Ass Biker Babe

Marisa MillerIt’s no surprise to anyone that Suze loves to have something hard and throbbing between her legs. 😉 It seems if Alex isn’t between my legs these days his place is taken by something of an adult nature.

As a teenager I had a passion for guys with bikes. Not push bikes but big boys bikes…motorbikes. It was more than the excitement of taking to the road and just two wheels it was the whole package including the attire.

I love leather, the touch, the look, the sound it makes when you move and most of all the smell which tantalises my nose just like freshly cooked bread. Only bread doesn’t tend to make me wet. Lol

Today I got the chance to rekindle those thoughts and desires two fold when I spotted a story in the press. It was about Harley Davidson’s campaign to launch the V-Rod Muscle, although it appears the bike was launched towards the back end of last year the story has only just broken here.

As you can see from the image above the bike is very nice indeed but the girl taking part in the advertising campaign for Harley is stunning. In fact I found myself saying “what bike?”, Lol.

The lady in question is Marisa Miller, model for Victoria’s Secret. Now if they sent me a toy like that to test I would be more than happy. 😉

Tight And Horny

DirtyI can’t say for certain but I think the trees have started to dump pollen into the atmosphere in the UK. I know this as I’m allergic to it; My throat is sore and my nose has swollen up so I can’t breath through it. Crap Huh?

Despite this my libido still kicks on and although a bunged up head is a little inhibiting it’s still easy to slip into the mood. One thing to be said for sex when you’re under the weather is that it can be slightly mind altering. I don’t know if it’s the inflammation of membranes in your head or a slight oxygen starvation but when we made love tonight the sensations I got at orgasm were a bit freaky.

Of course my perception of an orgasm is always a bit odd because of my synaesthesia. But when I’m a bit off-colour things get even more intense and can feel really trippy.

One thing that did happen when I came – it cleared my left nostril, it suddenly doesn’t feel as congested. Another shag should see me fixed … Suze, where are you!