Monthly Archives: May 2010

Teenage Sex Controversy

BoobsSafe sex is something that almost everyone is aware of, but a great many people choose to forget about in the heat of the moment, or because of pressure from others.

Reluctance to wear a condom when appropriate is the single biggest cause of STI infection. It’s difficult to know how to approach this subject with anyone, especially teenagers who are notoriously reluctant to listen to advice and often feel indestructible and of the opinion “It’ll never happen to me”.

So it’s a pity that the UK Government is being criticised about one of it’s campaign which tried a new approach to reaching young people in an effort to spread the word about how a condom is the only way to reduce the risk of getting or passing on an STI, as well as helping to guard against unwanted pregnancies.

The BBC carried this article about the campaign and the apparent “failure” of the £250,000 video download. But I ask you, if kids will not listen to sex ed lessons, advice from their parents, posters and TV campaigns what is the government supposed to do?

Don’t knock them for trying something different. If it didn’t work then so long as the Department of Health learn from it and create a better one next time the campaign wasn’t a failure.

Sex education, sexually transmitted infections, contraception

Rammed With Sex Toys

Two cocksJay and Georgia have entered another question for our Birthday competition.  Remember there are only a few days left to enter and you could win a FREE sex toy every month for a year at no cost to you, not even the packaging.

Click here to enter.

And so without further ado here is their question:

Alex and Suze

Cheers ! This is Jay from Fit To Be Tied.

I have a question for you, after reviewing sex toys for such a long period of time, my query to you would be: what do you do with the toys after you review them ? Do they get tossed into the field with the sheep to dispose of ? Or have you been slowly collecting them to assemble that super obedient Alex 2.0 ? Or perhaps Alex is making some kind of more efficient kitchen apparatus ?

First off I will start off by saying I’m one of life’s natural horders, I hate throwing anything away which may be useful but there comes a point when you have to rationalise.

We have been reviewing toys for over 5 years now and if I had kept everything we have reviewed I think we would be having problems manoeuvring around the house, there would have been toys bursting out of every room, on the stairs and landing and bursting forth from cupboards.

What I usually tend to do is hold on to the toys which have made their way in to my bedside drawers, which by definition are the ones that do the job.  😉  I also keep hold of the top quality products and more unusual items, which are then boxed and put in to storage.

It really goes through me that I have to regularly place items in the bin because we have no adequate way to recycle them.  I’ve even considered putting them out in the charity bags we are left to fill on a regular basis.  And of course there is the regular collection by the scouts for their jumble sales.  That would bring a smile to the ladies rummaging through the old clothing and bric a brac.  Lol

Fiddle, Fuck, Faux Pas

Dildo SexHere’s a question from “Chris”, sent as an entry in our Birthday competition:

“Have I ever done anything during sex because a friend told me about it only to wind up looking like an idiot?”

The answer, amazingly, is no. It’s amazing because especially when you are young you have to take advice from whoever you come into contact with and teenage boys are not known for their wisdom and sexual knowledge. In an environment where everyone is trying to impress their friends and the opposite sex it is very difficult to work what advice and anecdotes are worth listening to and what should be rejected out of hand. In fact no, it’s virtually impossible to separate the facts from the complete bollox when teenagers talk about sex.

Teenage sexuality is based on hormones; Hormones and logic tend to be mutually exclusive so even if egos and bravado were not involved things would be difficult enough. Add to that personalities in a state of flux, the inevitable showing off and embarrassment that makes people too worried to question what seemingly knowledgeable (slightly) older kids are telling them and it’s like living in a very disturbing sexual fairytale.

Take this one example which I overheard on a bus one sunny afternoon when I was about thirteen. Two boys about my age were engaged in conversation about one of the boy’s older brothers and the antics with his girlfriend while their parents were out. The younger sibling had apparently heard his brother having sex with his girlfriend. Afterwards, when they had left, he decided to go in and investigate.

Now this is where fact turns to fiction or complete bullshit if you will. LOL He went on to say “ … I found this Biro and it had all red speckles on it … I think it was blood … he must have been using it as a dildo.”

Think about what he said.

“using [a biro] as a dildo” She must have been a very tight lady, a pussy so clenched that a smooth, hexagonal profiled plastic shaft gave her pleasure.

“I think it was blood” Where did he get the idea from that sex involved bleeding. Sounds like a mixture of half-understood sex education classes with playground talk to me.

There is no teenage boy who would need dildo when with their girlfriend. The occasional Mr Floppy caused by drink or nerves maybe but for the most part erections are a daily or sometimes hourly occurrence for the adolescent male. And if they did want to bring a dildo into the act it would only be while they recovered for the next session.

It’s rather sad to think that the younger brother thought that a girl had to bleed to have sex. I’m sure that misconception disappeared later in life. However it all goes to show that we could all have been that kid, and to a greater or lesser extent we all were.

Either I’ve had very understanding partners or been very lucky in that I haven’t dropped any huge adolescent bedroom clangers. My “reviews” have always been very good, though I was a bit disturbed when one partner scored me out of 10 … “Seven!”

I don’t speak for girls and how they are at school but it’s sad to say that some blokes retain a frightening lack of knowledge about sex into adulthood. Or perhaps more accurately retain the bravado and learn all their sexual techniques and behaviour from porn rather than by listening to their partner’s needs. Maybe that’s where the kid on the bus got his ideas about dildos and sex, having heard about or glimpsed part of a porn movie.

Actually there’s a point girls, what goes on when you talk about sex as a schoolgirl/teenager. Enquiring minds want to know.


Shiny And WetJust back from gym and ever so sticky. I need a shower.

Boy do I need a shower

The Most Extreme Sex In The World

BoobsI watched a TV programme years ago where one of the presenters pointed out that we all accept that advances in technology will happen and even if news of the latest whiz-bang gadget was exaggerated we would believe it because of our faith in progress. Or at least our faith in the fact that progress will happen as some form of inevitable element of our lives. He also observed that against that society was quite resistant to the implementation and adoption of technological change.

It occurs to me that has changed in the two or three decades since I heard those remarks. The evolution of PCs from geeky toys to real tools at work and centres of entertainment in our homes has taken place as increasingly powerful hardware and easy to use software has been developed. Few people refuse to use technology because it is now an easy to use, powerful and compelling tool rather than an end in itself.

There is I think a parallel in sexuality though the changes are not always towards acceptance. And in the same way that the Internet has connected people via the web and social networking thereby facilitated the adoption of tech into our everyday lives that same Internet has been the instigator of a change in our sexuality.

The ability to express your sexuality and see others expressing it has never been in the hands of so many people. What were once rumours of varied, exciting, strange, arousing and weird colours of sexual preference and activity are now available for everyone to see. Even in the last five years which represent only one quarter of the World Wide Web’s entire life we have witnessed huge changes in the way sexuality is perceived.

Much of what goes on out there is subtle, quiet, intimate and revealed to the wide world as a blog or social grouping on a network with little fuss. You wouldn’t know it was there unless you chose to look or were directed at it. What does get the attention is a few carefully or vociferously promoted sites and/or the extremes of sexuality.

The tabloid newspapers of course love the extremes of sex, as does the wider media to a lesser extent. The newspapers talk about “MPs sex romps with prostitutes”, “Business leader’s dark BDSM secrets” while TV adds more and more naked flesh to its output in an effort to draw better ratings from an audience spread increasingly thinly across hundreds of satellite channels and now the Internet via IP TV and video sharing.

The preconceptions always remain though. We all believe (rightly or wrongly) that there is extreme stuff out there. Take the “donkey punch” for example. There is even a film of the same name. But do you know  anyone who has punched their lover in the back of the head at the climax of anal sex? Nah, me neither.

Where in the world is the most extreme sexuality expressed? Well many people would say Germany for kink and Japan for shear oddness. I would have to agree. Take Germany first. Having visited the Venus show in Germany last year I can testify that Germans can be as kinky as hell. There is a BDSM scene and an adult industry to service it. Without exception the people we met over there were ordinary, friendly intelligent and really into their fetishes. These were people who took their sexuality seriously enough to spend time and money fulfilling it but didn’t take themselves so seriously as to de-sexualise themselves.

Not all the people at Venus were from Germany, the rest of Europe was well represented. And not every German is a kinkster but Germany seems to be a bit of a hub.

Then there’s Japan. Whereas Germany shows how a two hour flight from the UK across the North Sea can present you with a refreshingly different culture travelling to the other side of the world would present you with sexuality from a culture with completely different reference points from ours in North Western Europe. That in itself makes Japan totally different from the English-speaking biased content on the web.

Thanks to technology we can all experience each other’s sexuality. We can believe that the extremes of sex exist all over the world … we just might not want to experience them ourselves.

Sex In Uniform

Rav WildingSuze does like a man in uniform. Today we got chatting to a young policeman while we were out. Suze was very enthusiastic and when we finished I remarked about what a pleasant bloke he was.

“He was very nice. ” Replied Suze “Very, very nice.”

“Oh!”, I said “A bit young for you though.” He looked like he was fresh out of training college.

“Yes.” She agreed “We would have nothing in common. Nothing to talk about.”

“I don’t think you’d want to do much talking. ” I said, laughing.

And Suze agreed … dirty cow.

For those of you who don’t know the image is of Rav Wilding. An ex-copper who now works as a TV presenter. Suze has a thing for him too.

Sex In The Suburbs

Boots and basqueWe have a pretty average suburban semi in a beautiful semi-rural location. In most respects it’s normal, unremarkable and would be a little boring. The two things that set it apart are the view out of the windows over one of England’s national parks and the fact that we run a number of adult websites.

The latter makes the house remarkable because of the stuff that we tend to leave lying around the place, either because we are in the process of testing/reviewing it or simply have very few places left to put it.

I remember very briefly when I was a kid actually being bored. I think it was around the age of five, for about a week. Becoming interested in science, then computers put an end to that. My youth and adult life have since that time been brimming full of things to do.

Since we ventured into the world of online adult websites there isn’t enough time to do all the fun, interesting and plain naughty things we want to do.

This of course presents a problem because, if you’re in our little corner of the web, you get used to images of naked bodies, erotic books and sex toys lying around the place. When someone turns up unexpectedly it can be a bit of a panic, especially if you have a freshly cleaned sex toy in the bathroom, or have left a naughty book on the table in the living room.

The worst problem is the nephew. He’s getting quite big now, inquisitive and he’s not stupid. We may have to put a lock on the study door, but that will only make him suspicious. That’s kids.

Parents are a worry, my mother especially because she has eyes like a hawk and would spot an unusual item around the house immediately. We’ve been lucky so far.

Despite the risk of awkward questions we’re as enthusiastic as ever and loving every minute of it.

So it looks like naked flesh and fucking are going to be part of our lives and part of our house’s decor for a long while to come.

Boobs Pure Simple, Soft and Fun

I was at work today and found myself, fingers poised above the keyboard, staring through the monitor. I’d drifted off and was imagining myself elsewhere. Luckily my daydreaming was probably misread by my colleagues as deep concentration, so no problem there.

What I was thinking about was breasts. Specifically the sensations I associate with them. The feel of them, the smell, the texture and the taste of them. Anatomically they are uniquely inviting, their attributes conspiring to draw a man’s eye and lure him in. I pride myself on appreciating “the whole package” when it comes to a woman, from the gentle dance of her hair as she walks through her waist and shapely hips and down to the very tips of her toes, not mentioning her calves, I like a nice calf.

Boobs are just one of those elements of a female’s attractiveness, so I’m sure I’ll cover the rest at some point, how they make me feel, how I like to touch them, hold them … but for today it’s just boobs.

The outline of a woman’s breasts, in full light or silhouette is enough to make take notice. It’s a reflex action, a man thing, hard-wired

The weight of a breast in the hand is in itself an appealing thought. The way it feels, soft pliable, yielding. To squeeze a breast in your hand is to experience something that adolescent boys dream about, their first handful of womanly flesh is the first step on their journey towards the ultimate goal. It’s a right of passage, that first fumbling grope, often hurried, always furtive. Yes they want to get into a girl’s pants, but breasts are second base, an experience for the guy and the girl. He is allowed to touch an intimate, delicate part of her and in giving her assent for this to happen confirms her interest. Even if their encounter goes no further a line has been crossed and can at a later date perhaps lead to … Well who knows.

The skin of a breast is so soft and smooth, it begs to be touched, cries out to be licked. That’s my preferred method of sampling the sensory delights of a woman’s breasts. With my tongue. I think women enjoy it too from the feedback I get 😉 After all a hand is fine for holding her breast, affirming your possession of it, your dominion over her bosom, but a tongue is so much more sensuous for both of those involved. The most agile muscle in the human body can perform such gymnastics in its exploration of the geography of a woman’s boobs.

My favourite piece of skin on the breast is underneath, on the outside. Soft and smooth, a tongue can press into the underlying tissue and feel the weight of the breast. Inward toward the centre of the chest the skin changes texture as I circle round and over the top of the nipple in ever decreasing circles until I arrive at the areola and its central peak, a firm, sensitive nipple.

Using the tongue to traverse a breast means that I can both smell and taste a woman’s body too, my nose and taste buds in intimate contact with her epidermis. I’m not talking about the smell of perfume, but the smell of a woman. It’s subtle and more potent than any manmade concoction. It’s unique to the individual and as variable a woman’s mood. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with perfume, it’s just that a woman’s scent, uncamouflaged by chemicals is very arousing if you take the time to savour it.

Taking a nipple into your mouth, feeling its firmness, sucking, caressing with your tongue, that’s a sensation that you take time to do way after second base, maybe after you made a home run. In the rush towards your first copulation you miss the sensory pleasures that can make the ultimate act so much more enjoyable. That is youth, impatient and impulsive. That’s its strength and weakness.

Where as experience means you know how to relish the pleasures of a woman’s body. Unfortunately it means you occasionally drift of into a daydream at work.

Anal Sex Deeper Than You’ve Been Before

pantiesAnal sex anyone?

Not as easy as it sounds, or as watching porn movies would suggest. There’s a lot of rubbish talked about it by people who don’t know about anal sex. Often by those who’ve never tried it.

While we’re not experts our own research and personal experience has given us enough insight to sort out the good advice from the bad that’s scattered all over the Web and put it into one place.

You can find our guide to anal sex, dos, don’t and advice here “Anal Sex Advice“.


Sex For Money

BoxHow much does the sex industry contribute to each of the economies of the world?

There are a number of difficult questions that have to be answered before that question can be given a sensible answer.

The problem primarily is what constitutes part of the sex industry. You could say prostitution, but what constitutes a sexual service? Many people get off on being submissive and are prepared to pay for the services of a dominatrix. Does that make mistresses who offer services that don’t involve sexual acts prostitutes. I think it makes them part of the sex industry but not in the same way as what everyone would traditionally regard as a prostitute.

What about escorts? Another grey area and one where the answer may be yes or no depending on the relationship between the client and provider of the escort service.

Then there are sex toys and other adult products. They surely are part of the sex industry.

But what about magazines. The boundaries between mainstream magazines and pornographic literature are blurred. The once obvious distinction between the top shelf and other magazines is no longer there. As the Internet erodes the traditional market for the old skin mags from the hardcore side and the more adventurous periodicals that live on the naughtier side of Cosmopolitan attack them from the other the market for pornographic magazines is actually growing. Just in unexpected ways. They must form part of the total contribution that the “Sex Industry” gives to the economy.

I wonder if there are any accurate government figures? It would certainly make accountancy more interesting.

Amateur Porn

Suze… Can Teach Us All A Lesson

I’m not sure what percentage of the population has participated in this but I hold my hands up to it. Alex and I have several videos featuring us in action. They were not just a record of our encounters together but it added a kinky dimension to having sex.

Yes you were totally aware of the camera. In fact so much so that Alex kept on jumping off the bed to adjust the camera angle as we moved out of shot. Lol The result was a very amateurish video but it was of us and that made it different, exciting.

Now I come to think about it I have no idea what happened to our attempts at homemade porn. I’ll have to ask Alex when I finish writing this post.

But it brings me to the story I read about a couple of Welsh teachers who made a porn video which appeared online. No explanation is given in the story as to how it managed to turn up online.

The result is that the woman has resigned from her job and the man is facing disciplinary proceedings with the school. I wonder if the kids found it or were they stupid enough to submit it to an amateur site where they were recognised?

Either way, be careful what you do with your homemade smut. It is probably best locked away. Now to ask Alex where he put ours. 😉

Sex And Tasting A Woman

Kensho: Awakening
Satori: Enlightenment

“I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love … Yes a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence … I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women… women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.”

General Jack D. Ripper, Dr Strangelove, 1964

I have something in common with general Ripper, no I’m not clinically insane, I have a certificate to prove I’m sane, mwahahahaha!. No, the similarity is that I’m starting to believe sexual climax can sometimes bring epiphany. Not every time, not in the bolt of lightening, burning bush kind of way, but a little enlightenment nonetheless.

I think the physical exertion has something to do with it, and the single mindedness and focus that being so passionately in love and lust with someone brings. From the moment the first stirrings begin, as the blood fills my cock, when that familiar aroma begins to waft from the sweet valley between Suzanne’s legs, my mind is focussed. Clarity in such a busy world as this is rare, I suppose it takes such a pure and unadulterated state of mind, i.e. lust, to remove the complexities from the moment and allow that singularity of purpose. Which leads to where?

There are points in my life when I have seen the path ahead. In my own limited understanding of Buddhism I would have to describe them as Kensho. There are not many such points, because by their nature they are pivotal and literally life-changing. The one which is most prominent and obviously important in my life is the day Suze and I became an item. Specifically the moment we first kissed. It was a kiss on the lips, I remember the moment vividly and in that instant everything changed.

I can tell you exactly where it was, to within a few centimetres. The colour of the carpet, the walls, the layout of the room. I can recall her aroma, what she was wearing, the taste and texture of her lips on mine. I know the thrill I felt and in her surrender to me and the winds of fate I could see a path in front of me. The epiphany was gone as fast as it arrived, fleeting and more powerful because of that. In that instant everything changed and my life was set on a new course.

What ensued was a metaphorical journey on a Bullet Train through life, so that now while our own private Shinkansen is still running at a respectable speed it does not match the pace it once had.

Have I reached Satori? Not yet, though I’ve certainly had glimpses of it. I find enlightenment is like a bar of soap in the bath; the more you try to grasp it the more elusive it becomes. Over the past few months there have been a number of occasions just after sex that have tantalised me. In the hailstorm of sensory overload that accompanies my orgasms forgotten memories have tried to surface. They seem to be memories of a time of innocence, of my childhood and early teens. They are not exactly tangible yet, and I’ve not been able to slip into one of these dream-like memories for more than a few seconds. The other thing about them is that they are not memories of the events at a particular time but a state of being described in a sensory language that my mind has devised.

I suppose by definition that they are not true memories but the sum of a state of mind which is for the moment at least lost to me. That is not to diminish their importance in any way, rather it identifies them as what they are, road signs on the way to a more content and aware state of being.

The fact that they seem to occur after intense physical love is not something that I attribute to exhaustion or hallucinations, though it is like swimming through what I imagine a good acid trip would be like. If there is such a thing as a good acid trip. It’s more about freeing your mind, emptying it of thoughts (which in my case doesn’t take too long) and letting a new awareness fill the receptive void created.

Undoubtedly the way I perceive these events is linked to my synaesthesia. My perception of the world is slightly different to what might be described as the norm. That doesn’t mean that the significance or meaning of the feelings and sensations is different, simply that my mind has a different and more varied palette with which to describe the moment. That makes me feel truly blessed. I also think these moments of kensho feel more important to me as we’re finally entering a period in our lives together where we can put a lot of the crap behind us.

So in allowing the most basic of urges to be fulfilled I find that it might be leading me towards a lasting enlightenment. If satori is this much fun to attain, I’d recommend it to everyone. And if it doesn’t help me achieve satori, it’s going to be great fun trying. 🙂

Latex Navy Girl

Pin-up SailorOr is it PVC?

Whatever when I applied for the navy I didn’t think they had ratings like this. If they had I would have re-applied after failing the entry. OK, strictly I didn’t fail, long story, but they wanted me to pass with better scores so I could enter at a higher rank and life as it often does swept me away from a life in the forces before I could try again.

Anyway, if this is what the navy looks like today there must be a lot of competition.

And no, I’m not making any jokes about seamen …

Medical Fetish Flop

Silly medical fetishFollowing on from my earlier post about the ridiculous use of a stethoscope in porn earlier and how it messed up a picture of the gorgeous Aria Giovanni … here’s another one.

I’m guessing the one using the instrument is not a trained medical practitioner and the stethoscope simply distracts from the two dirty ladies about to get it one.

Hell I wasn’t even looking for this one …

Magic Sex

MagicianIf there was ever any doubt you can get a sexy version of any costime …

I’ve never heard of anyone having a magic fetish but she looks like a good reason to develop one. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me if some people do have a magic fetish I mean there are so many different fetishes in the rainbow that makes up human sexuality that I can’t imagine anything that people don’t get sexually aroused by.

Debbie McGee never looked like this.

Dirty Lady Doctor Does It For Me

Aria GiovanniSuze will tell you that I have a bit of a thing for Arian Giovanni. However there are some poses that will make and porn star look stupid not sexy.

This is a case in point, a pussy does not respire and you’d be lucky to hear a pulse on Aria’s soft, yielding lickable lips … sorry drifted off there 😛

You with me on this one? No more silly shots please, as if anyone is listening. LOL

Finger Fucks

MasturbationI was hanging about on my social networking site today chatting to my friends when someone asked a question which made me think.

They asked the question “Do you ever play and not use toys?”.

My initial response was to say that I usually use toys these days because I’m lazy.  Which I suppose is partly right but also I have so many toys waiting in line to be tested that I feel a quick finger fuck would be a wasted opportunity to give one a run for its money.

And to be honest fingers are good but if it’s a quick thrill I’m after then a battery operated clit vibe or vibrator will do the trick far quicker.

I suppose in a way I’m too spoilt for choice now to go back to the old ways.  Lol

Bondage With the Neighbours

Bettie Page SpankingLong-time readers will know that when our neighbours first moved in we suspected they might be swingers. Well Suze did. She got the idea into her head and once lodged there she wouldn’t let it go.

Interestingly her suspicions weren’t without foundation. The number of different people coming and going was huge. The most persuasive bit of “evidence” was that the number of people in the house over night meant that unless they were mainly sleeping on the floor there would have been some very crowded beds.

The number of visitors has died off and although we never really found out who the legions of nocturnal revellers were it’s probably accurate to assume they probably have a big extended family.

That was until last night …

Suze was out and I was working. I heard a knock at the door. It was the couple from next door, so I invited them in.

She went into the lounge and he and I into the kitchen to make a drink. I was curious as to why they had come round. When we made our way to the lounge I found out why.

She had undressed down to a strappy leather catsuit type thing with metals studs. I was rather shocked, suddenly thinking they were suggesting Suze and I swing. Then he pulled out a thin printed magazine and showed it to me. It was a BDSM themed publication which he explained they wrote and published …

OK, at this point I realised it was a dream. A very, very weird dream that I can only ascribe to our initial rather mischievous suspicions about the couple. I’m chuckling about it now as that’s where the dream ended, with my surprise at the revelation that they were, in my dream at least, active BDSMers and publishers. This morning I didn’t have enough time to tell Suze about the dream so she’ll be reading about it the first time when she reads this.

Strange how the subconscious works isn’t it. Throwing up these things. But if one of our neighbours were to make such a revelation I wouldn’t be shocked. After all would you be shocked if one of your colleagues, friends or neighbours were to come out as say a sex blogger?

After you might know us and not realise it. LOL.

Slow, Silent Lapdance

Pole DancerIt would imagine that it’s virtually impossible to perform a lapdance without musical accompaniment, after all it’s all about the moves made in time with the music.  The music adds another dimension to the experience making it both sensual and arousing to watch.

But lapdancers at the Buffalo Lounge in Leeds will have to perform without music since the owner of the club Sarwinder Singh-Nagla was found to be playing music without a licence.  He’s now looking at paying a fine of £10,000 or a jail sentence of up to 6 months.

He has been ordered to purchase a licence for his establishment at a cost of £15,000.  That’s a lot of private dances!