Monthly Archives: July 2010

The Cute Ass Is The Thing

BrazilNow, I can’t work out if I’m excited by the cute ass …

… or if I’m turned off by the fact the bikini bottoms have been up a sweaty arse crack. LOL

Maybe I’m over-thinking this.

Like A Virgin, Oooh!

Madonna

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I’m not going to make any assertions as to whether Madonna was a virgin when she made this song. Though her first time when it comes to hit songs is one that will always stick in my head. In the video she does look a bit more “Shiny and new” than in more recent pictures of her in the British press.

There is such a thing as being too lean you know.

Cumming In Leather

He watched her scurry across the carpark, her kitten heels clipping on the pavement until she reached her car. Her raincoat was draped over her arm, not quite concealing the swatch book in her hand. He pondered for a moment. She did this every day, slip the bound pile of upholstery squares out of the showroom and bring them back the next morning. It was intriguing, but that was all she took. She wasn’t stealing, simply borrowing and the swatch book was always back the next morning.

~~~

The next night was Saturday and he asked her and another junior colleague to stay behind for a stocktake. By 18:00 the doors were closed and the showroom shuttered, by 22:00 they were almost done and he let the junior make his way home.

“I’m going to enter the rest of these figures into the computer, can you finish off counting the rugs in the warehouse and then we’re done.”

He left for the office and spent 30 minutes rattling at the keyboard. When he returned to the showroom floor he could hear a strange noise. At first it was so quiet that he could not make it out but as he walked slowly and with deliberate stealth between the faux living rooms and bedrooms made up to display the furniture store’s wares he realised it was her moaning.

The moan was stifled for some reason. Had they been burgled? Was there an intruder holding her?

His heart raced. He turned the corner past a particularly grotesque lounge display and into the bedroom area.

Looking into the opulent “Emperor” bedroom suite display he saw something that shocked him even more than a masked intruder.

She was still wearing her company sky-blue blouse and dark blue pencil skirt. But the blouse was open and her breasts were exposed, her skirt was hitched up around her waist and her knickers were at the side of her bed, along with her shoes.

She was moaning, deeply, but the moans were stifled because of the corner of a leather swatch rolled up in her mouth and gripped tightly between her teeth. Her head was thrown back, her dark chestnut hair spread across the bed. Her hand rubbed her pussy, both wet with her juices.

He watched as two fingers dived in and out of her snatch, oblivious to him and to the growing wet patch on the expensive silk sheets that covered the bed.

The manager in him felt outrage at her unprofessional behaviour, but the man in him easily overruled it and he could feel his cock throbbing and growing. He began to rub himself through his trousers, he wanted to pull out his cock and slowly wank as she frigged herself to orgasm. But that would have been wrong and this way he could wait until she had finished, admonish her and then attend to his own needs.

She drew her legs up so her heels touched her buttocks and pushed her fingers deeper inside her. He should see she was cumming. She shuddered and the moaning became almost a scream.

Then she became aware of him. She saw the hand on his crotch.

The swatch fell from her mouth and she uttered the words he longed for “Fuck me, please.”

He dropped his trousers with as much haste as he could without falling over and with his underwear and trousers still wrapped around one ankle crawled onto the bed and pushed his cock deep inside her.

She reached to her side, grasped the swatch and pushed it into her mouth, smelling and tasting the leather. He sucked at her breasts the nipples already swollen and sensitive. He licked, then sucked, then nibbled then bit them. She did not mind, in fact it was what she wanted and bit onto the leather, screaming into the roll of hide, eyes wide and animal.

He felt her pussy grip his cock and his groin become wet with her. He slammed his cock into her mons over and over, a fiery wild orgasm spewing cum into her.

After collapsing on top of her he took several minutes recover and consider the situation. He decided that his job had great fringe benefits.

Feltching

Here’s a question.

Where does the term feltching come from.

If Sadism comes from The Marquise De Sade and masochism from Sacher Masoch, then is there an Erick Feltcher out there who invented the practice of feltching.

Then of course there’s the fact that there are two different definitions of feltching …

Odd eh?

And well done if you got to here and didn’t just look at the picture LOL.

Cum On Her Glasses

MeganekkoGlasses fetish is quite common, it’s definitely real because there’s a Japanese name for it Meganekko. Then again there’s a Japanese word for pretty much any fetish you can think of so maybe that’s not such a certain proof of its existence.

Like all fetishes the compulsions around it can drive people to do all sorts of things, including a guy who I read about who stole dozens of pairs of glasses at gunpoint to satisfy his cravings. While his crimes don’t appear to have a sexual element I can’t help wondering if he hasn’t got any glasses porn tucked away somewhere. It does seem a strange compulsion to have otherwise. Or maybe he had a fixation on someone, maybe a girlfriend or a movie star even who wears glasses?

We all have our little obsessions that to others must seem incredibly strange but committing armed robberies for glasses frames is at least odd measured against most people’s view of vaguely normal behaviour.

Getting Cock In The Great Outdoors

Scissor SistersI was rather amused to read a story on the BBC website today in the same way that as a child I took great delight in looking up naughty words in the dictionary or trying to slip swear words in to conversations with parents.

After all the BBC is an institution and doesn’t get involved in things of a naughty persuasion, just look at the One Show.  Mary Whitehouse would be pleased to watch.  Lol

The story I read tickled me because it involved someone posting up pictures of a todger with a yellow ribbon tied round it.  You can read the full story here. I hope they give us an update when they find the guy it’s attached to.  🙂

Cumming For Ruth

OfficeHe’d walked past her every day, occasionally nodding, exchanging the sort of polite style that co-workers do when they recognise each other’s face but don’t know their name. Months passed but it was only when he was put on secondment to another department that he actually found out where in the towering company offices she worked.

Her department was being relocated to another floor and the newly refitted, empty offices smelt of new carpet and freshly unpacked office equipment.

He put down the file box he was carrying to knock on the door. The nameplate, freshly cut, read “Ruth Thomas, Marketing Director”.  When the voice inside bid him enter he put a name to her face for the first time.

“Hello.” Said Ruth, smiling warmly. She rose from her chair and offered her hand. “I’m Ruth.”

“Ed.” Her replied and took her hand.

He looked her up and down. She was about 5’ 3” wearing jeans and a red blouse fitted under her bust. Very unlike her normal office attire. Her hair was tied up but in a pony tail not with the normal impeccable neatness that she wore around the office, a few strands of hair hung loose around her face. She was obviously still moving into the office, hence the files he was carrying and surrounded by yet to be unpacked office furniture.

“Can you put that behind the door, over there.” She asked. “Thanks.” She turned around and walked back to her desk. “I’m sure we’ll get this tidied up one day.” She laughed. “Do you fancy a coffee?”

“Please.”

She poured them both a cup and leant against her new desk chatting to him, asking about his role in the company, his likes, his dislikes. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up every time she addressed him in her rich, soft tones. His eyes, while first drawn to her chest which filled her blouse until the buttons tugged at their threads, spent a lot of time looking at her face. She was fifteen, maybe twenty years his senior but her eyes were playful, young, alive and quite beguiling.

“I have to get back.” Said Ed excusing himself, suddenly conscious of the time.

“OK, I’ll take that.” Ruth reached out to take the cup from him, her hand brushing his.

Ed jumped. “Don’t worry, I won’t bite. Well not unless you want me to.” Giggled Ruth, only half joking. She was flirting with him, her body movements had suddenly become slow and cat like. Ed felt a rush of excitement but immediately dismissed it as his imagination making something out of nothing simply because for some reason he found this older woman intensely sexual.

Ruth took the cup and put it on the filing cabinet next to her then took his hand between both of hers. “You see. Nothing to worry about.” She didn’t let go and slid one hand up the soft skin of his inner forearm, only stopping when she reached the rolled up sleeve of his shirt. She made small circles on his arm with her neatly manicured nails which made him shudder.

He looked down at her eyes that now challenged him to make the next move. He did. Leaning forward he kissed her on the lips and immediately felt her mouth open, inviting him inside. His tongue slid in and tussled with her. She leant back on the filing cabinet and he pressed against her. Her arms slid around his back and grasped his bum pulling him towards her and pressing the bulge in his trousers into her stomach. Ed Braced himself on the top of the cabinet with his arms becoming conscious of Ruth’s breasts pressed between them.

Several minutes passed before they eventually parted, breathless and needful.

Ruth unbuttoned her blouse and peeled the fabric back to reveal a red lacy bra underneath.  She was endowed with large breasts that gave her an inviting soft cleavage, one that Ed wanted to investigate. He reached out and cupped a breast in one hand, squeezing it through the lacy material of her bra.

“Do you like them?” Asked Ruth, knowing the answer from the look on his face. He nodded. She slipped the blouse from her shoulders and tossed it onto the desk. “Come and sit down …”

Ed sat on her leather chair and Ruth sat on Ed across his lap. Her chest was almost level with his face now and he was about to reach around and unclip her bra when she did so. The heavy mounds that were revealed were not the petit and pert kind that his girlfriend had, these were soft and sensuous in a way he wasn’t used to, her nipples were quite large but in proportion to her tits and her nipples were erect and inviting. Ed leaned forward to first lick and suck them. Soon he began to nibble and as the intensity of his attentions increased Ruth’s moans of appreciation grew louder.

Ruth grabbed Ed’s head and pressed him to her chest, desperate for release and enjoying the effect she was having on her young colleague. His cock was now a massive lump in his trousers and she imagined it must be very uncomfortable giggled at the thought.

She pushed Ed away and stood up. He looked at her quizzically and wondered if she had suddenly decided it wasn’t such a good idea after all. “I need to cum.” She said, chest heaving. Her fingers unfastened her jeans and pushed them over her hips taking her panties with them until they were mid-thigh. Her pussy was covered in dark brown hair, neatly trimmed and fragrant with arousal.

“Can I see it?” Asked Ruth.

Ed fumbled with his trousers and pulled out his cock through his flies. Ruth began to rub her clitoris frantically, seeking an orgasm that was so close. She bit her lip, boobs jiggling a little. She watched Ed stroking his cock and imagined his length inside her. That was enough to trigger her orgasm. It grabbed her and made her head roll first forward then back. She emitted a shuddering  “Yesss!!” and continued to rub before gaining her composure and returning her gaze to his now dribbling cock.

“You’re going to get that over my new carpet.” She teased. Ruth knelt in front of him and pushed his hand away before wrapping hers around his shaft. She began to masturbate Ed firm and fast, watching his facial expression for the clues that presaged his ejaculation.

“That’s it, you’re going to cum aren’t you? Let’s see what you’ve got.” She cupped her hand and pulled down his cock to point at it.

Ed began to squirt cum into her palm, he grunted as she continued to wank and milk his cock for every last drop of semen. When Ed regained his composure Ruth was running her finger through the sticky white fluid in her hand.

“I love it when it’s hot, straight out of a guy’s balls.” She mused. “Now, let’s talk about a transfer to the sales team for you, eh?”

July Sex Toy Roundup

Foxy BoxerWell June certainly was another busy month for both of us in terms of developing the sites and reviewing products, with a few new and exclusive items on the list.

There have also been some new developments across our sites, mainly the new mobile interfaces which Alex has just launched so you can now view this site, Sex Toys Buzz and Erotic Buzz on your mobile phones with greater clarity.

So when you are next in the adult store wondering which toy or DVD to purchase you can attaché to our sites and read our reviews to enable you to make an informed decision before you buy.

If you haven’t already joined our Sex Toys Buzz Newsletter then ensure you do so you don’t miss out on all the goodies on offer.  Once signed up you will be entered in to the FREE monthly product draw.  This month we are offering a beautiful Zini Roae up for grabs which I have tested here.  There is nothing to pay, not even the postage, so what have you got to loose.

I’ll let you in to a little secret.  There is another exclusive review lined up for Sex Toys Buzz in the next couple of days so stay tuned.

In the meantime you can catch up on the products we reviewed last month, there were some really varied and interesting toys for both boys and girls.

Close To You Opus

Hot Lips Cock Ring

Lotus Pyrex Glass Dildo

Tenga Double Hole Cup

Der Wal Glass Vibrator

Pleasure Orb

Clitty Spinner Dolphin Vibrator

Body Curve Vibrator

Wining And Moaning

Red Wine GlassAs if we needed an excuse to partake in a glass of good red wine, we now have an excellent reason. A study has been carried out on 800 women between the age of 18 and 50 by doctors at the University of Florence, examining the effect of red wine consumption on their sexual function.

An interesting study…

Women who drank more than two glasses per day were excluded from the study as not to skew the results by being inebriated. Lol

All of the participants were said to be in good sexual health and divided up in to three groups, those who frequently consumed one or two glasses, those who consumed less than a glass per day of wine or alcohol and ones who drank nothing.

You can see how the test turned out here, I was rather surprised.

Right, I’m off to open a bottle of Shiraz…Alex!

Town Of Fuck

Fucking In Austria Road SignCan you believe that there is a small Austrian village in the municipality of Tarsdorf. It is situated 21 miles north of Salzburgh if you are thinking of looking it up.

I suppose it translates as something completely different to our version of the name. Lol In fact it probably is pronounced differently too.

Tourists are making life for the citizens there a misery by posing in suggestive ways by the sign which has prompted evasive action. Even resorting to pinching the signs on a regular basis. They have now installed CCTV cameras to monitor the lude and rude behaviour.

Despite the obvious problems the villagers voted to stick with the town’s name back in 2004 despite having to constantly replace road signs and look the other way.

Do you have any strange town or village names near to you?

Not So Virtual Porn

Church SignHere’s a good idea for a site, and this one is free to anyone, I’m putting it into the public domain.

You know all those church sign sites where you can generate the irreverent US-style church signs … how about a cross between that, Elf Yourself (the Christmas Elf Flash movie creator) and some stock porn movie stills.

As with Elf Yourself you could load up some images of your face and have them superimposed onto the porn movie stills. Just to impress your friends.

Well it’s just a though …

Naughty Playmate

MichaelOI quite often enter a text string in to Google images just to see what pops up against it.  The results can sometimes be quite astonishing.

Today my search term was “playmate” and the first image in the search was this lady.  I really like this action girl image and other ones like it that I found courtesy of the graphic artist known as MichaelO.

You can find his work over here.

Bad, Bad Animals

Pets With TourettesBefore we start this is not in the sexual sense. Scroll down for the smutty stuff. 😉

I watched a very interesting program a few weeks ago about individuals afflicted with Tourettes. It really did give an insight in to the daily dilemmas and issues faced by sufferers who are totally aware of their illness and uncontrollable outbursts.

It followed over a number of years two key people, a boy and a young man and it left me with so much empathy for them. These two guys had a level of acceptance for their condition which was made liveable by the fact that they saw the Tourettes side of their character as a different being.

If you ever get the chance to watch this programme do so it is very educational, you will never look at a sufferer in the same way again. And that was achieved by the brilliant coverage and scripting.

Now on a lighter note and I think this would also be appreciated by fellow suffers I direct your attention to the book in the top left corner. I have no idea what the book is about, it just made me smile.

It is a proper publication available on Amazon here.

The Funniest Yet Disturbing Sex Video

American PsychoAmerican Psycho was a film that we didn’t watch for a long time. The reason was simple. It looked a bit naff from the cover design and it had the word psycho in the title.

That might sound a bit odd but we don’t like sensationalist crap and quite frankly appending the word psycho to something smacked of just that – sensationalism. However we’re completely open to suggestion and having mentioned it to a movie buff friend of mine (I think we were talking about the Dark Knight) he said it was worth a watch …

We’re now huge fans of the film. It’s not perfect but it’s really entertaining and a great performance by Bale.

Anyhoo, if you haven’t seen American Psycho the video above might be a bit lost on you. If you have you’ll spot every reference and appreciate the clever weaving of the music video and the plot of the film. Just without the gory bits. It’s a great Homage and Suze likes the look of Miles Fisher the singer too.

As Suze’s interest had been aroused by Mr Fisher I looked him up and it turns out he’s quite famous … just not appeared in stuff we’ve watched LOL. I suspect we’ll be watching a lot of new TV shortly. Eh Suze?

Fuck Me Hurt Me

Fucked From BehindI don’t think I have ever thought of the phrases “fuck me” and “hurt me” as anything other than being mutually exclusive.  You see I like a bit of a spank but I don’t like pain.  For me discomfort is unpleasant and not at all arousing, pleasure and pain being just a little separate.  😉

But tonight as I pointed my ass skyward, leaning in on my elbows, head buried in to the pillow I changed my religion briefly.  He was so big and so hard that he was actually bottoming out on my cervix and causing me some discomfort.

Don’t panic!  I wasn’t complaining.  Don’t ask me why.  But as he thrust deep inside me I was in seventh heaven.  My g-spot was being massaged at the same time as my cevix was being pounded and his girth was stretching me.  Fuck knows why he was so big but I wasn’t about to lodge a complaint. Far from it.

I was laughing, crying, enjoying every moment of this pleasure/pain as Alex fucked me.  I squirted and felt the hot liquid ooze from within me, down my thighs, making me wet, cooling as it went.  The relentless grinding continued and I was so fucking wet!

He pushed hard and deep again and I found my head almost making contact with the bedhead.  Then I heard him moan like an injured animal as he pushed, trembled and came inside me.  Our juices mingled together as he injected his warm sperm deep inside me.

I brushed my long hair behind my ears and rolled over on to my back as he collapsed in to the mattress.  Boy, did I feel like I had been fucked!

 

Show Your Pussy Stupid Girl

Legs Wide OpenWe have all had a shot at taking dirty pictures of each other. Well, most of us. Lol I’ve done my fair share of playing model and camera girl.

The image above sends home the message that you should be careful about when and where you start to get a bit naughty with the lens. Or you may have some explaining to do. 😉

Foaming Blow Job

Sprite Spoof AdLast week I was reading all over the Internet about a German guy who had made a spoof ad featuring Sprite. Max Isaacson the German creator of the ads said that they were originally loaded on YouTube and taken down despite the fact he allegedly made a claim that they were made on spec and not commissioned.

I spent Friday afternoon looking for a copy of the video so I could see for myself what all the furore was about. Despite it being covered in most of the press there were no links to the actual video to be found.

But persistence pays off and I have managed to find a copy of the video so that you can check it out for yourselves.

Enjoy!

Gimme Real Girls To Fuck

Xerox WomenI’ve just finished one of my more random Internet excursions that took me way back to my childhood. The details of my Web journey are irrelevant though it confirmed to me that I’ve never been one for girls as such. I don’t mean that when I was a boy I didn’t go out with girls, simply that I don’t like girly girls.

Feminine yes, that’s something entirely different and is often confused with being girly. Feminine is about being sophisticated, self-assured, controlled and yet knowing when to let go and unleash the passionate female within. It is not talking about frilly things all the time and pretending to be less intelligent than you are.

Maybe it’s a way of putting men who are intimidated by strong women at their ease but I hate girls who loose all their opinions, intelligence and personality when they’re around a guy they find attractive, or at least a guy who they think finds them attractive. In a way you could say that if they are daft enough to become living Barbie dolls for a bloke then they deserve exactly what they get. Then again if young men think that women are just giggling idiots waiting to become ornaments for their arms they are hardly going to look any further than something that appears to be a compliant and willing partner.

OK so that’s a generalisation and things have moved on a bit since I was at primary school but my original point is still valid. I have always found mature, intelligent women attractive and I’m turned off by bimbo-ism. Relationships are partnerships and I can’t think of many things more hideous than an un-balanced and contrived pairing that is formed from either desperation or compliance with society’s expectations of what you should be.

The other extreme is of course the overly assertive female. Like men women can become too assertive, too sure of themselves sometimes in an attempt to compensate for what they perceive as their own shortcomings. It doesn’t matter what sex you are male or female, I am always suspicious of anyone who tells you categorically “how it is”. It’s like those awful self-help books where you chant mantras to increase your self-esteem. The supreme irony of course is that in the last week or so I heard of some research that seems to prove the chanting of such mantras actually subconsciously undermines your self-esteem. LOL

Peer pressure is something I noticed very early on at school. The groups of girls and boys who seemed to pick up on an idea, a friendship, a TV programme or a film and talk about nothing else. Then they’d postulate theorise and develop opinions about whatever it was that grew so disproportionate to original (film, programme or whatever) that it became surreally displaced from reality.

One instance I remember was a group of friends (me included in this) who started to show off about how they had been up soooo late the night before and seen a Godzilla (or similar) monster flick. We all joined in and added our own embellishments and observations to prove that we’d seen it. Me included, LOL. I wager that none of us had stayed up past the first ten minutes at which point we’d be ushered off to bed – hell we were about eight! I know we were all lying because we were all agreeing and confirming what the guy just before us had said. Quite a vivid memory that one, I can even tell you exactly where in the school yard we were standing.

So please, give me a real, honest woman to talk to, to flirt with and to fuck!

Getting In Her Pants

Ana Beatriz Barros.jpgAnd so does everyone else. Lol Are you sat there asking “Who is she?” just like I did earlier today. She is the gorgeous Ana Beatriz Barros. She is a stunning 5’10” brunette who comes all the way from Brazil and if that’s what Brazilians look like I’m emigrating. 😉

It appears that she has been around since 2002 when she modelled for Victoria’s Secret. She has also modelled for Jennifer Lopez’s underwear range more recently.

Currently she is working with French undies manufacturer Passionata and has been commissioned to appear in the prestigious Pirelli Calendar for 2010.

I can’t believe I hadn’t spotted her until today. I’m going to be having some naughty dreams about her.

Mega Lube For Mega Anal

Latex MaidWe took a trip out to the Sex Shop last weekend. I forgot to tell you about it. It’s a great place to check out the consumers and what they are purchasing and I like to check out any new DVD’s on the shelves.

In fact we ought to be offered a cup of tea when we go now being regulars. Lol Their stock isn’t too bad, they try to keep it up to date as best they can but they don’t carry many of the latest items. And certainly can’t compare to the online stores as far as pricing goes.

But one thing they do have in their favour is that you can actually touch the items and check them out. So we usually go and if I see anything I remember what it was and ask one of our sponsors if they can send me one. It’s great being a reviewer. Lol

On this occasion there was a rather strange couple in the shop who wouldn’t have looked out of place in Psycoville. One was obviously female and the other was boderline. I’m normally good at spotting trans-gender people but this one had me foxed.

Anyway, they spent a considerable amount of time checking out the vibes and then turned their focus to the lubes on the central stand near where I was standing. And for some reason I felt compelled to listen to their conversation.

They were discussing which lube would be best and then the shop assistant made her way over. One of them asked what the largest size they did was. Horny I thought.

She disappeared off in to the back and I made my way round the product displays to continue my research. I lost track of the conversation but caught site of them leaving. The he/she person had the largest bottle of lube I have ever seen outside an adult trade show under their arm.

I’m thinking there is either going to be a lube shortage and I hadn’t heard about it or some serious partying. 😉