Monthly Archives: August 2010

Kink In The Bedroom

Vac BedFor those of you wondering what the image is.  It’s a vacbed.  I first saw one of these in a porn film a couple of years ago but rather than it being horizontal they had mounted it in a frame allowing access from all sides.

As I recall there was a rather nice girl inside it, with her breasts and face exposed, allowing her partner in the scene to fondle and kiss her.  It was a very arousing girl on girl scene.

Since that first glimpse I have wanted to try one out, to experience the embrace of latex all over my body.  To feel like I’m being hugged all over by a soft sensuous hand.

Hmmm, I getting quite moist just thinking about it.  😉

Sex And Scaring The Horses

Flower Power GirlI was born from parents who still smelled of josticks and for a time at least tended to wear slightly flowery clothing. It’s possible, no probable that they therefore got up to a few interesting things in their formative years. Things that as a son I really didn’t ought to think about too carefully.

However things don’t change much over the generations. You could put this aversion to thinking of parents as sexual beings as being a product of our times, where we know the sexual possibilities and cower at the thought of the things that our parents might have done. The fact is however that every human being ever born has a sexuality as great as our own and it is only the way in which they have expressed it over time that has changed.

Both my maternal grandmother and her mother had interesting love lives that only came to my attention after their deaths – my father is a wealth of information when he’s had a couple of whiskies at Christmas LOL. Respect for them prevents me from saying exactly what they got up to but their behaviour betrays the fact that they were simply human and driven by the same urges as we, apparently more sophisticated, humans.

On my paternal side my antecedents were equally “interesting” a few generations back leading to a particularly colourful family skeleton that only emerged from the closet a couple of years ago.

Only a few years ago I thought I was “So normal”.

Of course I am normal; in the same way that every one of us is utterly normal in the way in which we are thoroughly and uniquely individual.

It might not be comfortable to imagine our parents, siblings or offspring having a sexual side but it is a fact of life and due to the infinite variability of human sexuality the ways in which they express themselves sexually will be surprising, alarming, amusing and deeply meaningful to them all at the same time.

Fuck My Mouth And Cum For Me

I woke up this morning feeling so horny, if I had possessed a cock it would have been as hard as a rock. 😉 Suze must have had what would be called a wet dream if I was a guy. Between my legs was throbbing and my inner thighs were damp.

Alex was sleeping like a baby, it was about 7.30am. I know it was early but I tried in vain to get back to sleep for a while longer as we rise early in the week for work. But I just couldn’t settle and besides I wanted “IT”.

He was laying on his side facing me and at first I pondered about giving him a gentle kiss on the lips to wake him and then reveal to him that I wanted to fuck his brains out. I decided to go for the far more subtle option.

I slowly and carefully eased myself under the duvet as not to wake him. When I reached his groin I felt around in the dark until I found his cock. Bugger! The end was trapped between his legs.

Only one thing for it. I started to gently glide my hand over his stomach in a carefree way, just stroking him gently. Then I went for it, I moved my hand down to his groin and ran my fingers over the base of his cock.

That worked he sleepily moaned and opened his legs to allow me to free him. I think at this point he was semi awake but kept his eyes closed taking advantage of the situation. Don’t tell him I said that but I’m sure he was. 😉

I began to massage his cock against his groin, rolling him gently, slowly. He responded well to my ministrations and within minutes he was becoming firm. He was now hard enough for me to wank.

Before I started I took the end of his cock in to my mouth and coated it with saliva and then backed off to let my hand do the work. I slid his foreskin back and forth slowly, he liked that. 😉 Another moan issued from him.

I speeded up my hand movement and he began to fuck my hand.

That cock was now coursing with blood and sticking out like an arm. I wriggled over to him and took him into my mouth. Immediately Alex started to fuck me and I coughed as he caught the back of my throat in his eagerness.

Just a few minutes and I’ll get on all fours, point my ass at him and ask him to slide in, I though to myself.

I pursed my lips around his cock, pulling his foreskin back with each push inwards. I placed my tongue underneath to massage his frenulum and he fucked away at me. My cheeks sank in as I sucked down hard on that erect cock.

Alex was now between my legs, opening my thighs to gain entry. I felt the warm softness of his tongue on my clit as he flicked it, teased it, made it swell. I moaned my appreciation as best I could from his groin.

I grasped his buttocks and pushed him towards my mouth, making him fuck me faster. It felt so erotic, so damn dirty sucking him off that I completely forgot about him fucking me. I was enjoying this too much to stop now.

My hands had a firm grip on his ass and I began to move my head up and down his hard shaft.

“Suze! Stop I’m going to come”, he shouted from between my legs.

But I couldn’t stop myself and then…

…spurt, spurt…spurt, I felt the ricochet of his ejaculation hitting the roof of my mouth. Then I coughed as one hit the very back. I could taste him, smell him, I wanted to devour him.

As we both stood in the bathroom waiting for the sink to fill with water I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I had a crispy white coating over my top lip. Now I wonder what that was. 😉

Bare Naked Fetish

Gummy Bear ParaphiliaThe Internet is a place where everyone’s own little fetishes can be expressed. We’ve long since given up thinking “We’ve seen it all now.” Because there is always someone who’s going to prove us wrong.

For a while the Internet has been becoming flooded out with Lego reconstructions of films, books, pictures, porn … and to be honest ingenious though some of them are I find myself getting a little tired of them now.

This guy came to the rescue today with his Gummy Bear Paraphilia calendar.

You can see the full calendar here and buy it here.


Fishnets And Fellatio

GirlscoutHow Small Is Your Fetish?

I believe we all have fetishes, even if they are not the driving force and defining element of our sexuality. Each of us has something that turns us on and excites us out of all proportion to its actual significance.

I started thinking about this when I was going over the little fetishes I have in my own mind. Some of them are very specific and relate to the most exact circumstances and sensory stimuli.

There are the obvious ones, stockings, slightly over-done makeup, the skirt suit and the secretary look … they aren’t so much fetishes though they do it for me without fail. But there are certain things about a women in a skirt suit that I think are a bit fetishy … crossing and un-crossing legs, adjusting the hem of an on-the-knee skirt. I suppose it’s the sort of very human things but within a professional and controlled environment that highlight the humanity and therefore sexuality of the person doing them.

It’s the same with the really cliché action of touching a woman a pen on their lips. To me it’s not the phallic symbolism (and thank goodness my dick isn’t that thin) it’s the unconscious nature of the action and maybe the sensual appeal of lips slightly parted that imply a kiss rather than a blow job. Much more subtle and certainly more personal.

Anyone else have any very specific fetishes like that. It could be a specific tattoo, on a specific person, as opposed to just being into tattoos, or maybe sex in a certain place at a certain time … it would be interesting to hear.

The XXX Girls

Kerry LouiseWe love the girls over at PureXXX films. There’s the very naughty Angel Long, the lovely Laura and of course the vivacious Kerry Louise.

We’ve reviewed one of their productions (Angel Long’s Fresh Meat) over at Erotic Buzz.

What could be better than that?

Well watching them make a porn movie, that’s what. We’ll be doing just that on 9/10 September so keep your eyes open for reports from the set and articles afterwards.

The Orgasm Machine

SuzeWe’ve been busy over at Sex Toys Buzz, our sex toy review site. After a lot of deliberation we’ve installed a new template and while it’s not quite finished we’ve made it live.

It gives you more information on the front page with lots of nice thumbnails that are clickable and take you through to our sex toy reviews.

Let us know what you think and while you are over there pick your new orgasm machine 🙂


BlondeParts of today have been really nice and sunny.

Other parts rather wet, but at the moment it’s rather windy.

Looks like the summer’s been blown for us in the UK 🙁

You never know we might get a late one in September … so long as 9th and 10th of September are nice and bright hehehe.

Girls And Their Pussies

Britain seems to have a dual personality, especially when viewed from outside. On the one hand there’s the “British reserve”, stiff upper lip and all that. On the other there’s Benny Hill. Alright Benny Hill and the rest of the Music Hall style comedy that populated the TV of the 50s, 60s, 70s and to a lesser extent 80s.

So at one end of the scale we have what would be regarded by non-Brits as Victorian values, and at the other extreme is a music hall tradition that encompasses Pantomime and End Of The Pier shows.

I think I’ve touched on this before when I mentioned Kenny Everret, specifically his character Cupid Stunt. Looking back now the spoonerism is obvious. But in my defence I was young and naïve. Kenny was an incredible figure, a rebel and in his own way very anti-establishment. He started off in pirate radio and while he did land a job with the BBC got himself sacked because of a quip about Margaret Thatcher. From memory it was along the lines of “When we had an Empire we had an Empress, when we had a Kingdom we had a King, now we have Maraget Thatcher we have a Country.” Check him out on Wikipedia if you want to know more.

Kenny is not alone, both in irreverent, highly camp, comedy steeped in sexual innuendo of the sledgehammer kind.

UK readers will remember Larry “Shut that door” Grayson. My abiding memory is of him on “The Generation Game”, were his constant anecdotes about his fictional friends Everard, Slack Alice and a postman called ‘Pop it in Pete’. Not sophisticated but for their time very funny and quite brave as homophobia was rife. When Larry first began his act as a stand-up and drag artist homosexuality was illegal in England so basing your living on being gay was quite brave to say the least.

On the subject of innuendo and me being as thick as a plank, how about Molly Sugden as Mrs Slocombe? If you’ve seen “Are You Being Served” you’ll know the drill. Her entire character was based around a working class shop assistant with aspirations to bettering herself. She had an affected middle class accent that would disappear if she was shocked/upset/ angry or otherwise off her guard. That in itself was, I think, the genius part of Molly’s charactrisation. But she was really famous for the continuous stream of jokes about her Pussy. Of course as a child I always assumed it was a cat. So we had “stroking my pussy”, “showing so-and-so my pussy”, “my pussy drives him wild” and “damp pussy” jokes galore, before the 9 o’clock watershed.

Not all British performers are what they seem though. Remember Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf in Lord Of The Rings, or as Richard III, or now as Lear? Well you might be interested to know that he has another passion, putting on a frock and playing a pantomime dame. Now there’s someone truly at home with themselves. (he’s the one on the left)

Ooh The Schoolgirls

SchoolI had to pop into the supermarket on the way home and was pleasantly surprised by the latest marketing drive to encourage parents to stock up on stuff for their kids. The Back to School promotion was being supported by all the female members of staff dressing up as schoolgirls.

Now, that put a smile on my face because of course they’re all grown up girls, some of them very grown up. Every possible shape, size age and naughtiness … if you know what I mean.

As Suze pointed out when I told her about it, it’s going to encourage the dads to get involved with preparing their kids for school LOL

From my point of view it’s going to encourage me to go and get any sort of groceries. :o)

More Ways To Eat Cum

Sperm based RecipesI’ve never put it to the acid test but it is claimed that what you eat is reflected in how your sperm tastes. Obviously it is good for you to drink plenty of water and avoid alcohol and cigarettes, in fact anything that pollutes the body. But this is the real world.

It is claimed that cum is composed of 90% seminal fluid which carries the 1% sperm content along with trace elements like fructose which is a sugar protein, nutrients and minerals. Allegedly the PH value of sperm is 7 which is neutral.

You can change the sweetness of your sperm by eating more fruit such as cranberries, melons (don’t ! lol) apples, pineapple, any fruit which is high in sugar. Vegetables can help too but it is recommended that you steer clear of any from the cabbage family. I’m thinking that is an obvious one for other reasons. 🙂 Oh and don’t go near asparagus because it makes your pee bright yellow and sulphurous so who know what it does to your sperm. Lol

Recommended foods are cinnamon, cardamom (good if you like curry 😉 ) peppermint and lemon.

Why not experiment at home and let me know your findings, I’m sure it would make for interesting reading.

And whey you have perfected the taste why not try incorporating it in one of the delicious recipes in this cook book I just found.

Just one thing, don’t tell your mum what went in to the carrot cake. Lol

Prettier, Sexier, Sluttier

White UndiesI fervently believe that schools ought to teach underwear as a subject. To both boys and girls.

Why? Well consider these facts.

Boys don’t get near any girl’s underwear until long after they have developed an interest in it and its occupant. They therefore have some very peculiar misconceptions about what constitutes pretty, alluring, sexy and slutty. All of these things have their place in a relationship, but getting them confused is not desirable.

For many guys the following equivalences apply for women’s underwear.

Pretty = Something pink with flowers on
Alluring = Nekkid
Sexy = Something black, preferably with stockings
Slutty = Something black and crotchless

Alright that might be an exaggeration and wild generalisation, but you know what I mean.

As for men’s underwear, a word of advice. Posing pouches with elephant’s ears are funny to your partner, briefly, about 300 milliseconds to be exact. In no way are they sexy.

So what about girls. If you’re after adolescent boys, underwear is easy, they’re so busy trying to get it off they’ll not notice it. You could wear threadbare “Brigitte Jones” knickers and they wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

However when in a relationship you must teach them one thing; If they insist on buying you underwear for every birthday, Valentine’s and Christmas, MAKE SURE THEY KEEP THE RECEIPT.

For any guys out there here’s why. You will probably get the wrong size, it will probably be uncomfortable and it may restrict your lady’s blood circulation so much that they risk loosing a limb.

If your man’s trainable then great but if they can only remember one thing, get them to remember the receipt.

Anyway, that was supposed to be a quick introduction to the piece I was going to write which was …

Is it just me or is there nothing like the satisfaction you get from being able to deftly unhook a woman’s bra with one hand whilst your other hand is on her thigh and your tongue’s down her throat?

It’s the surprise she expresses if you do it skilfully I think. Very rewarding. Fumbling about with two hands is sweet when you’re a kid, but the feeling of a sudden loosening of the straps and a pair of breasts spilling forth, unleashed so to speak does take some beating.

Suck Her Clit

Glass crossed legsI was watching some porn – for a change – and I had a revelation.

The guy, no correction boy, going down on the busty porn chick was paying attention to her labia and clitoris. Great I thought, I hate it when all you see is cock sucking, followed by various position, anal, vaginal and then the cum shot you know where …

… but despite the lads best efforts he was a bit mechanical. He licked, but not very inventively, he rubbed her button but like he was trying to get a mark off a counter top. She sounded appreciative, but that’s her job.

I’m not having a go at the lads, he was at least making the effort to elevate the scene out of the production line crap that often gets dished up. If I had been on set I might have pushed him to one side and demonstrated, purely for technical reasons you understand.

I suppose if he stays in the industry he could get either lots of chance to practice if he gets the right director, or end up ignoring the needs of the ladies if he gets unimaginative ones.

One thing he didn’t do is suck on her clitoris. I love doing that it draws the blood to the already sensitive button. If you get it right you can suck, and lick at the same time if you get your lips against hers just right. Always appreciated I find.

Suze’s Fuck Me Skirt

Fuck Me SkirtWhen we first moved in together we began to experience each other “full-on” for the first time. We’d been an item for a while, but moving into our “You know we can only just afford this” first flat together was an intense experience.

First of all was the moving day. Although the flat was furnished, with some pretty seedy furniture, we had to move all our gear into it. It was at the top of a long flight of stairs that bridged a gully from the carpark to our flat. There was no other way in except for the fire escape, which was internal to the building and exited via the flat downstairs. So we couldn’t use that.

The upshot of all this was that we were well and truly tired out from tramping up and down stairs with bags and boxes, interspersed with trips to our former digs in Suzanne’s small, battered hatchback. In addition the flat was filthy, the previous tenant obviously ignorant to the dark arts of domestic duties and basic hygiene. So we had a lot of cleaning to do just to make the place liveable.

While I was eager to exploit our newly acquired privacy, and therefore bonking opportunities, I didn’t expect to see any action that night. We crawled into bed around eleven-ish I think. I fully expected a kiss, a grope and g’night.

I didn’t count on Suze. She felt my cock grow hard as she pressed against me and persuaded me, without much effort, into a goodnight shag. This set the tone for the whole of our 15 months in the flat.

That is not what I wanted to write about, this is …

A few weeks after arriving Suze started unpacking some old clothes, and so did I. There’s something about dressing up that does it for me. I love it when Suze gets made up and puts on something a little bit out of the ordinary. It doesn’t have to be glamorous, just different, or incongruous. Don’t ask me why, it just works.

I’ll save what I found in my bags and boxes for another time. For now, this is what Suze pulled out of the dressing up box J

She was rummaging about, deciding what to put in the limited drawer and wardrobe space and what should stay in bin liners to be consigned to a pile in the corner of our bedroom. You know how it is, weeks after you move you’re still unpacking and finding things that you thought were lost forever.

A bundle of green fabric fell onto the floor. “What’s that?” I asked.

“Just some old clothes”

“Let’s have a look then.” I have a thing about green, it’s my favourite colour. Expecially khaki-green.

Suze held up the green top with black polka dots and a khaki green skirt. A short skirt, a very short skirt. I grinned.

“Put them on.”

“I’m busy”

“Pleeeeaaassee” I begged, “I’ll make a cuppa while you get changed.”

Suze relented. When I returned she was dressed in the two items of clothing and some white panties. I knew about the panties as she gave me a twirl and the skirt rose up to reveal them, laid across her firm ass cheeks.

I was already a little hot under the collar from the anticipation of what she would look like in the outfit, but standing wearing only those three items of clothing in our new bedroom was more than enough for me to feel the familiar rush of rising desire.

The skirt, even at rest, was only an inch or so below minge-base. Very provocative.

Her nipples stood proud atop perfectly formed pert breasts, the light cotton fabric of the polka dot top allowing me to see every detail. I placed the cups on the floor next to the bed and took her in my arms.

“You like them then?” She asked. I held her tight, my imprisoned erection pressing into her through my trousers. “That’ll be yes then.” She smiled and ran her hand around from my back to caress and tease the bulge in its fabric shroud.

My hand slipped down her back and onto her ass. I leant forward and kissed her, both of us knowing this was a prelude to some extra laundry.

I reached under her skirt to stroke her full firm ass. I gathered her panties in my hand and pulled them up tight into the crack of her ass, forcing the fabric to make contact with her anus and stretch across her mons. “Oooh” She exclaimed approvingly.

One of her hands stroked my back, under my T-shirt, the other let its fingers play on my neck while we continued to kiss.

Suze broke away and unfastened my trousers. The belt buckle clanked as it hit the floor. I sprang to attention, having chosen to go commando as it was late spring, summer approaching fast. I was glistening with pre-cum, always too good to resist and Suze didn’t.

She spent a few moments licking the tip of my cock as I resisted the urge to push myself into her mouth. I pulled her to her feet and pushed her towards the bed. But not on it, with a gentle push I indicated that she should kneel next to it.

I pushed her forward, and shuffled forward myself, trousers still shackling my ankles. She was laid on the bed, head to one side, skirt up exposing her white underwear, a damp gusset inviting my attention.

I dropped to my knees then pulled the soaking panties to one side. I pushed the tip of my cock against her hot opening, sliding past her panties, enjoying the feeling of them restricting my entry, yet knowing that our mutual states of lubrication would prevent any nasty friction injuries.

We exchanged no words, just animal noises, moans and groans, oohs and aahs. Slowly at first, with no acrobatics, or huge feats of endurance, or astounding displays of sexual ingenuity I brought us both to orgasm. The sight of Suze beneath me, fully clothed in unusual garb, sweating slightly as we approached orgasm was such a turn on. She lay, a willing participant but almost subservient to me. Not raped but definitely eager to be ravished.

I was perspiring too, the heat, the exertion and the fact that I was clothed, save for my half discarded trousers caused beads of sweat on my back. My T-shirt began to stick to me. It felt elicit, naughty, very, very sexy to be clothed, in the middle of the afternoon, with the curtains open, screwing Suze over the bed.

Suze had abandoned herself to me. I later found she had dribbled on the quilt cover. She’d simply let herself go, allowed me to fuck her until she came. When she did come it was with a low moan, half muffled by the quilt. I had held back until than and let my orgasm burst forth.

Our fluids mixed, our bodies met again and again as my hips slapped against her ass time and again. My crotch was almost as wet as hers, the combined fluids of our love-making dribbling and splashing over us, the bed and our clothing.

Well worth a bit of extra washing I think you’ll agree. And all from playing in the dressing up box. So don’t ever grow up. Follow your inner child if you want some fun. I can highly recommend it.

Large Natural Boobs

Lucy PinderAs if you can’t tell, I’m a huge fan of the young lady over on the right.  If I had a choice of being able to pair up with any girl in the world she would be on my top 10, along with others including Nigella Lawson whom I would like to drizzle with chocolate and…

Got a bit carried away there.  Lol  Yes Lucy is a girl with looks and perfect assets.

Latex Pussy

Latex Painted PussyLater on in the month we will be reviewing liquid latex over at Sex Toys Buzz.  I can’t wait to get my brush out.

I even managed to find a design I like.  I’m fancying a bit of latex pussy, what do you think?

Fuck Me Boots And Kinky Wigs

Here’s a post that you probably never thought you’d read. LOL

I was recently lent a copy of an old Doctor Who adventure “Inferno”. It stars John Pertwee as the Doctor (Father of Sean) and is from a time before I watched Doctor Who on TV. I was therefore very interested to see the Doctor’s companion Liz. Sadly despite being a very nice lady Liz Shaw, played by Caroline John, is not an Uber-Babe. However she does have one very laudable and almost unique trait amongst the early Doctor Who companions – that of being able to do something other than scream. She is intelligent in her own right and is an accomplished scientist.

The thing about the “Inferno” serial is this. The Doctor travels to a parallel universe, stay with me on this the sex comes soon, where Liz isn’t a scientist but a leather booted severe military type who forms part of the parallel universe’s Fascist-styled armed forces. Even the Brigadier looks like he would be at home in General Franco’s Spain.

Here’s the kinky bit. I prefer the Liz in Kinky boots.

This may be for a number of reasons, she’s got black hair in the alternative kinkyverse, she’s got a shorter skirt and she has real authority. In the real universe she’s intelligent (always a plus for me) and her own woman, but she’s also subservient to men by dint of the time during which the story is set, i.e. 1970s.

I have no wish to be dominated, not my thing, but put Suze in Liz’s uniform and I’d have jumped on her like a shot.

I even get naughty thoughts thinking about Doctor Who … whatever next.