Monthly Archives: August 2010

Fucking The Call Boy

PhoneAlex and I retired to the bedroom around 7pm and watched some television trying to chill out from the day’s stresses and strains. We both just lay on the bed staring inanely through the television watching merely for the distraction. The past few days have been particularly tense, brought about by Alex’s boss.

Just as we were both feeling a little less tense the telephone rang. Alex went to answer it and came in to the bedroom moments later to tell me it was Sky.

To say I wasn’t very happy at the intrusion was an understatement. I made my way to the telephone.

The conversation went something like this.

“Good evening I’m calling from Sky television”

“Can you take me off your calls list please…
“…I don’t appreciate you disturbing me when I’m about to make love to my partner”

He mumbled and I’m sure became a little embarrassed which was obvious by his slow return of “OK, madam I will”.

I placed down the handset and wandered back in to the bedroom where upon Alex burst in to laughter.

If you are going to do a job…do it right. 😉

I’m sorry if you are reading this and it was you but really, calling at that time in the evening is so intrusive.

The Filth, The Feuds And The Fucking

ForeplayWe’ve been busy writing so I thought I’d cover a few of the things we’ve done recently.

First of all is a review of the new Foreplay Magazine. You can find it over here in the Erotic Buzz section of Sex Toys Buzz.

Suze also wrote this review of the Harmony Film “Aphrodziac”. It’s a very kinky movie indeed featuring some very naughty boys and girls.

Oh, before I forget we got an exclusive review with Wieland Hofmeister, one of the organisers of the new adult erotic event “eroFame” in Berlin this autumn. You can read it here.  It’s a B2B event so not open to the public but it’s already encouraged many of the exhibitors who formerly attended Venus to abandon that event and relocate to Potsdam this October. It’s going to change the shape of Venus, Europe’s largest erotic event, forever.

And if you want more to read there’s a review of “Ladies Who Lust” over on Himdulgence.

Enjoy and TTFN.

Flesh On Show

Gok Wan is a name that I didn’t think I’d be using on this blog. I’m not into fashion, boring as it might sound I prefer practical, always have. However he does make fashion fun and he’s got a surplus of charisma that tends to enthuse rather than repulse me as some over the top TV stars tend to.

I think the reason that I like Gok as a personality is that he is always positive and presents one of my favourite “chewing gum” programmes, “How To Look Good Naked”. I say chewing gum as it’s chewing gum for the mind in a way. I detest programmes like “The Swan”, or “Extreme Makeover” because the person getting “the treatment” is physically very different by the time the so called experts have finished with them. While there is undoubted merit in enhancing a person’s physical appearance to give them the confidence to change their lives I find it difficult to understand why anyone would want to turn out as a carbon copy of Tyra Banks.

So Gok’s softer approach, emphasising how to maximise what you’ve got is much more to my liking. It’s also much more practical for the majority of us mortals who don’t have a suitcase full of money as required by the cosmetic surgery biased formats.

I don’t like the idea of conformity as a comfort blanket and hate blind acceptance of widely held attitudes without something more than popular opinion to back them up.

Perverted Wanker

HmmSome things you read in the papers are too incredulous to believe and the story I just read fell in to that category because I couldn’t believe someone would do that.

So what am I referring to.  Michael Kevin Lallana, a 31 year old from Orange County, US is claimed to have laced a co workers bottle of water with semen.

What kind of twisted individual does that?  And he did repeated his callous act just 3 months later which was his downfall.  You can read the full story here, it completely grossed me out .

Fucking All The Girlfriends

Terence StampNow forgive me if I’m a little vague on the origins of this story, it may have been Michael Caine, may have been someone else who I heard telling it. Either way It’s one of those stories that true or not you just want to believe.

Anyway here goes:

During the 1960s Caine and Terence Stamp shared a flat in London. One day the guys, turned out in nice suits and just becoming well-to-do (Caine in particular after Alfie and The Ipcres file) start getting abuse from a group of six lads (out with their respective girlfriends) as they walk down the street. The general gist is that they are both too well turned out lads together and must be gay. Although rather pissed off by the whole affair they avoid a fight in which they would both come off worse and walk on by.

Considering that at the time saying someone was gay could still land them in prison, not a nice thing to do.

A day or so later Stamp disappears for a week or so. When he reappears Caine asks where he’s been and Stamp replies simply “You know those guys who called us gay? … I’ve slept with all their girlfriends.”

General Zod knows how to get revenge mwahahaha!

While not condoning casual sex that has to be one of the best stories ever. And like I said it doesn’t even have to be true to be amusing.

Getting Eaten Out

Nyotaimori I’m fully aware of the practice of eating sushi from the body of a naked female, known as but I haven’t heard of the male equivalent, known as Nantaimori which sounds very interesting a comes with a free sausage. Lol

The Japanese practice is recognised as an art form and forms a part of the Geisha culture which goes back hundreds of years. The concept behind Nyotaimori is to combine food and art making the two blur together to make a very sensual experience.

And now you don’t have to travel all the way to Japan to indulge in this visual culinary experience because you can now savour the delights at locations across London. Flash Sushi is holding a dinner per month at different locations until March. The Founder Nigel Carlos said “It’s nothing like a strip club – and it’s pure luxury”.

And at £250 per head it should be. Lol

In the meantime I think I will create my own Nyotaimori for Alex to savour the delights of being served from me and if he is good in me. 😉

If you are interested in visiting one of the venues you can check out their website here.

Big Boobalicious Portfolio

Kirstie AllsopI love property programs it doesn’t matter if they are based around renovation or the acquisition of a second home here or abroad.  The appeal for me is seeing potential in a rundown property which nobody else has the insight to want to purchase.

I’m also, like most women, fundamentally nosey and love to look around other peoples homes.  It’s a bit like window shopping, unless you browse you don’t know what is out there.  Or something like that.  Lol

It’s probably a subject close to home too.  Alex and I invested in this property as a do’er upper, it was dirty part modernised and we both saw the potential when others didn’t.  If they could only see her now in all her glory, after years of hard work renovating and fixing she is a diamond and I will never fall out of love with her.

But there may be another reason I watch which didn’t occur to me until I posed myself this question “which property babe is my favourite?”.  Then I saw the light, most of these shows are fronted by a rather delicious female host.

I’m now struggling with so many names…Sarah Beeny, Amanda Lamb and then there’s Jasmine Harman…

I now think I know why these programs are so popular.  😉

Sex In The Hair Salon

HairWhat do women talk about at the hairdresser’s?

I know that there’s a standard array of hair salon small talk about holidays, the weather, the pets, the kids, the job … but how intimate does it actually get?

Not spending a huge amount of time in a salon full of women I can’t comment myself. Of course if I was there I think I might prevent any sort of openly sexual conversation starting up.

If I were to be a fly on the wall though, in the right salon, at the right time with the right clientele … What would I hear?

With the right chemistry women can open up and divulge the most intimate details to their friends. Are they close enough to their hair technicians to spill the beans on love and relationships?

It would be free counselling.

OK everyone – does it ever get that steamy, and if so doesn’t make your hair go curly?

Sexy Ass Girls Winking At You

Winkers JeansI’m writing this up and I’m still not sure if it is a spoof or not. Any way here goes.

A guy named William A Jones from Everett, Washington had designed a new concept in jeans called “Winkers”. He claims to have come up with the concept whilst watching a woman as she walked past him.

He says that he was sure that the woman’s jean clad ass winked at him as she walked and the idea of jeans with eyes in the buttock-folds arose.

Following experimentation with his daughters jeans his idea came to fruition and you can now purchase jeans which appear to quack through to a clapper board which claps.

You can check out the site for yourself and see if you believe this to be bona fide.

I like the ducks best. 🙂

Hot Ballet Dancer

Hot Ballet DancerBallet never looked this hot before. If it had I might have been tempted to put on a pair of tights.

Next you’ll be telling me that they’re only using the dance studio as a set … LOL

Goth Girl Sexiness

Goth SwishDid you know that it’s possible to depict a goth girl without covering her in tattoos and piercings? And when you do so they look rather attractive 🙂

Who’d have thought. LOL

If you like goth girls with body art then that’s great but for me it’s about pale and interesting, not perforated and decorated. Each to their own.

More, More, More, Fisting!

Self FistingThis is a practice I haven’t willingly engaged in, purely because I usually find the girth of a cock satisfying.  Don’t get me wrong I like to feel Alex’s fingers waggling around inside my pussy too, he is excellent at targeting my g-spot and making me squirt.

I think my comfort range quiet literally stretches to 3 of his fingers inside me, so why would I want him to push his fist inside me.  On the other hand ( no pun intended  lol) if you have petite hands then you would most probably manage to get inside me up to your wrist.

Food for thought and maybe some covert observations may need to be made.  In the meantime you can study this image and wonder at her flexibility.  😉

Going Down ;)

Pussy FlashYou may have noticed that we have been encountering problems with the site loading today.

We are currently working on remedying the situation if you can bear with us.  Normal service should be resumed soon.

Sex Between Girl Friends

OrgasmPeer pressure is an incredibly powerful thing. Mix it with raging hormones and little social ineptitude and you have the perfect mix for some very peculiar behaviour. Which is why our school days are filled with exaggeration, embarrassment, but perhaps most importantly self-discovery.

I was reminded of my school days while watching an old episode of Doctor Who that one of my work colleagues has lent me on DVD. At school I watch it in a slightly different way than those around me. They were all awed by the monsters and the ray-guns, whereas I had just as much interest in the infinite possibilities that travel in time and space threw up. Oh and the cute assistants LOL.

I think everyone has something where they feel out of sync with their friends at school. And I think the most area in which we feel different from everyone else is our sexuality. The reason of course is that we are all different and have our own tastes and nuances that make us what we are. In your teenage years you don’t understand this and the rapid changes in your mind and body means that it’s awfully confusing.

I don’t know about girls but for boys it’s all about how big is your cock, when you first get pubic hair, have you kissed a girl, have you touched a girl’s breasts, or ass, or got inside her knickers. I suspect girls have it the same way.

This led to a lot of lies and bravado. It also meant a lot of my classmates fell into the trap of total conformity. The only acceptable sexuality was straight, girls were for a good time not people who you interacted and had relationships with too. If you hadn’t developed physically as fast as the most advanced boys in the year you were “a girl”. If you didn’t tow the line you were “gay”.

I suffered from this but less than some. I just fell inside the middle third. What’s that? Well the top third was the popular boys who had the confidence through their mutual massaging of each others egos and early physical development. The girls all lusted after them and everyone else wanted to be in their group. Well everyone apart from me because I always saw through the bluff and bluster to see that they were frightened schoolboys like everyone else.

The bottom third was the unfortunate bunch of lads who were picked on because they were either effeminate, late developers, or had family issues. It used to make my skin crawl to watch them being picked on.

I was (just) in the middle third. A bit geeky, and a late developer physically but just clever enough to keep my head down most of the time and able to slip under radar of the bullying taunting top third. Being second youngest in the school year I would have been open to abuse about my lack of pubic hair until most of the other guys had started to develop theirs. However I have always been rather well proportioned in the penis department so that kind of cancelled out any taunts about that.

Being in the middle third also meant that I was able to talk to girls as a friend without being seen as too much of a threat by the tops and not repulse the girls by being one of the perceived pond life at the bottom of the popularity league table.

Now I’ve got my self thinking about H. She was quite something and I’ll have to write about her one day.

Vegetable Sex

Rude CarrotHow do you sex a vegetable. Well normally not at all but with this carrot that I picked from the garden this afternoon I think it’s pretty obvious what I thought when I saw it.

If I get any more naughty vegetables from our garden I’ll post them up. LOL

Sexy French Girls, Sexy Spanish Girls …

Rubber KitchenI’m sure it isn’t just me that finds accents attractive and a big turn-on, if it’s the right accent of course.

Scottish, Irish, French, Spanish, well quite a few accents have an immediately engaging effect on me grabbing my attention and adding several points to the notional sexiness score that I’d apply to their owner.

It is of course the thrill of the exotic, the knowledge that the owner of the accent will be a little different, somehow, from you and those around you with accents similar to your own.

Added to this basic promise of something a little out of the ordinary is the knowledge that some culture have exciting elements that make anyone from another country immediately intriguing and the attraction of a potential partner with a foreign accent is pretty self-explanatory

I’m not the only one who likes to listen to a woman speak to me with an accent am I?