Monthly Archives: April 2011

Hard Nipple Weather

NipplesI’m stuck inside working but outside it’s rather cold so it ain’t so bad.

Imagine all those hard nipples though.

Cream On My Tits

The weather normally takes it out of my skin at this time of year. Cold winds and indoor central heating all conspire to try and turn me in to a prune. I’ve never been one to pamper myself and rarely use moisturiser, I think mainly because all I want to do when I step out of the shower is to towel dry and get dressed.

However, we did reviewed a wonderful fragranced gift set with edible lotions and potions … and one of my favourites from that set is the almond oil. You can rub it in and lick it straight off without fear of a tummy upset. And the perfume is to die for.

My love of almonds stems way back in to my childhood. On special occasions it used to be the fashion to have almond fruits on the dinner table. These were little oranges, lemons and various other fruits made of marzipan and painted with food colouring to make them look real.

I’m sure they must have been full of E numbers back then. No wonder I had so much energy as a child. Lol When I was old enough to shop by myself I would buy a block of marzipan and slice pieces off to eat. Then when I felt sick I would wrap it back up and place it in the fridge until the next time I fancied a piece.

So when we got the gift set to try it was only natural that my attentions should turn to the oil. When it heats the aroma infuses in the air and makes me feel aroused and vibrant, horny. 😉

I took a shower following work on Friday evening and asked Alex if he would rub some of the almond oil in to my back, it had been dry and itchy. Alex turned on the bedside lamp to provide a little ambient light and took the bottle of oil from his bedside drawer.

I took my hair back in to a ponytail and lay on my stomach. I heard the top being unscrewed and then I jumped as each cold drip made contact with my warm flesh. Alex can be such a tease, he would normally warm the oil between his hands. I yelped as each drop hit and promised to get my revenge later.

His hands started to glide all over my back and up to my shoulders kneading as they went. I could feel the tension being released from me as his hands went to work. The essence of the oil and my state of complete relaxation pushed me towards arousal. I could feel it enveloping me.

“Roll over Suze”, instructed Alex and I rolled on to my stomach. Alex gave me a wry smile as his gaze fixed upon my two fleshy mounds. My nipples were hard and erect and he gave each in turn a kiss and a quick bite. I giggled.

This time he poured the oil on to his palm and rubbed his hands together before placing them on to my breasts. My breasts were now glistening in the light from the lamp. He ran his hands up my sternum, out over my shoulders and then down on to my breasts. Alex started to roll them in the oil, massaging and kneading gently.

It felt so good as he tweaked my nipples making them stand proud and firm. He was now kneeling to the side of me in his boxer shorts and the lycra wasn’t hiding anything from me. He was hard inside there.

As he continued to massage my breasts I slipped his cock out of the top of his shorts. He was starting to dribble, a small bead of cum was collecting at the tip of his hardon. I scooped it up with my index finger and placed it in my mouth provocatively. “You are a dirty bitch”!, he exclaimed.

I know…

I slipped his boxers down his thighs and Alex sat on the bed as I eased them off and threw them on to the bedroom floor. He was rock hard and his cock was now bouncing around in front of me as he straddled my torso. He pushed my boobs together and began to run his cock up and down the valley between them. I knew what he wanted. 😉

I passed him some tissue to wipe his hands and took hold of my breasts, pushing them together to form a deep valley. Alex didn’t need an invitation he pushed his cock between my boobs and I closed the gap around them. Creating a cock sandwich.

Alex smiled at me and started to push his way through my fleshy mounds. As his head appeared his foreskin pulled back revealing his plump dark pink helmet. “I’m a bit dry”, he divulged. I spat on to the tip of his cock before he withdrew it back between my tits once more.

Now lubed he started to fuck my tits with slightly more vigour and I watched as he pumped into me. Don’t ask me why but I love to watch him wanking between my boobs. I was getting wet and excited so I crossed my legs and started to run my thighs together in rhythm with his thrusts.

He was really going for it and I almost lost my grip on the oil and had to retrieve my right breast before it escaped. 🙂 I had him firmly in my grasp again and Alex was getting close, his head was in it’s I’m about to come position and his eyes were closed. He was panting now, trying to hold himself back to build to a more powerful orgasm.

In and out, in and out then…it was like someone had just stabbed him in the back. He arched his back, threw back his head and little white gems propelled on to my chest. One even caught me squarely on the chin. Great shot! I scooped it up and put my finger to Alex’s lips. He sucked my finger clean as his last orgasmic thrust waned.

He fell back on to the bed as I admired his Pollock style creativity.

Fuck Me Harder, Make Me Cum

Alex and I kissed deeply, passionately as he pressed his chest down on to my soft mounds.  He started to run his thigh between my legs, teasing my clit.  I reciprocally ground my moist cunt in to his leg.  He knew I wanted him too.

It was a balmy night and we both lay on the bed naked and wanting, the afternoon sun having ignited our desire.  How good did it feel to retire to the bedroom on a sunny Sunday afternoon for a quick fumble and a fuck.  😉

His tongue was probing my mouth as his lips pushed against mine forming a hermetic seal of lust and desire.  My heart was racing and my blood coursing through my body making me tingle with excitement.

He coaxed me on to my side with his leg and whispered in my ear “I’m gonna fuck you bitch”.  I love it when he talks to me that way, surly, domineering and so sexy.  Complying I rolled on to my right hip as he knelt behind me.

I felt his hands on my buttocks, the warmth of his body conducted through his fingertips.  He briefly moulded and squeezed my ass for a moment and then gave me a spank on my right cheek before pushing his hard cock inside me.

Gasping I raised my hips to meet his first thrust.  He then started to run me through like an executioner’s sword, direct, purposefully unmerciful.  I moaned my appreciation of his forthright approach.  Wanting him to take me, break me, make me.

Rough is how I wanted to be taken.  No airs and graces just the carnal act and sating my lust.  He took hold of my hair in his hand and started to gently pull.  My head tilted backwards, he was riding me, controlling me, making me his and that’s what I wanted more than anything.

Dominate me, fuck me…

At that moment I felt a uncontrollable urge to reciprocate and take control of him.  I reached over my head to the bed post where we have suspended several whips and crops and retrieved the first which came to hand.

Momentarily I was distracted as I came, my pussy and thighs moist with my juices.  My senses regained I reached behind me in the general direction of Alex’s left buttock and flicked my wrist soliciting a light blow to his ass with my mini whip.

I heard him moan as he responded pushing deeper inside me.  Fuck I’m sure he hit my cervix!  That was trigger for me and my automatic response was to thrash him again, this time harder with the accompanying command to “fuck me”.

“Fuck me”…thrash…”fuck me”…”yes I’m coming again”…thrash…

“Aghhh…” Alex replied in a slightly pained but pleasured tone which saw him thrust one more time and then quiver as he delivered his payload of semen deep inside my pussy.

Feeling his imminent release I licked my middle finger and applied it to my primed clitoris.  With rapid sideway flicks I found myself coming again as Alex shot his load inside me.  He loosened his grip on me and collapsed behind me, spent, sated, tripping.

We are one…


Fucking Is Fun

Man & WomanD’ya know there are a huge number of egregiously mean spirited people on the net. Apparently motivated by a fundamentally negative state of mind they seem intent on producing the most pathetic and vacuous posts and comments possible.

It’s not limited to one particular form of online publishing.

I first became aware of this on YouTube. Just reading rant after rant against videos that were in themselves not deserving of such vitriol turned me off to reading comments on that site at all. It’s so easy to be offensive to people online, whether it’s by swearing at them or taking the line that you are intellectually superior to them and rubbing them up the wrong way. Why do it? You just make yourself look an idiot.

A colleague at work said exactly that to me a couple of weeks ago; Whenever he placed a request to help on a particular technical (IT) forum all he seemed to get in reply was “Oh, surely you know how to do that …” Yeah, very helpful, NOT!

For some people web 2.0 has become a place to express their own neuroses rather than contribute to group creativity.

It applies to blogs too, posts full of “why I hate this” really don’t do it for me. Yes, the occasional post about your dislikes is fine even if you can offer up no particular reason, we all have out own preferences and we shouldn’t always have to justify them logically. Often it’s difficult if not impossible to give a specific reason why we like or dislike a certain thing because our taste is based on a lifetime of experiences and an apparently irrational opinion can be rooted in events that cross decades.

A balanced argument is nice when possible, explaining your reasons for taking one view or the other. In writing it the author often learns as much about themselves as the reader does.

This is why I say fucking is fun. Occasionally I come across stuff on the web that spends so much time analysing the subject matter that you really have to ask … Why? There’s a point where analysis becomes pedantry and you wring the life, soul and fun out of a subject. When you do that to sex you miss the point of the whole act. Sex is about three things – procreation, bonding and fun.  If you over analyse sex it does beg the question … Why?

There’s that question again … Why?

Sex is fun and if you don’t get that you’ve missed the point. We love to read good advice about sex, be that in relation to contraception, safe sex, or just having a great time in bed; just don’t get so uptight about sex that you end up disappearing up you own arse analysing it all.


Summer Time Sexy

Sexy In SunglassesIt’s nice when the weathermen get it wrong. Today was supposed to be a bit crap but I’ve seen nothing but sun all day.

It’s like summer already, even bought some new shades.

However I don’t look as good as this (top left) in them. And I really don’t think I’d look good in a bikini. LOL


It was so hot on Friday and Saturday, but getting wet isgood too, right?.

Me And The Soapy Firemen


The sex shop was quiet, just us and a couple of assistants. Apparently the rush doesn’t start until around lunchtime on Saturdays. So if you are shy about visiting a store near you why not go early on Saturday morning. 😉

As usual we did the rounds spotting loads of toys we have reviewed over at Sex Toys Buzz. I couldn’t resist going over to the other end of the counter to check out if they have any new ranges. At that point an assistant started giving me the technical info … I humoured her, couldn’t quite bring myself to say “… actually I do this for a living …”

I wonder if she has guessed that we are a little more involved in the adult arena than most of her visitors. 🙂

We had a look at the DVDs but as is quite common these days we have the newest titles sent to us for review before the shops I have a couple to watch later.

On the way back we decided to take a different route and I spotted a charity car wash sign handwritten by the roadside. I looked around for the providers of the service, expecting them to be a bunch of boy scouts or girl guides raising funds.

But no. the boys who were doing the soapy rub downs were the local firemen. They were armed with buckets of water dressed in their fireman’s trousers and a black t-shirt. I suddenly felt the urge to have the car cleaned but Alex drove on by. 🙁

I wonder if they will be there tomorrow…

Man Your Pussy Is Tight!

Back SeatThe male genitalia are if you think about it the ultimate expression of the primitive male psyche. A rampant cock and the balls attached to it scream out the owner’s fertility and one of their primary functions as members of the species – to fertilise the female’s ovum and thus ensure the survival of the species.

It does explain a lot about even the modern man’s propensity to become a little cock fixated. From the moment we are born guys are conscious of their cocks. As they grow older the size of their penis and how often it gets used becomes part of our thought processes. Not all men think with their cocks all of their time but the penis and associated urges are in charge enough to make us easily manipulated at times and just plain dumb at other. It also means that we can be very single minded in pursuit of some things, usually sex of one sort or another.

I wonder how different it would have been if the woman had the penis and drew sperm out of a male vagina? An odd thought  I know. Odder still if you consider how it would have affected art, culture and society in general. And how would men have shown off? Would they have been proud of a tight “mangina” or an easily accessible capacious one?

Actually, should it be man-pussy as the word mangina has already been appropriated for other uses.

What do you mean you’ve never heard it … well if a guy tucks his cock and balls between his legs so they aren’t visible you have a mangina. Urban dictionary has more definitions but this is the one I’m familiar with.


I like a woman with a good voice, and this woman has a great one. Anastacia took some time out of music when a tumour was found in her breast in 2003. Thankfully she’s clear of cancer and has been making records again. Such is the fickle way of the music biz that despite the fact that she’s been back since 2004 her profile doesn’t seem to have reached the heights she did in the first part of the decade, which is a shame because she has strength and character in her voice which reflects that in her personality.

Oh, and the title? it was a comment on this video on YouTube. I couldn’t agree more.

I feel some downloads coming on for my MP3 player … off to Amazon …

XXX Pick, Spread Your Cunt

Pussy And StockingsSometimes I feel totally visceral.  I don’t want long lingering foreplay I just want to cut to the chase and my choice from Adult Blog Hub today comes to you with no airs and graces.

It’s a filthy picture from the blog “Cunt On Display” and it does what it says in this post as we get a voyeurs view of this naughty lady wearing stockings and kinky boots flashing the gash.

You just have to give it to her for being so, erm open.  😉


Cocks On Parade

Men's PantsWomen have always been pampered when it comes to underwear, styles may change but there has always been a variety of styles to choose from, be you Bridgette Jones or a femme fetale.  I used to spend a small fortune on underwear when I was younger, admittedly I did have more disposable income back then but I think I have tempered my spending as I got older.

I would think nothing of going out to a luxurious underwear boutique and purchasing the whole range in a particular style, not just the panties and bra but the suspender belt and the non wired and wired version of the bra.

As the years passed I became a little more frugal opting for the mainstream shops like Marks & Spencer, who I must say do still have a wonderful range of undies to select from.

But when it came to men’s underwear, what were the options…y fronts, boxers and for the more adventurous a thong.  It must have been a sight to beholden when a woman removes her garments layer by layer until she stands before you in her sensuous, seductive lingerie.

And what did we ladies get?  A hasty unzipping of the flies and both trousers and underwear kicked off in to a far distant corner of the room.  No slow reveal.  Well, lets be honest some of the underwear I’ve seen guys in is better removed at speed.  Lol

Now there is something new and exciting for we ladies to enjoy, just like the image above.  Men’s underwear has come on leaps and bounds and I for one am pleased to see the male underwear revolution if this is what we get to look at.

You can check out the full range of kinky wear here.

Sunday Morning, Is It Time For Sex?

Silk RobeWhat do you think of when you wake up? For most men, even I they aren’t consciously thinking about it their body’s natural state on waking is to be in possession of an erection. It’s therefore difficult to avoid thoughts of sex when that happens.

You don’t have to be having a naughty dream for it to happen so it must be the relaxed state you find yourself in on emerging from sleep.

So do all men immediately think about sex when they wake up or is it more the practical issue of how to safely make a cup of coffee with a big stiff cock waving in front of you?

Kinky Start And A Happy Finish

Hand Job“Do you masturbate?” She asked.

“What?” he exclaimed.

“Do you masturbate? Jerk –off, Wank?” She repeated.

“Well, er, yes I do, I mean did. Until we got together.”

“Don’t worry I don’t mind you doing it, so long as there’s plenty of fun left for me.” She assured him, laughing lightly.

“I’ve never been asked that before. Why do you ask?”

“Just interested.” She paused and looked at his bulge under the cotton sheet. “And I like to watch.” She waited for the words to sink in. They had been going out for four months, living together for nearly two and this was the first time she had let him into her little secret.


“Is that it? Oh.”

“It’s difficult to know what to say to something like that. Do you mean you want to watch now?”

“If you like.” She could feel her heart beating a little faster, breathing quickening. “Here, let me help.” She yanked back the sheet and tugged at his shorts until he lifted his ass from the mattress so she could pull them down his legs and throw them across the bedroom. She slid down the bed and turned to face him, kneeling in front of him expectantly.

“You were going to help?” he ventured.

“I just did, oh you mean …” She unbuttoned her nightshirt so her C cup boobs were half revealed, nipples peeking  out from behind the light cotton. He waited, expecting her to reach out and grab his stirring cock. “Oh no, you’re on your own now. I told you I like to watch.”

He shrugged and took his increasingly turgid member in his palm. She watched him work and he watched her avid anticipation while massaging his penis. They were good together in bed, sex was good, pretty adventurous but this was something new. He began to enjoy the act of masturbation for its own sake in front of her. She had given him hand jobs before, the most memorable in the beer garden of a pub not long after they met. Memorable because he was so excited he nearly came over her dress after a few strokes and because they almost got caught …

He noticed her right hand slipping between her thighs and begin to rub her pussy. So, she was enjoying it. He was dribbling now, a clear jewel of precum appearing at the tip of his penis and quickly becoming spread over his glans. He could smell her too, the aroma of her sex filling the room with its story of an excited pussy just out of his view.

“Cum on your tummy for me. I want to see it on your skin.” She told him.

Eager to oblige he increased the speed of his strokes. His balls were tight now drawn up to the base of his cock and tingling with anticipation of their imminent release. Her rubbing was becoming frantic, her enjoyment of the spectacle obvious and wanton.

“Ah, agh!”  was the utterance that accompanied his orgasm. Each stroke following the groan was accompanied by a stream of viscous white semen jetting from his cock and splashing on his belly. His back arched a little as he came and then slowly relaxed as the orgasm subsided and he settled back onto the bed.

She slipped off her nightshirt and laid herself on top of his prone body, trapping his cock between them both and squirming a little relishing the feeling of the sticky cum that now coated both their stomachs.


XXX Pick, Mental Masturbation

It’s great how sometimes a chat with a good friend or even a like minded individual can take you down paths you hadn’t trodden before.

I was reminded of this today when I read a post on Adult Blog Hub which reminded me I need to communicate with old friends more, work sometimes gets in the way and it shouldn’t.

The mind is a wonderful thing and has been said to be the largest sex organ in the body.  So true, well at least for women.  😉

How did I get here…oh yes, I was reading Mental Masturbation over on A Slut’s Memoir.  She writes some right filth which I’m sure you will enjoy.


Watching The Girls At Gym Again

Your opinions please. I caught the end of this video at gym today, not seen it before then … it seemed to have so much promise but apart from the very lovely girls it has so little substance. Musicaly or as a video.


Short Skirted Office Nypmphos

CunnilingusIs there a protocol for who you should and shouldn’t masturbate about? Masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo experience, for many couples, us included it’s done in company. So the person you’re thinking about when you do masturbate is the one with you, often the one with their hand around your cock.

When you’re not in a relationship of course things are different. The object of your desire may be a model in a glossy porn magazine or it may be a real person. Perhaps someone you’ve met, maybe even work with.

Should you be guilty about having sexual thoughts about them, particularly if you do not know if they are reciprocated?

So long as the whole thing doesn’t turn into an obsession, then fair enough. Solo masturbation is very different from expressing you sexual feeling for another while they’re in the same room. It’s purely one-sided and while not in itself a problem doesn’t give you a true perspective of your feelings towards another.

Although some people might be offended to learn that you’ve jacked off to lewd thoughts about them I would venture a fair proportion would be quite flattered. After all, don’t we all want to be wanted, platonically, amorously or sexually?

I wouldn’t suggest you go and confess all to your latest wank fantasy as a punch in the mouth often offends …

Get Your Cock In The Hole, Please!

Doggy Glory HoleI was thinking about my post about the “Velcro effect” which happens when Alex and my pubic re-growth start interlock during sex.  There are a few situations which can throw both of us off our paces.

I’ve mentioned before the “clit skid”, that’s when Alex misaligns himself with me and instead of entering me, his thrust skids up between my labia and over my labia which if dry can be just a tad sensitive. Eeekkk!

Well, there is a new one now.  The cheese wire.  It occurs after I have taken a shower and we get down to some naughty business.  At the point of entering me Alex detects an obstacle.  One of my long hairs stretched across my pussy which had obviously been deposited there when the water ran down my back.

He bounces off the hair and then feels around until he locates it, removing the offending hair and throwing it on to the bedroom floor.  I’m not sure what may happen if Alex ignored it and fucked me anyway, whether his cock would be sliced in two just like a cheese wire.  Hair is strong but I don’t think so, I just think it would be bloody uncomfortable.  Lol

Do you have anything to add to our list, any little issues which sometimes occur during sex?

Her First Anal

Anal SexAnal sex has become a staple of the heterosexual pornography we all consume, where once it was seen as a predominantly homosexual activity.

Like all porn, anal sex in porn is devoid of context. Even vaginal porn requires that performers clean-up, shave and lube-up to ensure that the camera gets a great shot and the viewer watches an apparently effortless transition from “Hi, I’m the pool cleaner” to “Oh yes, fuck me with that big cock …”.

Porn seems to be much easier to believe that other types of televisual entertainment. I think this because when you watch porn your intellectual processes are just ticking over (for the most part) and your instincts are running the show. If a drama were to take such liberties with the truth and basic practicalities you’d be shouting at the screen and demanding to know why the producers of the programme thought any one would believe it.

This is in part why porn has lead to a drastic and in some cases unwelcome shift in the way that people, mainly men, view sex and sexual acts. Women find more and more demanded of them and men seem to think it’s OK to demand some things of women that previously would have required a long and understanding relationship where mutual sexuality was explored over time.

The most potentially hazardous effect of this is porn’s depiction of anal sex.

There are a number of biological facts that mean anal sex requires relaxation, understanding and lots of lube. Porn shows anal sex as a regular and spontaneous part of sexual congress. However, even amongst couples who enjoy anal sex it is often not the staple of their sexual menu and requires planning beforehand.

Do’s for anal sex include douching, lubrication and care. Don’ts include switching between anus and vagina during sex, switching partners and vigorous arse fucking.

The anus doesn’t open wide and immediately allow a cock inside unless a relaxing agent has been used, or your sphincters are physically damaged. Being fucked hard up the ass is something that only a minority of people actually enjoy and can cause medical complications that can range from haemorrhoids to prolapsed colons and worse.

Anal sex can be enjoyed but it takes more than a Pepperoni With Cheese and a clichéd pickup line to do so.