Monthly Archives: June 2013

White Panty Camel Toe Fetish

Anna KournikovaAt one time the search term “Anna Kournikova” was the most searched term on Google. Not so any more but most people know who she is. If you search for her now you can find hundreds of images of her and couple of camel toe shots taken during tournaments and via long-lenses away from the court.

Each to their own I suppose, I never did get the camel toe fetish thing.

Kournikova did make tennis sexy in a way that no other player had done before. I remember my father having a thing about Chris Evert when she played at Wimbeldon, but that was far less overt. The blonde Russian’s debut on the world stage of tennis was where tennis players became sex symbols.

Now of course, with the undoubtedly lovely Anan Kournikova no longer in the ascendancy everyone’s looking for new Court Cuties – hey I just made up a new buzz phrase 😛

The latest seems to be Gisela Dulko. If you haven’t seen her before there’s a picture inset.

Very nice, she can come any play with my balls any time.

Zoo Keeper Day Part Trois

Three ChimpsI was taken to the primate kitchen for my next part of my keeper day.  This was a small room to the side of the main primate enclosure.

My task here was to stuff hard plastic boys with an array of vegetables including broccoli and carrots to provide the foraging primates with an alternative food experience.  And for the more experienced I also filled 20+ screw top jars for them to open.

At the time I was so consumed with my task that I didn’t notice that the food preparation area had a gate to one side where we could see the primates enclosed.

As I was busy preparing their lunch I was totally unaware that the primates were watching my every move through the iron gate between us and their enclosure.

When I realised that “I” was being watched instead of them it made me smile.  I was now having my every move monitored by 3+ primates.

I continued to stuff jars and buoys with vegetables as there were so many to prepare for their late feed.  One which unfortunately I wouldn’t be present for.

As I stuffed one of the jars with fresh veg I heard a strange sound from the right.  As I turned to discover the origin of the sound I found a chimp with curled lip bowing raspberries at me.  Apparently it’s his signature behaviour for attention.

It was funny and I believe he knew it.  Lol

Next came lunch with a senior member of the animal team which not only gave me the opportunity to refuel and ask some poignant questions of a senior member of the team, one of the two head keepers which was interesting.

Taking Dirty Like A Porn Star

Sam BentleyThere’s a line that you cross at some point in a relationship which marks the start of the dirty talk. It might be before you have uttered a word to each other or it may never happen if you as a couple aren’t into explicit talk and expletives – it just depends how filthy you both are when it comes to sex.

It’s rare of course to approach a partner with a chat-up line that involves an explicit and possibly foul-mouthed string of syllables, innuendo is more likely. Even more likely is that your opening gambit would be to try and make a prospective partner laugh. Once you get into each other’s pants things start to change because as the instinct takes over and lust numbs the intellectual part of your brain a deeper primal instinct gets hold of you and you start to talk dirty to each other.

How dirty you talk to each other is again a very personal thing that is unique to the relationship you are in. It may simply be expressing your lustful desires in a way that you would never dream of doing unless you were in the act of foreplay or sex itself but it’s not uncommon for the verbal interplay between partners at these times to be shockingly graphic. You might describe how you feel emotionally and physically while having sex or tell your partner what you are about to do to them. Many couples find it arousing to make one or other partner beg for their partner to do something to them or even plead that they don’t do something else. Of course when you reach that stage you’re in BDSM territory so make sure you have a safe word if your scenes involve acts which might later be seen as non-consenting.

The spectrum of dirty talk covers playful flirting to expressing your dirtiest desires and from what would be seen as pretty conventional sex to the kinkiest of pleasures. In talking dirty to each other both of you can find their levels of arousal increasing and this is the main reason to talk dirty to your partner.

It is not however the only reason. Sometimes when you are talking dirty to one another you can inadvertently, though sometimes deliberately express desires to act in ways and experience new pleasures that you would not otherwise feel at ease to discuss. So long as your partner is receptive and sees it as part of your dirty talk they will regard it as you simply letting your imagination run wild and maybe, if they are receptive they may even suggest you try it for real. However be careful because just like shouting out an ex-partner’s name as you climax trying to suggest a new kink to your partner at the wrong time in your dirty talk may be a disaster. Though, if that’s the case then you should know that already and either content yourself with not experiencing something say anal sex with them or find a new partner.

As with all aspects of your sex life together enjoy and complement each other, adapt to each other’s needs and sometimes do things because you know it gives your partner pleasure but feel you need to change just to please them as you’ll end up resenting it.

The influence of pornography in dirty talk is undeniable and in some ways unfortunate. Watching porn can be part of a healthy sexual relationship and that in itself is a subject that would require many posts to cover how couples can enjoy porn together. Porn has its own vernacular and vocabulary that can be fun to watch and sometimes fun to use in the bedroom. But porn is a theatrical performance and although to a certain extent sex with your partner can contain make-believe and role play acting like porn stars all the time should not form the basis of a sexual relationship.

A less serious effect of watching a lot of porn is slipping in a porn phrase then immediately regretting it as it kills the moment. Phrases like “yeah fuck me hard” and “Your pussy is so tight” can be use occasionally but at the other end of the scale porn stars really do talk crap at times when performing for the camera. The worst example I’ve heard was “Yeah honey, fuck me so I walk funny.”

Hmm, romance isn’t dead, LOL.

Zoo Keeper Day Part Deux

Twycross ElephantsThis is the second instalment of what I got up to on my zoo keeper day at Twycross Zoo recently.  A very thoughtful Birthday present which I thoroughly enjoyed and will remember for the rest of my life.  Experiences for me give a lifetime of memories rather than something glittery which will sit on your dressing table for most of the time.

They remain forever in your head.  Seriously, if you want to give something to a loved one then an experience is one to be treasured.

Right, enough with the infomercial.  Lol

After taking a break with the keepers in their Portacabin and enjoying a nice cuppa and a couple of slices of toast I was back to work.

I was lead to the elephant house doors and drew in a  quick intake of breath at the thought of wielding a shovel and pushing a barrow, picking up gigantic animal poo.

To my delight I was greeted by a wet and freshly hosed down enclosure surrounded by strong steel fencing which would hold back an…  You get the picture.  🙂  An interesting feature of the fencing was the inbuilt inspection area where the keepers can get up close and examine feet and ears through apertures in the fencing.

They make a habit of getting the animals to present body parts to them so should they develop an illness it can be more easily examined, treated and managed.

Animal management and husbandry has come on so much since zoos first appeared as simply a menagerie to display specimens.

Once I had checked out the elephant enclosure it was time to assemble in the kitchen and grab buckets of food for the eagerly waiting pachyderms in the outside enclosure.

I learned that all the elephants were female as bull elephants couldn’t be kept together as they tend to attack each other.  The ones in the enclosure were ex-logging elephants from places like Indonesia and have tattoos which indicate their company affiliation on their flanks.

How I delighted in throwing food to these lovely animals as they pushed their trunks through the bars and cables to reach it.  I threw cabbage, carrots and turnips at them and they hoovered it up with the end of their trunks.

I was making a conscious decision to ensure that all of them got the same amount of food but when so many trunks are coming at you at one time you can never be sure.  Lol

There’s much more to come so stay tuned it really was an animal packed day.  🙂


Sex toys; the past, the present and the future as we see it

A brief history of sex toysA brief history of sex toys

The use of sex toys is thought to date back tens of thousands of years, with phallic-shaped stone artefacts being found in ancient caves, and traces of sex toys and pornography scattered throughout our history.

For instance, in ancient Greece, 500 years B.C., women were said to have given “olisboses” to other women whose husbands had gone to war or died. These gifts were wooden dildos and olive oil was used as lubricant.

Vibrators made their mark in the history books in 1734 when the “Tremoussoir” was invented in France. However, some prefer to attribute the invention to Cleopatra, who was said to have been innovative with her use of bees to make a ‘hollowed out gourde’ vibrate.

In the nineteenth century the demand for vibrators rocketed as pelvic massages to treat “female hysteria” became highly popular. So much so that in 1869 Dr George Taylor felt compelled to invent a steam powered vibrator to satisfy the needs of his patients.

Even butt plugs have a pretty well established history, with thousands being sold across the United States from 1892, and then the 1900s saw the invention of blow-up dolls.

Sex toys gradually made their way from secret shops to high street stores, and it was in 1998 that vibrators were put in the spotlight on HBO’s Sex and the City when an episode showcased the rabbit vibrator – a toy which has been wildly popular ever since.

Sex toys now

The current market of sex toys as we see it is pretty fantastic. There are new toys being developed all the time by visionaries whom all have a different way of working with your body and hitting the right spots; G-spot, P-spot, clitoris…

Sex toys are becoming more skin safe and eco friendly, and ever embracing new technology, such as smart phones and the internet. This year Durex launched ‘funderwear’ which allows you to stimulate your long-distance lover using your smart phone and direct exactly where the stimulation is going.

There now also exists a male masturbator which is synced with a ‘joy stick’ through the internet, so whatever she does to the stick, he feels in the masturbator. It seems sex toy developers are continually looking for ways to connect people who physically can’t be together – and the internet is what’s made this possible.

The Jimmy Jane Hello Touch is another new and revolutionary sex toy which is designed to turn you or your partner into a human vibrator. This device puts powerful vibrations at your fingertips – literally – and is another great example of sex toy developers thinking outside the box.

The future of sex toys

3D printing has been described as the second industrial revolution as is set to change manufacturing as we know it. Like with anything new and innovative, it doesn’t take long for the sex industry to utilise the new technological advancements.

3D printing may still be in its infancy, but we the ever-kinky public are still keen to have dildos and sex toys printed using this revolutionary technique. In the not too distant future it should even be possible to design your own sex toys and make alterations to existing designs in order to create your perfect sex toy.

Some industry professionals even predict that in the future we’ll all have 3D printers in our homes, so then rather than buying sex toys online and having them delivered, you’ll be able to buy a design online and print it in your own home – what could be more discreet than that?

The future of sex toys is also set to see huge technological advancements in sex dolls and ‘sex robots’. In 2010 Roxxxy was showcased at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, a sex robot with basic artificial intelligence, capable of learning the owner’s likes and dislikes. The doll also responds to touch on various parts of its body and makes sounds accordingly. This kind of technology will only improve with time and we’re sure to see sex robots and androids becoming more and more human.

Vibrators and sex toys of the future are also predicted to read your body’s mood, heart rate, temperature and even brainwaves to pleasure you accordingly without you having to reach for the dial! So there you have it, the future’s bright – the future’s orgasmic in fact.