Monthly Archives: January 2015

Teeth on My Cock

Hannah Shaw Giving HeadWho doesn’t like a good blow job? Well some women for a start but that doesn’t seem to bother some men. For some, probably because of porn and some men’s inability to think outside of their groin area a blow job seems to be one of their sexual goals, often even more so than penetrative sex.

Honestly I think this is an utter shame because there’s a lot more to sex than feeling that you’ve only had a good evening if your partner has gagged on your cock and choked on your gushing semen. Yes, there you see it again pornography taking over even the vernacular I’m employing to write this piece. But that was of course deliberate. Having watched a huge amount of porn both on DVD and seeing it being made I have to say that while it’s great for titillation pornography is as distant from real sex as it’s possible to be for many people most of the time.

That doesn’t mean to say that some people don’t enjoy porno-style sex some of the time especially when it comes to role play and games. Being someone else and seeing your partner act out in a similar fashion is fantastic to keep sex joyful and exciting. Yet I find myself feeling more and more that because porn is now available to young adults in a volume and variety far in excess of that which I was exposed to as a young man we are seriously at risk of destroying the sensuousness of many sexual acts including blowjobs.

You see a blowjob doesn’t have to result in orgasm for the guy, no really. Just getting your rocks off is not the ultimate aim of all sexual acts. Blowjobs can be sensuous, teasing and loving as well as theatrical, depraved, gurgling masses of saliva, semen and tears – though if you both enjoy that sort of thing then don’t let me stop you.

A dry hump, a sensually placed hand or a skilled mouth are all ways of coaxing a cock into life, especially if you’re tired, drunk a little too much or recovering from your last orgasm. Just expecting your girl to clamp her face around your cock is both presumptuous and shows a distinct lack of imagination. If your partner wants you to cum in their mouth then great but should they treat your penis to some oral delights remember they might perhaps be entitled to something in return, and no that doesn’t necessarily have to be cunnilingus.

A skilled blowjob employs the whole mouth, lips, tongue, teeth and yes if you must the throat but hammering your erect member into your partner’s face like you’re installing a new fence post is only hot and sexy if you are both in the mood for that kind of thing.

Thoughts anyone?

Out For a Good Time

suze without a braI was asked a few days ago a pretty obvious question, “Are men who visit escorts cheaters?” My first reaction is to pose two questions in response:

  1. Are those men in a relationship?
  2. What do people use escorts for?

You can only cheat on someone if you are in a relationship with someone else and that is pretty key in the first instance. You would think for many men who choose to hire an escort for companionship that would effectively negate the question posed about being “cheaters”. However there are another group of men, those in relationship for whom going out with other women is actually part of the dynamic of the relationship with their partner. That’s a line that has to be drawn by the partners in a relationship; It is both personal to that relationship and something that typically evolves over time.

Whether it’s flirting with a stranger then going home to tell your partner about it that turns you both on or going to a swinging club with the couple who run the local post office there is far more variety and excitement in British sexuality than many people believe or care to admit. You can disregard the sensationalist and largely constructed, or at least heavily edited shockumentaries on Channel 5 & Channel 4 because while based on things that actually do go on most people don’t want to be on TV to talk about it, even if they are wearing a ridiculously theatrical mask to preserve their anonymity.

In some places around the world like Australia you can hire an escort for sex, but paying for sex in this country is illegal and asking for sexual services when booking an escort will result in you being politely but firmly refused. So only ring up Babes of London for example for a companion, a dinner date or someone to share a drink with if you’re looking for a girl to relax with.

Frankly I think the question is mute because most acts of infidelity occur with people known by the “cheater”, often known by him and his partner. It could be a workmate, old friend or just someone they pick up in a bar on a drunken night out. Throwing in the word “escort” is just a way of misrepresenting what escort services in the UK offer.

It’s like taking your family saloon in for a regular service and expecting it to emerge a sports car. That’s not what is being advertised so as intelligent adults we should all be able to see that.

Across the country consenting adults are enjoying themselves sexually, in private, as is their right. That could be seen as cheating but again, that depends on the parameters of your relationship. A crafty grope in the stationery cupboard at the office party is seen by some as reason enough for a relationship to split whereas I’ve mentioned above some relationships actively seek a cuckold.

The question asked was of course about a guy hiring a female escort. Perhaps a more interesting thing to think about would be if that person had asked about a woman hiring a male escort. Hmmm?

When Your New Girlfriend Tells You She’s Bisexual

Girl-on-Girl crop and pussyMoving in with your girlfriend is a big step. It’s a point in your life and your relationship where you find out about yourself, about her and about your relationship. It can really put you to the test in terms of both your honesty with yourself and your ability to accept aspects of your partner’s personality that don’t emerge during the dating process. Often these little revelations are amusing, always enlightening but usually accepted as part of the “normal” process of building your relationship. As you can imagine for a couple who write sex toy reviews there are quite a few aspects to our respective personalities to discover!

The mundane nature of this process was rather spiced up by what happened when Suze and I moved into our first flat. While we were moving in and unpacking late into the night I noticed Suze throwing things into a black bin liner rather furtively. When I asked what she was doing she said “Oh, just some old stuff I don’t need any more. I thought I’d thrown it away already.” That seemed pretty reasonable and I thought no more of it until a few months later.

Suze and I had been dating for a while before we moved in together and had a very honest and very sexual relationship. So one night when we were lying in bed what she revealed to me was very unexpected.

Post coitus we were snuggling when Suze decided to tell me what she had slipped into the bin liner. In short they were pictures of Suze and her last girlfriend in sexy underwear. I’ll just analyse that last sentence for you.

“You had a girlfriend?” Was my first question obviously. Suze was petrified that I might suddenly walk out, scream, shout, feel hurt, betrayed … but that isn’t me. I already knew how much I was in love with Suze and this wasn’t going to make a difference. In fact to be honest I was excited that there was another aspect to her sexuality that I had already found to be inventive and exhilarating. She explained that while she had had flirtations in the past and had known for years that she was attracted to men and women the pictures had been of a girl she had a serious sexual relationship with.

The girl was straight, or hadn’t acknowledged her feelings for women so their first time together had evolved from Suze and her friend getting drunk together, discussing Suze buying some new underwear. This had led to Suze modelling the underwear for her friend, the friend checking out her underwear drawer and them both trying on some of Suze’s extensive collection. I suppose it was a kind of soft introduction to a sexual relationship for the girl and because they were the same age, a little drunk and had been friends for a while everything just clicked. They made love several times and at one point in the relationship took the photos of each other and of the both of them together.

“How many girlfriends have you had?” I asked, intrigued and a little excited if I’m perfectly honest. “Not as many as I’d have liked.” Was the reply. Suze has a strong personality but she would not want to spoil a relationship with a friend or potential friend on the off-chance of a sexual relationship. After all if you don’t read the signals correctly and make a sexual advance your friend might never speak to you again.

“So who took the photos? How did you get them developed?” I asked, after all this was before digital cameras were widely available at a reasonable price. “Polaroids. I had a camera and they were a bit crap but they were nice to look at occasionally. And don’t worry I cut them up in the kitchen when I took the bag out to the bin.” Those are photos I wish I’d seen.

When Suze realised my reaction was more “Wow!” than “WTF!” things became more relaxed and since then we have not looked back. Suze’s bisexuality sits well with me and I can’t imagine her being straight.

Talking Dirty With Hot Girls

Christina KrystalisI’ve done a lot of things since I’ve been involved in the adult industry and not all of them are public knowledge. That’s not because I’ve done anything I’m not proud of but because of the fact that I’m proud of having discretion when it comes to both my life and personal life. I’m the keeper of secrets about some of the most famous names in the industry and that’s the way it has to be because otherwise as a journalist nobody will speak to you on a sensible level unless you know how to keep your mouth shut.

That said I was musing tonight about what to write and realised I’d never blogged about the one time I used a chat line. Yes, a married guy using a chat line, who’d have thought it! OK so the circumstances were a bit different than normal but it was still a chat line so I’ll tell you all about it. Well, not quite everything because the girl involved was an aspiring porn star and chatline worker who decided about a year after this happened that the industry was not for her. I’m not telling you her name, her real or professional name because that’s both unnecessary and unethical not to mention irrelevant when it comes to explaining what happened.

Soooo, Suze and I were on a porn shoot a few years ago. We attended several in various different roles (no not performing!) so telling you we were on a shoot doesn’t narrow down which girl was involved. It was around eleven in the evening and while the last scene was wrapping up in the room next door the performers, Suze and me were drinking too much wine and chilling on the sofas in the huge drawing room of a country house somewhere in the UK. The girl, let’s call her Amy mentioned that she wanted to know if her sexy chat for her chatline was up to par.

Quite honestly I looked at Suze and expected to see her “Oh no you don’t!” but perhaps because of the atmosphere in the room, the sounds from next door and a day spent watching live sex being filmed she said “Alex is a very harsh critic, you’ll get some good tips from him.” And with a mischievous grin from her we were ready to go.

We retired to our room with Amy’s number and she to hers. I waited about five minutes to ring her mobile number direct and began chatting. I had no internet connection and therefore no web connection so unlike visiting a live webcam sites like she was working purely on the phone, luckily I’d seen her performing earlier so I had all the visuals of her excellent technique stored away in my head.

Laying on the bed next to Suze I began speaking to Amy who was to be honest quite nervous. She had been working chatlines for a while so I was surprised at this but when I halted the chat she explained that she wasn’t used to actually knowing the clients. So having spent the last two days with me and my partner it was a bit freaky for her. I told her not to be so silly and cracked a joke about embarrassing a porn star before she carried on and settled in to telling me about what she was wearing and where she was touching herself, etc, etc.

Suze noticed I was getting a bit uncomfortable and helpfully unzipped my jeans, pulled then down to my knees then pulled the waistband of my underwear under my balls so my almost fully hard cock laid across my stomach over my T shirt. I wasn’t planning on masturbating to Amy’s chat because I took the job of critiquing her rather seriously. The way I looked at it she had asked me as a friend and colleague to help her deliver a better service and this wasn’t an excuse for me to get a cheap thrill.

My ever randy partner had other ideas of course. She held back until a drop of precum stared to form at the tip of my now hard prick before wiping it off with her finger and licking it from her fingertip. My cock quivered at the sensation and my tremulous voice as I chatted to Amy obviously helped her confidence because her chat got more languid, lascivious and just plain filthy. The precum was flowing freely now making my cock irresistible to Suze who lowered herself onto it so her ear rested onto my belly while she gently suckled my oozing member.

I managed a little coaching, suggesting different phrases and tones of voice to Amy as the blowjob progressed, basically all the things that turned me on and all the little nuances that I felt men would enjoy. She listened and kept coming up with new teases and descriptions of how excited she was getting all alone in her room. Suze picked up on this and began to wank me with her hand while sucking me hard.

About a minute later I came with a huge groan that Amy took as a job well done. Suze gulped the spurts of cum as fast as she could so that when Amy said thank you and good night to me Suze was able to grab the phone and say good night to Amy too, looking me in the eye with a devilish grin, her lips still coated in my juices.

The next morning was interesting. We decided not to tell Amy about Suze’s help with my climax because we thought it might dent her confidence – which would have been terrible because she was very good. Amy wasn’t very talkative over the breakfast table until she explained why – she had of course never met any of her “clients” before and just as the night before she felt awkward “You are my first.”, she said to me. Not something you hear from an experienced woman like Amy every day now is it.

Hairless Pussies

Sex Toys For Your Valentine

There’s a scene in the Sopranos where one of the characters is released from prison after a long stretch and remarks how different things are since he went inside. One of the changes is in terms of pubic hair on women. Or more specifically the lack of pubic hair on womens’ intimate areas.

It’s true, it would come as a shock after 20 years or so to have your first sexual encounter and find out your partner’s pudenda is smooth and hairless. For the rest of us the plucking, waxing and shaving has happened gradually, invading first porn stars and celebrities before “The Brazilian” and “The Hollywood” were taken up by the rest of us mere mortals.

Looking back it’s interesting to remember how things were and what delights a hairy pubic area held. I am now shaved, my cock and balls hairless, naked and free from the mop of curly brown hairs that used to surround then. Suze is closely clipped because shaving irritates her skin but now enjoys the lack of fuzziness between her legs as I do. There are practical reasons and sensual reason for a hairless pubic reason. Personally I much prefer sliding my tongue over hairless/nicely trimmed skin than through a hairy bush but not everyone feels like that. I’ve heard it said that because of the way in which hair retains scent some people prefer the naturalness of pubic hair.

There’s also the tactile differences and I’d be lying if I said that I prefer a hairless pussy when it comes to slipping my hand inside a pair of panties for a crafty grope. Both natural and hairless have their own special feel, natural being the one that looked forward to growing up, when all pussies were hairy. The line between soft smooth belly skin and the first wisps of pubic hair marking another conquest milestone in any courtship I had.

Anyway, that’s just me. A little though for the day and something for you to chew over in your lunch hour 🙂

Moving With Sex Toys

Stronic Zwei VibratorOne of the logistical problems of being in the sex toy reviewing business is that whenever anyone comes round you have to make sure the house is clear of adult objects. We’ve mentioned this before on more than one occasion when friends or family have knocked on the door unannounced and caused us to scrabble frantically around the place to “sanitise” our home for the majority of people who do not know what we do.

Moving house only made this worse. Despite paying for the removal company to pack all our stuff for us we had to find and pack all the adult stuff first. That isn’t just the sex toys and the lubricant it’s also the R18 DVDs and erotic literature too. This stuff was moved by me rather than the removal guys, just in case they dropped a box and had a “spillage”.

All that was fine but despite having heavily edited the stuff in our house we still have a lot of possessions. So now, several weeks after the move we still have possessions we can’t find, ranging from dusters to dildos, pepper pots to hard code porn. This is even after I thought I had chosen a suitably discrete euphemism for the toys “Suze’s hardware” and “Alex’s hardware”. Still can’t find half of the boxes stuffed full of sex toys.

So be warned, when you move take care with your clit vibes and look after your lube, or you may never see it again.

The Smell of Leather

Sam BentleyOne of the sensory pleasures that Suze and I both enjoy is that of fresh leather. It’s a pretty natural smell (OK so I suspect that while the chemical process used to tan leather is less based on urine than it was chemical, it’s still the same process) and one that elicits an instantaneous, visceral and involuntary response. It’s pleasurable and while maybe not directly sexual in the way that would characterise an actually paraphilia its associations with sex and sexuality are ingrained in us both.

So, imagine our pleasure after a wait of around two months the new sofa was delivered to the new house. Acres of leather, new, pristine, virginal even. Every pore of the skin from those unfortunate bovines who gave their life to cover it exuding one of our favourite smells.

Sitting on it is like being immersed in a gorgeous multi-sensory hug. Comfortable, comforting with its new cushions and springing but also tantalisingly erotic from the scents it emits. Scents amplified as the body heat imparted by just sitting on it releases the aromatic chemicals within.

They don’t tell you that in the sofa commercials!

Sex With No Squeaks

suze in white bra

It’s very easy to become accustomed to something that is glaringly obvious to others and to a certain degree that’s exactly what happened with us and our bed. We had it for years, a pine bed frame that we had made when we moved into our last house. It had seen three mattresses come and go, required a number of repairs when it had started to show its age and was well overdue for retirement.

So when we moved into the new place we got a new bedframe. Solid oak, well built and very, very quiet.

While we were aware that the old faithful pine bed was noisy and that during our more passionate moments we would have to grab hold of parts of it to keep the noise down and stop it becoming too intrusive we had got used to it. As you do, like that paint chip on the skirting board that you never get round to touching in or the squeaky hinge you keep meaning to oil.

Moving to a detached house and making love for the first time in a new, silent bed was a revelation. No distractions, no “Ooh the neighbours will know what we are up to”, just unfettered, un-self-conscious sex.

It’s difficult to explain how good it felt. Not that sex on a squeaky bed wasn’t good. In fact it added to the fun and was often the cause of giggles when things got very loud, this new sublime shagging is great and I for one will not be sorry to see the old bedframe go.