Monthly Archives: February 2015

Masturbate And Get To Know Your Body

Young Harlot Over ChairHow are you going to know what to do in bed with your lover if you don’t know how to pleasure yourself. To me it’s obvious but the only alternative to exploring your own body’s pleasure responses is to hope that your partner is very in tune with you and willing to take the time to explore with you. Especially early in a relationship you may both have the enthusiasm but not necessarily the patience to fully investigate what makes each other tick so that could lead to disappointment for you both.

If you have however experimented with pleasuring yourself both indirectly through sensual touching and directly with genital masturbation life becomes much easier when you are with a partner. If they are rubbing you in the wrong way, not picking up on your lack of response our touching you in slightly the wrong place you can guide them easily if you know your own sexual responses. I’m not just talking about making you cum either. That’s the last bit, the ultimate aim and the climax to it all. One of the key things that men particularly need to learn is when to increase stimulation and when to take it slow. Unlike women who can to a greater or lesser extend experience multiple orgasms men have a recovery time between their orgasm and its associated ejaculation and the next one. It’s a fact of life. Assuming that they don’t become hyper-sensitive or sore through constant stimulation women get to have as many orgasms as they chose to give themselves.

Maybe that’s why some societies actively discourage masturbation as another form of sexual suppression. I mean what would the world turn in to if we all knew how to pleasure and be pleasured in the bedroom? We’d have so much fun that we’d not take notice of all the people in the world telling us what to do because we would have found and claimed another freedom LOL.

Back to male masturbation because it’s something that I’ve been acquainting myself with since I was a teenager. Masturbating without cumming is a key technique that you develop when you realise that there are only so many times you can cum. That’s partly because even the youngest and randiest guy has to recover and partly because masturbation by its nature takes place when you have the requisite privacy which at a young age tends to be when everyone else is out of the house. By masturbating and practicing what’s called edging men learn they can intensify the sensation of their eventual orgasm and feel the thrill of the build up to climax for quite a long time. If you get it right your intense, ball-clenching thrill ride can last for tens of minutes teetering on the edge of orgasm, but get it wrong and you can cum too soon. That’s disappointing enough but if you edge for a while and then start to cum but hold it back you can sometimes top the orgasm and lose your erection too. Bad times.

If any ladies have any questions about male masturbation to help improve their technique, or if they would like to comment about their own masturbation technique, as practiced on themselves or by them on their partner then please comment below or email me 🙂

Masturbation For Relaxation

Samantha Bentley MasturbatingSuze and I have both been experiencing a little stress recently and because of that we’ve been looking for healthy outlets for our frustrations and anxiety. We’ve just moved into a new house so there’s plenty of scope to lose yourself in DIY and gardening particularly because the previous owners were terribly unskilled at hope improvement, rarely gardened and were a pair of lazy sods. On the upside we are uncovering a beautiful garden and the lovely home that hides under the botched DIY.

So we have scope for losing ourselves in the physical and mental challenges we face away from the stress bits that are currently stalking us. The other way to de-stress is sex. That’s fine if you’re both about at the same time, say in the evenings but busy lives mean that during the day it’s not always possible.

There is of course going solo, or to be totally direct masturbation. A few mornings back I saw Suze had woken up a little tense so I told her to lay in bed while I made her breakfast. But before I made my way downstairs to the kitchen I reached into her bedside drawer and pulled out her Womanizer Clitoral Stimulator which happens to be her current favourite and guarantees swift satisfaction every time. “What do you want me to do with that?” she asked. “Enjoy yourself.” I said.

And she did because by the time I returned with her porridge and a cuppa she was far more relaxed and wearing a devilish little smile as if she had just indulged in a guilty pleasure. Which of course she had.

The more I thought about it the more I realised that not only is masturbation for stress relief a great thing for adults but as adolescents the discovery of masturbation must have been great for my teenage angst. I know it didn’t cure it completely but it must have helped because I do remember enjoying masturbation and wondering after the first time I tried it why I hadn’t tried it before. I guess that if I hadn’t started masturbating I would simply have been an even bigger bundle of anxiety and neuroses that I actually was.

Not sure it it’s the same for girls, I’ll have to ask Suze. I assume it would have been the same for her because at that age you’re a pleasure seeker and totally self-centred in a lot of ways so anything that releases endorphins like masturbation is going to be a hit and something that you’re going to want to experience time and time again.

So remember if today is getting you stressed, give yourself the gift of an orgasm. But not at your desk unless you have a very understanding boss.

The Swinging Neighbourhood

On TopIn the 1970s there was a lot of talk of swinging. Back then the cliché was a fruit bowl in the middle of the coffee table with car keys thrown in for each one of the ladies in turn to fish out. I say cliché because being rather young at the time I can’t vouch for the voracity of this particular scenario. What just struck me as I wrote those last few sentences is that the guys had the cars and the women picked – randomly unless they studied the key fobs very carefully so they could find the guy they fancied with skilled fingertips digging through the car keys. It wasn’t that women were empowered, at all simply a product of the reality that men had cars and if women were lucky they learned to drive.

Moving forward to today things are a little different. We have had a genuine revolution in the way in which women are viewed in sexual terms. Some developments are good, some bad though on balance women are generally better off in terms of being able to choose their own sexual destiny, orientation and how they achieve sexual gratification. In the 1960s the sexual revolution it has to be said sounded good but from the accounts I have heard was more about guys getting it on with a lot of women rather than equality and freedom for all.

Women can now choose to have multiple partners if they so wish, be as laddish as they want or chaste and pure until Mr or Miss Right comes along. What has moderated the expansion of free love and swinging is to a certain extent the increase in sexually transmitted diseases generally and AIDS in particular.

Now everyone can learn about sex, the risks of multiple partners and the fun to be had from the full panoply of sexual play by careful research on the Internet (Not everything on there is true BTW!) you can take measures to protect yourself ranging from abstinence to careful, safe play strategies so that the fun doesn’t have to stop completely.

This means that every neighbourhood or circle of friends is a potential set of swingers. Or not, because while tales of swinging are great for erotic stories, the tabloids lascivious appetites and general sexual folklore not every neighbourhood is packed with swingers shagging each other senseless every Saturday night. Swinging does happen, in homes, clubs and even car parks across the country but to get hung-up on it is a mistake because there’s far more to adventurous sex than trying to put something in Mrs Bun the baker’s wife’s oven.

What’s The Kink U Like?

Sex Toys For Your Valentine

Sex Toys For Your Valentine

Life in general and the adult biz in particular taught me one thing – you can never think you’ve seen it all because as soon as you think that something will pop up to surprise you.

Everyone has a kink, a fetish a predilection if you will and don’t let them tell you otherwise. So, what’s yours, pray tell?

I don’t mind if it’s one I’ve heard of before but it’ll be even better if it’s something new and really kinky. 😀

“This Morning” Bondage Shocker

Shay HendrixWell, the FSOG bandwagon is approaching full speed isn’t it. Even ITV’s “This Morning” woke everyone up by featuring a “Beginner’s Guide to Bondage” and immediately providing the doltish “journalists” the Daily Mail with something to get irate about.

I have no reservations in linking to the Daily Fail because everyone else is and it’s not like a link from here is suddenly going to propel an unkown bunch of dull and indolent writers lacking in imagination into the public eye. So here’s the “shocking” story.

Now, I can’t say if the feature was “Tawdry” as described by the mail because that’s a matter of personal taste and TBH I don’t even watch the show as a rule as I’m not a fan of the format.

The clip on the Daily Fail’s website is only 30 seconds long so I thought I’d watch the item in context on the ITV on demand site. Sadly I think it’s been edited out of the on-demand programme! It’s on YouTube here . If I’m honest it looked more like an opportunity for product placement than anything else.

Where was the explanation of the deep sensuality and variety of sensory pleasure that bondage play amongst beginners can provide?

So let’s consider what accompanied the “Beginner’s Guide”. Alongside the discussion of benefits and befits cap was a segment on how to get the most out of your mobile phone provider when you renew your contract. So far so eclectic and uninspired, but don’t worry we were also enthralled by an item with the strapline “I bit off my sex attacker’s tongue” and a “Puppet facelift” live on the show. If you don’t know what a puppet facelift is it involves pulling barbed threads through the face of the victim, erm I mean patient under local anaesthetic.

While there is a lot of blandness in the programme there’s also a lot of stuff, including the BDSM element that may not be appropriate for a daytime show.

But don’t worry Anton Du Beke was on too so it must be a wholesome show, right?

What pisses me off is partly the Daily Fail’s usual laziness, they must have wet themselves when they saw the “Beginner’s Guide” was scheduled. But more than that I’m fed up that UK TV channels can provide this this sort of drossy TV which amounts to little more than chewing gum for the brain where serious issues like managing your money, considering cosmetic surgery, sexual assault or exploring your sexuality are featured with as much gravity as choosing a new washing detergent. In fact the only thing that annoyed me about the “Beginner’s Guide” itself was its flimsiness and unnecessary use of two half naked models. Attractive as the models were they were unnecessary for the item.

Licking Me Better

George Uhl eating Lexi Lou's PussySince Alex wrote his post about cock sucking the other day I thought I should write one about cunnilingus. Seems only fair, right?

Cunnilingus is something that I enjoy receiving and where possible giving too, but that’s another post altogether 😉 The problem is that not every partner you have is into licking pussy, fortunately for me that’s been rare. Aren’t I a lucky girl?

Just because you have a willing partner between your legs doesn’t mean the earth will move for you. In fact sometimes getting oral pleasure from your partner barely raises a smile. Here’s a tip for everyone with a female lover – we like attentiveness, listen to what we want and remember all us girls are not the same.

The usual joke about a man going down on a woman is that they can’t find the clitoris with a map and a full set of directions but I think that’s only a tiny portion of the story. In the search for the clitoris I think lots of men forget about the rest of the vulva. It’s a fascinating structure and I would advise all lovers to explore it with their partner as part of foreplay, I can’t imagine a more fun way to learn about female anatomy.

I’ll explain why I say this in terms of my experience and preferences because everybody is different in terms of the shape of their vulva and what gets their motor running. It also depends what mood I’m in as to whether I like licking, sucking, biting or probing.

OK, so a good lick of the clitoris is marvellous and will have me shaking all over although even Alex the partner who has been with me the longest hasn’t quite given me a clitoral orgasm with his tongue. His muscular tongue often has me teetering on the edge of blissful oblivion but frustratingly for us both never manages it 🙁 Licking, swirling, lapping and a gentle nibble all work on my clit especially when they are mixed together in a naughty cocktail of oral attention.

I like the feeling of a tongue lapping my lips too. First outside with long, slow motions that get more and more insistent until the tongue penetrates my outer lips (Labia Majora) and reaches the delicate and sensitive inner lips (Labia Minora) tucked away inside. By then I’m wet with his saliva and my own juices so it’s slick and flavoursome down there, pure essence of sex.

At this point Alex might start probing me with his tongue and dipping into the deep well of my vagina. It strains his tongue’s frenulum but that doesn’t seem to prevent him from trying to push his tongue as deep inside me as he can. I can’t imagine why the dirty, dirty boy!

Like I said earlier which of these different aspects of cunnilingus I enjoy depends upon my mood at the time so it’s essential that my lover responds to my body’s reaction to their actions. One day it can be sucking my labia, the next nibbling them, the next a full-on assault on my clit. Whatever it is I’m a very polite girl so I always say thank you nicely afterwards 😀

Double Meanings

Venus BerlinIt’s interesting that some words and phrases have double meanings and that those meanings change depending on who is using them, who they are talking to and the situations in which we find ourselves. I’m not talking about words that have defined means that are different in different context, like “sex” – this can mean all sorts of things from a euphemistic noun referring to genitalia (I first read it used in this context by Anaïs Nin), a mass noun referring to gender or even a verb. Then of course there is the act of sexual intercourse itself.

What’s interesting here is that some words mutate and we don’t even know it. To escort someone simply means to accompany them yet in the context of say a security situation you imagine the person doing the escorting is a burly bloke who uses words sparingly and lets his presence do the talking.

In a romantic setting, admittedly in a rather old fashioned vernacular you would escort someone to the theatre or do so when taking them out for a meal. Think of a Noel Coward play and you can imagine the stereotypical maiden aunt hovering around in the background while the young lovers try to flirt in a frightfully proper and polite way.

You may also think of the Ford Motor Company’s predecessor to the Focus model but that’s a bit silly.

Then there’s the kind of escorts you can hire to accompany you to a dinner or social event, maybe even a business event. Why would you do this? Well, for lots of reasons. Being let down at the last minute or not having someone with the appropriate social skills available to accompany you perhaps?

You may also simply want to see a fresh face from outside your circle of friends who is more than happy to talk and listen without the preconceptions and baggage that an acquaintance or friend brings. Living in a metropolis can amplify this issue so it’s no wonder that are so popular for some men.

This isn’t a solution for everyone but it’s certainly an avenue to pursue if you’re in need of company for some reason, perhaps at short notice or simply to add a bit of variety to your social life.

That’s the beauty of the English language, it’s capability to allow the expression of ideas with subtlety and intelligence. So many words have the ability to hoodwink and amuse us either in the form of imaginative and constructive use through written communication or even within humour. For example:

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”

Ha, you thought the joke was going to be smutty didn’t you. Well you underestimated me, not everything that crosses my mind is sexually orientated but if you want a silly, postcard humour then go to this video on YouTube and get all the double entendres you can shake a stick at.

And if you’re not from the UK let em just say this was a very popular sitcom in the 1970s/80s over here.