Relationships are all about understanding the other person and understanding yourself. Without understanding derived from communication and an empathy between partners a relationship is pretty much doomed to an unhappy perpetuity or eventual catastrophic collapse.
This applies to all aspects of a relationship and to the emotional and physical side of things particularly. Dealing with attitudes towards third parties this is a very tricky area. One amusing example of this is illustrated in an ad on UK TV at the moment where a wife asks her husband who he would sleep with if he got the chance. He refuses to answer at first, but assured by his wife that “it’s only a game” and he “can choose anyone” – thinking he will choose a famous person – he finally chooses. It’s a woman from his place of work.
Of course this is a huge faux pas. Fantasising about someone who is totally unattainable is one thing, but seriously considering acts of carnal passion with someone who you might actually be able to consort with is something else. It’s a line that most partners would not like their other half to cross. OK there’s the so-called “cuckold” crew who apparently get off on that sort of thing but cuckolds and swingers aside there’s little room in most relationships for such desires.
I’ve been rather lucky in that respect. Although it was a fantasy which I never consummated I had a real thing for Suze’s best friend just after we met. I didn’t do much to keep it a secret, which sounds rather cruel on my part until you realise how open we are with each other. It wasn’t like I would actually jump on the girl’s bones. Only Suze said that I could if she wanted to. Now, she was in a stable relationship so I never pushed it, I’m not sure what she (Suze’s gf) would have thought of me if I had. Ah, what could have been … let’s face it a threesome with Suze probably as Suze wanted to get into her pants too. What a night that would have been … or nights, hehehehe.
What about you guys, what lines will you not cross with your partner when it comes to sex and relationships?