Taking A Piss In The Dark At The Fuck Factory

By | March 6, 2011

I told you in my last London porn shoot post that I would tell you all about my visit to the ladies toilet.  It was quite an experience, I’ve been in some pretty rough rock clubs in my time but this really did have me a little on edge.

We took a break from filming and I decided to go for a pee, as you do.  I was instructed to go through in to the hall and turn left downstairs.  At first I didn’t notice the small opening in the wall next to the tiny lift shaft.

There I descended some of the most dimly lit spiralling stone stairs I have ever walked down.  They had a really tight curve as they clung to the lift shaft and were barely wide enough for someone to pass.  The lack of light and confined space on the stair all added to my sense of foreboding for some reason.

Those stairs would have been the perfect place to meet an undesirable entity.  All sorts of malevolent  thoughts were springing in to my head for no apparent reason.  I suppose it was the juxtaposition of the open grandiose upper floor and this almost squalid stair.

When I finally got to the bottom the floor I met with a glass door and then an equally dim corridor.  I found out later that there is a large cellar area which featured in another of Tanya’s films.  In the dim light I could just make out a toilet sign and I made my way towards it.

When I pushed the door open I was greeted by a mixture of the old and the new.  There were 4 cubicles with baby blue painted doors and a couple of round stainless steel wash basins.  To say the facilities were not salubrious would not be an under statement.  It felt like I was back in the day working in service and happy just to have an indoor loo.

I opened the first cubicle to find there was no loo roll in it and the same for each until I got to the third.  But I wanted to check out the last one.  It was the strangest toilet I have ever encountered.  It was the same dimensions as the previous toilets but for some reason the toilet was mounted on the right wall.

This meant that it faced the left wall instead of the door and created a problem in itself.  Because the cubicle was the same width as the others it meant that there was no leg room for you to sit on it facing the right way.

Believe me I tried just out of curiosity and if you were anything over 3 feet tall you had no chance of using it correctly.  This had me totally puzzled.  If anyone can offer an explanation I would be happy to know why it has been positioned that way.

It’s not often that a visit to the loo can create such a response but then again Portland Place is on ordinary dwelling.  😉