Toilet Tissue Balls

By | August 18, 2006

Toilet paper. It looks kind of innocent, doesn’t it? We have a roll on display in every room of the house. Not because I find it aesthetically pleasing or because we can’t afford the standard household nick nacks. But, because it is a valuable Sex Aid. At this point you are all thinking I have gone fruit loops, aren’t you?

Just think about it. How inconspicuous a roll of toilet paper is, your parents and friends would never guess why it is sitting on your coffee table. πŸ˜€ We also have a roll in the kitchen on the worktop, in the hall table drawer, on the office desk, by the bed on the bedside table and of course lots in the bathroom. Not one person asks why we have them scattered about the place.

Don’t let on to our parents but they are used for mopping up after-sex fluids. To be more precise and less eloquent, for bunging up my fanny and wiping Alex’s dripping cock. LOL The last thing you need when you’ve just finished fucking is to have to get up and search for toilet paper with cum dripping all over the place.

So, we keep ours to hand for just that very task. All rolls are strategically placed to be at hand wherever we fuck. Now, you understand why toilet roll is an important sex aid, without it there would be strange stains on carpets all over the world.

After Alex has pumped me full of his cum I need to bung up with at least 6 sheets of toilet tissue to hold back the dam. This will buy me enough time to get to the bathroom to get cleaned up. The timing of bung removal must be under 5 minutes, otherwise you have problems down there.

If left on any longer the tissue tends to adhere to all you little nooks and crannies. And fuck! if it gets stuck and dries on to you clit don’t try taking it off without moistening it first. I only made that mistake once…

Here am I giving you all advice on the swift removal of the fanny bung but more often than not we end up in an embrace which takes me well over the limit. Much to Alex’s peril. Yes Alex. He is the one who will be finding small tissue balls inside my flaps for the rest of the evening. He assures me that giving cunnilingus is not good when your tongue is rolling small pieces of tissue around. πŸ˜€

Incidentally, if any of you know of a tissue that doesn’t tend to stick in as quickly as Charmin can you let me know in the comments. I must admit I am feeling a tendency towards using Andrex Moist Toilet Tissue but I have reservations about how they may taint my pussy. I’m not wanting to make Alex ill when he licks me afterwards. Does anyone know if these moist wipes are tongue friendly? Hehehe.

I don’t fancy the idea of taking him to hospital with poisoning and having to explain what he ingested, and how. Note to self: Next time I’m shopping I need to check the active ingredients of moist wipes.

It’s amazing what you can find under toilet tissue on the internet. I found a site where you can design your own toilet tissue. My guess is that the most frequently used image will either be the boss or an ex partner. Brown could be a popular colour choice too. LOL Go take a look here.

I also found this too. Now this is taking the whole thing a little too far. It is now possible using a wireless connection to have the latest news printed out on to your toilet roll, so you can read before you wipe! And if you don’t allow the ink to dry before use, your partner could catch up on the headlines at home πŸ˜€

Many thanks to Ceeci who gave me the idea for this post this one inspired me