Close To The Edge Of Your Sexuality

By | July 20, 2011

Bite KissIs there anyone who has never questioned their sexuality? I truly believe not, because even for the most closed-minded of people there has to have been a moment in their lives when the thought has crossed their minds that their sexual orientation was different to that which they thought it was.

For most people of course this is to wonder if they were gay or bisexual as for the vast majority of human beings their primary sexuality is heterosexual.

I say primary because I really do believe that we are all a mixture of the two sexes and our sexuality is a reflection of this. There are times when I, a boringly heterosexual guy, can understand what a woman (or gay man for that matter) sees in a bloke. And I don’t mean here that I recognise the object of their desire as being physically attractive, amusing, intelligent, kind or any of the other traits that you can intellectualise and classify as attractive. I can recognise the raw animal magnetism that some guys have, or the air of confidence which makes potential partners metaphorically swoon in their presence. I just occasionally feel it in a very tangible way.

It’s different from the way in which I feel when I’m turned on by a woman, it doesn’t have the intensity of that experience, but it feels like an incredibly diluted version of the same reaction. Interestingly the dilution does not make it any less recognisable, in fact the lack of intensity means that the intellectual and emotional realisation that a guy is attractive can have more clarity than attraction for a sexy woman because it’s not clouded by the primal urges that overshadow my feelings about the female of the species.

I’ve always been open to the idea that I might be gay because it always struck me that there was nothing wrong with alternate sexualities, despite coming from a household that held strong Anglican values, specifically ones about heterosexuality. Very traditional and very straightforward. I actually think that if I had been gay my parents would have actually accepted it and it would have changed their values but as it is we’ll never know.

Being that open meant I was able to explore my feelings towards sex, men, women and gay men/women without any real hang-ups. As part of that I considered whether what Suze refers to as my feminine side indicated that I was actually gay. Not surprising as growing up in an industrial area where any sign that you weren’t a big butch bloke was taken as being “gay” meant that my less than aggressive demeanour and tendency to try and accept women as equals meant I was often regarded as  potentially “gay” by my peers. You can tell I didn’t like some of the attitudes around me when I was growing up. Not everyone was like that and I certainly had close friends who were not of that mind-set but it was prevalent in most of those around me. Sadly, that included girls which meant that although I did have female friends they didn’t see me in my early years as boyfriend material. Interestingly they did see me as someone they could talk to which came in handy as I grew up 😉

So, out of all the introspection I was able to realise that I’m straight, I love women, I find them attractive, they make me horny. I’ve said it before that in the sex blogging arena being straight is almost dull and there have been bloggers in the past who have tried to pretend to be otherwise for attention. But what’s the point of lying when you’ll get found out? Truth is always more interesting than fiction and the small fraction of our lives that we reveal to you guys on this blog is more interesting than anything that we could make up.

If we told you everything about our lives it would warp your delicate minds. Hehehe!

Everyone should have the space and the support to find their own sexuality and be comfortable with it. Sadly not everyone is as lucky as I was to be able to do so.