The Lesbian Next Door

By | August 4, 2008

I don’t like putting people in boxes so I do try and be accepting or at least understanding of people’s views and sexuality. I’m not attracted to men, but I can appreciate that a man is good looking, well built and may be attractive to others, be that men or women, for a variety of reasons. I can of course appreciate women – because I’m attracted to women.

What I can also appreciate is that some lesbian women mistrust or even resent bisexual women. The road to coming out, or even admitting to yourself that you’re gay can be long and hard. When you finally do reach a point in your life where you are happy with your sexuality it must be somewhat annoying to think that some individuals are “playing” at being gay.

The problem I think comes from the difficulties that our society presents to gay people and the thought that people who are bisexual or “lezzing it up” for a laugh may just be taking the piss. And I think the latter of those two reasons stems in no small part from women and girls “lezzing it up” for the benefit of their partners.

I once heard a guy say “all women are latent lesbians”. I think that’s more a reflection on his desires and fantasies than his experience of non-heterosexual sexualities. What I think he meant was “I wish my girlfriend was bisexual – allowing a threesome from time to time – but preferred cock”. Not a point of view that’s particularly abhorrent, I would just prefer a little honesty.

There are a couple of shows that used to run and re-run constantly on Sky in the UK where a camera crew visit night clubs and encourage the revellers to get semi-nude and rude for the entertainment of the viewing public. This occasionally displayed one of the classic pieces of theatre that women have learned will pique a man’s interest – The drunken lezzed-up kiss.

Short-skirted tipsy girls, encouraged by the presenter would bump, grind and smooch – much to the delight of the male party-goers. It’s all a bit of fun, yes, but to a gay woman it could easily be seen as a slap in the face, devaluing her sexuality and passing it off as “something that girls do when they’re drunk” or “a passing phase she’s going through”.

I don’t want to get all sanctimonious about this because I love watching a couple of girls getting it on as much as the next man. Indeed I get a little miffed if anyone implies that you’re either gay or straight, sexuality is a fluid thing that evolves through your life and encompasses new experiences – and in some case different genders at different times. Two girls having a laugh and getting the boys excited is fine by me, but I can see how someone who has struggled with their sexuality all their lives would find it offensive.