Peer pressure is an incredibly powerful thing. Mix it with raging hormones and little social ineptitude and you have the perfect mix for some very peculiar behaviour. Which is why our school days are filled with exaggeration, embarrassment, but perhaps most importantly self-discovery.
I was reminded of my school days while watching an old episode of Doctor Who that one of my work colleagues has lent me on DVD. At school I watch it in a slightly different way than those around me. They were all awed by the monsters and the ray-guns, whereas I had just as much interest in the infinite possibilities that travel in time and space threw up. Oh and the cute assistants LOL.
I think everyone has something where they feel out of sync with their friends at school. And I think the most area in which we feel different from everyone else is our sexuality. The reason of course is that we are all different and have our own tastes and nuances that make us what we are. In your teenage years you don’t understand this and the rapid changes in your mind and body means that it’s awfully confusing.
I don’t know about girls but for boys it’s all about how big is your cock, when you first get pubic hair, have you kissed a girl, have you touched a girl’s breasts, or ass, or got inside her knickers. I suspect girls have it the same way.
This led to a lot of lies and bravado. It also meant a lot of my classmates fell into the trap of total conformity. The only acceptable sexuality was straight, girls were for a good time not people who you interacted and had relationships with too. If you hadn’t developed physically as fast as the most advanced boys in the year you were “a girl”. If you didn’t tow the line you were “gay”.
I suffered from this but less than some. I just fell inside the middle third. What’s that? Well the top third was the popular boys who had the confidence through their mutual massaging of each others egos and early physical development. The girls all lusted after them and everyone else wanted to be in their group. Well everyone apart from me because I always saw through the bluff and bluster to see that they were frightened schoolboys like everyone else.
The bottom third was the unfortunate bunch of lads who were picked on because they were either effeminate, late developers, or had family issues. It used to make my skin crawl to watch them being picked on.
I was (just) in the middle third. A bit geeky, and a late developer physically but just clever enough to keep my head down most of the time and able to slip under radar of the bullying taunting top third. Being second youngest in the school year I would have been open to abuse about my lack of pubic hair until most of the other guys had started to develop theirs. However I have always been rather well proportioned in the penis department so that kind of cancelled out any taunts about that.
Being in the middle third also meant that I was able to talk to girls as a friend without being seen as too much of a threat by the tops and not repulse the girls by being one of the perceived pond life at the bottom of the popularity league table.
Now I’ve got my self thinking about H. She was quite something and I’ll have to write about her one day.