When I was in high school I had a thing for my best friends brother. I’ll call him B for the post although that is not his real name. Lol He was about 5 years older than me and nothing much to look at really although he was bright and I have always been drawn to guys with intellect and intelligence. I find them stimulating in more ways than cerebral.
He was a bit of a hippy with long mousy hair which more often than not you could not see him for. He had an athletic build and a bit of bum fluff under his nose which threatened to join together and become a real moustache one day.
His musical tastes were somewhat unusual and I hadn’t heard of the bands he was in to, in fact the music sounded like something from another planet. God only knows what I found so fascinating about him. I don’t recall any of my friends at school actually finding him in the least attractive.
But I think I like him because he was just a plain Jane (or John?). He didn’t stand there preening himself when there were girls around or showing off just to impress. Quite and unassuming and studious, I think he went to Oxford when he left to study anthropology.
I would always wear something with a low neckline if I went round to her house, although I don’t know why my boobs were far from ample at that age. I suppose it’s the thought that counts. 😀 He was in his room most of the time when I went to visit listening to his ambient sounds. But on the odd occasion when he would materialise for a drink or the loo, I would make attempts to bump in to him on the stairs or in the kitchen.
All these attempts of mine were thwarted. He never really paid any attention to me other than to be courteous. And when I went home I would take my lurid thoughts about him to bed with me as I groped under the covers and touched myself. I wasn’t very well educated in the pleasures of self love but I satisfied my naÃ¯ve needs at the time.
My gussets were usually more than a little moist and sometimes I would take to giving them a quick rinse under the tap before placing them in the wash basket to be processed by my mum.
Nothing ever came of my fixation and I fell for another friends brother shortly after. He was a dark haired Irish guy, this time more my own age. Only 4 years older. Lol. If anything I was persistent and wanted to experience the older man.
Again he had no interest in me so the chase didn’t last long there either. What was it with me and older guys? I obviously wasn’t attractive to them. Girls there ages would have a well developed pair of tits and mine were only just beginning to round. What would they see in me? But it didn’t stop me from imagining them taking me. Showing me the ways of love. I’d lie awake at night and imagine them suddenly being captivated and tearing at my clothes in passion.
My last concerted effort to bag myself an older guy involved one of our neighbours. I had a bedroom at the back of my parents property and the guy involved was over the back, his garden adjoined our next door neighbour. Ideal, as his room was almost opposite mine.
To this day I don’t really know what he looked like. From my room he appeared to be another long haired student looking type, tall and athletic. (Sounds familiar, eh!) He would quite often prance around his room headbanging, you could just make out the music through a small opening in his top window. Usually Black Sabbath.
I would do anything to be stood in my window getting his attention, I even placed my record player in the window so that I coud stand there studying record sleeves. He must have know I was after him. Occasionally I would catch him taking a glance over to my window but he never acknowledged me. No wave or act of recognition. I wasn’t sure if he was shy, maybe he was.
I wasn’t, I got so desperate to grab his attention that one day I stood in the window in full view with just my bra on. And for added effect I then started to dance too. I’m not sure if he thought I was too young or he was gay but he pulled his curtain round to obscure the view. I had been thwarted again.
That was my last attempt to get myself the older guy. They would have to come to me in future…strange that is exactly what they did, my next two boyfriends were older than me. Therefore proving that if you stop trying to make things happen they will.
Is this a stage all girls go through? Did anyone else out there have a thing about older partners when they were younger?