I first encountered, or at least became aware of homosexuality at secondary school, a couple of the boys in my year were gay. One was quietly and confidently gay, the other was a bit of a lost soul and would use his homosexuality like a weapon if he was challenged, becoming increasingly camp and demonstrative in proportion to the grief he was getting from some of the other guys at school.
The most memorable and pitiable comment he once made was “I love having a big shit … it’s like getting a big fat cock up my arse.” It made me wince when he said it to me and a group of boys. It wasn’t that I found homosexuality abhorrent more that I felt his pain. He couldn’t be himself but felt that to fend of a beating from the often homophobic elements in the school I was at he had to make himself the object of ridicule and scorn -being laughed at was better than having his face kicked in.
I wonder what happened to him and if he eventually found an environment where his sexual orientation wasn’t such a burden?