Splitting Hairs

By | August 8, 2006

(Or hares 🙂 )

Aghhh! Ok, it’s not the usual way to start a post but I have just checked out my boobs and…I hate to admit it, I found a couple of small dark hairs around my nipple. Where the hell did they come from? Does the nipple fairy come out in the night and plant dark hairs in your areola?

Last time I examined my breasts closely I saw nothing, not one dark hair between them and now two! I bet you know just what I did next. Yes, I did. I got the tweezers out and plucked the buggers out. Now, no more dark hairs. I showed them to Alex and he just laughed. Typical, men are supposed to have hairy chest’s, not ladies. The others included, “It will make your hair curl” that was used to make you eat the crusts on bread and “eat your carrots they will help you see in the dark”. As if!

It could be all the good food I ate as a kid. Did your parents tell you stuff just to make you eat up your dinner. Mine did. I used to get, “eat that all up and it will put hairs on your chest”. It’s like WTF, why should I, a girl, want hairs on my chest?

Oh, I just remembered an old boyfriend of mine. He lived with his parents who split up not long after we met. His father was found to be sleeping with another woman instead of working his nightshift. Nice work if you can get it. LOL

I would go round for my tea. It was all very British and quite formal sat at the dinning table to eat the meat and two veg dinner. We would then retire to the living room and chat. His father from what I remember was quite a jovial character with the wit of a salesman. Not sure if that is a good thing but he was very approachable. So was his mother for that matter, although not the brightest woman I have ever met.

My boyfriend and I sat on the sofa and his parents sat in the two chairs. We made polite conversation, I can’t quite recall what we were talking about. During the conversation I became aware of my bf’s mother looking down her blouse. Trying hard to be polite, I continued to talk to my bf’s father.

Out of the corner of my eye I observed her placing her hand inside her shirt fondling her left breast. I didn’t dare look over in her direction, instead I opted to nudge my bf. She then began to pluck at her breast with her fingers. “Mother, what are you doing”, he asked her. “I’m plucking the hairs from my nipple”, she replied as if it were perfectly normal to do it in company.

I tried to hold back the laughter but failed miserably. There were tears in my eyes I was laughing so much. It was probably in part due to my embarrassment at her behaviour but I was practically rolling around on the sofa with laughter. Meanwhile his mother who seemed quite unaffected at being discovered, continued to pluck away.

This was the first and last time that I ever saw anyone do this in public. I wonder if she still does it? Maybe it’s her party piece. LOL