Porn School

By | October 7, 2008

I wonder if there is a porn school where you can go and learn your techniques before trying them out on the silver screen.

One of the first techniques must be ensuring the camera gets a good shot at all times and whilst fucking the girl this is achieved by bending your arm and placing it slightly back. This is a classic used in all porn.

Another is the girl increasing the amount of cum ejaculated by the guy in to your eager mouth. This involves nothing more than sloshing it about in your mouth adding copious amounts of saliva.

Next comes “cum dumping”, this usually involves a lot of tongue swirling and displaying the deposit on top of the lips. Then the girl pushes it out of the side of the mouth sometimes accompanied by a rubbing of fingers over the chin.

Then there is the question of lube…you don’t seem to need lube in porn, just use spit. Because as we all know it is perfect for anal sex, just run a bit around her anus and she is ready to go. Lol

The one thing I hate most is the exaggerated breathing that it seems you can’t get away from. Who the bloody hell decided that it would be a good idea to make the pornstars breath using their teeth to amplify the sound?

It sound naff and results in some hilarious face pulling. A good example of this can be seen in the first scene of the DVD we watched the other night, Film Erotica’s The Estate Agent. I swear the guy in that scene looks like Mick Jagger on a bad day. You could stick him to a shop window with those lips. 🙂

My last observation is the token “lezzing it up scene”. You know the one I mean, two girls who are quite obviously hetro trying to behave as if they like munching pussy. You can more often than not tell by their body language that the very idea is doing nothing for them at all.

I have noticed in the DVD’s we have watched recently that there seems to be a new wave of porn entering the market place where guys spend time bringing the girls off first. So there may be some changes on the horizon. Could it be that the porn industry has just realised that girls like to watch porn too.

Just saying…