Festive Fuckery

By | December 10, 2012

Festive FuckeryI said it earlier this month, I’m really looking forward to the Christmas break and being able to spend a little quality time with Suze. Like so many others we can have a frenetic lifestyle which leads to us spending less time doing things together. One of those things is of course playing with sex toys so Christmas for us is a time to enjoy each other, and sex toys in a way that the rest of the year really doesn’t allow.

We do like designer sex toys but that doesn’t mean that they are always the best type of sex toys to introduce to the bedroom. While they often exhibit features that set them apart from more mass-market products designer sex toys can be a little safe, maybe even serious? Yep, having an orgasm is a serious business but we think it should also be fun for everyone involved whether it’s a solo enterprise or a team effort, if you know what I mean.

I point this out because while the first vibrator I bought for Suze was an orange plastic monstrosity that she’d pointed out in the seedy sex shop we frequented at that point in time we had more fun with the seconds … it was a jelly vibrator that consisted of a translucent purple jelly sleeve over a silver vibrating inner. It was relatively crude by today’s standards but it was fun.

Jelly vibrators can be like that, colourful, unthreatening and the sort of thing that’s easy to introduce to the bedroom if one of the partners is not keen on the idea of sex toys. Whether it’s your girlfriend who isn’t comfortable with something man-made stimulating her most intimate parts or your boyfriend who thinks he should be the only thing to give you pleasure a sex toy that looks more toy than “marital aid” has to be the way to go. Hell, I saw that term “martial aid” referring to a sex toy retailer a couple of days ago – newsflash, it might be accurate but that’s a bit 1970s!

Jelly sex toys are also comfortable to use. A hard plastic sex toy can in some circumstances feel a little unyielding whereas a soft jelly vibrator is less likely to feel like the intrusion of an instrument and more like something organic when you are pleasuring yourself.

As well as being fun sex toys can be quite beautiful. Yes the carefully crafted silicone masterpieces of sex toy design created by designer sex toy manufacturers do often look beautiful but there’s one group of sex toys that have an intrinsic aesthetic beauty all of their own. What I’m talking about are glass dildos.

Even a clear and colourless glass dildo is a thing of beauty and with different coloured glass, intricate designs and even dildos run through with a rainbow of colours, glass dildos appeal to the eyes as well as the libido. As it’s easy to heat and cool a glass dildo they open up a number of kinky possibilities. One tip though. If you can go for borosilicate glass as this holds lube better than other glass materials.

Now, back to our first sex shop … luckily things are not like that anymore. High street sex shops are on the whole more emporiums of gleeful pleasure than dark dens of guilty iniquity. And then you have online dispensers of sexual bliss products like sextoys.co.uk who provide a much wider selection of adult products than any physical store can then deliver them discretely to your door.

When it comes to sex toys like most things in life the Internet has made most things far simpler, easier and quicker.