If you’re going to tell a tall story and pretend that it’s true you really have to reign in your imagination. And over the years as sex bloggers we’ve read some really tall stories about the sexual exploits of various characters we’ve encountered online.
In some instances we’ve been taken in for a while, in one particular instance a very intelligent blogger constructed and amazingly consistent and rich “reality” online. She was obviously intelligent, articulate and with a great imagination. Here scenarios were plausible and slowly drew in thousands of people over the couple of years she was writing. She never sought to take advantage of her readers so until quite close to her sudden disappearance few of us suspected that she was anything other than 100% genuine. The few of us who discussed her disappearance afterwards came to the conclusion that her whole online presence was a project of sorts. For what reason we can only guess at.
For the most part outlandish stories of wild sex and tales of amazing sexual prowess are told either to enhance the ego of the author or to allow them to act out a fantasy in the full view of the online community. As such they are rarely sophisticated, incredible and more often than not raise a wry smile if not a belly laugh.
Fiction is one thing, the clue is in the name but to tell some stories as if they were true just makes you look a bit silly. As if you couldn’t work it out for yourself here’s what to look out for/things you should avoid putting in your amazing “true” sex story:
- Cheerleaders do not give blowjobs to everyone they meet.
- Traffic cops don’t let women off speeding tickets if they are offered a blow job.
- Anal sex requires more lubricant than a bit of spit.
- Women rarely offer to have a threesome with you and their female best friend ten minutes after you pick them up in a club, or if they do they will probably have a rate card.
- The guy who comes to clean your pool is probably almost drawing his pension and has a bad heart; He is not a 21 year old stud with an Adonis like body a 12” dick and the sexual morals of a dog on heat.
- Not all girls like the taste of your cum – go figure.
- Not all women will make out with your girlfriend for your entertainment.
- Most women wear underwear most of the time.
- Hot teachers do not generally screw their pupils – Sex with your teacher is a harmless adolescent fantasy, but it’s just that a fantasy and if you believe it happens in all but the most unusual of cases you need to grow up.
- No matter how hot you think your girlfriend’s mother is it’s unlikely she will sleep with you as soon as her daughter’s back is turned. And if you want her to then you’re dating the wrong woman.
- At a job interview it’s unlikely you will improve your chances of getting the position by propositioning and attempting to fuck the interviewer.
- Sex-ed lessons do not involve a practical element with your teacher.
- Teenage girls do not ask friends of the family to “make them a woman”, though teenage boys might.
- Women do not masturbate in parked cars in broad daylight for the entertainment of groups of men. If they do it then it’s at night, in the woods at a dogging meet.
- Not all good looking older women are predatory MILs. No matter who much you wish they were.
- Fancying your housekeeper does not mean she’s up for any extra-contractual duties when she’s done the vacuuming.
- Hitchhikers are looking for a lift to their destination, not sex with a random driver, a visit to a GU medicine clinic and a potentially unwanted pregnancy.
All of the above are great if you’re presenting them as fiction but please don’t try to sell them to everyone as reality. And yes we’ve seen every one of the above and some more that we can’t publish on our site.