There’s a line that you cross at some point in a relationship which marks the start of the dirty talk. It might be before you have uttered a word to each other or it may never happen if you as a couple aren’t into explicit talk and expletives – it just depends how filthy you both are when it comes to sex.
It’s rare of course to approach a partner with a chat-up line that involves an explicit and possibly foul-mouthed string of syllables, innuendo is more likely. Even more likely is that your opening gambit would be to try and make a prospective partner laugh. Once you get into each other’s pants things start to change because as the instinct takes over and lust numbs the intellectual part of your brain a deeper primal instinct gets hold of you and you start to talk dirty to each other.
How dirty you talk to each other is again a very personal thing that is unique to the relationship you are in. It may simply be expressing your lustful desires in a way that you would never dream of doing unless you were in the act of foreplay or sex itself but it’s not uncommon for the verbal interplay between partners at these times to be shockingly graphic. You might describe how you feel emotionally and physically while having sex or tell your partner what you are about to do to them. Many couples find it arousing to make one or other partner beg for their partner to do something to them or even plead that they don’t do something else. Of course when you reach that stage you’re in BDSM territory so make sure you have a safe word if your scenes involve acts which might later be seen as non-consenting.
The spectrum of dirty talk covers playful flirting to expressing your dirtiest desires and from what would be seen as pretty conventional sex to the kinkiest of pleasures. In talking dirty to each other both of you can find their levels of arousal increasing and this is the main reason to talk dirty to your partner.
It is not however the only reason. Sometimes when you are talking dirty to one another you can inadvertently, though sometimes deliberately express desires to act in ways and experience new pleasures that you would not otherwise feel at ease to discuss. So long as your partner is receptive and sees it as part of your dirty talk they will regard it as you simply letting your imagination run wild and maybe, if they are receptive they may even suggest you try it for real. However be careful because just like shouting out an ex-partner’s name as you climax trying to suggest a new kink to your partner at the wrong time in your dirty talk may be a disaster. Though, if that’s the case then you should know that already and either content yourself with not experiencing something say anal sex with them or find a new partner.
As with all aspects of your sex life together enjoy and complement each other, adapt to each other’s needs and sometimes do things because you know it gives your partner pleasure but feel you need to change just to please them as you’ll end up resenting it.
The influence of pornography in dirty talk is undeniable and in some ways unfortunate. Watching porn can be part of a healthy sexual relationship and that in itself is a subject that would require many posts to cover how couples can enjoy porn together. Porn has its own vernacular and vocabulary that can be fun to watch and sometimes fun to use in the bedroom. But porn is a theatrical performance and although to a certain extent sex with your partner can contain make-believe and role play acting like porn stars all the time should not form the basis of a sexual relationship.
A less serious effect of watching a lot of porn is slipping in a porn phrase then immediately regretting it as it kills the moment. Phrases like “yeah fuck me hard” and “Your pussy is so tight” can be use occasionally but at the other end of the scale porn stars really do talk crap at times when performing for the camera. The worst example I’ve heard was “Yeah honey, fuck me so I walk funny.”
Hmm, romance isn’t dead, LOL.