I tried to think back and identify when I realised that people sometimes just have sex for the fun of it. It has to have been some time after I realised that sex was what “made babies”. In fact I think the order of my revelations about sex, its practical use and the real fun bit was probably – sex makes babies, people who are married have sex to make babies, sex is enjoyable, some people have sex before marriage (Oooh that was shocking and much disapproved of by my parents!) , some people have sex then don’t get married and finally some people have causal sex.
Of course since then I’ve found out about swinging and kinkiness, alternative sexualities and BDSM … which brings me to my point in writing this. Who on earth did people with, erm, unusual sexual requirements find each other, date and jump on each other’s bones before online dating?
The answer is I think you’ll agree that it was all a bit hit and miss. Yes you could use an old-school dating agency but did many of them have a tick box on their application forms for “Likes to be dominated” or “Only interested in a fuck-buddy”. As I’ve never used one I can’t be entirely sure that such an avant guarde agency didn’t exist I don’t think that rubber fetish and swinging ever featured highly at the old paper based agencies. Come to think of it if dating agencies had been that adventurous then maybe there wouldn’t have been so many unhappy marriages.
The Internet has changed all that. Gone are the furtive trips to an agency because much like purchasing a sex toy it can all be done online from the privacy of your own home, no matter how unusual your requires in a future partner might be. And just like buying a sex toy online, dating via an online dating site can be much more fulfilling too with a huge number of prospective partners too. As with all things in life despite huge numbers of people using such sites not everyone is going to register online to find their perfect partner but just like slipping behind the darkened window of a sex shop only to discover they don’t quite have what you’re looking for using online adult dating doesn’t restrict you as dating agencies used to.
The ability to message other users of a dating site, maybe chat online and get to know them before making a move has a great deal of appeal. And of course avoid making the wrong choice …
Do you know, a few years ago I would not have used a dating site but if I was single now I might join one. Mainly to see what it was like, test the waters and discover who was out there looking for love (or a lusty causal encounter). I’m not saying I’d be jumping in to bed with a different member every night, but that’s the beauty of a site like that, you choose what you do or don’t engage in. And if you do hook up where might it lead?
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