I was asked a few days ago a pretty obvious question, “Are men who visit escorts cheaters?” My first reaction is to pose two questions in response:
- Are those men in a relationship?
- What do people use escorts for?
You can only cheat on someone if you are in a relationship with someone else and that is pretty key in the first instance. You would think for many men who choose to hire an escort for companionship that would effectively negate the question posed about being “cheaters”. However there are another group of men, those in relationship for whom going out with other women is actually part of the dynamic of the relationship with their partner. That’s a line that has to be drawn by the partners in a relationship; It is both personal to that relationship and something that typically evolves over time.
Whether it’s flirting with a stranger then going home to tell your partner about it that turns you both on or going to a swinging club with the couple who run the local post office there is far more variety and excitement in British sexuality than many people believe or care to admit. You can disregard the sensationalist and largely constructed, or at least heavily edited shockumentaries on Channel 5 & Channel 4 because while based on things that actually do go on most people don’t want to be on TV to talk about it, even if they are wearing a ridiculously theatrical mask to preserve their anonymity.
In some places around the world like Australia you can hire an escort for sex, but paying for sex in this country is illegal and asking for sexual services when booking an escort will result in you being politely but firmly refused. So only ring up Babes of London for example for a companion, a dinner date or someone to share a drink with if you’re looking for a girl to relax with.
Frankly I think the question is mute because most acts of infidelity occur with people known by the “cheater”, often known by him and his partner. It could be a workmate, old friend or just someone they pick up in a bar on a drunken night out. Throwing in the word “escort” is just a way of misrepresenting what escort services in the UK offer.
It’s like taking your family saloon in for a regular service and expecting it to emerge a sports car. That’s not what is being advertised so as intelligent adults we should all be able to see that.
Across the country consenting adults are enjoying themselves sexually, in private, as is their right. That could be seen as cheating but again, that depends on the parameters of your relationship. A crafty grope in the stationery cupboard at the office party is seen by some as reason enough for a relationship to split whereas I’ve mentioned above some relationships actively seek a cuckold.
The question asked was of course about a guy hiring a female escort. Perhaps a more interesting thing to think about would be if that person had asked about a woman hiring a male escort. Hmmm?