It’s impossible to write about an aspect of sex in anything but a purely academic way unless you’ve experienced it. But that doesn’t stop some people trying.
I was commenting on Mistress Milliscent’s blog when I first started thinking about this. She’s a woman who very much understands herself and her own sexuality. That is surprisingly rare considering the supposedly enlightened times we live in. Despite all the information that’s available on the Internet and the increasingly liberal attitudes of the public most people have never ventured beyond what has always been regarded as “normal” sexual practices.
It’s still difficult to come out if you’re gay. BDSM and D/s relationships are seen as at best odd and at worst deviant. This forces people to make a choice; Either try exploration and risk possible ridicule and discrimination or play it safe and ignore you inquisitiveness about “other” forms of sexuality.
We have boundaries in our sex , they are defined by what we want to experience, not what anyone else thinks we should or should not try. What we write comes from personal experience, giving an authenticity to our writing that I like to think is obvious when you read it. That applies to everything we write from the sex (when, where, how and what have you) to details like my recent two-part story “Letting Her Squeeze It” here and here.
The description of smoking is from personal experience. I used to smoke, I remember the paraphernalia associated with the habit, the hit of the nicotine, the effect of tar on my lungs, the deeper timbre of my voice and the hacking cough it gave me in the mornings. You don’t get that from watching other people, or hearing about it second hand.
The photography references in the story that I’ve posted for this evening are from personal experience too … as is the experience of watching someone masturbate in front of me while I jerked off.