Lady Ga Ga Sexes It Up

By | February 9, 2009

Lady Ga Ga Blah Blah BlahIt’s no mystery that I am a fan of the female form. I write about it, I write fiction about it and I get my hands on it whenever I can. But there are some female forms that leave me cold. And I’m not talking about Anne Widdecombe.

It’s Lady Ga Ga.

The Whole thing, all of it. Not her, because she’s an IT. I don’t mean that Joanne Stefani Germanotta is a hermaphrodite – I mean that she’s a product, maybe a product of her own design but a product all the same. I’m reminded of Five Star, a group who you may or may not remember from the 80s. they were constructed as a British version of the Jacksons by their father/manager and rose to fame rapidly before crashing down to earth again.

Sadly I suspect that buoyed on a bubble of hyperbole and a tidal wave of what can only be described of The Emperor’s New Clothes syndrome (something that the music media seems to far too susceptible to) she’ll be around for a while. I became aware that I was listening to “Just Dance” in the car today and the lyrics made my jaw drop :

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

This is Grammy award nominee quality?

Try this on for size:

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
“I’m a laughing Gnome and you don’t catch me”
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
“I’m a laughing Gnome and you can’t catch me”
The Laughing Gnome, David Bowie, 1966

And now I hear from the ever reliable tabloids that Lady Ga Ga is going to Sex up her stage show … sniff, sniff ahhh! The smell of desperation. You can tell I don’t like Lady Ga Ga can’t you.