Driving It Home…

The weather in the UK had taken an amazing turn this past weekend.  It’s the first time I can remember Easter being so warm and dry.  Out came the summer skirts and t-shirts and it feels good to let some air get to my bits and pieces.  🙂

As I drove to work with the sun blazing through the windscreen I felt lifted and full of the joys of…well, sex really.  The warm weather makes me even more randy than usual.  Alex you better watch out.  😉

I took to looking around at the local talent as I drove in and watching people in their cars as they hurry along to work or just get in the bloody way!  Why is it that people who don’t work have to jump in their cars at peak times and drive slowly.  Not just slowly but in front of me.  It’s just like Saturday morning at the supermarket, these people have all week to do their shopping but when do they choose to do it, at peak time.

Sorry about that, I just went off on one.  Lol.  So I’m looking around and observing people, the guy with his finger up his nose who doesn’t seem to realise that we can all see him through glass.  And the girl trying to put her makeup on whilst driving!

But what interested me most was guys’ driving styles.  I began to wonder if there was some correlation between the way they drive and the way they behave between the sheets.  See what you think…

The Tailer – he hangs around in the offside lane, only just visible in your rear view mirror.  He matches your speed exactly and just sits there, not overtaking but being a hazard should you want to pull out to overtake a slow moving vehicle ahead.

He won’t commit to overtake you and is indecisive, covering all options.  Probably a sub who needs to be guided by his female, told what to do and how to do it.  Likes the girl to take control and make the decisions.

The Lane Weaver –  This guy is such a chancer, he can’t make his mind up what he wants jumping in to one lane then another.

He probably likes to dip in to both holes just like a porn star.  First anal then pussy, then anal…you get the idea.  Never sticking with entrance long enough to enjoy it.

The Tailgator –  You’ve all encountered him.  He pulls right up to your bumper, so close you can see his nasal hair.  Lol 

This guy likes to take you from behind, probably an anal man.  He likes to dominate his woman and ram it home good and hard.

The Pimper – This guy is usually young (or wishes he was).  With his double exhausted noise bucket, loud music and peaked cap.  He can barely see over the steering wheel and has to wear a hat to give him those vital mm’s of height.

This guy is suffering from little cock syndrome.  I’m not saying that having a small cock is a problem but to him it is because his car is now compensating for his lack of manhood.  Big exhausts, which look to me like baked bean tins welded to the rear of the car.  Now what are they saying?  I’m sure it’s not just me.

Loud music blasting out, vying for everyone’s attention because if you met this guy out of his pimped up ride you wouldn’t give him a second look, in fact you would probably trip over him if you were my height.  Lol

The Lane Hog – He gets in to the offside lane and nothing is going to move him.  There may be a long line of traffic building behind him but he doesn’t care.  Because he is quite content in his lane thank you very much.  🙂

He know what he likes and sticks with it, no room for experimentation between the sheets here girls.  Once he gets his motor running he just sticks it in drive and goes along for the ride.  Don’t expect anything other than missionary with him, to him there is no other position.

The CruiserAka Mr Smooth.  You know the type, one arm on the wheel the other resting on the door.  He does it with one hand and thinks he looks so cool! 

Any girl lucky enough to get off with him will need to put some work in.  He may have his arm behind his head as he fucks you, watching himself in the mirror over the bed.

You won’t be his first and you certainly won’t be his last…tonight.

There are plenty of “Chicks” just waiting to get their hands on him.  NOT!

13 thoughts on “Driving It Home…

  1. I can recognize myself in none of the above so now there’s a question that is gonna keep me awake all night: what kind of bed driver am I? LOL
    I like the descriptions you gave of these guys. It must be pretty accurate. Now it could be interesting to complete the survey with the other gender! 🙂

  2. That’s why I am fairly happy with my car-less state of being… lol. On a good day, taking public transport and taxis, especially in a city like Hong Kong, is much more comfortable.

  3. Driving home through our winding Welsh roads, I used to hate the guy in front who drove at a steady twentyfive – until he came to a stretch where I could safely overtake, when he immediately put his foot down. I called him many things.

  4. I’ve dated the Cruiser…don’t want to think about the work I had to put in, but the Pimper (I think I dated a hybrid) surprised me with his appendage (it made me assess the KY jelly tubes that I’d have to buy). Being a passenger provides many insights too

  5. Oh, you forgot the planner. The one who makes lane changes a couple kilometers before anything actually happens and seems to plan their driving to minimize any slowdown.

    I’m sure they are the type who plan out their sex long before they get the clothes off. You know, the dinner, the romance, the sex. Which positions in which order. 🙂

  6. Judging by my driving style, I don’t fall into any of those stereotypes 🙂 I go at a nice speed (legal), overtaking the trucks when I need to on the motorway, or the odd slower car, trying to plan things properly 🙂

  7. funny stuff suze. i love the way you think. wanna go skipping?lolol btw….. that pic is hot…i had a hard time reading your observations.

  8. Ha Ha Ha….you definitely had me laughing out loud with that. I think my neighbors heard….oops. Thanks for the giggle. 🙂

  9. Froggy, are you a speed king? Driving fast and hard! 😉 I will have to cover the female driver next, great idea.

    Cosima, I can well understand that it is easier to take public transport in Hong Kong.

    Miss U, Alex has a tendency to seed up and then cruise. 😉

    Alfie, I have been behind that bloody driver many times. Lol

    Ana, tell me more about the pimper…

    Asterisk, Thanks, so which kind of driver are you?

    T’Sade, great one! I missed him out.

    Kyma, you like to play it safe then, no risks taken. 😉

    Mrs Zig, bring the rope and we can play all day.

    Cherrie, Froggy just made me think about doing women next. 🙂

    DP, I’m glad I made you laugh.

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