There was a time when I was acutely concerned about what people thought of me. That was a long time ago. I remember the day when it changed. I was about 12 years old, my acute nervousness and lack of self-confidence was crushing me into a tiny ball when I suddenly realised – Why was I so worried about what everyone thinks of me?
It came to me in the space of a few seconds. Some people might disagree with me, but that was just a normal part of life. Others might point out mistakes I’d made but making a mistake is not a reason to hide yourself away in case people thought you were imperfect.
From that moment on my life changed and although it took many years for my confidence to grow to the level it’s at now that moment was the start of the rest of my life. A new life that freed me from being concerned that everything I did might be judged.
The fact is that some people are judgemental and by recognising that and realising it’s their problem you don’t let yourself be constrained by them. I didn’t suddenly become Mr Confidence; That would have been impossible, a lack of confidence means you don’t develop the social skills that you might otherwise have had because you limit yourself to a small group of friends and only let yourself be exposed to a range of situations that you’re comfortable with.
All that said, it took until 2005 until I was confident enough, with Suze, to start AlexSuze.com. Since then we’ve written about our most intimate moments, fictional erotica and all the naughty thoughts that come into our head. Granted the anonymity afforded by blogging has helped us to do that, yet even then it would have been inconceivable to me when we started that we could be so well received and enjoyed. My English was never great and my creative writing never really developed until we started writing here.
Occasionally one of the several thousand readers each day tells us on how much they enjoy what we write. In the case of one reader who emailed us last night they told us how some of our posts have been the starting point for their masturbation.
I don’t use the word wow very often, but it fits here. To be able to turn on a complete stranger without meeting them, or talking to them is incredible and hugely gratifying. To move them to masturbate about the events we describe here is not only rewarding but rather horny for us too.