Hard Core Fucking Your Pilates Instructor

By | August 17, 2009

Kate BushWell, we did it again. We watched the dreaded drossy sex programme on one of the satellite channels and it was worse than last week. How can that be? You may ask. Because this week instead of being a mixture of stuff both exaggerated and contrived this week’s programme was completely fictitious as far as we could tell.

From the stories about how many people the Z-list celebs had bedded to the incredible made-up names for sexual practices this programme knows no shame. To their credit a few of the vox celebrité faces did indicate they hadn’t got a clue what the interviewers were talking about. Which is not surprising as the ideas, concepts and practices being investigated were complete tosh.

The one that really got me was the “Journalist” whose name flashed up so briefly that I couldn’t read it between fits of laughter. She very confidently told us that sex toys (All of them? Some of them? She didn’t clarify) contains some evil chemicals called … get this thalatés. Now I thought that was a form of yoga.

Now I’m all for fucking your yoga instructor, they’re supple and tend to wear leotards, nice. LOL However I think the journo ought to have checked the pronunciation – it’s phthalates – thal-Ates, the ph is silent and there is no accent on the “e”.

Ah well that was an amusing interlude in the middle of the unrelentingly contrived piece of televisual bollocks that constituted a show.

Actually, writing this made me remember a conversation I had a couple of years ago when having lunch with one of the producers from the sister production company of the one that produced this pile of bollocks.

We’d had some friends involved in a TV production with an unrelated TV production firm and they had been asked to re-enact a few events for dramatic effect in a documentary. They were a bit uncomfortable with the production company’s request but went along with it at the time.

The guy I was having lunch with was horrified and said “We’d never do anything like that, it’s totally unethical to construct situations and events …” Things have changed since he left to join the BBC. LOL.

BTW if you want to know more about phthalates in sex toy, the facts, not total bollocks you can read it here.