Porn Movies And Angelina Jolie

By | August 22, 2009

Mr and Mrs SmithInglorious Basterds is one of those movies that we want to go and see and yet keep being told by the critics that it is a bit pants.

We were always sceptical about Quentin Tarantino – too much hype around Reservoir Dogs – until that is we saw pulp fiction, then went back through the films he’d done and caught up on a couple. First Reservoir Dogs, then Jackie brown and picking up on Dusk Til Dawn on the way.

The thing about Tarantino is that he loves film. He loves the movie business. This is a double-edged sword. It means he’s great at invoking the cinema of the past but he’s also occasionally self-indulgent and therefore often a bit of an arse.

It looks like Inglorious Basterds might be like that. We want to love it. Suze wants to see Brad pit in an army uniform so she can drool a bit and get some masturbation fantasies bank, but it could be real pants.

All that said porn ought to take a leaf out of Tarantino’s book. Inglorious Basterds is a remake of a 1970s film. There are loads of films that are ripe for the porn treatment. OK, I know there have been numerous “porn version” of well-known titles, but frankly they take the name, add a few vaguely appropriate costumes and then shoot the movie.

Porn deserves a bit of thought to invoke the really horny bits of films of the past. It should explore the sexually charged scenes like the chess game in the Thomas Crown Affair , the bit in Mr And Mrs Smith where they try to kill each other and the edited love scene in Star Wars episode 4 between Han Solo and Luke … OK I made the last one up but now I’m distracted thinking about a silver suited Jollie in Tomb Raider.

Porn ought to be more referential to popular culture and I don’t mean just stealing and mutilating the titles of the film.