Communication Breakdown

By | September 3, 2007

Following along from Suze’s post yesterday I thought we’d have a bit of classic rock. Why? Well, read on.

Blogging is still pretty much undiscovered country for most of the world’s population. Diary keeping has been around for centuries, millennia even, but blogging and its inherent interactive nature sets it apart from the predominantly solo pursuit of journal keeping.

I would say that the audience of a blog is hugely wider than a diary and that is true save for a few notable exceptions such as Peyps, Woolf, Frank. But I think it’s the interactivity of a blog which sets it apart from the paper and ink that presaged blogging.

We as bloggers (the wider we, all bloggers, not just Suze and I) are part of an exclusive and auto-elected club. Being an adult blogger makes you part of a very specific section of the blogging world. It’s a fringe group, loosely attached to the other non-commercial bloggers out there. And I feel we’re often misunderstood.

We choose to open up part of our life that others keep behind closed doors. That doesn’t make us any less valuable as part of the online community than any other blogger. Though some might think that’s the case. There is an overwhelming majority of the online community who would ignore or deride us in public (even if they have a sneaky read in private).

That’s there choice. However I found myself wondering if, moral/ideological objections aside, there were not other reasons why we are misunderstood. That’s it you see, perhaps we as adult bloggers do not speak in a language that the rest of the world understands. Perhaps we are too open, too at home with the terminology, the practices, the recognition of our desires as natural and not sinful that we inadvertently build a wall between us and some of the people who read us.

It’s like me and the Japanese language, I know a few Japanese words but drop me in the middle of Tokyo and I would be somewhat at sea. I would recognise where I was and the commonality that I have with its population as fellow human beings, but most of the spoken language of Japan and all of its written word are indecipherable to me.

I don’t know how we get round this problem, or if indeed we should even try. Adult blogging is our world and I feel we’re welcoming enough. For example if someone has the courage to ask what the letters BDSM mean, or what BDSM is (a question with as many answers as there are practitioners) we’d all try to answer to the best of our ability. The problem arises that a description of any non-vanilla aspect of sexuality from the most common/well-known of fetishes to the most extreme of predilections cannot be complete without an understanding of the psyche of those involved. You have to get to know the adult blogging world and the bloggers within it to fully appreciate it.

Yes of course you can dip in and read what is effectively mass-produced pornography on some blogs. You know the ones, mono-thematic, repetitive and deliberately appealing to an audience whose attention span demands posts have a low word count. The commercial “blogs” tend to be like this, the trash that Blogger seems unable or unwilling to remove, hook sites with petty entrepreneurs attempting to survive by buying content, affiliate linkage and gaudy sidebar advertising.

I think we’re happy as we are, different, slightly marginalized, but true to ourselves and if anyone wants to come in and joins we’ll happily show them the ropes, and the chains and the rest of the toys …

Tags: adult blogging, sex blogging, bdsm, communication, sex, sexuality, fetishism, fetish, fetishes, samuel peyps, virginia woolf, anne frank, led zepplin, communication breakdown