Ice, Ice Baby

By | July 12, 2005

Maybe it’s the hot weather but I have concluded that coconuts were a mistake. When nature designed them it decided that they should only be eaten by humans with a toolbox. Suze fancied a bit yesterday (double entendre intended) so we bought one from the supermarket.

Opening it required the use of a Bosch drill, to drain the milk and a claw hammer to break the shell. Then there’s the highly hazardous task of separating the flesh from the shell with a knife, 1 2 3 … 9 10, fingers all still in place, just. And I didn’t even have to remove the thick fibrous husk which I believe involves a three foot metal blade buried into the ground, pointy end up, while the poor de-husking operative impales the coconuts on it levers off the husk.

So how did our ancestors eat them? Maybe this is proof of a forgotten technology, ancient power tools energised by pyramids?

Yes my brain’s cooked. Which is why Suze tried to cool my “brains” down yesterday by dipping them in some icy water. We were screwing last night, when I had to stop due to my cock being severely abraded by a stray labia while we were pounding away.

Suze disappeared to the kitchen with an evil glint in her eye and returned with a tall glass half filled with water. This was very welcome as it soothed my cock, after the initial jolt, and turned me on immensely. The shock of having my semi-erect penis plunged into icy water made me cry out with delight.

Suze also had the forethought to only fill the glass half way,as with the added volume of my member the level rose almost to the top. I was so turned on at the time I would have filled the glass and sloshed water everywhere as I dipped my wick. Ah Suze, randy as hell and practical with it.

Her reward for this was that I was soothed and soon developed a health stiffy. Better than that I was able to shaft her with a cool hard cock. She shrieked with delight as I slid into her. I warmed up quite quickly with the healthy blood flow to my tool. Suze still had a huge grin on her face when her orgasm began to take hold and I shot hot spunk into her.

Once she was onto the cold theme it didn’t take long for Suze to get the ice cubes out. Top tip here is that using ice straight from the freezer is potentially disastrous as it sticks. The solution is to put it in water first for a couple of minutes. Also, don’t use cubes, use crosses, you can hold them better as they melt and get slippery. We got our ice cube trays from Ikea, they are perfect.

I discovered ages ago that I like Suze to rub ice on my nipples, down my chest and along my shaft. The glans is a bit painful, but when she cools my balls I’m in heaven. The real revelation was my anus. I love having ice rubbed gentle over my arsehole, the intensity of the sensation is making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up just thinking about it.

Well, I’m off to make sure the freezer’s fully stocked with ice …