I normally wear my hair up in a twist on the top of my head for work, it’s more practical than wearing it down and it looks more professional. But on Friday I was in a hurry to get off to work because I had been held up by an intruder. No, don’t worry, I’m perfectly safe.
This intruder is American and has very sharp teeth. Has anyone guessed what it is yet? Lol It was a bloody squirrel. As you will know if you have been reading this blog for a while, we live in a lovely village and as a consequence of that we have lots of wildlife. Which is good. That is until it decides to make its home in yours.
I was minding my own in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I heard a gnawing outside, it seemed to be coming from ceiling height. Hurriedly I finished up in the bathroom and semi naked in my bra and panties I wandered outside to check the back of the house.
And as bold as brass a large grey squirrel was staring down from the guttering and I’m sure he gave me a smile before disappearing. My heart sank as I thought of the possibilities of him eating his way through years of memorabilia we keep up in the attic space. Not to mention the electrical wiring. Alex had already left for work and there was just me and the cat.
After locking up the back of the house I returned to the bathroom. The bloody thing was still chewing it’s way in to the house and now the cat had joined me to check out the noise. In desperation, hoping that I could scare off the grey terror, I opened my mouth pulled as much air in to my lungs as I could and let out an almighty MEOW! Well, it worked on the cat he bolted into the back bedroom and the woodworking stopped.
Quietly I stood there waiting for signs that the squirrel had gone. I listened…and listened…
…the it started to chew again. “Fuck it!”, I thought and I got ready for work, no time to sort this out it would have to wait until I got home from work. I just knew it would play on my mind all day. I had visions of the squirrel sitting in the attic reading my old school books and looking through photo albums whilst snuggling up with some of my childhood soft toys.
When I arrived at work the girls were in a good mood, you could tell it was Friday. 🙂 I told them about my unwanted guest and they laughed. The cows! Lol After filling them in on my morning I got some feedback from them.
The blonde with the bust, turned to me and said. “I got a text from A [her BF] and he was so rude”, she giggled and then added “he said he had been walking round with a hardon all morning just thinking about me”. She blushed and giggled and I sat open mouthed. I think this girl should write a blog. 😉
She went on, “to tease him I told him I was wearing red stilettos and fishnet stockings for work today”. I turned to her and accused her of being a naughty tease, not believing for one minute that she would ever turn up for work dressed like that.
Well, just how wrong was I.
“Look, she said”, tuning her office chair and moving from the confines of her desk. She was wearing a blue pinstripe trouser suit with a red shirt. Then I looked down. On her feet were a pair of shiny red leather stilettos and her foot was encased in a black fishnet. Jesus! I don’t know about what she was doing to her boyfriend, more like what was she doing to me. *gulp*
All of a sudden the office is becoming a much more enjoyable environment to work in. All day I kept wondering between thoughts of her up on her haunches straggling me on the bed, her breasts looked so big from down there…and…that bloody squirrel who kept bringing me right back down to earth.