Sex On The Far Side Of Slut

By | February 17, 2010

In particle physics you often find that each particle has an anti-particle. For the electron there’s the positron, for the proton there is the anti-proton for example. It maintains a kind of balance in the universe and although as most people realise matter and antimatter annihilate each other on contact the quantities in existence are so small that you can’t make a bomb from them al la “Angels And Demons”. Sorry Dan.

In the tangible world there are opposites too, night and day, hot and cold, talented pop stars and Lady Ga Ga.

But also when it comes to sex there are people who seem to go out of their way to make themselves unattractive. There are two reasons for this I think. Sometimes people have such a low self esteem that they try to make themselves undesirable as an affirmation of this lack of belief in themselves. This is really sad because I truly believe there is someone for everyone, well apart from probably Lady Ga Ga.

Then there are the people who go so far out of their way to look “good” and adorn themselves with such elaborate and involved clothes, body art, jewellery, hair and makeup that they end up looking ridiculous. There’s a scale from the dreary to the pitifully and desperately outrageous. At one end is the sort of uniform they used to make you wear in the Co-Op and at the other is Lady Ga Ga.

It’s the same with sex. Almost. The unadorned human body is beautiful and depending on your taste from the whole panoply of human forms each of us finds a range of them attractive. Each of us prefers more or less adornment on our partner, makeup, underwear, certain items of clothing or a specific hairstyle. It can be a simple kiss of lipstick and blusher on a woman , a demure but sexy outfit or a full-on slutty number – or you may be turned on by someone who looks like an explosion in a theatrical prop store … You know who I mean.

But lucky for Lady Bla Bla I have found a partner who deserves her, I hope she got his number at the Brits ceremony last night – Liam, you deserve her you silly little man. You’re not a twenty-something pop star anymore, you’re a very rich middle-aged man who’s is starting to look increasingly foolish when you behave like a kid … see Jonathan Ross at the same ceremony. Mr Gallagher, go and enjoy your money somewhere away from the TV cameras until you have come to terms with your age.