Taking A Bung

By | October 27, 2006

Well Aunt Flo is here once again.  She visits too bloody often for my liking.  😀  Activities don’t stop around the AlexSuze household they just get a little more messy than normal.  Out comes the fuck towel and shower sex, although sometimes dangerous, is the preferred option.

I would prefer not to have to shove foreign objects up there for the duration and use towels instead but I love the freedom you get form internal protection.  Plus I walk like a duck when I use towels, which is in itself a bit of a giveaway to the rest of the world.  I may as well wear a bloody sign on my back which says, “Hey look, Suze is on her period”.  LOL

I’ve tried to get along with towels, believe me.  They have ended up screwed up in to a thin absorbent line in the gusset of my pants, covered with the pubic hairs, which stuck to the useless bonding strip (in my, more natural hairy days).  Pads have ended up completely out of my panties and stuck to my thigh.  Also not a good look.

Even more embarrassing, I have had them fall out of my panties and on to the floor.  No doubt the securing strips are far more effective these days but I’m ok with tampons thank you very much.  They took my virginity and I’m not giving them up yet.

I recall being on holiday and not taking any sanitary protection at all.  My mother lent me one of her tampons and the instructions on how to insert one.  I went back to my room and studied the leaflet with keen interest and followed each step precisely.  It was like a complete revelation to me, I could go swimming in the hotel pool, wear tight clothing and best of all stop that bloody waddling.

But the real reason for this post is my little mishap today which made me think of the difficulties encountered with tampons.  This is where the guys start to groan and say, “what do I know about tampons?”.  Well stick around and you may just learn something.  I’m not saying that you want to know but don’t say I didn’t tell you.  🙂

Have any of you girls out there encountered some or all of these?

  • Fanny too dry to insert the tampon.  Yes you push and push and that little thing is going nowhere.  Not a very pleasant sensation, dry cotton against dry vaginal walls.  So you reach for the lube but don’t apply too much.
  • Removed the tampon from its packet and the cardboard push-up tube falls out.  You then have to push the tube back in to the outer one and at the same time capture the string.  All whilst trying to hover over the public toilet.  Not good!  But I have a top tip for you.  Dangle the string in to the top of the inner tube and then blow down on it, this both straightens and puts tension of the string allowing you to put the two tubes together quicker.  I know, I’m just full of useful ideas.

At this point some of you are asking for a diagram to show exactly what I am talking about.  Right?  Well just for you here is what I am talking about.

 

 

  • Another problem which occurs occasionally is excessive moisture.  Whilst it is good to be lubricated for insertion, over lubrication can result in over insertion.  Let me explain for the uninitiated.  Both tubes align and enter inside the vagina making it difficult to withdraw the tubes as the slip between your fingers.  The only advice I can give here is that persistence does pay off and you will with patience eventually retrieve the cardboard tubes.  Hopefully before they start to get too moist and disintegrate.  Too much information!
  • By far the most painful of all my tampon mishaps is the trapping of the inner lips between both card tubes.  OUCH!  That bloody hurts and like trying to remove a barbed hook from your finger (one for all the fishermen to empathise with) freeing up trapped lip fucking kills.  So guys I do know what it feels like to get you knob stuck in your zipper.  I’m afraid the only advice for this one is to get your partner to kiss it better or if you are alone use a cold flannel on your poor nipped labia minora.

Girls have I missed any out?