It’s a commonly held view that men are unsophisticated when it comes to their attitudes toward sex. Frankly I used to take this as a bit of a slight on the half of the human population that I belong to. Nobody likes to be called unsophisticated, it’s one step away from being called stupid.
Being unsophisticated however may not be such a bad thing. Indeed not thinking too much about sex (as opposed to just wanting, seeking out and having sex) may be what defines us as men.
Every man’s partner wants something slightly different from him. Some may want a submissive man, compliant, or even a truly submissive slave to their Master, but on the whole I think what is sought is the more primitive male, full of hormones and maybe a little lacking in recognition of the consequences of his actions. In some ways I see a submissive man as fundamentally more thoughtful about sex and sexuality. Not a hard and fast rule, but from what I’ve learned about submissives their sexuality has a large psychological element, far more than the hormonal and instinctively biased drive of their more dominant counterparts.
A lack of sophistication does not necessarily mean a lack of intelligence. Paradoxically I think my indignation at the belief that men can be unsophisticated is because of my misunderstanding of what a prospective partner wants from their man. The vast majority of people seeking men as partners want someone who will exhibit dominant tendencies, think about and solicit sex from them as often as possible, get protective when they are threatened.
Not being attracted to men myself means that I missed this until very recently. And it was only this afternoon that the realisation resolved itself into this post.
Who’d have thought it?